by Lori Ryan
And Kurt? Well, Kurt had walked away without a backward glance. She’d been with other men here or there, but never risked her heart after that.
The only times she’d risked her heart, it had been trampled on.
And with Gabe, PJ was no idiot. She knew her heart was on the line in a way it had never been before. All of those foolish entries in her journal about her feelings for those other men…. They were nothing compared to what she already felt for Gabe.
And, that scared the crap out of her. She might want Gabe more than she’d ever wanted any other man, but she wasn’t willing to take a chance on seeing where things might go with him.
What would happen when he got tired of her and walked away? That would do her in. It would finish her. So she did the only thing she could to protect her heart.
“I don't think you should come back with me, Gabe,” PJ said, standing taller and looking him in the eye. She saw the pain in his eyes, his confusion.
“What? Why, Pru?” His voice was quiet and low, sending an unwanted chill up her spine. He stepped in even closer to her and she had to put a hand out to his chest to steady herself.
Contact. Big mistake. She drew her hand back quickly.
“I think I need to do this on my own for now. I need to deal with this myself.”
His eyes went wide, and she could feel the intensity of his stare as she glanced away. “Look, Gabe, I...I haven’t really done very well in the relationship department. It.... They don’t tend to end very well for me. And, it’s just.... It’s not something I want to go through right now. I just need to deal with this – to focus on this stalker or blackmailer or whatever this person is. I just need to face this and stop running and deal with this…this—”
“Try ‘killer.’ Killer is the word you’re looking for. This person killed Jimmy, and now he’s flat out told you he’s coming after you, and you’re planning to run into his arms completely unprotected,” Gabe said, anger rolling off him, palpable and more than a little intense.
She raised her chin. “Fine. Killer. But I’m not going back completely unprotected. I’ll have Chad and Zach and their whole team with me. And, my own security guys,” she finished.
“Who haven’t actually been cleared by Chad and who’ve done a piss-poor job of protecting you so far. For all we know, it could be one of them,” Gabe all but growled.
PJ nodded slowly. She knew he wanted to protect her, but she couldn’t bring herself to allow it. She couldn’t rely on him. No.
Any time she’d tried to depend on a man sticking around, it had gone horribly wrong. She’d fix this herself and then decide where her career would go from here. Maybe it was time to think about retiring. Or, at least slowing down a bit.
“I’ll have Chad and Zach,” she said quietly and slipped out from between Gabe and the counter, taking the first deep breath since she’d decided to tell him she needed to stand on her own two feet.
She ducked into the guest room and shut the door, leaning her head back against it as she let a few tears fall. She swiped at them and squeezed her eyes shut. She was doing the right thing—she was sure of it.
It might feel like she’d just been run over by a Mack truck, both emotionally and physically, but pulling away before he hurt her was the smart decision. And, PJ was all about trying to be smarter nowadays. She’d made enough stupid mistakes to last a lifetime.
Gabe didn’t care what PJ said. He wouldn’t be leaving her alone anytime soon. His car left his Connecticut home just moments after hers. They’d drive to the airport in separate cars, and he’d be flying a separate plane to Denver, but he’d be there as soon as she arrived. With any luck, he might get in ahead of her.
Shit. He knew he was beginning to look a bit like a stalker himself. In fact, if PJ knew how much he’d tried to match his own work schedule to her tour dates in the past; how much he’d kept an eye on her when she was staying at his hotels; how many extra little services he’d arranged for that had nothing to do with her VIP status and everything to do with his feelings for her, well shit. She probably would have run from him a lot faster than she had.
He wasn’t sure when he’d started to fall for Pru. It hadn’t been when they first met. He knew that. At the time, she’d been nineteen and he was twenty-nine. He was still heavily entrenched in building his chain of hotels, in beating back the memories of a ruined family he would never be able to recover, and she’d been just a sweet teenage pop star who stayed at his hotels. And then, one day, he’d looked up while attending a fundraiser, and she wasn’t a teenager anymore. And, she no longer instilled sweet thoughts in him.
He had been about to approach her to say hello when one of his ex-girlfriends had swooped in and cut him off, hanging on his arm and draping herself over him in a drunken effort to hold his attention. But, what he’d noticed was Pru’s look. She had looked at him...in a critical way. Like she knew the kind of man he was—a man who went through women faster than clean shirts—and her expression told him she wasn’t interested in having anything to do with a man like that. He can’t say he really blamed her. At the time, it was true—he dated a lot. A whole lot.
So he’d kept his distance. But, over time, they had talked when they found themselves at events together. He was drawn to her. Then, they started meeting on the rooftop gardens of the Towers where they talked a lot more. Got to know more about each other.
He had told her she could come up to his rooftop garden anytime he was in the hotel at the same time she was if she needed to escape the madness of her world, if she needed peace and privacy.
But now? Well, now he wanted more than occasional chats on rooftop gardens. He wanted to see where this would go with her. Good time or not, he wanted to pursue this relationship. And he sure as hell wouldn’t walk away while she was in danger. He’d be there with her through this whether she wanted him there or not. And, in the end, he’d find a way to convince her he wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t going to move on to the next model or actress or whatever. He wanted Pru.
Chad and Zach knew Gabe planned to follow her back to the hotel. They couldn’t do much to stop him, and it didn’t appear as if she had asked them to do anything about it, so they let him do his thing.
He stepped out of the town car at the airport and strode up the steps to his private jet. He’d call Chad from the plane to be sure PJ got on her plane all right. She hadn’t let him give her his jet to use so he’d arranged for her to borrow Jack’s. He didn’t want her flying commercial at a time like this. The press would be all over her, and she wouldn’t have a minute’s peace on a commercial flight.
Chapter 16
Pru followed Chad off the de Havilland jet, her guitar slung over one shoulder. She’d played a little on the flight, but she still felt as if she were somehow cut off from her music. It left a hollow ache in her stomach.
Zach flanked her and the steward carried her bag behind her. Her eyes landed immediately on the limousine and black SUV parked on the tarmac near the plane.
Well, those weren’t exactly what her eyes fell on. No, they locked on Gabe who leaned casually against the limo, his long legs crossed and his phone in hand, looking like he was answering an email or text. Then he put his phone in his pocket and glanced up. He smiled and waved at her.
Waved. As though she hadn’t told him she didn’t want him there.
“Can we have a minute, guys?” Gabe asked, looking at Chad and Zach as PJ only stared at him. She had a feeling her jaw was on the ground, but she didn’t care. The man just didn’t give up.
As ticked off as she was about that, certain unmentionable girlie parts were doing a little happy dance over the same. But worse, her heart was skipping wildly in her chest. Darn him.
Chad and Zach nodded and stepped over to the SUV, while Gabe opened the back door to the limo for her and ushered her inside. The privacy partition was up, separating the back of the car from the prying eyes and ears of the driver.
PJ waited for Gabe to explain
himself, watching warily as his eyes pierced hers. He sighed and pulled her across the seat into his lap where she squirmed in response. He slapped a strong arm across her legs and locked her in place. “Keep that up and we won’t be talking much longer, sweetheart,” he growled.
She stilled. “Gabe, what part of ‘I don’t want you here’ did you not understand?”
“PJ, I’m not Jimmy Mondo or that idiot, Kurt Tolleson. I’m not using you, and I’m not going to get bored and leave you. A long time ago, I thought the age difference between us would be a big deal, but now that we’re older, the difference doesn’t seem so big. I want to be with you. I want to make you happy and help you through this. And, after this is all over, I want to take time to get to know you and let you get to know me and see where this goes. But, I can already tell you where it’s going for me.”
She opened her mouth but he put his finger over it, cutting her off.
“I like you a whole lot more than any other woman I’ve ever been interested in. I love talking to you and hearing you laugh. And I love listening to you and finding out all the quirky things that make you tick.” His eyes were open and honest and there was such emotion in them. Something she’d never seen with any of the men she’d been with before.
He looked down at her lips, and she saw heat flare in his eyes and felt the hard evidence of it beneath her—and that made her want to squirm in a different way.
“I love kissing you and holding you, and I know I’m going to love making love to you when we’re ready for that. Even so, I’m not going to push you because I’m happy to wait until you’re feeling right about this. But, what I’m not willing to do is leave you alone while you’re dealing with so much and while you’re still in danger. So don’t ask me to, Pru.”
PJ’s emotions warred within her. She wanted to sink into his arms and let him hold her, but a very big part of her was afraid she was just turning herself over to another man the way she’d done with Jimmy and with Kurt. She’d given her all to them and in doing so, she had lost herself to them.
But, there was something else she’d felt with them that she didn’t feel here. That she’d been searching for something. Reaching for what she thought she wanted. She’d wanted to feel love and to be loved so much that she didn’t really question whether either was the right man for her. She was more in love with the idea of love with them.
With Gabe, she didn’t feel that. She felt comfortable and safe and happy with him. He seemed to want her just as she was and on her terms. No pressure. She could be her own person when she was with him. She felt more turned on than she could have imagined she’d ever feel with a man.
PJ squirmed again, and Gabe groaned. “You have to stop that, Pru,” he said, his hips raising a bit to grind his long hard length against her.
She gasped and stilled again, then nodded her head.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said.
Gabe’s mouth met hers, soft and warm and slowly seeking. She melted into him, opening herself up to him as he deepened the kiss and pulled her tightly to him. Everything in her sank into him, and she felt herself give up the last bit of resistance to him. She didn’t want to fight him anymore. She wanted his strong arms around her, wanted him standing next to her in this and all the battles she would face down the road in life. She wanted him. Wanted them.
Gabe pressed a button and spoke to the driver, instructing him to head to the hotel. She tried to slide from his lap, but he didn’t let her. One hand played in small circles on her thigh, causing her body to melt with need for him.
She wrapped her arms around him and lowered her head to his shoulder, relaxing for what felt like the first time in days. She didn’t know if she was being smart, but she didn’t care. There wasn’t anywhere else she’d rather be at that moment than in his arms. Except perhaps, in his bed.
He read her mind. “You’ll stay in my suite,” he said.
She shook her head. “No. My team, the press, Gabe––” she started to say, but he squeezed her tighter.
“You’ll stay with me.”
She rolled her eyes. He may have asked her to continue to see where their relationship was going but apparently, he was back to being bossy and demanding again.
So, she’d stay with him. She shrugged internally. Who was she kidding? She wanted to stay with him. This was one time when she didn’t care if he bossed her around.
PJ wasn’t at all prepared for what she saw when they arrived on the rooftop of the Tower Hotel to check in with her team.
She rushed forward to where Ellis sat on a bench in handcuffs surrounded by police officers, and what she could only assume was Zach’s security team that had come out ahead of them. Debra and Lydia looked on with shocked, pale faces and Ellis himself looked horrible. He’d been crying and looked so small as the officers towered over him.
“What are you doing to him? What’s going on?” PJ demanded. This couldn’t be happening.
She felt Gabe come up behind her, one hand on her shoulder as she knelt to see Ellis’s face. He looked at her, tears streaking down his face.
“I’m sorry, PJ,” was all he said. Ellis apologized over and over as the police officers told PJ and the other new arrivals that Zach’s men had found PJ’s thumb drive with her journal on it in Ellis’s luggage, complete with his fingerprints on the drive.
“No,” PJ shook her head and stood to face the officers. “He didn’t do this; he wouldn’t do this.” She was crying now as she looked to Debra and Lydia for help. “Lydia, you know he wouldn’t do this.”
Lydia shook her head. “I’ve called my mom. She’s on her way with a lawyer. They’re going to try to have him taken to a mental hospital instead of lockup tonight, or at least petition to have him transferred as soon as possible. He needs help, PJ.”
PJ turned back to the officers. “I don’t want to press charges.” She probably sounded like a raving lunatic, but she knew in her heart it wasn’t Ellis who had done this to her.
But if so, why wasn’t he speaking up? Why wasn’t he telling them he didn’t do this? Why was he apologizing?
“I won’t press charges,” she said as Gabe put an arm around her.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” one of the officers said. “It’s not up to you. He’s a suspect in the murder of Jimmy Mondo. We’ve got to take him in.”
Gabe leaned in and spoke quietly in PJ’s ear. “Let’s follow them over to the station and be sure his mom has a good lawyer for him. That’s all we can do until this plays out, Pru.”
She looked up at him and nodded, relieved to see in his eyes he believed her about Ellis’s innocence. He believed Ellis didn’t do this…. Well, maybe he didn’t believe that in his heart the way she believed it in hers, but he was willing to listen to her and back Ellis up when she did.
And that meant more to PJ than she could ever say.
She knelt in front of Ellis again. “We’re going to be right behind, you, okay? You’re not going to be on your own in this, you hear me?”
He gave a shaky nod but his eyes were plastered to his lap. He wouldn’t meet her gaze and that gutted her.
Chad came up to them and spoke quietly. “Samantha called. She’s found Erika on video near your hotel in Indianapolis but nothing of her in any of the other overlapping cities. I’ll share the information with the police,” he said, looking over at Ellis. “For what it’s worth.”
Hope hit PJ. Maybe it was Erika the whole time, not Ellis. Gabe squeezed her hand.
PJ crossed to Debra while they waited for the officers to finish up and begin transporting Ellis.
“I did an interview on the flight over here,” PJ told Debra. “I called Whitney Paulsen over at ZNN and did an exclusive with her. She’s always been fair and a lot nicer to deal with than most reporters. I told her the whole story about Jimmy and the baby and the adoption. Since Matthew is all right with this coming out and Jimmy Mondo is dead, I felt I’d rather get it out in the open than continue to hi
de it. At least, that way, no one can hold this over me again.”
Gabe’s arms came around her from behind, and Debra smiled at her. “I think that was a smart move.”
PJ nodded. “It was time. I should have been honest about it from the beginning. What Jimmy did was illegal. I should have dealt with the shame and been honest. I should have gone after him years ago for what he did.”
“You shouldn’t have done that,” came Lydia’s voice behind her.
PJ turned to her in confusion. Lydia’s voice was cold and hard, but when all eyes turned to her, she smiled and waved off the questioning looks.
“I just mean you should have talked to Debra and me about it first. We should have coordinated that together as a team. We could have arranged for more coverage and turned things to your advantage a bit more. We can get a lot of mileage out of this.”
PJ suppressed a sigh and looked at Ellis where he still sat handcuffed and waiting, an officer standing over him. He looked lost and confused and alone, and it broke her heart. “I don’t want mileage out of this, Lydia. I want to get it out in the open and begin to live my life without secrets and fear and humiliation. I’m not looking to profit from this.”
Lydia shook her head. “No, of course not. I’m sorry, PJ. I should have thought before I blurted that out. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
PJ watched as the officers helped Ellis stand, his hands still cuffed behind his back. His voice shook as he spoke, seemingly to no one in particular.
“Why didn’t she love me?” he asked and PJ’s heart broke for him. He turned teary eyes to his sister who looked back at him, her expression blank. “Why, Lydia, why?”
Chapter 17
Gabe stayed by PJ’s side as they made their way to the police station. Ellis’s mom arrived shortly after and the attorney she had with her appeared to be more than competent.