The Daily Struggles of an Immortal

by Kurtis Eckstein

I nodded in agreement. Our little setup did seem to work really well. Everyone was satisfied at least, and I certainly couldn’t complain. What guy would? I could live without the other hassles though – like assassins stalking me.

  I sighed heavily. “So, when do you want to deal with Nick?”

  “As soon as possible. Tonight even.”

  I pulled out my phone. “Okay, I’ll send him a message and see if he wants to hang out.” I glanced up at her. “I’m going to leave it up to him though. I don’t want him to get suspicious.”

  She nodded in agreement. “That’s fine. You’re supposed to be friends after all, so it shouldn’t seem too weird, right?”

  I paused as I thought about that. “Well, usually it’s him asking me to hang out. But no, I don’t think it will seem weird.” I paused again. “But then, when should I talk to Lily?”

  Freya pulled out her phone to look at the time. “I’ll take you back to work here in a couple of hours, so you can ride home with her.”

  I sent my message to Nick. “Okay, sounds good. That’ll give me plenty of time to talk to her before tonight.” I changed subjects. “So, what do you want to do until then?”

  She hesitated as she thought about it. “Well, I’ve told you the pressing issues. Do you want to hear about anything else right now…or can it wait?”

  I blinked at her in surprise. “Yeah, it can wait. Of course.”

  “Then…” She bit her lower lip. “Can I take you to my place?”

  I smirked at her. “What? And play with me before you have to take me back to work?”

  She didn’t smile.

  “Oh.” I locked eyes with her, unexpectedly feeling nervous.

  “I want to find out what your superpower can do,” she blurted out, before quickly lowering her voice, “in bed.”

  I gawked at her. “I thought you were worried about it being dangerous,” I whispered.

  She bit her bottom lip. “For Lily.”

  “O-Oh.” I leaned back, my mind frantically considering the implications of what I could do. “Oh!” I said louder, before lowering my voice too. My hands were shaking now. “Umm. O-Okay.”

  She stood up immediately, reaching her hand out towards me. She still wasn’t smiling. Her gaze was intense.

  I reached up slowly to take it, my stomach suddenly uneasy as I considered what she was going to have me do to her with my extra appendages. This…was going to be weird.

  Super weird.

  Honestly, it wasn’t that weird. Different, but not weird.

  After we had experimental sex at her house, she reluctantly brought me back to work, promising to secure the drugs I needed to knock Nick out later that evening.

  Prior to accepting her offer to play in bed, I hadn’t considered just how well I could feel with my astral form. When I pushed a part of myself out of my body, the invisible appendages that formed were a thousand times more sensitive than even my hands. It was like they had hundreds of thousands of invisible nerves giving me details about whatever I touched that I didn’t even think possible. The details went way beyond temperature and pressure. Way beyond.

  Which meant I now felt like I knew Freya’s body a thousand times better than I knew Lily’s. And I had barely even touched her with my physical body, other than holding her in my arms.

  “So how was the conversation with Freya?” Lily asked as we rode in her car back to her place. She had it on autopilot for once, giving me her full attention.

  “Huh?” I asked, my mind completely elsewhere. Thinking about earlier. “Oh, sorry. It went well…I guess.” I paused, looking down at my fingers, trying to push aside the sensation of being inside of her even though I knew my hands had nothing to do with it. I bit my lip, hard, attempting to distract myself. Trying to forget her squeals. Her moans.

  Dammit, this was not good. She sure got over her fear of ghosts fast. “Freya told me some things she dug up about my past.” I looked back up at her. “I have a lot to tell you. Unfortunately, it includes some bad news.”

  She nodded, sensing my hesitation. “I’ll love you no matter what.” She sighed. “But we can wait to get home to discuss it.”

  “Yeah?” I asked. “Bad day?”

  She sighed heavily. “John sort of cornered me today, fishing for more details about your relationship with Freya.”

  “Our boss?” I asked in disbelief. “Why would he do that? He knows you and I are together, and I doubt he has heard Dave’s gossip.” While gossip spread like wildfire in our office, there wasn’t a single coworker who shared any of it with our boss. He was the one person always out of the loop.

  She shrugged. “I think he was just wanting to clarify that it was purely a professional relationship. His questions gave me the impression he’s going to try to get a date with her.”

  I groaned. Of course. I knew this was coming. “What did you tell him?” I wondered absentmindedly, as my thoughts began to wander to being inside Freya again. Dammit, I felt like what I had done with her was even more intimate than normal sex. No, it was more intimate for me. A thousand times more intimate. Shit, I might have enjoyed it more than she did.

  Shit.

  Lily rested her hand on my thigh, misunderstanding my expression. “Just that she didn’t date. He didn’t seem to believe me, so I informed him that we had been friends for almost fifteen years – you should have seen the shock on his face finding that out." She sighed and looked at the road. "I told him confidently that she had not dated a single person in all that time.” She returned her gaze to me.

  I nodded. “And?” I prompted, unable to look up at her. Dammit, why couldn’t I stop thinking about it?

  “Well, that’s it really. He asked a few more questions, but I acted like I was busy until he finally took the hint and let it go.” She made a face. “I mean, I was busy actually. I’m thankful to the man for putting up with the problem my superpower causes, but I’m not about to bend over backwards to appease him.” She grinned. "Figuratively or literally."

  I felt the car come to a stop. I looked up immediately, surprised to see we were already at Lily’s place. I groaned again, prompting Lily to begin rubbing the back of my neck.

  "I was just kidding," she said apologetically, thinking her bad joke was the problem.

  Honestly, it wasn't. Now that we were here, I wasn't looking forward to telling her. My stomach felt like it was in knots, and I couldn't get Freya off my mind. I shook my head. "I'm just worried," I admitted.

  “It can’t be that bad,” she reassured me.

  I scoffed, opening my door to get out. “I just hope you still feel that way after I tell you everything.”

  She joined me in front of her vehicle to walk beside me. “It’s really that bad?” She wondered seriously.

  I nodded absentmindedly, my thoughts lingering on Freya. The way she looked at me afterwards. The passion in her eyes. Those crimson eyes, longing for me, craving me – a very different hunger than what I was used to seeing. I shook my head, trying to clear the image from my mind.

  I was already getting so used to my astral form that I didn’t even realize it when I opened the door…without moving my arms.

  Lily froze in place, horrified to see her door open on its own.

  I looked back at her apologetically. My expression got her attention. “Yes Lily. It’s really that bad.”

  Her mouth fell open as it registered that the door hadn’t just opened on its own. She looked at me strangely as she considered this development. “Oh.” She finally managed. “Y-You’ve definitely got a lot of explaining to do.”

  I nodded in agreement, taking a step inside. She followed after me hesitantly.

  This was going to be a long conversation.

  21: Coping with Stress

  Of course, I had to tell Lily about my newfound ability first. I honestly wasn’t sure how she was going to react to any of the news, but I figured I should get that part out of the way…especially since I opened the door with it. She was certainly s
urprised, but after her initial shock it didn’t seem to bother her. If anything, she seemed a little relieved to find out I was capable of defending myself now. Even though I was immortal, it still worried her that most other supers could hurt me and there was nothing I could do about it.

  What did bother her was finding out about the shadow company, and its connection to my wife and daughter, as well as the fact that Nick appeared to be involved. The more I talked, the more reserved her expression became, until we were finally just sitting quietly in her kitchen.

  After a long silence, she spoke. “I need to think about this Sam.”

  “Oh…okay.” I paused, uncertain of what to say next. “Umm, I invited Nick over to my place to get that part over with, but it can wait if you want.”

  She shook her head, her expression still reserved. “No. I think that would be a good idea. I need some time to think about this,” she repeated.

  “Oh.” I hesitated. “You mean…” Was she saying what I thought she was saying? “You want some time alone?”

  She nodded once, her arms crossed over her chest defensively. “Yes.”

  “For how long?” I wondered, dread filling my chest.

  She looked away, her expression pained. After a moment, her eyes became more determined. “I’ll let you know.” She kept her gaze averted. “But you should probably stay at your place tonight.”

  My chest hurt so bad it was all I could do not to grab ahold of it. I hadn’t stayed a full night at my place in over half a year. I basically lived with Lily now, only stopping by to indulge Freya’s bloodlust and maybe do some laundry. My voice was barely audible. “O-Okay.”

  She still didn’t look at me.

  I stood up slowly, realizing she wanted me to go now. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, unsure if there was anything I could say to help. “I would have told you sooner if I had known.”

  She nodded once, still looking away.

  I wanted to kiss her goodbye. To tell her I loved her. But I unexpectedly realized that was off the table right now. She needed a break from me. She needed time to process that her life was in danger, and that it was inadvertently my fault. If anything, it would be wrong of me to try to make her feel bad for having second thoughts about it. She wasn’t immortal like Freya. It was a lot to ask her to risk her life to be with me. And unfair.

  Shit.

  “See you at work,” I whispered, trying to say goodbye without using the words ‘I love you so much it hurts’ or ‘I want to marry you’ or ‘I want you to be the mother of my children.’ Definitely not appropriate right now. Especially since I knew she wanted kids – she had already talked to Freya about being a surrogate since Lily’s superpower might kill her unborn child.

  Dammit. Stupid shadow company.

  “At work,” she agreed, her expression impassive.

  Not wanting to make this any harder on her, I hurried out the door and got into my car, which had also pretty much lived at Lily’s place for over half a year. I stared at the dashboard for a few minutes, unable to start the engine yet. My chest hurt too much, and part of me hoped Lily would come rushing out her front door to say goodbye.

  My vibrating phone caught my attention. It was Freya. She had everything ready at my place and was already hiding in case Nick arrived early. I glanced at the time to see I still had almost an hour.

  I couldn’t let Freya know how Lily had reacted. The last thing Lily needed was someone making her feel guilty for needing time to consider her own mortality.

  Damn it all.

  I decided to waste the time by going to pick up something harder than just beer. I usually didn’t drink at all, because alcohol and other drugs did nothing to me. Nothing. I had never even experienced the allusive buzz people supposedly got. Just another reason I had turned to pain to alleviate my grief at three in the morning, every morning.

  But not now. When I had first felt Lily and Freya’s love touch my pain, I made a promise to myself to never use that as an excuse again. I would still work on my pain tolerance, but not for that reason.

  When I got home, I saw a plastic bag of white powder sitting on the counter. I already knew what to do with it. I didn’t want to seem awkward by insisting that Nick accept a certain drink, so instead I just decided to spike everything. He’d never suspect it if I was sharing the same thing as him.

  Freya was in my attic – I could see her easily with my second-sight. It was weird that I had never considered how unusual it was that I could do that. I mean, I knew normal people couldn’t, but I never would have guessed it hinted at something more. Much more.

  I automatically reached out with an invisible tentacle, stretching it easily all the way up to her, and wrapped myself around her thigh. She jerked away in shock, but was unable to go far. My phone vibrated then, and I glanced down to see her message.

  “Not funny!”

  I slid myself up her thigh, reaching in between her legs. I really needed the distraction right now, if she was willing. My phone vibrated again.

  “Sam!”

  I waited patiently for her to actually give me a legitimate response. Finally, after a few seconds of teasing her, my phone vibrated again.

  “Dammit Sam! Just do it already!”

  I grinned as I messaged her back, wrapping another part of myself around her hand. “Squeeze. Let go when you want me to stop.” She responded my grabbing a hold of the invisible part of me with enough force that it would have broken the physical arm of most people. Surprisingly, it felt great on my astral limb.

  Once she was done, I wrapped myself around her trembling body, caressing the side of her face while I sat on the couch and patiently waited for my company to show up. I finally released her just before there was a knock on the door, having already seen Nick pull up to the house with my second-sight.

  Knowing why I had to let go, I sensed Freya sit up. My phone vibrated again. I glanced down at her message as I grabbed a cold beer to hand to Nick right away.

  “Shit Sam, that was amazing.”

  I tried to stifle a grin, focusing my thoughts on more unpleasant memories so I could play my role. She had been a great distraction, though she certainly meant much more to me than that, but it didn’t take more than half a second for it to feel like someone had shot a hole through my chest again.

  What was Lily going to decide?

  As I opened the door, the first thing I did was hand Nick the open beer. He accepted it hesitantly and followed me inside. “Ugh,” I exclaimed, successfully looking depressed. “I just had the worst fight with Lily ever.” I didn’t want to use her as an excuse, but I needed a valid reason for what I was doing. Plus…at least if I gave a serious excuse, then no one would be surprised…if she left me…

  “Oh, really?” He asked in surprise. He set the beer down on the table. That wasn’t a good sign. Surely he wasn’t suspicious…right? Why would he be?

  I had the vodka spiked too, so I poured myself a glass. I glanced at the beer he had set down. “Hey, if you don’t want it, I’ll take it.” I took a swing of my vodka while reaching my hand out for the beer. “Want something better instead?” I asked, holding up my glass.

  He nodded. “Sure, I’ll take a glass of that too.” He grabbed the beer and took a swig. He looked down at it in surprise. “Hey, this is pretty good.”

  I nodded in agreement, pouring him a glass of what I was having. I handed it to him and he tried that too. I downed the rest of my glass and poured myself another. I then jabbed my thumb behind me. “I have some flavored vodka too, if you want to try that.”

  He smirked at me, leaning against the counter. “No, that’s alright. So what was the fight about?” He wondered hesitantly.

  I sighed, my shoulders slumping briefly before I took another swig. “Basically what we talked about earlier at lunch,” I admitted. “You put stupid ideas in my head Nick!” I scolded him. “I asked her what she thought about having Freya join in on our relationship, and she blew up at me.” I scoffed. “Literal
ly of course.”

  “Ouch,” he grimaced. “You’re not blaming me though, right?”

  I shook my head. “No, I know it’s not your fault.” I then pointed my finger at him. “But you might want to second guess what you’re doing. I don’t know what kind of abilities your chicks have, but I don’t want to see yourself getting killed.” Actually, I might be alright if they killed him. Stupid bastard. Even if he didn’t fully realize what he was doing, it was still shady as hell. Could I even really consider him my friend?

  He smirked at me. “Nah, Camila can create super realistic illusions, and Zoey is super-fast. Both superpowers are great for the bedroom, but neither are lethal.”

  I tried not to gag. I needed to tread carefully here, because I did not want this conversation to get any more detailed. At least I wasn’t affected by what I was drinking. No doubt it was already hitting his system. I hoped he passed out before he lost all his inhibitions and started telling me things I didn’t want to know.

  “Still,” I replied, “I wouldn’t recommend asking about it flat out.”

  He gawked at me. “You really just straight up asked her?” He wondered in disbelief. “No, no, no man! You can’t do that. You’ve got to be more sly about it. Like–”

  I expected the drug to take some time, not drop him instantly. I reached out automatically with an astral limb to catch his beer, letting him crash to the floor in a heap.

  Damn. I hoped the stuff didn’t kill him. But I could see his heart beating just fine. Slow, but fine.

  I reached up to grab Freya in my attic and gave her a slight squeeze. Knowing she had sensitive hearing, she probably heard Nick fall, but she was still waiting for me to confirm it. I saw her begin to make her way down immediately.

  “Wow, that was fast,” she exclaimed.

  I nodded in agreement, looking down at his small frame. “Yeah, I guess I should have figured he was a light-weight. You know, since he literally is.”

  She smirked at me, stepping over Nick’s body and grabbing my face to give me a kiss. Her crimson eyes were full of passion and love. It was obvious her mind was still on what I’d done to her in the attic just a little while ago. “That was really amazing Sam. It felt so good.” She sighed heavily, resting her hand on my chest. “I’ve never been so in love in my entire life.”