by Sally Henson
I wave for him to come near. The noise level is too high for him to hear me. He leans over the table with his ear near my mouth.
“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friends today?”
“I didn’t think you wanted anyone to know we’re…” He hitches his shoulder. “Seeing each other.” He looks at me. “I’ve only told my roommate.” He turns toward the counter. They’ve yelled his name. He points and mouths he’ll be back.
His form is a magnet for my eyes, keeping them locked on him as he goes back for the rest of our order. He's wearing a light blue sweater that makes his shoulders look broad and strong from behind. I slip the lid off my cocoa for it to cool.
Am I allowing my family’s perceptions of our relationship is to become my perception? It’s so miserable watching his life from the outside. When I look back up, Lane’s squeezing through the crowd on his way back to me. I may have stopped breathing for a second.
His sweater seems to cling to muscles in his chest and shoulders and arms I never noticed he had. And the light blue makes his eyes even more amazing than they already are. How’s that even possible?
He’s always been cute, good-looking, but he’s more than that right now. More than flames, even. Grrr, I’m not the only one who notices either. There are more than a couple of sets of female eyes on him. I shoot daggers through my glare, but they’re still watching Lane. My gaze locks back on him. His workouts are paying off big time. Dang.
He nods to a few people on his way back to the table with our drinks and a slice of cheesecake. “What’re you grinning at?”
I whimper to myself. “I seem to recall Cameron asking you if you'd been working out.” I grab the straw of my water and guzzle half of it down.
He squints a little and leans forward, resting his arms on the tiny table and wraps his fingers around his cocoa. “Is that a question?”
I lift my brows. “You know it is.” I lean closer to him.
“It didn't sound like a question.” He’s doing that flirty, taunting thing with me.
“Gah.” I breathe out in a burst of frustration. He flashes his dimples. “When do you have time to work out?”
He leans closer, wearing a beautiful grin. “I'm glad you noticed.”
“Everyone noticed.” I try not to gawk, even though my fingers already feel the sparks flying off him. I know it’s impossible to keep him all to myself, and even with girls checking him out all day long, he does seem to want to be with me right now.
He shakes his head, one corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked grin. “How's your cocoa? Do you like it?”
I take a sip. “Still too hot.” I press my tongue to my lip where the cocoa burned it.
“Ross and I try to work out together Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. Before class.”
“What time do you get up?”
“Five forty-five. It's not that bad now that I'm used to it.” He leans back in his chair and takes a sip of his cocoa.
“Well …” I look him up and down. “It looks good on you.” I avert my eyes to my hot drink. His smile shines so brilliantly, I can easily see it out of the corner of my eye.
When I glance at him, I can tell he wants to say something. He bites his lip, and then rubs them together and does it all over again. Whatever it is, it’s driving him crazy. It’s driving me crazy too.
I look at him looking at me and sip my water through the straw until the sputtering sound signals it's empty. “Do you have something to say?”
He looks away, pressing his lips together to conceal a smile. “Not at the moment.” He chuckles and lets loose of his charming, dimple-framed smile.
We’ve had a rough time of it today—lately. It seems like we have so much against our being together, it’s been hard to make it work. The doubts still seep in, especially seeing he does have a life here, without the gang, without me. His flirting is over the top right now though. And there’s something brewing inside me, telling me not to let him go.
I bump his leg with mine. “What do you mean not at the moment? What were you going to say?” His dancing eyes and the anticipation of what he’s going to say have my heartbeat ramping up.
Lane glances down at his drink. “I was just thinking …” He takes a sip of his cocoa and looks back down to the cup.
I cock my head to the side. “What?” An all-out dance party is breaking out in my chest now.
Lane leans close so I can hear his whisper. “I wouldn’t mind you elaborating on the results of my workout habits.”
Heat spreads from my neck, flushing my cheeks. I shouldn’t be embarrassed, but I am. I look down to the cocoa cup in between my hands. Maybe I should tell him how good he looks, as awkward as the thought of doing it is.
Be brave, bold.
“All right.”
Lane leans back with his brows raised. “All right.” One corner of his mouth curls up with his round eyes anxiously waiting to hear what I'm about to say.
“I was maybe, inconspicuously checking your muscles out when you were keeping me warm in the barn at Tobi’s party. But I must admit, your sweater clings in all the right places today.” I lean back and peruse the crowd. A few overly long glances continue being directed at Lane from the females in this place. I narrow my eyes and lift my chin to the crowded room. “I’m not the only one that notices. You’re what Tobi calls ...” I tap my finger against my lips. Lane takes in every move I make. “Eye candy.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Eye candy?”
“All these wandering female eyes around here? Yeah, I think that’s an accurate description.”
He laughs, scanning the room.
These girls’ checking my guy out is taking a toll on me. I take a deep breath and change the subject before I catapult my heart away from this table. Susanna’s words, it’s only a matter of time before he finds someone else, are trying to dive bomb my brain—accompanying the insecurity filling me right now.
“Do you feel like you're out on your own?”
“I don't know. Mostly, I guess. I still come home every weekend I can.” His tone changes. “You know I wouldn't if you were here with me.” His voice is low and serious.
“You’d go home to hunt.” This is a fact he can't deny.
He snorts. “Okay. For hunting, but when the season’s over …”
It’s the reminder, the proof that I’ve had all along. Lane keeps me in his life. He doesn’t have to come home to see me, he wants to. I’ve never told or even asked him to. He’s never even questioned the idea of us. I’ve been in his life all along.
My heart hums inside my chest, knowing I’m the one who needs to step up to this relationship. How do I do that? How do I make sure he knows I want to be part of his life, no matter where he is?
I try my hot cocoa again as this revelation circulates through my brain. Yum. It's thick and creamy and deliciously dark chocolate. I take another sip. “Mmm.” I lick the whipped cream off my lips and put the lid back on. “Delicious.”
28
Lane
I lean in and whisper, close to her ear. “Decadent Dark Chocolate Crème.”
Regan nods and takes another sip of her cocoa.
Skipping class today has been more than worth it. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She fits with me, at college, anywhere, everywhere. But even here, in this sea of people, she stands out like a brilliant blue flame among the embers.
Regan looks up from her cocoa into my eyes with an intensity that penetrates through to my core. I don’t know how one look, that look from her can kick my heartbeat into Mach One, but it does. If I didn’t know her so well, I don’t think I’d be able to handle her looking at me like that. Her eyes can be so intimidating. Warmth spreads through my chest, puffing me up like I could take on the world. I feel my body drawing closer to her, and I almost get lost in the golden flecks of sunshine in her ocean-of-blue-eyes.
I can’t take it anymore. “Stop looking at me like that if you don’t want me to kiss you
right here in front of everyone.” My smile grows crooked because I want her to tell me to do it anyway. To kiss her already.
The air is thick and full of chemical bombs going off between us. If she wasn’t so afraid of being together in public, if we were alone, I’d be pulling her in my arms and tasting the chocolate and whipped cream on her mouth right now. Regan’s gaze lingers, I’m seeing a mirage of her moving closer to me. Ahh, it’s no mirage; her breath is on my skin.
“Kiss me already.” An airy whisper floats between us.
My lungs suck in her words as if they’re the oxygen that keeps me alive. Our lips meet in a fiery chemical burn infiltrating my senses, making me high on her. I want more of this drug she’s become. I reach down and slide her chair to mine. Her giggles are what I think tickling champagne bubbles would feel like against my tongue.
I rub her arm to make sure this is real. Sometimes my daydreams of her are so good, but this is definitely real. She’s still connected and I’m not about to separate myself from this little gift she’s giving me. Until someone’s stupid phone goes off making us both jump apart.
I glance at the phone that went off at the table next to us and give it a dirty look. Regan rubs her lips together, turning my frown of disgust around. It draws me to her, and I rest my forehead against hers. Our combined hands are warm, almost sweaty. I’m still surprised she said it, surprised she kissed me. My heart is purring like a revved engine.
I take a deep breath. “I was hoping you’d say those three little words.” It’s kind of a joke in a serious kind of way. I do love her … I’m not sure I love her, love her, yet.
She giggles again but doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even pull away from me or look around to see if anyone caught us in the act of being much more than friends.
She surprises me again with another kiss. I reach under her legs, swing them on top of mine. Usually, she’d pull away from me, but she doesn’t this time. Regan roots herself into my arms.
“Does this mean we’re official?” I don’t want to be some play toy. If her dad would just see it’s okay, I could call her at home during the week. We could just be together around our families, at the diner, anywhere. I’m tired of trying to keep this secret
She snuffs. “Official? I want to belong in your life—at home, and here.”
My face burrows into her hair. I almost gave up hope. Seriously, I thought I was going to have to break things off between us for her to realize I can’t take our being a secret anymore.
She sighs. “I need to use the ladies’ room.”
I don’t want to let her go, but I point to the bathrooms down the hallway.
Regan’s gaze lingers as she stands and walks away. My eyes track her as she moves gracefully through the crowd and disappears. I stand and smooth out my jeans. I’m not sure why, maybe to see if I could watch her a little while longer. I look back down to the table and take my seat.
Damn, if I’m not the luckiest guy I know.
It’s still amazing to me that my feelings for her become stronger every week. I pull my phone out and check the time and my messages. Johanna’s text earlier made me nervous. After I swiped my phone out of Regan’s hands, I felt like a real jerk. I’m glad Johanna has my notes, but I told her I’d text her at three-thirty. I hope Deke didn’t forget in biology.
Regan thought I was annoyed with her, that I skipped classes just to satisfy Tobi. I’d move home and drive to junior college if she wanted me to. I meant every mushy word that came out of me this morning.
“Lane?”
My eyes shoot up to her voice. “Johanna!” I stand. I usually stand when I greet a girl, but she shouldn’t be here. “What are you doing here?” Crap. Why’d she have to show up?
Her body shifts and she looks up at me through her eyelashes. “Hi. I’m just getting some caffeine. I could use something to warm me up.”
“Yeah, it’s cold out there.” Get your drink and get gone.
She takes a step toward me with her arms out. Uh? I draw my brows in and look from side to side. Is this weird? It feels weird. I lean over and sort of pat her on the back.
She turns her face toward mine, getting closer than I expect. “I have your notes from class.” Her voice is off.
I pull away. Johanna lingers. “Great! Thanks for doing this for me.”
She pulls me back toward her and leans up to kiss me on the cheek. “Can I sit with you?”
The only thing that kept my eyes from popping out of their sockets are the muscles attached to them. “Uh, aren’t you here with someone?” A nervous smile spreads across my lips.
Johanna takes Regan’s seat after hanging her bag over Regan’s coat. “Phipps was on a roll today. She started quoting from The Odyssey in that terrible accent she does.” She waves her hand, shaking her head. “You know that one guy that sits in the middle that’s always asking questions?”
I nod. Can’t she tell she’s taking someone’s seat?
She snickers. “He got Phipps off subject again. And she started talking about Dante and somehow she …”
Johanna’s words continue to dribble out of her mouth but they’re just noise. Noise like everything else around me. I pretend I’m listening and glance toward the bathrooms to see if Regan’s on her way back yet. I’m just going to introduce them. I’ve got to tell Regan some time, it might as well be right now.
She’s not in the hall. I scan the crowd. She should—. Hey. What’s she doing against the back wall? I glance to Johanna, still babbling about Phipps, and then back to Regan. My chest swells as I wave her to come back.
“Who’re you waving at?” Johanna breaks her chatter.
“Regan.”
Regan’s body flinches as if something hit her. My smile falls. Oh, no. I shake my head. She’s got the wrong idea. I plead telepathically for her to come over here. Regan’s eyes narrow and that hurt puppy meets ferocious dog look spreads across her face.
Anxiety runs through me when I see her expression. I stand up so fast, I nearly knock the chair over. It’s not what you’re thinking, Regan. Johanna’s saying something to me, but I can’t focus on her right now. Regan looks away from us. I follow her line of sight. The door? My stomach takes a hit, waving the green flag for my mind to race. What do I do?
I take a step around the table to intercept her but, she bolts as soon I as I move. Regan disappears around some big dude and then I see her slide between a chair and a bunch of sorority girls. I can tell they’re sorority by the blinged up hats and scarfs sporting their Greek initials. A chair slams into her, knocking her into the sorority girls. No! I lunge forward, reaching for her, even though I’m too far away to help. She bounces like a pin ball, off one person to the next, getting coffee dumped on her with every bump, and finally lands on the floor. Oh, my Regan.
I rush to her, but a crowd forms before I get there, blocking my way. Those snooty rips start cussing at her. There’s a lot of grumbling and a fight’s about to break out.
“Regan!” I can’t see her. I don’t hear her. “Regan!” I’m trying to squeeze through the crowd, when I hear one of the rips call her a dog.
Regan cries out. “Ah!”
Everyone around gasps and I catch a glimpse of a witch intentionally pouring her coffee on Regan while she’s still on the ground. As if she’s not beat up enough? My fingers ball into fists, and I lunge through the crowd. The stupid wench steps back behind the other girls. If Regan wasn’t on the ground in pain, I would’ve grabbed a hold of her and, grr, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I clench my teeth together. My nostrils flare with every breath. I swallow and get a grip on myself. When I reach out to help Regan up, my hands are shaking.
“Regan.” My breath comes out short and quick. “Are you okay?” I look her over. My entire body flinches when I process the damage.
She’s in shock. Her eyes are glued to the floor. She won’t look at me or anything else. The group of rips start grumbling about who’s going to replace their coffee and start
barking insults at Regan again.
“It was an accident. Can’t you see she’s hurt?” Of course, they don’t care about anyone other than themselves. Someone else finally steps up in Regan’s defense and offers to buy a few coffees for them. I don’t want to let go of Regan, but I pull a twenty out of my pocket and throw it at them. If looks could kill, they’d all burn to a crisp from my fiery glare.
I slide my hand into Regan’s and make way for the table to get our things and get out of here.
Argh! I’m so fired up and ticked off, I’m not thinking straight. Regan pulls back, slipping her hand out of mine. My brows knit tighter as I swivel back to her. She turns away from me and escapes through the crowd. At first, I assume she’s going back to the bathroom, but I see her pass the counter and out the door. What? My mouth drops open while my eyes shadow her until she disappears from my sight.
As if my heart isn’t beating fast enough, it kicks into hyper drive. Where’s she going? Get moving, you idiot. I hurry and grab our coats and her pack from our table, push through the crowd—I don’t care who I bump into or tick off—and rush out the door after her.
She’s taken off like a bat out of hell, running full speed away. My chest tightens as my mind races, trying to figure out what’s going on. It’s difficult running with her coat in one hand and pack in the other, but I push my legs to move faster so I can catch up to her.
“Regan!” I don’t know how she can run so fast right after what just happened to her. She’s got to have blisters bubbling, maybe even tearing the skin on her back. “Regan, wait. Stop.” The distance closes between us.
She glances back at me and finally slows to a stop.
I breathe a sigh of relief. She stands there, her whole body shaking and quivering, but she hasn’t turned around yet. Maybe now she’ll give me some answers. “Why are you running from me?”
She barks out a bitter laugh while I’m putting her coat over her shoulders. It cuts me like a knife and I stumble back a step. What did I do? I didn’t do anything wrong, why’s she mad at me? Ugh, Johanna.