Batty Blend
A Paramour Bay Mystery
Book Thirteen
KENNEDY LAYNE
BATTY BLEND
Copyright © 2020 by Kennedy Layne
Kindle Edition
Cover Designer: Sweet ’N Spicy Designs
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
Dedication
Jeffrey—I think we need to have a bat house in the backyard!
Cole—Life might get a bit batty at times, but always remember to laugh!
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
About the Book
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
About Pumpkin Blend
Books by Kennedy Layne
About the Author
Whimsical bats aren’t the only thing vanishing into thin air in the next whacky whodunit of the Paramour Bay Mysteries by USA Today Bestselling Author Kennedy Layne…
Summertime is drawing to an end and taking with it the humidity, hay fever, and annoying mosquitos that couldn’t seem to quench their thirst this past season. Unfortunately, the insects aren’t the only thing biting in the quaint, coastal town of Paramour Bay, Connecticut!
Raven Marigold is getting ready to host a blow-out end of summer sale to clear out her inventory at the teashop when word starts circulating that some of the furry critters escaped the local pet shop…including a rescued, hairy-legged vampire bat who is looking for his forever home. Raven and her familiar set out to discover if the missing bat is in anyway related to the mysterious visiting vampire they have yet to identify, but they soon learn that there is more to the mystery than meets the eye!
Grab your wooden stakes and garlic necklaces for this quirky tale of unmasking a vampiric threat that might be closer than you think!
Chapter One
There was something inherently special about the early mornings of a quaint town such as Paramour Bay, Connecticut. Even with summer drawing to an end, the coastal breeze weaving out front of the charming storefronts brought refreshing promises of grand adventures and new beginnings. No one who enjoyed the blissful sunrise today could deny the old adage that hope springs eternal.
“My life might as well be over.”
Apparently, my best friend hadn’t caught sight of the same magnificent sunrise that I had this morning. I shot her a commiserating glance of understanding, but I remained optimistic that not all was lost.
Sort of.
While I was a big believer that there wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed without the proper motivation, this particular situation had me a bit flummoxed.
“Heidi, it was a simple mistake,” I replied as confidently as I could while I finished arranging the end-of-summer sale items on the long table that I’d set up in the middle of Tea, Leaves, & Eves. The pretty daisies that I’d peppered throughout the various items gave it that special touch. Stepping back to view my work, I gave myself a nod of approval. “I’m sure that it’s nothing a romantic candlelight dinner can’t fix.”
“Raven, I covered myself in garlic powder while wearing a fake neck brace and all but accused the man who I’ve been seeing of being a vampire.” Heidi groaned in misery over her current predicament, letting her forehead land with a thud against the back of her hands. She was slumped over the teashop’s checkout counter in defeat. “I’m lucky that he didn’t have me locked up on some involuntary seventy-two-hour hold in the county mental health facility. You know that he has that capability, given that he’s a state police detective and all. I mean, who could blame him? I sounded like a complete lunatic.”
“I can’t deny that you could have gone about discovering whether or not what we suspected was true in a more diplomatic way, but you’re more of a jump into the deep end of the pool kind of woman.” I was actually being very kind, because Heidi was one of those women who had no fear. Absolutely none. Well, except when it came to grim reapers and undead creatures of the night. Those fears were completely rational, though. “I promise that things will work out with Jack. He’ll come around. We just need to come up with a believable story before next weekend as to why you were covered in garlic powder. You could always say it was one big elaborate practical joke.”
“I even wore a neck brace,” Heidi muttered, her words barely audible since she was still face down on the counter. “Did I mention that I might have had a cross or two sewn onto my shirt?”
I’ll admit that Heidi’s declaration of crosses might add to our difficulty in fixing things. I hadn’t thought our itsy-bitsy problem could get worse. Thinking back, I was pretty sure that those holy items hadn’t been part of our original plan to find out if Jack Swanson was indeed an actual vampire.
Technically, we’d originally established a somewhat more subtle approach to discover the truth.
Heidi had been supposed to go ever so slowly in order to eliminate or prove one detail at a time. Surely the belief that vampires couldn’t walk in direct sunlight held a bit a truth. We’d all seen Jack do so on numerous occasions. The red beverage in his refrigerator could very well be some health juice or some such thing, and his aversion to garlic could simply be an allergy.
Our rational series of plans had been thrown out with all the mirrors that Heidi most likely had hung on her walls, because all she could think about were two fangs sinking into her neck. Her anxiety had snowballed into a full-blown panic attack right before Jack had arrived at her home last night.
On the bright side, we at least had proof that Jack wasn’t a vampire. He was allergic to garlic, the red juice in the fridge was a protein supplement, he had a rather handsome reflection in all those mirrors, and the crosses had done nothing but put a few nails in the heart of Heidi’s relationship.
I still stayed firm in my belief that we could salvage their relationship.
“You’re a witch, Raven. Can’t you undo all this?”
“Heidi, you know the rules,” I warned, checking the time on the old white and black clock above her head to make sure that I still had a few minutes before I needed to flip over the open sign. “There is a cost to magic, and I can’t use it for my own gain without incurring serious consequences. I could end up making Jack your worst enemy.”
Not that the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but I had a tendency to invite karma into my life at the most inopportune times…and not always the good kind of karma, either.
“It’s not for you. It’s for me. Get with the program,” Heidi muttered in irritation. She finally lifted her head, revealing a miserable expression that warned me of a long week ahead. “That should count for something, right? Helping a friend?”
Being a witch came with a lot of responsibility, especially when I didn’t belong to a coven. I only had myself and my familiar to hold me accountable.
Oh, and my mother.<
br />
Considering that I’d only learned of my abilities less than two years ago and had only just managed to not burn down the entire town, I’d say that I was doing pretty good on the average.
“Grab some of the coffee that I just made and get to work,” I advised, knowing that it was always better when Heidi had something to keep herself occupied with. It was the end of the third quarter for taxes, and she had a lot of preparations to do for her clients going into year end. “I know you own your own accounting firm, but it’s still good for the boss to show up on time. You may have a client waiting. I promise you that we will figure something out to smooth things over with Jack the next time you see him.”
I walked over to the sample tables that I’d set up, taking it upon myself to pour Heidi a disposable cup of coffee. She’d made no move to hop down from the stool behind the check-out counter, but it was best that the patrons not see her in this state.
No one wanted to witness a distraught woman sitting behind the counter when they came to buy their tea or specialty coffee. It would be all over town before lunchtime that she was having trouble in her love life. That is, if the wrong couple of ladies showed up and observed the misery written across Heidi’s pretty features.
“I don’t even have an assistant yet,” Heidi countered in agitation, clearly not agreeing with me about giving herself something to do. “Maybe I should call him.”
“No. Bad idea.”
I snapped the white plastic lid on the disposable cup and walked over to where she’d dumped her purse onto the floor. Heidi was into fashion, so I had no doubt that the red leather purse cost more than my entire outfit. The fact that she didn’t care about the pristine butter-soft leather right now told me just how truly stressed she was over her current plight.
“You’re not calling Jack until we figure out a solid plan on how we’re going to deal with this whole affair,” I told her, adamant that the couple needed a few days apart. The garlic powder incident had just occurred yesterday, so they had time to come up with an excuse as to why she’d been spouting on and on about vampire legends. They were all just lucky that Jack had only suffered swollen lips and not gone into anaphylactic shock. Looking like a blowfish was way more preferable than death. “Go to your office, get lost in those numbers you like so much, and then come get me for lunch. I’ll need a break after the morning rush, anyway.”
The teashop was hosting a major summer inventory sale to make room for some of the fall preferred blends. Pumpkin Spice, Pumpkin Crème, and Pumpkin Chai were among the favorites of the locals. I’d already placed the large and costly order in preparation of the upcoming season, so any funds that came from today’s sale would thankfully be deferred for winter’s beloved holiday flavors.
I wasn’t going to let Heidi know about my mid-morning plans, but I was somewhat panicking over her situation. Truth be told, I hadn’t slept a wink last night. Seeing as I was a horrible liar, I’d covered my own anxiety with the stress of today’s sale. Heidi was so overwrought about Jack that she hadn’t even noticed my telltale signs of impending terror.
“Fine,” Heidi finally agreed much to my relief. She slung her purse over her shoulder before taking her coffee and heading for the door. “I still say that casting some sort of spell so that Jack forgets everything that happened last night would be more for his benefit than ours. Just think about it from that perspective.”
I breathed a sigh of relief when Heidi finally left the teashop, but there was no rest for the wicked. Not that I considered myself a wicked witch or anything. Quite the opposite. I was actually referring to my mother—Regina Lattice Marigold.
My name was Raven Lattice Marigold.
All of the women in our lineage had a first name that began with the letter R, though I wasn’t sure when or why the tradition had started. My mother had actually kept the truth of our abilities from me for my first thirty years.
Not that I held a grudge or anything.
Not at all.
Let’s just say that our relationship had its ups and downs, especially seeing as how she tried systemically to rob me of our family legacy time and again.
Anyway, it wasn’t until my grandmother’s death that I learned the truth…the hard way.
Thinking back, it was a wonder that I hadn’t been carted off in the white strait jacket that Heidi had referenced a few moments ago. Talking cats, magical blends, and a ghost here or there had a tendency to make one think that I was completely insane.
I’d come a long way since then, though.
I’d grown into my own powers, I’d inherited the cutest cottage on the edge of town, and I’d met the love of my life in the man who happened to be the town’s sheriff.
Did I mention that he was extremely handsome?
Is there a reason why I’m always last on that list?
That sarcastic voice belonged to Leo, my one and only inherited feline familiar.
Leo had technically been my Nan’s familiar originally, but the infamous Rosemary Lattice Marigold had kinda, sorta, mighta used a necromancy spell to keep him around for me after her death. As everyone knew, those types of incantations could have some pretty severe, negative consequences.
I’ll have you know that I just confirmed from the most recent volume of GQ that scruff is still in style. I have a monthly digital subscription, which reminds me to let you know that your keyboard needs to be replaced soon. My nails wear down the keys. Anyway, I still check the latest trends every now and then, not that I’m insecure or anything. I’ve embraced my rugged looks, even my love handles. Cats make for engaging pets, and mental awareness of body language is promoted by having a feline in your home. Not saying it’s so, but there was an article in last month’s issue by a very renowned doctor of sociology.
The love handles that Leo was referring to were a bit more than pronounced, considering his weight was almost twice that of a regular domestic feline. He casually sauntered across the middle of the shop toward his cat bed, though his backend wiggled more than strutted with each step. His black and orange fur had various-sized tufts sticking out every which way, his whiskers were extremely crooked, and his tail was bent at an odd angle to the point that it resembled a hanger that had been used as a radio antenna on a junk car.
Oh, and his left eye bulged out more than the right. More so when he was excited.
Most of the residents in town had no idea that he was the same cat that my Nan used to own, and they all assumed that he was some rescue that I’d brought with me from New York City. Trust me, there were times that I wanted to ship him there to give myself a week’s vacation.
“Leo, you’re not last on the list,” I reassured him, but the swish of his bent tail told me that he’d heard my thoughts about the cost of postage and a possible vacation. “I promise.”
I breathed a sigh of relief that I still had around four minutes of peace before opening up the shop for the day. Leo had been out for his morning scouting session in search of some of the neighborhood squirrels. His annual battle with them hadn’t quite gone as planned, but the lull in the action was actually beneficial to me.
Lull? It’s more of a complete standstill. You don’t think it’s odd that there hasn’t been one sighting of Skippy in days? Sure, some of his minions are out and about in the park, but he’s nowhere to be found. He’s playing it smart and trying to outfox me. Well, that’s not going to happen in my town! His band of ninja squirrels can’t hide him forever!
I blocked my train of thought on where Skippy might actually be so that Leo didn’t accidentally overhear what was rumbling around in my head. I sure hoped that Skippy hadn’t had an appointment with the local grim reaper. Leo might complain and stress over an impending squirrelpocalypse, but he was actually rather fond of his chief opponent.
I’m not sure how he would handle the death of his so-called nemesis.
I would somehow try and figure out where Skippy had gone to while I sent Leo on an important errand…and one he wasn’t going t
o like in the least.
“Heidi really messed up with Jack last night, Leo. While we were all pretty suspicious that he might be the visiting vampire whose identity still remains unknown, she deviated from the agreed upon plan. There’s got to be a way to make him believe it was all some sort of horrible joke that went off the rails.”
Why would we do that?
This was where getting Leo to do what I needed him to do was going to get a bit tricky.
That oaf of a detective is finally out of the picture. It’s my time to shine, Raven. It’s why I came back early from my hunt—I mean, walk. I’m in need of my beauty sleep. Numerous and frequent naps are known to keep a feline’s fur healthy and shiny. Well, it actually might be due to my premium organic edible catnip treats. I suppose I should have a couple just to be sure.
“What we need is for you to go and find Mom.”
I should have timed my request a bit better.
Leo had been about to jump up into his cat bed that was positioned just inside the display window before I spoke. Let’s just say that he didn’t quite make the jump and ended up banging his chin on the wooden ledge before landing in a heap on the floor.
I hate you.
“I’m serious, Leo,” I insisted before he could catch his breath and launch into a long-winded speech about what a terrible idea it was to involve my mother.
Theoretically speaking, he was right.
Unfortunately, she was our best option.
“Heidi’s heart is crushed, Jack might suspect that she’s on drugs or something worse, and we risk being found out by another human.”
Need I remind you that you were, in fact, the one to tell the other two? The good ol’ sheriff and Heidi would have been completely fine with their heads stuck in the sand. I’m not a fan of the coven after they excommunicated my beloved Rosemary after she fraternized with a human, but even I can see the value of such rule. Then again, it might be my deep-seated fear of being turned into a toad that causes me apprehension. Speaking of things with warts…my answer is no. We’re not bringing your mother in on my beloved Heidi’s love life. I’m not giving up my chance to comfort her in her time of need. She deserves someone like me.
Batty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 13) Page 1