“So is Colton. And yes, I speak in third person now, apparently.” Colton, another one of my cousins and the tight end for the Cougars, strides into the room with his wife, Sky.
I’m close to all my cousins, but Colton and I share something the others don’t—we’re the only two who’ve lost our fathers. And because of that ill-fated link, we’re bonded together in a different way.
Colton throws his arm around my neck as he pulls me in for a hug. “I know you don’t want us to be there in July,” he says in a low tone meant only for me to hear.
“I don’t.” I shove my hands into my pockets. “I understand why you want to…”
“We’re going to come anyway,” he says, his blue eyes flashing with emotion. “I get your hesitation. I really do; believe me. But I also know…” He takes a deep breath. “I know that in hindsight, you’ll be glad we were there for you. Trust me on this one.”
We all went to the funeral for Colton’s dad. We were teenagers then, and Colton’s mom did a great job of organizing the service and family gathering afterward. It was an emotional weekend and weeks afterward, Colton said it was cathartic for him.
My dad’s passing was different. I was only ten, and his was the first loss I’d ever experienced. But more than that, the way his death happened didn’t leave any time for planning. First his ship was acknowledged to be missing, and the uncertainty and the panic dragged on for days. By the time he was officially declared gone, Ma had no interest in a memorial. None of the other wives did, either. No one had slept much for days, or eaten. So when the news of the finality came, we all just held hands at the dock and one of the fishermen’s brothers, a priest, said a few prayers for the dead. There were no bodies to let go of because they were already buried somewhere in the sea. And maybe that made a difference.
“Closure,” Colton says as he watches my face. “That’s all I mean, Ayd.”
I give a slow nod. “I guess I have to trust you on it. I won’t keep fighting you. You’re all welcome to come to Lucky Bay in July.” I lightly punch Colton’s massive arm.
When I haven’t seen them in a while, which is most of the time, I forget just how ridiculously built my two cousins are. All of us, except for Cam, played football through high school, and Cam’s currently a star in the ice hockey minor leagues. So we’re all athletic, but Dylan and Colton are in phenomenal shape. Colton’s muscles go on forever, and Dylan doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him. They claim they’re not in playing shape right now because it’s off-season, but they could fool me.
Sky’s red hair is pinned up on top of her head, and her pretty green eyes sparkle as she gives me a hug. “Have a safe flight home.” She turns to Jasalie. “Can I hang out with you? The guys are doing guy things now.”
“Of course!” Jasalie pats the free couch cushion for Sky.
But before Sky can take a step, Colton’s mouth is on hers, and they’re making out like they won’t see each other for a month. Then Jasalie’s back in Dylan’s arms, their lips locked on one another’s.
“Christ.” I tug at the brim of my baseball cap. “I’ll meet you two outside. We’ve got plenty of time to get to the airport, anyway. As long as I don’t miss my flight.”
Colton gives Sky one last peck on the lips and breaks away reluctantly. “I’m ready.” He grabs my bag and gestures to Dylan, who’s miraculously made it off the couch.
“Let’s go for a drink before you fly out. Dylan has something he wants to discuss with you, Ayd. Best to do it under the influence. I’ll drive.”
I jerk my head in Dylan’s direction. He just ushers me toward the door. “Not a big deal,” he assures me. “But Colt’s right. Let’s get a drink.”
“You are absolutely not ‘lending’ me your apartment,” I say, the one beer I had not nearly enough to keep me calm. “I don’t want your damn money, Dylan.”
The three of us are wearing jeans and t-shirts and aren’t exactly dressed for anywhere fancy. This works just fine for us since none of us like formalities. So we’ve parked ourselves at a hole-in-the-wall bar on the beachfront, a place famous for its burgers and fries. Dylan knows the owner, who set us up in an undisclosed back room because the place is packed with wall-to-wall customers. So we have some privacy back here, but I know I shouldn’t let my voice get too loud. Dylan and Colton are both bulls-eyes for the press, and Dylan is especially wary of publicity.
He’s had ridiculous lies printed about him, not to mention stalkers and a particularly scary death threat that almost broke him and Jasalie up for good. Luckily, he came to his senses, but he’s always on the alert, and he has a crew of security on his payroll.
Dylan runs both hands through his hair, which is as dark as mine, and lets out a frustrated huff. “I’m not even using the apartment, Ayden,” he argues me. “It’s literally sitting there vacant. I don’t want to rent it out, and I’m not sure about selling it yet.”
“Why not?” I ask him.
“Because I haven’t tried living in Malibu during a full season, and I want to make sure it works before I get rid of my place downtown.”
Well, that makes sense, but…
“The only way I’d consider it is if you let me pay you rent,” I say. “You’ll be my landlord.”
Just like I knew he would, Dylan frowns. “That makes no sense, Ayden.” He hesitates. “Look, Colt and I know you took the job out here for a reason. A monetary reason. Right?”
I shrug. “California’s weather makes my line of work more stable; that’s for sure.”
“Right,” Colton says carefully. “You can work year-round here. Which is great, but I’m pretty fucking certain you’re not planning on keeping that extra cash for yourself. Are you, Ayd?”
I resist the urge to punch him. Colton will keep pushing if he thinks he’s close to uncovering something.
“Not ready to get into it,” I tell him.
Dylan’s gaze hasn’t left me or the way I’m anxiously flipping my drink coaster around.
“I’m in an incredibly blessed position where money is no longer a stress in my life,” he says slowly. “And I’m not going to sit back and watch you bust your ass for family when I could be helping out, even in some small way. Like with your living arrangements.”
I sit back and cross my arms over my chest. Sure, Dylan has a hundred million dollar contract, and I…don’t, but taking advantage of our relationship isn’t an option.
Colton cracks a smile. “Knew this would be a stand-off.”
Dylan and I both glare at him. Colton’s smile widens. “And that’s why I came armed with a solution.”
I raise my eyebrows, and Dylan gestures for Colton to continue.
“You and Jasalie want a garden by your pool, don’t you, Dyl?” Colton asks.
“Yeah, but what does that have to do with this?” Dylan says.
Colton waves his hand in the air. “Ayden’s a professional landscaper. Hire him to do the garden in exchange for living at your apartment. Everyone’s happy.”
I look at Dylan, who looks at me. For a moment we stay locked in, assessing each other. Then, he cracks a smile, and fuck, I do too. And just like that, the standoff is broken.
We shake hands. Turns out Colton’s right. Everyone’s happy.
“So Ayd, the only thing left is to convince your comrade in arms to join you out here,” Colton says, a mischievous grin lighting his face. “Dylan’s apartment is plenty big enough for two.”
I’m already shaking my head. “Bella’s not on board.”
“You’ve asked her?” Dylan says.
“Sort of. And it didn’t go well. Look, I know Bella. She has responsibilities in Lucky Bay just like I do. And while I need to move to California so I can…” I trail off as Colt and Dylan lean closer like they’re ready for me to spill my secrets. “And while I’m able to relocate, Bella may not feel like she can.”
“That’s bullshit.” Colton narrows his eyes at me. “You and Bella can work anything out.”
“Even if we could, Bella’s not ready to move back to L.A.”
“Even with you?” Colton says. “Because you two together…”
“Are only friends,” I say firmly. “And that’s all we ever should be. In fact…”
By the time I’ve finished telling them about our drunk dares, Colton’s shaking his head.
“God, you’re a stubborn ass, Ayd. You can actually sit there with a straight face and tell me you don’t want to explode at the thought of Bella with another guy?”
I take a deep breath. “Colt, shut the hell up.”
“Ayden,” Dylan says in a low tone, “Bella’s the only woman you’ve ever cared for. We all see it. Why can’t you?”
Because I don’t date women I care for. That’s the damn point.
Like he knows what I’m thinking, Dylan continues, “And this whole ‘I don’t fuck my friends’ thing you’ve perfected—how’s that going to work when you want to get married? You’re going to end up with someone who’s not Bella just to keep her in the friend zone?”
I feel like my damn head is going to explode. “You’re giving me a fucking headache,” I mutter. “I can’t explain my relationship with Bella to you two. I’m happy for you both that you’ve found Sky and Jasalie, but my life isn’t the same as yours. I date casually; the more casual, the better. It’s what works for me. So stop pushing me. Bella will find someone, yes. Do I like that fact? Not exactly. But it is what it is.”
“Ayd…”
“Discussion over. I need to get to the airport to make sure I don’t miss this double-date disaster Bella and I are going on.”
“Why did you agree to such a fucking stupid idea?” Colton asks me.
“Because I want to keep my eye on the tool she’s going with. I don’t trust him.”
Dylan and Colton exchange a look I can’t decipher the meaning of. It looks a bit like “point made.”
Then Dylan nods. “Okay. Discussion over. The apartment is yours. You can start working on the garden once you’ve moved out here and settled in. But Ayd?”
I narrow my eyes. “But what?”
“I respectfully disagree. I think you should convince Bella to join you.”
So do I. But that doesn’t mean she and I will be on the same page.
CHAPTER NINE
Bella
Dressed in a new pink top and white shorts with matching strappy sandals, I make it a point to be the first one at the Lucky Bay Clam Festival on Sunday. I had told Trey I’d meet him there for our double date with Ayden and Jenny.
As I reach the town square, the Ferris wheel spins high over the crowd, and eighties music wafts through the air.
Lucky Bay’s clam festival is one of the biggest fairs on the Maine coast. Everyone always hopes for a warm weekend, and sometimes we’re rewarded. Not this year, though. This morning’s been windy and cloudy so far.
I take a seat on the bench closest to the rainbow-colored moonwalk and listen to all the kids screaming as they jump up and down inside. The moonwalk’s always been big with kids and teenagers—the kids so they can jump around, and the teenagers so they can flirt and land on one another inside the protective walls but not have anyone think anything crazy’s going on. I never went on the moonwalk with a date, but I used to hear about all the girls who dragged Ayden onto it.
Speaking of, I haven’t seen Ayden since he got back to Maine. His flight yesterday was delayed due to mechanical problems, so he ended up taking the red-eye and only landed just over an hour ago. He texted me that he was on his way home to shower and change and that he’d be picking up Jenny before coming to the festival.
I pull out my phone and text Tari that I’m already having second thoughts about this double date. Before I can overthink things even more than I already am, Trey slides onto the bench next to me.
“Hey Bella,” he says with a smile. “How are you?”
Trey’s hair is dark like Ayden’s, but while Ayden’s is wild like his name, Trey’s is super short and slicked down. He has nice brown eyes, a friendly smile, and a trim body. He’s handsome in a conventional, boring sort of way. And the truth is he does bore me. Tari was right—I really do pick men I don’t give a shit about.
“Hey!” I say to him as he leans in to kiss me.
Well, as he tries to kiss me. He goes for my mouth, but I’ve already turned to hug him, so he ends up kissing my eye.
“Sorry about that,” he says as I back up.
“No, don’t be sorry.” I lean in toward him. “I’m the one who shifted…ouch!” I cry out as Trey’s head accidentally slams into my temple.
While Trey apologizes all over again, saying he zigged when I zagged, I hold my head in pain.
Not a great start.
And of course, in the middle of all this horrible awkwardness and genuine physical discomfort, I hear—
“Bella.”
I drop my hands and whip my head around. “Ayden?”
He’s standing a few feet away in his well-worn jeans that fit him perfectly and a shirt I’ve never seen before. It’s collared and dressier than usual, almost like a polo shirt. I’m staring at it and wondering when he bought something so out of character just as he says my name again. I raise my head and watch his gaze sweep over me intently. I run toward him, and he closes the gap with three long strides. He scoops me up into his arms, flipping his baseball cap backward so he won’t bang me with the brim.
Still keeping one arm locked firmly around my waist, he speaks quietly into my ear. “I missed you, B. How’d your studying go?”
“I’ll find out tomorrow. After that, only one more test left, and I’ll have my degree. Right before you leave.” I pull back to look at him. His eyes are bright, but they can’t hide the dark circles underneath.
“You look tired.”
“Long trip.” He lets me down, and my feet hit the ground. “Haven’t slept since yesterday.”
I break into a smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” He tips his head in the direction of Trey. “You okay?”
I flush with heat. “Yes. We banged heads. No big deal.”
“As long as you’re okay.” His eyes search mine. “You want to go to the bar instead of hanging here?”
“I want to stay here,” a voice says from behind us.
Ayden and I break apart, and oh…there’s Jenny Woods, glaring at me. I thought Ashley was the one who didn’t like me, but apparently more than one woman in Ayden’s world wishes I would go away.
Her long blond curls hang halfway down her back, and her red maxi dress is the perfect blend of casual yet sexy. I feel completely underdressed all of a sudden.
“Hi, Jenny,” I say with a smile. “You look really nice. How are you?”
“Fine. Your head is red.” She points to my temple. “What happened?”
“Oh. Um…”
“My fault. I banged into her.” Trey’s off the bench now. His arm goes around my shoulders, and he draws me closer to him. “Maybe we should walk over to the beer garden behind the Ferris wheel.”
Ayden’s eyes are fixed on Trey’s hand, which is dangling over my shoulder and in the general vicinity of my breast. He’s not close to touching it, but Ayden’s jaw starts working like he’s going to grind his teeth down to nothing.
“Let it go,” I murmur to him as the four of us start walking across the lawn. “Good Lord, you’re not my big brother.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he whispers into my hair. “I am definitely not your brother, Bella.”
My stomach clenches low, and I have to grab onto Trey’s waist to stay upright.
Ayden’s dimple flashes like he just got what he wanted, and I glare at him.
For the next hour, we all wander around the festival grounds in an awkward attempt to engage in pleasant four-way conversation. Jenny and Trey do most of the talking; Trey’s a big sports fan, and he just came back from a Red Sox game the night before. Jenny’s originally from California, and she tell
s Ayden, at least three times, that she can’t wait to visit him out there whenever he wants.
“Cool,” is all Ayden says in response, but it’s enough to set me on edge.
With visions of Jenny and Ayden fornicating on the beaches of southern California, I stop short at the base of the Ferris wheel.
“Who’s up for a ride?” I say in a forced happy tone.
“Oh, I’m afraid of heights,” Jenny says as she clutches Ayden’s hand.
“That’s too bad,” I say. “Trey, you want to go?”
“Sure thing.”
Ayden catches my wrist as I go to pass him. “We’ll meet you back here when you finish.”
“Ayd, let’s go on the moonwalk together while we wait,” Jenny says.
I do a slow turn toward her. “The moonwalk isn’t very fun for adults,” I say. “It gets really crowded with all the kids, and you’ll probably end up falling.”
She wraps her arms around Ayden’s waist and kisses his bicep. “That’s okay. I think I can handle falling with this guy. I know he’ll catch me.”
“Super. Have fun then.” I turn on my heel and head for the waiting car at the bottom of the Ferris wheel.
Trey joins me and pulls the bar down over us. And then we’re moving. Up into the air, away from Ayden and Jenny and all the tension between Ayden and me that’s so thick I can hardly breathe.
Not wanting to imagine what he and Jenny are doing inside those moonwalk walls, I pretend to be really interested in Trey’s long conversation about his volunteer soccer team.
“I love to run,” he says. “I could run around all day, and it wouldn’t be enough. You?”
“Hmm?” I glance over at him. “Oh, me? I’m not much of a runner, no.”
Understatement of my life. The one time I tried jogging with Tari on the beach, we gave up and ended up at Sweets, the local bakery, where we ordered a dozen donut holes and proceeded to eat them all.
“You should start,” Trey says. “I mean you’re clearly in great shape now, but you’re still young. Once you get older, you’ll have a harder time keeping weight off.”
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