The Complete Collection: Supernatural Dating Agency Books 1-6

by Long, Andie M.

  “You are in Withernsea. My realm. I will not ask your permission to punish someone who is so disrespectful to my people. You have yet to form an alliance that will challenge me, Duke, and I suggest you remember your place here.”

  He bowed. “My apologies, Your Grace. You are correct. We shall bid you goodbye also now, Brishon. We will see you again on Saturday.” The challenge was in his voice. Whatever. If he didn’t get out of my face in the next three seconds I was going to serve him with a side of chilli sauce.

  “Mum, you were totally kick ass then.” Charlie looked at me with awe in her gaze. A rare look from a teenager. I was usually subject to surly looks and eye-rolls.

  “Yes, wife, that was kind of hot.” Theo’s gaze was filled with lust. Men and their libidos. I was so not in the mood right now.

  We were taken back to the beach, travelling there in near silence. If Theo felt my arse one more time I was going to bind his arms behind his back with webs, and not so I could do naughty things to him.

  “So now what do we do?” Charlie asked me.

  “Right now, we go home. Drake, there’s a room for you back at the farm.”

  A frown line appeared between Polly’s brows. “Why can’t we share a room?”

  “You’re having separate rooms away from each other so that if Mark and Debbie ask, I am protecting your virtue. However, if one or the other of you happens to sleepwalk into the others room, then of course there’s nothing I can do about that. And for that reason, your rooms will be right at the other end of the farmhouse because I don’t want to be disturbed by any ‘sleepwalking’.”

  “Yes, and you see we also may ‘sleepwalk’, so it’s best that we don’t trip over each other.” Theo said.

  “We will not be sleepwalking this evening. I’m knackered.”

  “Oh my god, why are adults so lame. Is this because I’m here? Just say shagging for God’s sake. Now can we please get home because I’ve spent enough time in the company of lame adults for one evening.”

  Charlie stomped off in front. That was more like my daughter.

  I sighed. “Come on, let’s get home.”

  Theo showed Drake his room. I poured myself a brandy and went to sit in the living room. I needed to get my thoughts together about what could be done before Saturday.

  Theo came in and sat beside me. I was tapping my fingernails against the glass.

  “For once I honestly don’t know what to do.” I told him. “If I interfere, I risk trouble from Mark and Debbie, and from under the sea. It’s political and I hate politics. Why did I get this gig? I don’t want to rule Withernsea and I don’t want Charlie to have to do it either. I just want a quiet life.”

  Theo placed an arm around me. “I don’t believe anyone has a quiet life, even those who don’t rule places. Life wasn’t meant to be quiet. It was meant to be lived, with passion and purpose.”

  I tilted my head at him. “Do you have to be so wise?”

  “Hard not to be at 127 years old.”

  I snuggled into his embrace. “What do I do, Theo?”

  “Personally, I’d leave Polly and Drake alone tomorrow to let them try to figure this out for themselves. He knows the ways of the sea and what’s at stake. They’re both adults. They know where we are if they need us.”

  “It just doesn’t seem right to do nothing.”

  “So, talk to the others over coffee tomorrow. See what they think about the whole situation. But go enjoy work while you’re there and let it distract you from things for a bit. It’s not good for you to get so tense.” He started to rub the back of my neck.

  “You’re right, Theo. As always. So, I’d better get to bed as I have to be up early in the morning.”

  His face fell.

  “You could help me not feel so tense if you want?” I raised an eyebrow.

  He didn’t need to be asked twice.

  Chapter Ten

  Charlie

  As soon as I got home, I went straight to my room and Skyped my best friend. Alyssa was a werewolf and a complete badass. She’d saved her pack by killing a rival pack leader and his mother during a pack war.

  “Why do they treat us like kids, when you saved the pack and I’m going to save Withernsea? It’s not fair. We’re totally underestimated.”

  “Nah.” Alyssa looked at her black glossy lacquered fingernails that she kept filed to a point. “They just don’t know what to do with us. Deep down I think they’re afraid to look too closely. Think about it. We’re only sixteen. Well I properly am, and you kind of are, and look at what we’re capable of. What we’re going to be like when we’re fully-fledged adults is anyone’s guess.”

  “Well, it sucks. Like all this stuff going on with Polly and Drake. Did anyone ask my opinion on what to do? No.”

  “So, what do you think they should do?”

  “I have no idea. I haven’t even dated anyone yet, much less want to stay with them, but that’s not the point.”

  “Yeah, maybe it kind of is. You don’t have much experience in life yet. You were born with all this understanding, but you’ve not really done anything yet.”

  “What like lose my virginity?” I whispered this because if my dad and his super-vamp hearing heard my conversation, I’d be locked in my room like Rapunzel, except he’d shave my head so there was no chance of escape.

  “Not necessarily because I know you want to save yourself for the merman, but some kind of ‘save the world’ experience. Like how I’ve already saved the pack. The pack treat me like a teenager still because that’s what I am, and it’s how we’ve continued, but I have no doubt if I kicked off they’d roll over, literally. You need to kick arse in some way and then you’d have more respect come your way, teenager or not. Or, you’d get grounded. Could go either way to be honest.”

  “So, I need to look for a way of saving Withernsea somehow? I could help Polly and Drake.”

  “No, that’s too big a project. You need something smaller. An opportunity is bound to present itself soon.”

  I sighed. “Okay. Hey, you want to come hang at the shop tomorrow with me, while Ebony is still away? My aunt’s been keeping me company but now she has her man I doubt she’ll see daylight.”

  “Yeah, sounds great, and I can check out the new barista you were telling me about.”

  “He’s hot. You should see his tats, Alyssa. He’s all beefed up and a complete hunk of man steak. Expensive man steak.”

  “See you in the morning then. You can pay me in clothes.”

  “You’d better work hard and sell a lot then and scaring customers by growling at them isn’t an approved method of selling.”

  “Sometimes you are no fun at all, bestie.”

  “Is it legal for a seven-month-old to be left in charge of a shop?” Is Alyssa’s opening booming statement as she steps through the doorway.

  “Funny.”

  “Withernsea is just the weirdest place ever, isn’t it? It looks like a really quiet seaside town to anyone visiting, and yet it’s full of the escapades of humans and supernaturals alike. For instance, take a look at me.” Alyssa runs a hand down her body. “No one would believe that underneath this sweet looking teenage girl lies a cold-hearted murderer.”

  “Is that how you’re going to introduce yourself to Bartholomew because I think that sentence is a winner.”

  “Speaking of which. Can we go get a coffee yet?”

  I placed my hands on my hips. “You’ve only been in the shop for a minute. Get over here and help me unpack the stock that arrived an hour ago. Now I know how my mum feels about Kim.”

  Alyssa sighed. “I think you were much more fun as a baby actually. When you couldn’t speak.”

  At ten-thirty the bell on the shop dinged and in walked Jax. She very rarely left her coffee shop. My mum said she was mainly quite introverted.

  “Hey, Jax. Please don’t say you’ve come to tell us that the coffee has run out?”

  “No.” She smiled. “I have a date tonight and I need
to find something to wear.”

  I felt excitement burst through my veins. Jax was petite with short dark hair and a pretty face. She had huge dark eyes, and a heart-shaped face. This was going to be like dressing a living doll and bearing in mind I’d skipped the whole playing with dolls stage, this was a dream come true.

  “Do you have any ideas of what look you’re going for?”

  She shook her head. “I’ll be honest, it’s been a while since I dated anyone, and also Tristan is like the top-level of Pixies, something I didn’t even know existed a few months ago. I didn’t know if there was any way I was supposed to act or dress.”

  “Yeah there is.” Alyssa said, cocking a hip out. “You act like you want to, girlfriend. No one puts Jax in a corner.”

  “You need to stop watching that film.” I told her.

  “It’s vintage. You should have respect for a classic.”

  “Vintage! That’s it! You’ll look beautiful in a gorgeous tea dress. It will suit your body shape and coming just to your knee will accentuate your lovely legs. Do you have some Mary-Jane style shoes?” Once I knew her size, I grabbed the dress I had in mind and looked around the store for accessories. I found a complementary handbag and a belt.

  “Then with just a hint of make-up and some paste in your hair, oh and this cute headband,” I whipped a white fabric headband with a cute little white bow from the accessories section. “You’ll look good enough to eat.”

  Alyssa raised an eyebrow at me for that one, so I glared at her communicating a large ‘do not say a word’. I think Jax would depart like a startled sparrow if we launched into a conversation about sex with her.

  A short time later, Jax was armed with two bags containing her date night attire. “Thank you, girls. You’ve made me feel like a princess.”

  “Well, hopefully that will continue this evening on your date. Do you know where he’s taking you yet?” I realised I possibly should have asked this question before advising her on her outfit. If they were rock-climbing I’d fucked up.

  “I don’t know. He just said he’d pick me up at 8pm. Hopefully it’ll be a nice quiet meal where we can chat and get to know each other better.” Jax smiled. “Ebony saw us getting together, so I have faith that all will be nice and go well. Anyway,” she looked at us both, “when it’s your break time, it’s coffee and a pastry on the house.”

  “It’s break time now, funnily enough, isn’t it, Charlie?” Alyssa let her yellow wolf eyes flash behind Jax’s back. It was so tempting to have a test run of all the powers I had so far and have my best friend crap her pants, but that wouldn’t be a nice thing to do so I restrained myself. Plus, I was totally ready for a drink, and to drink in the barista eye candy.

  “We’ll just close up the shop and we’ll be around in a few minutes. Thanks so much, Jax.”

  “No, thank you. Ebony is lucky to have you looking after the store while she’s away. It’s in good hands. You’re a natural at picking out outfits for people.”

  She left, and I sighed. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in my destiny to dress Withernsea. More like address Withernsea, as its Queen. I decided more than ever I needed to enjoy the freedom I had now before it was no longer in my grasp. Saving the world could wait.

  We walked through the coffee shop. Alyssa stood staring at the counter, transfixed by the sight of Bartholomew. “Jesus, he is a fine steak all right. I’m worshipping at the feet of the guy who from now on shall be known as Sir Loins.”

  “Behave yourself and come and sit down.” I grabbed her arm and dragged my reluctant best friend over to a table. Jax called my mum and so within a few minutes there was my mum, Kim, Lucy, me, and Alyssa sat around a table nursing hot beverages. Another moment later, Samara from the grooming salon dashed in and plonked herself down. We didn’t see her much. She was happily married and liked to work and go home. She was a supernatural in a way—she was a cupid—but according to my mum, Samara was lazy and couldn’t be bothered to do her job, and that was why my mum had needed to open the dating agency. Apparently, between a lazy cupid and the reign of Satan there wasn’t much love around Withernsea back then. Samara and her husband, a vet, had been the first couple my mum matched together. Samara said she much preferred to spend her time with animals rather than humans. The only time she made an exception was when the Hogsthorpe pack needed a trim as they were a bit too hairy for a normal barber at times.

  “Hey, stranger.” My mum turned to Samara. “If you’re feeling up to it, Jax is out on her first date tonight with Tristan.”

  Samara pulled a face at Jax. “Could Ebony have not got you anyone better than the Pixie King or whatever he is?”

  “Hey, Ebony just sees the future. If you wanted someone better, you should have come out with your bow and arrows and done your biz on Valentine’s.” Kim said.

  Samara fluffed at her blonde curls. “I did dedicate the whole evening to love.”

  “Shagging your husband doesn’t count and you know it.”

  “Kim, my husband's arrows fit perfectly into my quiver. Anyway, don’t you lot start. Cupid Headquarters are doing an audit. I’ve been getting away with it seeing as we have a good quota of couples in Withernsea thanks to the dating agency, but if they dig deep and find out I’ve not done my own personal quota, then I’ll be in the shit.”

  “What happens to a cupid who doesn’t cupid?” I asked.

  Samara shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

  “Does it not say in your rulebook or guide to being Cupid?” I queried.

  “Erm, well… I haven’t ever been bothered to read it. Ah, I’m sure it will all be okay. Anyway, enough about me. What time is Tristan picking you up and where are you going?” She asked Jax.

  “Eight pm and I don’t know where we’re going yet, but thanks to Charlie, I have the perfect outfit.”

  “Oooh.” Samara suddenly became animated. “Show us.”

  Jax ran into the back to grab her new clothes.

  “She’s really excited about the whole thing, isn’t she?” My mum said. “He’d better not step a foot out of line.”

  “But Jax says Ebony foretold it all, so it should be okay, right?” I said.

  “Ebony’s premonitions do come true but as we know the path to true love doesn’t always run smooth. Does it, Kim?”

  “Pack. War.” Is all Kim replied.

  Of course. The war my best friend helped win was about a rival werewolf trying to steal Kim from Darius.

  “Well, I’m still waiting to see how she deals with the fact his dick makes a cocktail sausage look like a python.” Lucy added, causing at least three women around the table to splutter coffee out of their mouth.

  “Here’s my dress.” Jax appeared at the side of us again, and my mum gave everyone a warning look.

  “Oh, it’s beautiful.” Mum stroked the fabric.

  “All your daughter’s idea.”

  “Hey, I was there.” Alyssa said.

  “Yes, you charged my credit card beautifully.” Jax added kindly. She really was lovely inside and out.

  And that’s when I realised what my first little mission could be. I could make sure that Jax and Tristan did end up happily ever after. I’d be a bit like mum. She became a matchmaker before she became a badass and they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, right? I’d make sure to follow them around and be ready to step in if Tristan fucked up. He didn’t exactly have a reputation for being the nicest guy on earth. So far, he’d proved himself to be nothing but an asshole.

  So yes, it would be my job to ensure the path of true love ran smooth. Someone had to do it and it wasn’t going to be the lazy cupid who had actually nodded off at the table.

  “Samara.” I shouted in her ear. She jumped a foot in the air which I found hugely satisfying.

  “I really must ensure we actually get some sleep when we go to bed at night.” She said.

  The conversation moved on to Polly and Drake and what could be done to ensure their love conquered all.


  “Beached are always looking for new specials. Shall I send a demon to source a side of merman?” Lucy asked.

  “Lucy, are you sure you’re not a devil anymore?” Kim studied her closely.

  “Nope. I swapped forking for f-”

  “Lucy! There are teenagers present.”

  “Oh, my dear, Shelley, you should have seen what some of those teenagers I encountered in Hell had got up to.”

  “Ooh, like what?” Alyssa asked.

  “Seducing old men and then blackmailing them into changing their wills. Then changing their heart medication for tic tacs. That sort of thing.”

  “Ugh, I’d rather be broke than have to bonk an old man. Someone in their early twenties like Sir Loins is my limit.” Alyssa said, once again staring at Bartholomew.

  “Are you declaring anyone over the age of around twenty-five is ancient?” Lucy said in a voice that sent chills down my spine. I gave Alyssa a warning look.

  “Only in my ideal man, not in general.” She uttered quickly.

  “This is a really interesting conversation. Actually, that’s a lie, you are boring my newly lactating tits off. Can we get back to discussing what we can do to help Polly and Drake?” Kim finished her doughnut and then swiped Lucy’s yet untouched one from her plate and started on that.

  “Why not put Grandad in charge of the sea?” I asked my mum.

  “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. He’s had to give up his role as King, maybe he’d like to be a Duke? I’ll ask him if he’s up for it if I can’t find another solution.”

  “The trouble with you lot is you never think outside the box,” said Lucy. “You have to take their vanity, their weaknesses, and exploit them. If you do that, you win.”

  “Care to expand on that, Luce, cos it just sounds like cryptic crap from here?”

  “The only crap you need to think of is your constipated future after stuffing your pregnant body with my doughnut. It might not be the only iced ring in your future. Piles are such a bother I hear.”

  “So, I think of the Duke’s weaknesses and play to them? He’s power hungry. He wants his son wed to a nereid because it could expand his empire.” Mum replied.