by T. S. Joyce
He was exhausted down to his bones, frozen straight through, every muscle sore from the Change, and his skin felt raw and burned, but he still had some work to do.
When he made his way to the porch, she was holding out her arms with the corners of the blanket hooked in her hands.
He slipped right into her hug and allowed her to wrap the warm fabric around his shoulders. She was so warm and smelled like herbs. “Have you been mixing something up?” he asked. He’d built her a greenhouse where she could grow and dry plants to make the old salves she remembered from her mother.
“Something to heal our skin faster. That was a rough Change.”
Vyr eased back and tugged at the V-neck of her sweater. Her skin was pink, and she winced when he touched her. “I’ve never dragged you through one before. Never kept you in my mind when it happened. I couldn’t—”
“You couldn’t help it.” She leaned up and kissed him so sweetly he tugged her closer. “You did good. I watched the news but didn’t see any footage of you burning any towns.”
“I didn’t burn anything. Didn’t feel like it. I just wanted to be in the sky for a while. Riyah?”
Yes? she asked in his mind.
He smiled and hugged her tenderly so he wouldn’t hurt her skin. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I saw how it was for you, in your mind. You lost your parents, and you were hurt for a long time over it, but I saw it. I felt it. You’ve never felt more abandoned than you did these last six months. And it was me, the one who loves you the most, who made you feel alone. None of it was your fault, you know?
It was.
No. His denial was so stern she couldn’t argue if she tried. You grew our babies so well. You took care of them in every way you could. Their little dragons were just too strong. Too impatient. It isn’t anyone’s fault. Not yours and not theirs.
And not yours.
Vyr sighed and eased back, just far enough to cup her cheeks and look her into her eyes. “That part I’m going to try and accept because blaming myself for what happened isn’t helping anything.”
“Just love them, Vyr. Love them for those beautiful moments you felt them moving in my belly. That’s all the time we were allowed to have with them.” Riyah’s breath hitched, and she ducked her gaze, lowered her chin to her chest. And when he eased her face back up, her eyes were rimmed with tears. She tried to smile anyway, tough mate. Beautiful badass.
“I’ll do better. And I’ll go with you to visit them now. I’ll sit with you on that bench and talk to them with you. I saw it in your head. All the times you told them about the things you love most about their father. About me. Even when I didn’t deserve for you to say anything nice. I’ll replant your orchard, not just for you, but for them, too. And I’ll apologize to Grim. I’ll hate every second of it, but if you think that’ll help Torren and Nox, then I’ll do it.”
“Really?”
“Grim made this Christmas wish to be a better Alpha, and it replays over and over in my head. He’s broken, but he still has the drive to take care of his people. This year was the hardest on me, but maybe I could make a wish for next year. Maybe I can wish to be a better Alpha, too.”
Riyah parted her pretty lips to say something, but her face was confiscated by a frown and the words stayed lodged in her throat as she stared at something behind him.
When he turned, Nox was headed this way, humming a song around a beef jerky stick, dragging what looked like a horse saddle with an extremely long cinch strap trailing behind him through the snow.
He looked up at Vyr and stopped in his tracks, his eyes round. Just buckled his legs and skidded to a stop. “Uuuuh, you’re back early.”
“What the fuck is that?” Vyr asked.
“What’s what?” Nox answered innocently.
Vyr counted to three in his head so he wouldn’t cuss ob-Nox-ious out. “The saddle you are holding in front of you.”
Nox looked down like he’d never seen before in his life the thing he clenched in his hands. “Oh. This thing. Weeeeell…it’s a saddle.”
“For?”
“For our flight.”
Vyr pursed his lips. Maybe he should just burn him and eat him. Just a little burning and eating. Just a little.
“Is that a dragon saddle?” Riyah asked, pointing to the cinch that was trailing in the snow yards behind Nox.
He looked behind him and said, “So, what of it? Maybe I spent three weeks making a custom dragon saddle. I think I should be the first one to ride the Red Dragon because I’m his best friend—”
“Torren is my best friend—”
“Torren barely likes you right now and, besides, I can watch your back and like…throw water balloons at people who try to take video of you, and steer you, and keep you from setting everything on fire.” The words tumbled over each other as he blurted them out without taking a single breath.
Apparently Nox had been thinking about this a lot.
Vyr stood frozen for a four-count and then said, “I simply can’t.” He strode inside and let the swinging door close loudly behind him.
“So, is that a no to flying together to Grim’s Mountains?” Nox called.
“We’re taking a plane!” Vyr yelled.
“I never get to do anything fun!” Nox screamed. And then there was a huge thud as the saddle hit the side of the house.
He would’ve ignored the sound of giggling coming from the front porch, but those sounds belonged to Riyah. Vyr stilled by the hearth at the tinkling sound. It was music to a heart that hadn’t heard any in a long time. God, Riyah was the least fragile person he’d ever met.
She walked through the door, a laugh still curving her lips, shaking her head as she dragged the blanket in. And when she looked up to see Vyr, the corners of her eyes crinkled with her smile.
There was his Riyah.
“Come here,” he murmured.
She wasn’t slow about it. She was playful, like the old them. She bolted to him and jumped, landing in his arms, the thermos in her hand sloshing as she threw her arms around his neck. “Take me on a date in Tillamook,” she said lightly. “I hear they have a cheese factory that does tours, and they sell ice cream there and everything. I love cheese and ice cream.”
Vyr chuckled, kissed her, and then sucked on her bottom lip before he sat on the couch, taking her with him.
“If it’s going to be just me and you, no kiddos of our own, I want you to date the shit out of me and keep me nice and distracted.”
“Mmmm,” he said as she wiggled her pelvis against his erection. “Distracted how?”
“With naked parties.”
“Naked parties, cheese, and ice cream. I think I can manage that.” Anything to make you happy.
She smiled as he put the last words into her mind. And anything to make you happy, too. I love you, Vyr Daye.
I love you always, Riyah Daye.
She nodded once. “Then it’s settled. Date night. I want to go to dinner somewhere new. In Grim’s Mountains.” She nuzzled her cheek against his and admitted softly, “I think it’ll be good for us to get away from here for a little while together.”
“Agreed,” Nox muttered.
Vyr looked over Riyah’s shoulder and glared at Nox, who had somehow snuck in here, still eating his beef jerky stick as he leaned on the counter in the kitchen.
“You aren’t coming on date night.”
“That’s what she said,” Nox uttered with a snort.
Vyr considered throwing Riyah’s thermos at his face.
Riyah laughed and hugged the metal canister to her chest, then shook her head slightly. He’d forgotten she was still in his head. He was going to have to get used to it all over again, but that was okay. He didn’t want the wall between them ever again. Good or bad thoughts, he wanted to share everything with his mate.
She made him feel better. And not just like healing-from-a-cold feel better or recovering-from-a-bad-Change feel better. She made his soul feel like it could be okay again. He’d gon
e dark inside, but she was still here, still light, still sharing that good magic, that love, with him. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t worthy of it. All that mattered was that this woman loved him unconditionally and was still here, fighting right alongside him.
If she could find the grit to smile and laugh after everything she’d been through, then he had no right to keep spiraling.
For the first time in a long time, he was looking forward to traveling because, this time, it wasn’t something his dragon was forcing him to do. It was a trip with his Crew and a night out with his mate, a chance to make her feel loved, like she made him feel.
He was one lucky sonofabitch to have somehow gained the loyalty of this Crew. And even luckier still to have earned the love of the woman smiling at him like he hung the moon.
Once upon a time, in the shifter prison where they’d met, Riyah had told him, “I’ll be your star. I believe in you. I’ll wait with you while better things are coming.” And she hadn’t quit on him. Not once, not even for a moment. Her loyal heart had chosen him, and that was that. And somewhere along the way, he’d become her star, too.
The thing about being someone’s star, though…that star owed a debt. If someone believed in it that much, the least it could do was keep shining.
So here was his moment, on the day he’d visited his little dragons’ graves for the first time, on the day his Crew had come to stop him from burning the orchard, on the day he’d accepted that his mate wasn’t going anywhere, no matter how far he fell or how unrecognizable he became on his insides… This was the moment he found his grit like Riyah had done. No matter the effort it took, he was going to turn this around and bring the Red Dragon back under control.
No. More. Mountain ranges.
The world deserved for him to stop claiming them.
And his people deserved to have him home.
Chapter Eight
Nox leaned over the first-class seat and shoved a list in front of Vyr’s face. “I’ve made an itinerary for our trip.”
Riyah giggled to herself. Oh, she couldn’t wait to see what he’d added to it.
Vyr scrunched up his face as he read it aloud. “One, cheese factory. B, see Oregon’s grade-A, grass-fed moo cows. Three, kill and eat moo cows. Four, I’m a bear shifter, stop looking at the list like it’s weird. E, apologize to Remington, Juno, and Ash for being mega-dicks and trying to kill them and their mates. Six, make Nox Second in the Crew. Seven, lose Torren in the Oregon mountains somewhere because he is boring. Eight, give Nox all your beers on the flight.”
“Ow,” Nox muttered as Torren smacked him in the back of the head.
“All the drinks are free in first class, you idiot,” the grumpy silverback shifter pointed out. “And I’m not boring. I’m just sick of all of your perverted jokes today. If I hear you say ‘that’s what she said’ one more time, I’m going to break that window and shove you through it. I keep thinking if I just ignore you, you will stop trying to annoy everyone and be quiet. But no, the more we ignore you, the more obnoxious you are.”
“I’ll never give up,” Nox muttered. He turned to the passing flight attendant and smiled sweetly. “Can I have two Bud Lights?” He leaned over Vyr and Riyah’s seats again. “Why didn’t you get our seats all in a row so we could look at each other?”
“So I don’t have to look at you,” Vyr muttered, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
“Want to play I-spy?” Nox asked.
Vyr was currently giving Riyah very vivid imagery of him helping Torren throw Nox off the plane, and the smile growing on his face was a little disturbing.
Hoping to save Nox’s life, Riyah asked Nox, “Aren’t you supposed to be buckled?”
“I can’t figure out the Wi-Fi,” Nox murmured, poking at his phone. “I promised Nevada I would send her a dick pic from the plane, but it won’t let me buy service.”
“I’m sure Nevada will survive,” Vyr said without opening his eyes. Now he was imagining eating Nox whole while he was a dragon.
“Clearly, you don’t understand our dynamics. Nevada is seven levels out of my league, and the biggest thing I have going for me is my dick. I have to keep her addicted to it, even when I’m traveling, so that she never feels neglected and only thinks of me and what I can do to her body twenty-four-seven. I even manscaped.”
Riyah had turned in her seat, watching Nox through the crack between their chairs. She whispered to her mate, “You’ve never sent me a dick pic. I feel a little cheated.”
“There, I got the internet.” Nox started unsnapping the top button of his jeans like he would take the picture right then and there, but Torren slapped his hand away from his crotch and confiscated his phone. They broke out in a scuffle, but mostly were just slapping at each other like two giant, tattooed, grown-ass siblings in the back seat of a long car ride.
Riyah faced forward again. She reached for his mind. I think I want a dick pic!
The little headache that said Vyr was deep in her head started just behind her eyes. Most people didn’t like headaches, but she did. She liked being this close to Vyr.
You see my dick all the time.
But I want pictures. So I can bring it up and stare at it and miss your dick when you aren’t with me.
Vyr opened his eyes and rolled his head toward her. The fight behind Nox and Torren was getting louder, but they both were professionals at ignoring them. Seriously? Most girls don’t want dick pics.
Riyah gave him her sexiest crooked smirk. “Well, there’s your first problem, thinking I’m like other girls.”
“Oh, woman, I would never mistake you for that. You are one of a kind.” You want a dick pic? You got it. I’m gonna send it to you at some random time when you are supposed to be serious, though, so you blush and stutter and get busted with a naughty grin on your face.
Riyah giggled and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I like this game.” I’ll send you boobie pics, too.
The wicked expression on Vyr’s face vanished. “Yes, please.” You are the best wife and the best mate and have the prettiest tits in the whole world, he said loudly in his head.
And now heat was creeping into her cheeks. That was the best compliment he’d given her in a long time, so she rewarded him with touch because Vyr did better with affection now. She wrapped her arms around his stony bicep, rested her cheek against his shoulder, and smiled at the chick-flick movie he’d let her choose for them to watch together.
The rest of the flight went by fast. The boys quieted their arguing when they had beers to occupy them, and Riyah fell asleep against Vyr’s arm. When she woke, the pilot was instructing the flight attendants to prepare for landing, and then it was only another half hour before they were earthbound again.
Vyr had rented them the biggest SUV he could, thank goodness, because Torren needed space from Nox by the time they were an hour into the drive to the mountains near Tillamook, Oregon. He took up the entire third row, sat right in the middle, massive arms draped over the seats, glaring straight ahead. In the middle seat, Nox kept swatting at the back of his own neck, but that was probably because of the rumbling noise coming from Torren and his bright green gorilla eyes. Riyah tried to help by turning the music up louder to drown out the aggressive animal sounds, but their snarling ramped up even noisier. He was getting her inner polar bear all riled up, too. She was only a couple years Turned, while in the same shifter prison she’d met Vyr, and sometimes she didn’t have the best control.
“Torren,” Vyr growled, ghosting a glance at him in the rearview mirror, “if you make Riyah Change, I’m gonna burn you.”
“Need. Food,” Torren grunted in a gravelly voice. Hangry wasn’t even a big enough word for what happened to these boys when they got their hunger pangs.
So they pulled over and got lunch at a hole-in-the-wall burger joint.
“Have you let Grim know we’re coming?” she asked as they sat down with their food.
“No,” Vyr murmured. I would rather c
atch them in their natural habitat.”
“He means he would rather catch them fucking up than warning them the boss is coming so they pretend to be working like a well-oiled machine,” Nox called across the room around a giant bite of food in his mouth. He and Torren had opted to sit at a different table, as far away from Vyr as they could get.
“I’ve always respected that about you, you know?” she said softly, tearing one of her French fries into tiny pieces.
“What?” Vyr asked.
“You were never one for perfection. You prefer real. Your father reacts well when he sees professionalism, but with your mountains, you don’t put pressure on the Crews.”
“Pressure on them won’t turn these shifters to diamonds. It will just crush them,” Vyr said.
“But you recognize that. You let them improve on their own. Or not. Their future and how far they get is up to them. You just provide a safe place for them to recover.”
He was so handsome in this light. They were sitting by a big front window, and the sunshine was hitting his face just right. His bright silver eyes were made even brighter by the saturated light. The tendrils of tattoo ink that curled out from under the sleeves of his T-shirt were stark against his smooth, pale skin. The light and shadows highlighted and smudged the curves of his muscles like some charcoal drawing in a gallery. He was soooo…Vyr.
“That was the compromise I could live with,” he murmured, staring at his food. This was an admission. She could feel it. They hadn’t talked much in the last six months while they were both spiraling in their own little worlds.
“The compromise you made with the Red Dragon?”
He nodded. “I don’t have much control anymore. He wants to claim everything, but if I put a Last Chance Crew on the mountains I claim and give them a shot at recovering, I can feel like I did something good, you know?” He looked up at her with those striking silver snake eyes.
“You’re a good man, you know?”
Vyr huffed a laugh and shook his head. “Woman, you’ve been drinking.”
“Oh, please, I had one glass of wine on the plane, and that was hours ago. I know you, Vyr Daye. I know your heart. I can see inside your head whether you’re quiet and thoughtful or the dragon is raging. You never stop trying. You never have that ‘fuck it, just go burn everything’ moment. It’s not in you to quit. Torren is your guardian. And I’m your guardian. That’s what people say. But they don’t realize the real guardian of the Red Dragon. The one who does all the quiet work and saves the world every day? It’s you, Vyr. You’re a badass. And I know you get tired. I can feel it now. You’re exhausted. But I’m here. You can lean on me.”