by Amy Clipston
“Oh no. But none of this is your fault, Jeff. Onkel Freeman is just inordinately overprotective because of what he and his parents went through when his bruder died.”
“So how do I fix this?”
Salina rubbed her chin. “I’m going to Christiana’s haus today. I want to see her, and while I’m there, I’ll talk to Onkel Freeman. I’ll tell him you didn’t cause the fire and that you never put anyone in danger.”
“Do you think that will help?”
“Maybe?” She shrugged. “It’s worth a try. At least he might let her keep her booth.”
“Danki.” Jeff straightened and pushed his hat back on his head. “Please tell Christiana I miss her and think of her all the time. And tell her that I love her.”
“I will.” Salina gave him a weak smile. “I’ll do the best I can.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
* * *
Christiana stepped onto the porch just as a van pulled up in the driveway. She walked down the steps, wondering who had come.
“Salina!” Christiana rushed down the path and met her cousin as she climbed out of the vehicle. “Wie geht’s?”
“I’m well. How are you?” Salina gave her a hug.
“Fine. What brings you here today?” Christiana asked as they walked toward her house together.
“I just wanted to visit.”
“Oh. Then come inside, and I’ll make us tea.”
They entered the kitchen together, and Christiana filled the kettle and set it on a burner before pulling out a container of cookies. When she opened the lid and found macadamia nut cookies, her heart twisted. Oh, how she missed taking Jeff’s favorite cookies to him.
Christiana pushed the thought away and set the container on the table. “How are your parents?”
“They’re well.” Salina set down the mugs she’d taken from a cabinet. “Where are your mamm and Phoebe?”
“They’re upstairs working on a quilt for a customer.” Christiana put the sugar bowl and two tea bags on the table. “Dat had to go into his office today. He’s supposed to be home in a few hours.”
“Oh.” Salina sat down at the table.
The kettle whistled, and Christiana filled the mugs. Then she sat down across from Salina. Above them, a sewing machine chattered.
Christiana eyed her cousin with suspicion. “It’s rare that you come by on a Saturday. Why don’t you tell me why you’re really here?”
“Josiah came to see me last night, and he asked me to be his girlfriend.” Salina smiled as she picked up a cookie and broke it in half.
“That’s great.” Christiana touched her hand. “I’m so froh for you.”
“Danki.” Salina’s smile faded. “But that’s not the only reason I came to see you. I stopped by the market today to see when Kent thought we might reopen, and I ran into Jeff.”
Christiana stilled, and her heartbeat thudded. “And . . .”
“He had just met with Kent and found out he didn’t cause the fire.”
Christiana gasped. “He didn’t?”
“No. Some buwe were playing with matches.” Salina told her everything she’d learned from Jeff. “And the market will reopen on Thursday.”
“That’s wunderbaar.” Christiana gripped her mug of tea. “I’m so glad Jeff wasn’t held responsible.”
“He asked me to give you a message.”
Christiana braced herself.
“He said he misses you and thinks of you all the time. And he loves you.”
Tears pricked Christiana’s eyes at the words. “I can’t stop thinking about him either.”
“I think you need to tell your dat that Jeff isn’t guilty.” Salina leaned forward. “Maybe then he’ll see that he’s not a bad man.”
“It’s no use.” Christiana wiped her eyes with a paper napkin and cleared her throat. “Dat has made his decision. I can’t see Jeff, and I can’t keep my booth. I guess I’ll clean it out on Thursday.”
Salina tapped the table with her finger. “But Jeff did nothing wrong. Won’t that make your dat see he overreacted and at least let you stay at the market?”
“No.” Christiana shook her head. “He’d already formed his opinion about Jeff before the fire even happened, and he confessed he never really wanted me to open the booth. Why would this news change his mind?”
“Change his mind about what?”
Christiana looked up as Mamm walked into the kitchen.
“Hi, Aenti Lynn.” Salina gave her a little wave.
“How are you, Salina?” Mamm asked.
“I’m fine, danki.”
Mamm sat down next to Christiana and swiped a cookie from the container. “These are appeditlich.” Then she divided a look between Christiana and Salina. “What were you two talking about before I interrupted?”
“Salina stopped by the market today and found out the fire wasn’t Jeff’s fault.” Christiana explained what happened. “The market is going to reopen on Thursday. Salina thinks I should tell Dat that Jeff didn’t cause the fire. She thinks that will convince him Jeff isn’t a danger to me and at least let me keep my booth open.”
Mamm seemed to be considering that plan as she bit into her cookie.
“Do you think it might work, Mamm?” Christiana wanted to believe it would, but deep down, she was sure her father would never bend.
Mamm stared down at her cookie as she chewed, and Christiana slumped back in the chair.
“I’ve failed you,” Mamm said.
Christiana angled her body toward her mother. “You said that before, and I told you I don’t think you have.”
Mamm looked up, but before she could speak, Salina stood. “I’ll give you two a few minutes alone.” Then she stepped into the mudroom, and they heard the back door click shut.
“No, Christiana, I haven’t fought for you as hard as I should have,” Mamm began. “When you asked me about Aquilla, at first I was upset. But the more I think about it, the more I see that your dat has always used his bruder as an excuse to keep you and Phoebe close to home. He’s always been afraid of losing you both, and I never questioned it because I wanted you close too.”
Mamm sighed as she pushed the crumbs on the tablecloth around with her fingertip. “Your dat is a gut man. But he’s not just overprotective; he’s hurting you.” She met Christiana’s gaze, and her blue eyes glistened. “I’m sorry for not defending you better.”
Christiana searched her mother’s eyes. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’ll try harder to convince your dat that Jeff isn’t the enemy. I’ll tell him it’s time to let you grow up and choose your mate. Jeff is a hard worker who’s faithful to the Amish church. And if he makes you froh, we shouldn’t stand in your way. It isn’t our place to stop you from dating him.”
Christiana yelped as she hugged her mamm. “Danki. Danki so much.”
“Gern gschehne.” Mamm touched Christiana’s shoulder. “Just give me a few days. I’ll have to use some approach I haven’t tried before to help him see my point of view.”
“I trust you.” Christiana smiled, the first true smile she’d had in weeks.
* * *
Christiana stepped onto the front porch Wednesday evening and sank into her favorite rocking chair. She breathed in the warm air and took in the brilliant sunset as thoughts of Jeff filled her mind. Tomorrow she was supposed to clean out her booth at the market and say good-bye. The idea of seeing Jeff for the last time filled her with sadness, but she had hope too. For the past few days she’d prayed fervently, asking God to give her mother the right words and to help her father really listen. There was still time.
The screen door opened and clicked shut behind her as Mamm appeared with a tray. “May I join you?”
“Of course.” Christiana smiled as her mother handed her one of two cups of tea and then set the tray on the porch floor. “Danki.”
“Gern gschehne.”
They sipped in silence for a few moments while they both looked
out toward the pastures. Christiana wanted to ask her mother if she and Dat had talked, but she sensed Mamm was about to tell her.
“It’s a schee night,” Mamm said.
“It is.” Christiana turned toward her mother and took in the way her lips formed a flat line. Something was wrong.
“I need to talk to you,” Mamm said.
“Oh?” Christiana tried to swallow her growing trepidation.
Mamm’s sigh seemed to make her shoulders sag. “I’ve spoken to your daed about Jeff.”
“And . . .” Christiana held her breath.
“I’m sorry, Christiana, but he refuses to change his mind. He insists that you can’t see Jeff or sell your baked goods at the marketplace.” Mamm placed her hand on top of Christiana’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ve been praying and asking God for the right words to help you. I’m so very sorry that I couldn’t change his mind. I truly did my best.”
Christiana nodded as grief consumed her.
“I can’t stand to see you so bedauerlich. It’s breaking my heart, but I can’t seem to fix this.” Mamm’s voice broke as her eyes filled with tears.
“Danki for trying,” Christiana whispered as her own tears rolled down warm cheeks.
Mamm cleared her throat and handed Christiana some tissues from her pocket. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Ya.” Christiana nodded, but her broken heart said otherwise.
Mamm took a long drink of tea and then stood. “I’m going to go back inside. Are you coming?”
“I think I’ll sit out here for a few minutes.”
Mamm studied her. “Do you want me to stay?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes alone.”
“All right. Remember, I’m here if you want to talk.” Mamm lifted the tray from the floor and stepped into the house. The door clicked shut behind her.
As soon as Christiana was alone, she heaved a deep breath. Then anguish poured from every cell of her body. Burying her face in her hands, she sobbed. Hopelessness overwhelmed her. She’d lost Jeff forever, and she could do nothing about it.
Somehow she had to accept that the man she loved would no longer be a part of her life. But how would her heart ever heal?
Only God could heal her heart. She closed her eyes and begged him for relief.
28
Jeff stepped into his booth the following morning and froze. Freeman Kurtz was standing at his slightly charred worktable. Worry nearly overwhelmed him as he hurried to the back of his booth and set his lunchbox on a stool that still looked sturdy.
“Did something happen? Is Christiana all right?”
“She’s fine.” Freeman pointed to a stool beside him. “Please, let’s both have a seat. I’d like to speak to you if you have a few moments before the market opens.”
“Ya, of course.” Jeff put his lunchbox on the floor and sat down beside him. “What’s going on?”
“Let me start at the beginning. Mei fraa has been talking to me this week, and one of the things she’s made me realize is that I’ve been wrong about quite a few things, including you.”
When Freeman paused, Jeff opened his mouth, but he couldn’t speak.
Freeman picked at a loose piece of wood on the table. “I had a bruder who died when I was fifteen years old. His name was Aquilla, and he was ten years older than me. He left the Amish church and wound up with a bad crowd. He died of a drug overdose at twenty-five.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Danki. When Aquilla died, everything changed.” Freeman kept his eyes focused on the table as he spoke. “My parents were never the same, and neither was I. Mei dat would go out to the barn at night to be alone, but I caught him crying many times. Mei mamm would retreat to her sewing room, but I heard her sobs. The three of us never got over losing mei bruder.”
Jeff nodded.
“Lynn made me realize that I’ve used Aquilla as an excuse to keep our kinner close to home. I didn’t want Christiana to have a bake stand because I was afraid an Englisher might influence her, but Lynn insisted.” Freeman touched his beard. “I also didn’t want her to come to the market for the same reason. And then she met you.”
Jeff swallowed.
“You were a double threat because Christiana fell in love with you, which meant she could get married and leave us. But also, you’re more worldly than we are because you use electricity.”
Jeff shook his head and opened his mouth to protest, but Freeman held up an index finger.
“Please,” Freeman said. “Just let me finish.” He paused and took a breath. “I was afraid you would corrupt Christiana and lead her to a life similar to what Aquilla experienced. When Christiana and you tried to dissuade me, I kept thinking of how broken my parents were when he died.”
He sat up straight and faced Jeff. “I say Lynn made me realize these things, but the truth is they didn’t sink in until last night when I heard Christiana crying out on the front porch. Lynn told me I was punishing Christiana with my own fears, but I didn’t understand it until I could hear the heartbreak in mei dochder’s sobs. I don’t want to be the cause of mei kind’s pain. If I do that, I’m hurting her as much as Aquilla hurt us with the choices he made.”
The breath stalled in Jeff’s lungs.
“So I’m here today to not only apologize to you but to ask for your forgiveness.” Freeman’s tone shifted to almost pleading. “Will you forgive me for misjudging you and for blaming you for my own fears?”
“Ya, of course.” Jeff’s body thrummed with a mixture of confusion and excitement.
“And if you’re still interested in dating Christiana, I give you my blessing.”
Jeff gasped as he sat up. “Are you serious?”
“Of course I am.”
“I would be honored. Danki so much.” Jeff shook Freeman’s hand as happiness and excitement filtered through him. “Does she know you’re here talking to me?”
“No.” Freeman shook his head. “No one knows. My family thinks I just left for work early today. I did go there, but then I had one of my employees’ drivers bring me here.” He stood. “I’m sorry for all the heartache I’ve caused both you and Christiana. I hope you can find it in your heart to understand my motives, as misguided as they were.”
“I do, and I appreciate your honesty.”
“Gut.” Freeman gave him a curt nod. “You’re a gut, Christian man. I should have seen that from the start.”
“I promise I will cherish Christiana and take gut care of her for as long as she’ll allow me to be a part of her life.”
“I know you will, sohn.” Freeman shook his hand again. “I should get to work, but I’d like to talk to mei dochder first. She should be in her booth by now.”
“To pack up.”
“She thinks she’s here to pack up, but I’m going to tell her she can stay.”
Jeff’s heart soared. “I’m glad you made that decision.”
“I am too.” Freeman smiled. “Have a gut day. I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”
“Ya, you will.” Jeff couldn’t stop a smile.
“And you’re welcome at mei haus.”
“Danki.” The words were like a hymn to Jeff’s ears.
* * *
Christiana entered the market’s back door with a heavy heart. Mamm and Phoebe had offered to help her pack up, but she wanted to do it alone. Besides, she didn’t want them to see her after she’d said her final good-bye to Jeff. Her sorrow was already difficult for them to bear.
Christiana blinked as she rounded the corner into her aisle. She was almost certain her father was coming out of Jeff’s booth, but she had to be imagining the sight. Why would Dat be at the market at all, let alone talking to Jeff? He’d arranged for someone else to come uninstall her oven.
But it was her father, and her stomach soured. Had he come to give Jeff another lecture about staying away from her? She hoped not. Her heart couldn’t take any more arguments about or criticisms of Jeff.
; “Hi.” Dat held his hat in his hands as he approached her. “May I have a word with you?”
“Ya.” She led them into her booth and turned to face him. “Why are you here?”
“I came to apologize to you and Jeff. I just left him.”
Her eyes narrowed as she studied him. Perhaps she should have her hearing checked. “Did you just say you want to apologize?”
“Ya.” His smile was hesitant. “I did.”
“Why?”
“I realized that you and your mamm have been right all along. I was using what happened to mei bruder as an excuse to be overprotective. I was wrong.” He frowned. “I was wrong about Jeff, and I was wrong to keep you away from him. I’m sorry for hurting you. You have my permission to date him and to keep your booth here if you’d like to.”
His lower lip trembled. “I just hope you can forgive me for the pain I’ve caused you.”
“Oh, Dat!” She launched herself into his arms as elation buzzed through her. “You’ve made me so froh. I can’t even tell you how thrilled I am.”
Dat laughed, but then he grew serious again. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that I was hurting you, not protecting you. Your mamm has been talking to me this week. I wouldn’t listen, but then everything she’d been trying to tell me clicked into place when I heard you crying your heart out on the porch last night. I realized that while I was trying to protect you, I was ruining your life.”
“You didn’t ruin my life.” Christiana smiled up at him. “You’ve just made me happier than I’ve ever been.”
“I’m so froh.” Dat touched her cheek. “Danki for forgiving me. I’ve told Jeff that he’s welcome to date you. I trust you to abide by my rules and the church’s rules.”
“Of course.”
He glanced around the booth. “I guess you do want to keep your business open since it’s been flourishing?”
Christiana nodded. “I do. I love the Bake Shop and being here at the market. It means so much to me to have this space to do what I love—share my baked goods as well as spend time with my cousins.”