False Colours

by Georgette Heyer

  This was rather too much for even the most devoted twin to accept with complaisance. ‘Stubble it!’ commanded Kit wrathfully. ‘If you don’t stop talking as if you’d rats in your upper storey, Eve, I’ll go back to Vienna tomorrow, and leave you to get yourself out of this hobble as best you may!’

  ‘Kester!’ exclaimed Evelyn, in accents of deep reproach.

  Kit’s lips quivered, but he said sternly: ‘Cut line!’

  Evelyn laughed. ‘Well, she seemed to vanish! She went away to fetch Mrs Askham back into the room. She had been set to watch me, you see – they never left me alone until I came to myself, and Nurse had gone off to her dinner, and Mrs Askham had been called away, which was why Patience was there. After that, I only saw her when she brought up a glass of milk for me, or some such thing, and then only for a moment, and never alone, of course, for Mrs Askham guards her strictly, until that curst sawbones – no, I don’t mean that! He was a famous fellow! – until I was allowed to leave my bed. James – Mrs Askham’s man-servant – was used to help me dress, and to support me downstairs, for I was as weak as a cat for days! Fit for nothing but to lie on a sofa, which they carried into the garden for me, and to watch the children at their play!’

  ‘Also to talk to the angel, I collect!’ said Kit dryly. ‘Is she a daughter of the Askhams?’

  ‘The eldest daughter. Yes, then I was able to talk to her, but always – always with Mrs Askham there, or Nurse, or the children! It didn’t signify – they were right to guard her! And though I knew, the instant I clapped eyes on her, that it was bellows to mend with me, she is so – so divinely innocent, Kester, I couldn’t suppose that she felt the same! They might have left us alone for hours: I – I wouldn’t have said a word to her that might have startled her! She’s such a shy little bird – no, not shy, precisely! So open, and confiding! So unaffected, so –’

  ‘Innocent,’ supplied Kit, as his besotted twin hesitated for a word.

  ‘Yes,’ agreed Evelyn. ‘Did you – did you ever meet a girl, Kester, who made you feel that – that the only thing you wanted to do in life was to protect her – shield her from so much as a draught?’

  ‘No,’ replied Kit. He added tactfully: ‘Not yet!’

  ‘I hope you may!’ Evelyn said, in all sincerity. The next instant, he frowned, and shook his head. ‘No, I don’t! Not in your style!’

  ‘It doesn’t sound to me as if she was quite in yours,’ Kit ventured to suggest.

  A brilliant smile answered him. ‘I didn’t know, until I saw Patience, what was my style! How could I? I never met a girl that even faintly resembled her!’

  There did not seem to be anything to be said in reply to this. Kit merely asked: ‘Are the Askhams still labouring under the impression that you are Mr Evelyn?’

  ‘No. Before I came away, I made a clean breast of it to Mr Askham. I told him about that damned Trust, and – and how I had meant to bring it to an end – Oh, not why, of course! – and – well, all of it, except what concerned Mama! I daresay it may seem odd to you that I should do so, but you won’t think it when you’ve met him, Kester! He is a man of strong principle, and considerable pride, but he wants neither sense nor feeling, and one can talk to him, as if he were – I was about to say one’s father, but the lord knows we could never talk anything but commonplace to Papa, could we? He was very much surprised, of course, and he didn’t like it above half, but in the end I managed to get him to say that although he must forbid me to say anything to Patience, until I’d settled my affairs, and that neither he nor Mrs Askham had ever wished Patience to make an unequal marriage – such stuff! – he wouldn’t forbid me to come to the house again, if I was seriously attached to Patience, and if he believed her affections to be engaged also. I couldn’t hope for more, and I think Mrs Askham will stand my friend – though she gave me the devil of a scold! I would have left Woodland House then – thinking it was what I ought to do, besides knowing I must see you as soon as possible – but Mrs Askham wouldn’t hear of it, because the doctor came to see me that day, and told her to keep me quiet for another day or two.’

  ‘Oh, so you knew I was here, did you?’

  ‘Good God, Kester!’ exclaimed Evelyn. ‘You may be the clever twin, but you haven’t all the wits in the family! Of course I knew it, the instant I saw that thing in the Morning Post! If old Lady Stavely and Cressida had gone to stay with Lord Denville at Ravenhurst, it was as plain as anything could be that you’d come home, and had stepped into my shoes!’ His voice changed suddenly, with his mood. ‘I know why you did it. Only to get me out of a scrape! You couldn’t have done anything else – but O God, I wish you hadn’t! It was bad enough before, but I could have gone to Cressy – told her the truth – then! There was never any pretence between us, and she has a great deal of sense – not one of your simpering die-aways! But now, when she’s been staying at Ravenhurst, and that curst newspaper has set everyone’s ears acock – ! And even if that hadn’t happened, there is still Mama to be considered! Kester, what am I to do?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Kit frankly. ‘But I can relieve your mind of one thing! I’ve played you false, Eve! I am going to marry Cressy!’

  Evelyn had sunk his brow on to his clenched fist, but at these words he raised his head, staring at Kit, as if he could scarcely believe his ears. ‘You are going – Does she know, then? That you’re not me?’

  ‘Yes, of course she does. She has known for longer than I guessed. And let me tell you, my lord, that when I took your place at the dinner-party you skirted she had very nearly made up her mind to refuse your very obliging offer! For all your lordship’s charm and address! You can’t think how set up I am in my own esteem to know that one person prefers me to my engaging brother!’

  ‘I said she had a great deal of sense!’ retorted Evelyn, laughing at him. ‘I could tell you of some others who share her preference, but you’re much too puffed-up already, so I shan’t. But, Kester, no more funning! You mean it?’

  ‘Well, of course I mean it, you gapeseed!’

  Evelyn seemed to be thinking it over. He said slowly: ‘Yes, Cressy is your style, isn’t she? Oh, twin, I do wish you happy, and I see that you will suit! She’s a most agreeable girl: I like her very well myself – though I can’t conceive how you should fall in love with her!’

  Kit opened his mouth to make the obvious retort, but shut it again. He had never before hesitated to speak his mind to Evelyn, but he perceived that their relationship had undergone a subtle change. The bond between them was as strong as ever, but there were some thoughts they would no longer give utterance to. So all he said was: ‘Very likely not. But don’t fly into alt too soon, Eve! We may have unravelled one knot in this tangle, but it seems to me that we are still in pretty bad loaf. I know you wouldn’t have offered for Cressy if you hadn’t thought the case desperate. What I don’t know is how desperate it is. To what tune is Mama down the wind?’

  The cloud descended again on to Evelyn’s brow. He replied curtly: ‘About £20,000 – as near as I can discover.’

  There was a frozen silence. Then Kit got up, and went to pick up the decanter. ‘I think, Eve,’ he said carefully, ‘that we had best have a little more cognac!’

  Fifteen

  Evelyn picked up his glass, and held it out. ‘I daresay you need it more than I do,’ he observed, ‘I shouldn’t have thrown the total at you like that.’

  ‘For how long have you known?’

  ‘Oh, some time now! Not all at once, however. I don’t know that I have the total sum yet, but I think it isn’t more than that.’

  ‘How much of it is owed to tradesmen?’

  ‘The least part – though there’s a pretty staggering amount owing to Rundell & Bridge, and there’s no saying what she may owe her dressmaker. Rundell & Bridge don’t dun her: they’re far too long-headed! I should think they must have been jewelle
rs to the Earls of Denville ever since they set up their sign, wouldn’t you? And I shouldn’t wonder at it if they have a pretty shrewd notion that if Mama don’t pay them now, I shall, later! I can’t tell about Céleste: you see, Kester, poor Mama don’t understand! The ready just – just slides through her fingers! She don’t know where it goes to, and I’m damned if I do! You never know what she may do next, either! I suppose we always knew that she was in debt, but it wasn’t until some time after my father died that I discovered how far she’d run into Dun territory, or that she’s been borrowing money for years!’ He laughed, but not very mirthfully. ‘Poor darling! If you gave her a century tomorrow, because she was all to pieces, and being dunned by the harpy who designs her hats, the chances are she’d give it away to one of her indigent old friends! And even if she does settle the most pressing of her debts with the money she’s borrowed, she don’t see – and you can’t make her! – that she’s no more in the clear than she was before! You might not know this – I didn’t, until a year or two ago, and there’s not another soul on earth I’d tell it to.’

  ‘Of course not.’ Kit stood frowning down at the glass cupped between his hands. ‘I didn’t know, but I’ve learnt a good deal since I stepped into your shoes. By the way, Eve, my feet are bigger than yours, so I didn’t step into your shoes!’

  ‘Thank God for that, clodcrusher!’

  Kit smiled, rather abstractedly. He said, after a slight pause: ‘Does it ever occur to you that it was a case, rather, of Poor Papa?’

  ‘No!’

  The word was uttered explosively. Kit glanced up quickly, and saw in Evelyn’s eyes an expression of implacable hatred, which startled him. ‘Well, don’t eat me!’ he said lightly. ‘I only meant –’

  ‘I know what you meant! And it doesn’t occur to me! Nor would it occur to you, if you knew all I learned from Mama when this – this business first crashed upon me! She was seventeen when my father married her! As innocent as Patience, but not reared as Patience was! What she told me about that household – ! All Grandmother Baverstock ever cared for was that her daughters should be taught accomplishments, so that they might make good marriages! As for economy, Cosmo is the only Cliffe I ever heard of who knows how to hold household! My father – years older than she was! – fancied himself to be in love with her! Love? He was dazzled by her face, and her captivating ways, and had no more love for her than I have for Cressida Stavely! That was soon over! Everything in Mama which makes her so lovable he disliked! Cold, selfish – ! Kester, he drove her off – pokered up when she showed her affection, in that impulsive way she has! It was not the thing for Lady Denville to allow the world to suspect she had a heart! Can you wonder at it that she turned from him, let herself be drawn into – Well, never mind! You don’t understand that, Kester, but I do, and I tell you that whatever sins or follies Mama has committed are to be laid at my father’s door!’

  ‘Take a damper!’ Kit advised him. ‘I’m entirely at one with you in believing that Papa was grossly to blame; but dearly as I love Mama I can see how maddening she must have been to a man of his cut! You think he could have taught her to hold household: you may be right, but I doubt it. Now, don’t fly up into the boughs again! None of that signifies today: it’s past mending. What we have to do, Eve, is to find a way to tow her off Point Non-Plus now. I know she stands in Edgbaston’s debt, and in Child’s. Anyone else?’

  ‘Yes, several people’s – including Ripple!’

  ‘Well, he isn’t dunning her, at all events,’ said Kit thoughtfully.

  Evelyn’s angry flush had faded, but it surged up again. ‘What difference does that make? Are you suggesting that I should permit Mama to remain in debt to him? Or anyone else! Would you be content to turn a blind eye to such obligations?’

  ‘No,’ confessed Kit. ‘They must all be paid, of course, but not all immediately. It’s the devil of a sum to raise, Eve!’

  ‘Fiddle! I could do it in the twinkling of a bedpost, if I could but persuade my uncle to wind up the Trust!’

  Kit shook his head. ‘You must know he won’t. He’s not going to like this proposed marriage of yours.’

  ‘Then he should! He’s been preaching sobriety to me from the day my father died! If I would become less volatile he would gladly wind up the Trust! If he wasn’t cutting a sham – and I acquit him of that! – he should welcome my marriage to such a girl as Patience!’

  ‘Unfortunately,’ said Kit, grimacing, ‘he is enthusiastically welcoming your marriage to Cressy. You had a letter from him this morning. I’ll give it to you.’

  ‘I don’t want it. Does he imagine that with my heart given to Patience marriage to Cressy would make me less volatile?’

  Kit looked a little quizzically at him. ‘What he will imagine, Eve, is that you’re as volatile as ever you were, and will soon have formed a lasting passion for another lady!’

  ‘He’ll discover his mistake! I don’t deny I’ve fancied myself in love a dozen times, or that I didn’t think even the liveliest of my flirts a dead bore, after a few weeks of dangling about her! To own the truth, when I offered for Cressy, I’d reached the conclusion that I was volatile! Hence Clara – and several other bits of muslin! Then I met Patience, and knew that I had never been in love before. She’s not dashing, or lively, or full of fun and wit, and I daresay you might not consider her to be as beautiful as some others I could name. But I have been constantly in her company, and the very notion that I could think her a dead bore is so absurd – so fantastic – Oh, I can’t explain it to you, Kester!’

  ‘Listen, Eve!’ Kit said. ‘You needn’t explain it to me! I know, and if I didn’t it would make no odds! All that concerns us is the light in which my uncle will look upon the marriage. There’s never been any hiding of teeth between us, so I’ll tell you without roundaboutation that my uncle will be at one with Askham in thinking it a most unequal match. Which, from what you’ve told me, I collect that it is, if one looks at it from a worldly point of view.’

  ‘Dash it, Kester, I haven’t fallen in love with the daughter of a Cit, or a mere smatterer. Her birth may not be noble, but it is as respectable as my own! The Askhams are not fashionable, but they are well-connected, so if you are picturing to yourself a family of – of dowdy provincials, you’re fair and far off! Askham is a man of culture, his wife a most superior woman, and Patience herself as much beyond my touch as any star in the sky! As for fortune, my uncle has said himself it’s unimportant!’

  Kit, well aware that his twin was placing too liberal a construction on Lord Brumby’s words, asked bluntly: ‘What is her fortune?’

  Evelyn flushed. ‘She has none! Oh, that’s to say none that my uncle would consider worth the mention! Askham is not affluent. You may say that he was born to an independence! I should describe his circumstances as comfortable rather than handsome, and his family is large. He told me frankly that he could not dower Patience with anything more than a sum that would seem paltry to me; and I told him, as frankly, that I’m not hanging out for an heiress, and should think myself fortunate to win Patience if she hadn’t as much as a grig to call her own!’

  ‘I daresay! But if you think to make a hand of it by telling all that to my uncle it must be midsummer moon with you! Good God, his notion of what is due to your consequence is as top-lofty as ever Papa’s was, and pretty near as stiff-rumped!’

  ‘Damn my consequence! When I think that if it were not so imperative for me to get possession of my fortune I shouldn’t care a straw for my uncle’s opinion – But it is imperative!’

  ‘I’ve been thinking about that,’ said Kit. ‘Not in Dun territory on your own account, are you?’

  ‘Of course I’m not! However volatile I may be!’ Evelyn snapped.

  ‘Then it’s merely a question of Mama’s debts, and I think –’

  He was interrupted by a sudden crack of laughter from his twin. �
�The word I like is merely!’ Evelyn told him.

  ‘– and I think,’ repeated Kit, ‘that the best way out of the difficulty is for me to settle them.’

  There was a moment’s astonished silence before Evelyn demanded: ‘Have you run mad, Kester? You can’t surely be bosky after a couple of brandies!’

  ‘Neither mad nor bosky. It hadn’t occurred to me until a minute ago, and I fancy it didn’t occur to you either: we’ve been forgetting that legacy of mine, Eve!’ He walked across the room to set down his glass, and came back to the day-bed. ‘I haven’t been able to go into things with the lawyers yet, but I collect the stocks ought to realize something in the neighbourhood of £20,000. There are no strings tied to the bequest, so –’

  ‘So that makes everything as right as a ram’s horn! I wonder that I shouldn’t have thought of it myself. We’ll call it a wedding-present, shall we?’

  Kit grinned, but said: ‘Now, don’t be a gudgeon, twin! If you�–’

  ‘I a gudgeon?’ gasped Evelyn. ‘Well, if that don’t beat the Dutch!’

  ‘Gammon! I’ve as much right as you to rescue Mama!’

  ‘You haven’t, and you know it! The obligation was my father’s, and it has descended to me! Try playing off your tricks�on someone who ain’t your twin, you unconscionable humbug!’

  ‘Call it a loan!’ suggested Kit. ‘It was only a windfall, remember! My father left me very well provided for, and I don’t stand in need of it. You can pay it back to me when you’re thirty, after all!’

  ‘Oh, do stop talking such slum, Kester!’ begged Evelyn. ‘You might just as well, for there’s no power on earth that would make me consent to such a scheme! Would you consent to it, if our positions were reversed?’

  ‘No, I don’t suppose I should,’ Kit admitted.

  ‘Well, I know you wouldn’t!’ Evelyn got up. ‘I must be off, or poor old Pinny won’t get a wink of sleep: she means to undress me! Kester, could you spare me Challow tomorrow? I want him to drive me to Brighton. I didn’t see Silverdale, you know, and I must. He’s got a damned mischief-making tongue, and if he were to discover the truth about that brooch it would be all over London within a sennight.’