‘Be careful out there,’ I warn. ‘No leaning over the balcony – I don’t want any accidents.’ I open the sliding doors. ‘Let’s get some fresh air in here.’
Both boys step outside and stare out across the water.
‘Why don’t you take a few minutes to get washed and changed and I’ll meet you downstairs, okay?’
They look at me, their expressions still dazed.
‘Okay?’ I repeat, trying to sound as comforting and kind as I can.
They nod.
I leave them on the balcony, wondering whether they’ll actually do as I asked. Nathan won’t be too happy if they come down to dinner still sweaty and crumpled from a day’s racing. Taking heed of my own advice, I make my way up to our master suite on the top floor, which sits above the boys’ room. I shower quickly and change into a loose-fitting linen dress. A couple of my blisters have already split, so I apply some antiseptic before forcing my feet into a pair of raw-silk mules which are the least painful option after bare feet. But I don’t want to risk Nathan’s disapproval by going barefoot to dinner, not when he seems to be in such a good mood.
Fifteen minutes later, the four of us are seated on the deck with a mountain of Chinese food laid out in the centre of the table. Thankfully, the boys took up my suggestion of getting showered and changed, and they sit next to me with damp hair and pink cheeks, smelling of Bamford shower gel.
Nathan’s given us all chopsticks, but I notice the boys are struggling with theirs, so I nip back into the kitchen to fetch them each a fork, avoiding Nathan’s eye.
‘It’s a great Chinese, right?’ Nathan says. ‘It’s from an award-winning place just out of town. You should try some of the noodles; they’re amazing.’ He holds out the carton, and I watch Sonny attempting to scoop a portion onto his plate, but most of them end up slithering onto the table.
I get to my feet again. ‘Let me…’ I help him dish out a portion, then use a napkin to scoop the runaway noodles off the table and wipe up the stain. I don’t dare look at Nathan. Sloppy eating is one of his bugbears.
Nathan tuts at me. ‘Leave it, Fi, it’s just a bit of sauce. Nothing to worry about.’
Surprised and relieved at my husband’s new laid-back attitude, I sit back down and take a small mouthful of egg fried rice.
Sonny puts his fork down. ‘Mum said we were going to have pizza tonight. Do you think they’ll give her any supper at the police station?’
‘Of course they will.’ I shoot a worried glance over to Nathan. ‘She’ll be having a lovely dinner there; don’t you worry about that.’
‘How do you know?’ Ryan asks.
‘Because Ash will be there making sure your mum’s okay,’ I reply.
‘Why did they take her to the police station anyway?’ Sonny asks, his chin trembling. ‘She didn’t do anything wrong. Is it because of Sophie?’
Ryan glares at his brother. ‘You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.’
‘Who?’ I wrack my brain to think of anyone I know called Sophie, but my mind comes up blank.
Sonny’s cheeks flush. ‘But—’
‘She’s Mum’s friend,’ Ryan says through a mouthful of food. ‘She’s been staying with us.’
‘Why is it okay for you to tell them about Sophie and not me?’ Sonny cries. ‘Anyway, she was in the ambulance when we got back from the regatta. I saw her.’
‘Who was in the ambulance?’ I ask. ‘Your mum or this Sophie person?’
‘Sophie,’ Ryan replies.
Nathan gives me an indecipherable look before turning back to Ryan. ‘And you’re sure Sophie was actually staying in the house with you and your mum?’
‘Yeah, she was staying up in the attic.’
‘And it was supposed to be a secret,’ Sonny adds.
‘Don’t worry,’ I say more brightly than I feel, ‘I’m sure we’ll find out exactly what’s going on tomorrow.’
‘Why don’t we go and see Mum now?’ Sonny asks. ‘We can ask her about it.’
‘We won’t be allowed,’ Ryan says, scowling. ‘Because we’re kids.’
‘Fiona’s right,’ Nathan interjects. ‘We’ll be able to find out more tomorrow. For now, it’s best if you both have an early night so you’re fresh for tomorrow. Your mum won’t want to see you with bags under your eyes.’
‘It’s only six o’clock,’ Ryan says. ‘Only babies go to bed at six. Mum usually lets me stay up till at least nine.’
‘Do you want some more Chinese?’ I ask. ‘There’s lots left.’
‘No thanks.’ Sonny puts his fork down on the plate. Ryan does the same.
They’ve hardly eaten anything. Maybe they didn’t like the food. Or maybe they’re too worried to eat.
‘What about some dessert?’ I turn to my husband. ‘Did you bring those cupcakes home from the regatta?’
‘No, I binned them. You know we don’t keep that sugary crap in the house.’
I incline my head towards the boys to let him know not to use that kind of language in front of our guests, but Nathan screws up his nose at me as if I’m making too big a deal of it.
‘It’s okay,’ Ryan replies, catching on at my unsubtle attempt to shield him and his brother. ‘The kids at school say way worse than that.’
‘You see, Fi.’ Nathan grins at Ryan. ‘I’m down with the kids.’
‘Fair enough.’ I give a wry laugh, pleased that the ice has broken a little. It’s funny that we’ve known these boys since they were born, but we don’t really know them at all. I feel a little out of my depth. At least Nathan seems to be at ease with them.
After dinner, despite the early hour, the boys seem keen to go up to their room. I show them the TV hidden in the armoire, but they turn their noses up, preferring their phones and earbuds.
‘Nathan and I will be just downstairs if you need anything. There’s a mini fridge up here, with drinks and snacks, but make sure you brush your teeth after, okay?’
They nod.
‘Our bedroom is on the next floor up if you need anything during the night, okay? Oh, and close the balcony doors if you switch the light on or you’ll be bitten to death by the bugs.’
Again, they nod.
I really want to hug them, but I also don’t want to make them uncomfortable, so I settle for tousling their hair and blowing them each a kiss. I leave the room, thankful they have each other to talk to. They must be so confused, poor mites. I wonder what on earth Kelly can have done to get herself arrested. It’s bound to be a misunderstanding. Kelly wouldn’t hurt a fly. And who on earth is this Sophie woman the boys were talking about?
Downstairs, Nathan has ensconced himself in the lounge and is on his phone scrolling through social media. I clear away the remains of the Chinese, clean down the surfaces and set the dishwasher going before joining him.
He pats the sofa and I sit next to him. ‘Thanks for getting the food in.’
He doesn’t look up. ‘I didn’t really have much choice, did I, Fi?’
At his words, I hold myself very still. I had thought Nathan was cool with us having Kelly’s children to stay, but I obviously misread the situation.
He continues looking at his phone for a while, and I wonder if I should leave him to it. I’m just about to get up and leave the room when he shifts around in his seat and looks directly at me. ‘You knew how much I’d been looking forward to today,’ he says through gritted teeth, tossing his phone down on the sofa. ‘This race was the one day I got to relax and do something I love. My chance to show this town who I am. And then I actually win the race and hope that my wife might be a just a little bit excited for me. Just a little bit proud or pleased or whatever. I hoped that we could come home and relax, or maybe even go out and celebrate together. But, no. You couldn’t give a shit about my feelings.’ He curls his lip in disgust. ‘You’re more concerned with your hippy friend who’s managed to fuck up her life with no thought for her own kids and is expecting everyone else to pick up the pieces.’ He shakes his head.
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My stomach has descended to the floor and I can hardly breathe. I don’t know what to say to make this better, so I say nothing. The only saving grace is that he’s speaking in a low whisper so at least the boys won’t be able to hear him.
‘And what were you thinking, offering to look after her kids? We don’t even know how long she’ll be held in custody. It could be days, weeks, months even. We’re not taking on that responsibility. Not with everything else we’ve got going on in our lives.’
I want to defend myself. To say that Kelly is my best friend. That if the tables were turned she would do the same for me. But instead I stay silent, my heart thumping, the egg fried rice congealing in my throat, the noodles slithering around in my stomach like worms.
The way he was acting around Ryan and Sonny – all jovial and light-hearted – I thought he liked them. But I realise now it was all an act. Nathan wants everyone to love him. Deep down he’s insecure. He’s like a little boy himself. I should have known that having Ryan and Sonny to stay was a bad idea. But what else could I do? I couldn’t turn down Kelly’s request.
‘You’ll have to get rid of them tomorrow,’ Nathan hisses. ‘And keep them out of my way. You know how I feel about kids.’
Right on cue, Sonny calls out to me from the staircase – it turns out we forgot to bring his homework with us and he needs to have done it by Monday.
‘Don’t worry, mate, Aunty Fi will pop back for it,’ Nathan calls out to him. He turns back to me and drops his voice. ‘Just as well you’re going out; I can’t stand to look at you right now. Just get out of my sight.’ His eyes have grown so dark I can no longer see my reflection in them.
I stand as if in a dream, as though my mind is removed from my body. Nathan has only ever hit me a couple of times before and I don’t want to give him an excuse to do it a third time. I keep my eyes trained on the ground and I leave the room, closing the door quietly behind me.
Twenty-Seven
TIA
Lurching in through the front door, I close it behind me and lean back against the cool wood, shutting my eyes and enjoying a momentary feeling of safety. Although I’m kidding myself. It isn’t safe here, or anywhere. The person behind the photos can contact me whenever they like. They know where I live, they have my phone number. They’re toying with me. Enjoying their little game, whatever it is.
It has to be Fiona. She didn’t want to talk to me at the regatta – avoiding my gaze and acting awkwardly around me. She’s guilty as hell. I know she is. I want to scream with frustration. I wish I could block all of it out and go back to how my life used to be, before the photos. There’s half a bottle of white wine in the fridge that I could quite happily polish off right now. That would go some way to helping me forget.
Snapping open my eyes, I march into the kitchen, stride past the fridge, and pour myself a tall glass of water. I gulp it down and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Then I pour myself another glass and sip this one more slowly. It soothes my parched throat and lessens the pounding in my head. Now is not the time to get drunk and wallow. Ed will be back with the children soon and then I’ll be caught up in bathtime and bedtime and I won’t have the headspace to think about anything.
I need an ally. A friend. Someone to help me look at this clearly. To help me to decide what to do. I need to speak to Kelly and tell her the whole truth about what’s been going on. I sit at the kitchen table and call her number but, annoyingly, it goes straight to voicemail.
‘Hey, Kels, it’s me. Hope Ryan’s okay after today. He did so well, bless him. Look, I really need to talk to you. Would it be okay if I came over just for half an hour or so? Call me back and let me know, okay? Or message if easier. Love you.’
I get up and start pacing the length of the kitchen, clutching my phone and waiting for Kelly to call me back. Maybe her mobile’s run out of battery. She might not check her messages until tomorrow and I really can’t stand the idea of waiting all night to speak to her.
After a few more minutes of pacing and staring at my silent phone, I go upstairs, shower and get changed into a comfy tracksuit. Then I come back down, busy myself with some household chores and begin getting supper ready for when Ed gets in with the kids. They eventually bustle in through the front door in a whirlwind of laughter and excitement. My heart fills with love as they burst into the kitchen with tales of carousels and candy floss. Their presence only strengthens my resolve. I can’t lose my family because of some horrible vindictive person out there.
‘So you had a terrible time at the fair, then?’ I tease.
‘No, silly.’ Rosie giggles. ‘It was a good time not a terrible time.’
‘Yeah, silly Mummy!’ Leo pretends to be cross and waggles his finger at me. ‘We went round on the big wheel really high up in the sky like we was flying.’
‘You were flying?’
‘We weren’t really flying, Leo,’ Rosie says.
‘Yes we was!’
‘How was Nathan?’ I wind my arms around Ed. ‘I hope he didn’t go on too much about winning. You did amazingly seeing as it was your first ever race.’
‘I was terrible, Tee, but thanks for stroking my ego. Nathan was all right. Just giving me a bit of friendly banter, you know. He didn’t actually stay too long; had to rush off to pick up some food or something.’ Ed’s gaze lands on the table and he makes a big deal of sniffing the air. ‘Something smells good. Shepherd’s pie?’
‘I know it’s not the right weather for a hot meal, but after all that picnic food today I thought it would be good to have a proper dinner. And, as you’ve got the night off, I didn’t think it was fair that you should cook.’
‘I love you, Mrs Perry.’ Ed comes over and gives me a kiss. ‘Shall I make a salad?’
‘Already done and in the fridge. Sit down, I’ll go and bath the kids.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yep.’
An hour later, the children are in bed and the dishes are soaking in the sink.
‘Fancy watching a movie?’ Ed asks as he comes down the stairs having kissed the children good night. ‘It’s our lucky night – both of them have zonked straight out. All that fresh air and excitement.’
‘Actually, Ed, would you mind if I popped over to see Kelly? I want to make sure she’s okay after Ryan’s meltdown.’ I feel bad stretching the truth, but I can’t very well tell Ed why I really want to visit my friend.
‘Uh, yeah, sure.’ He looks a little disappointed and I feel bad.
‘You can have full control of the remote, maybe watch an action movie.’
He grins. ‘Now you’re talking. Okay, send Kelly my love, won’t you.’
I give my husband a quick peck, fetch my handbag and head out into the warm evening air. Kelly still hasn’t replied to my message, but I figure if I show up on her doorstep she won’t have the heart to turn me away. I feel a faint stirring of optimism in my chest. Kelly will help me sort this out, I know she will. As I walk, the scent of barbecues wafts over painted fences and fragrant hedges. Snatches of teenage laughter and the ebb and flow of pumping basslines from passing cars reminds me of what life used to be like when I was younger.
As I draw closer to Kelly’s house, doubts begin to flare up. Will Kelly believe that the images have been faked? I stuffed the envelope of photos into my bag to show them to her. But the thought of another person – even Kelly – seeing them makes me feel nauseous. I can’t back out of this now. Even if my friend is disapproving, at least I can trust her not to say anything to anyone else.
I turn into Kelly’s road, my hand resting protectively on my bag. I’m paranoid that someone’s going to mug me, take my bag and find the images. When I reach Kelly’s drive, I’m shocked to see that her front door has been covered over by a huge sheet of plywood. What the hell? Has she had a break-in or something?
I ring the doorbell, but it’s obvious she can’t open the front door with it boarded up like that, so maybe I should go around the back. Before I turn to go
, the curtain at the lounge window twitches, making me jump. I swallow down a dart of fear. This is ridiculous. It was obviously Kelly or one of the boys. I walk over to the window and rap on the glass. ‘Ryan? Kelly? Are you there? It’s me, Tia!’ Cupping my hands around my face, I peer in, but I can’t see anyone inside; it’s too dark. I ring the doorbell again, but I’m beginning to get really creeped out. Despite Kelly’s car being parked in the drive, it feels as though the house is deserted. Abandoned. Which is crazy, because Kelly would’ve told me if she was going away.
‘Tia? What are you doing here?’
I turn to see Fiona coming around the side of the house. My fear dissolves and my hackles rise. Why is she here? ‘Fi… hi. I’ve come to see Kelly.’
‘Oh.’ She doesn’t look herself. She seems somehow smaller and a little crumpled, her hair not as shiny as usual.
‘Why are you here?’ I ask, sounding sharper than I mean to. ‘Is Kelly in? What happened to the front door?’
Fiona sighs. ‘It’s a bit of a long story.’
‘What do you mean? Are they okay?’
‘The boys are staying at my place. Nathan and I are looking after them while Kelly is… well…’
‘While Kelly is what?’
‘Uh…’ Fiona turns one way and then the other, like she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She seems to have lost all of her usual poise. ‘Why don’t we go inside?’
I follow Fiona around the back of the house and into the kitchen, which seems somehow more forlorn than usual. It smells stale, and feels chilly and strange, as though the heart has been ripped out of it. I wonder what can have happened so that Kelly’s boys have gone to stay at Fiona’s place. She isn’t exactly the maternal type. I would have had them to stay with me, if only Kelly had asked.
We sit at the kitchen table and I wait for Fiona to tell me what’s going on. It’s all so strange that I wonder if this has anything to do with the photos I’ve been sent. Is it more than a coincidence that Fiona is here – at the scene of another strange situation?
One of Us Is Lying: A totally gripping psychological thriller with a brilliant twist Page 17