“You don’t think it’s weird that you’re having my leftovers?”
“Uh, I hadn’t thought of it like that.” Emma wanted to crawl under the table and pretend she was invisible.
“Emms, what is going on with you? First, the closet karaoke singing then this secret thing with Tanner?” Bella frowned with indignation, and she was just getting warmed up. One thing about Bella, she had her opinions and wasn’t shy about voicing them.
Emma was indignant, too. Bella was being a—a bitch. “You’re upset because suddenly you aren’t the center of attention. Both Avery and I have gone against Izzy’s wishes and now you’re not the only rebel in the family. You crave being a rebel. You embrace it. We’re moving in on your act.”
Bella stuttered several times before she got the words out. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You think you have everyone figured out. You aren’t even close, especially when it comes to Tanner. Just because Izzy and Avery tamed their bad boys, doesn’t mean you have the tools to do so.”
“Because I’m the good girl of the family? Sweet Emma, she never does anything wrong, always behaves, always tries to please everyone. Well, I’m tired of being that person.”
Bella laughed. “Then be a new person some other way. Tanner is out of your league. Way out. He is so not your type of guy.” Bella was working up steam, but so was Emma. She’d never stood up to her family before, especially not Bella, her personal idol. Yet, Bella had hurt her feelings, and like a wounded animal, Emma struck back.
“Tanner’s a nice guy.”
“Oh, Emms. That’s the problem. Of course, he’s a nice guy on the surface. That’s all part of his act. Inside he’s a selfish, egotistical asshole. You’re a means to an end. He doesn’t care about you.”
Emma refused to show how much Bella’s words stung and decided to deflect the subject back to Bella. “Are you jealous of us?”
Bella threw back her head and laughed. “Not at all. I hate seeing you making a big mistake, that’s all. You two won’t last more than six months.”
Emma was hurt, but she tried not to show it. She sat up straighter and forced herself not to cry. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Emms, I’m sorry to be so blunt, but—”
“No, you’re not. Not at all. You don’t want him, but you don’t want anyone else to have him either.”
“How will you ever know who he’s really thinking of when you have sex with him?” Bella countered, her claws out and her hackles raised.
Emma had a few claws of her own. “You think you’re so memorable he’ll only think of you? Then why isn’t he with you right now?”
Bella touched her hand, and Emma jerked away. “There’s no easy way to say this. We were together as soon as a month ago, yet you claim this thing with Tanner started months ago?”
Emma’s eyes opened wide, not because Tanner had cheated on her, since he hadn’t, but because he’d been with her sister so recently. She’d thought they’d called it quits several months ago.
“Do you really want to be with a guy you can’t trust?”
“We never had an exclusive relationship until recently. I told him I didn’t want to know about the others,” Emma lied, a little shocked at how easily the fib rolled off her tongue.
Bella rolled her eyes. “I can see this conversation is going nowhere.”
“You’re right, it’s not. I expected you of all the sisters to understand.”
“Oh, I understand all right, I just don’t approve. He’s a player, Emms. You aren’t prepared for a guy like this.”
“I’m twenty-three years old. I didn’t ask for your approval or anyone else’s.” Emma sniffled, turning away from Bella.
“That,” Bella said pointing, “is exactly why you can’t handle a guy like Tanner. He’ll eat you up and spit you out. You want love, commitment, and forever. All he can give you is hot sex, a hollow promise, and tonight.”
“I’m going back to the barn now. You don’t need to give me a ride. It’s only a mile, and I could use the walk.”
“Fine,” Bella said stiffly, as she stood and stomped out of the coffee shop.
Emma stared after her and took a sip of her cold coffee and wondered how she’d ended up in this mess.
* * * *
Tanner came home after an early morning of fishing and catching nothing. He paced around his trendy waterfront condo on Lake Washington, too restless to concentrate on even something as second nature to him as working out. He decided to drop in on Emma. After all, it was ten A.M. on a Saturday morning. They’d never gone on an official date. He’d ask her out to dinner for tonight and get an update on the wedding plans, all while enjoying the delectable scenery. Thoughts of her face, her smile, her body drove him absolutely fricking nuts. He didn’t understand his reaction to her, but there it was.
This whole marriage thing should have him breaking out in hives; instead a part of him—most likely his dick—looked forward to living and sleeping with her—especially sleeping. Okay not exactly sleeping because neither of them would actually be sleeping.
Tanner had never lived a normal life, and this temporary marriage to Emma gave a semblance of normal to an otherwise abnormal background.
He pulled into the driveway and parked, glad to see her car had been returned as promised. Striding into the barn, he whistled a nineties boy-band tune, one of his guilty pleasures. Tanner took the stairs two at a time and knocked on Emma’s door, unable to stop his grin. She didn’t answer, but that old, battered Subaru was parked outside. She had to be around here somewhere.
He walked down the long barn aisle. Horses contentedly munched on their hay, a few pausing to check him out in case he came bearing treats. He gave them a thumbs-down.
The place seemed oddly quiet for a Saturday afternoon, but what the hell did he know? Maybe that was par for the course at a horse barn. Maybe horses took Saturdays off. Hearing an odd sound, like a wounded animal, Tanner walked to the back of the barn and paused to listen. Not an animal, but a female, and she was sobbing. Oh, God, how he avoided crying females. Any other place and time, he’d run, but fear threatened to overwhelm him. What if Emma had been injured by a horse? What if she was lying outside bleeding to death? What if—? He forced himself to stop behaving like a neurotic boyfriend and stepped into the morning sun.
Emma sat hunched over on a bench, hands covering her eyes, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Tanner’s heart reached out to her in sympathy, while his hands fisted, ready to kill the guy who’d made her cry. He’d never been so affected by a woman’s tears, except his sister. Thinking of Jenny sliced his heart open once again, exposing a wound which would never heal. He never wanted Emma to feel this kind of pain, and he swore in that moment that he’d do everything in his power to keep those tears out of her eyes, a tall order for a guy who didn’t plan on making this marriage permanent.
Tanner plopped his ass next to her on the bench and put his arm around her, pulling her close to his side. She glanced up at him through tear-filled eyes, her eyelids puffy and swollen. Her lower lip quivered, and she hiccupped.
“Ah, Emmie, what’s wrong?” he said, his heart breaking for her.
She shook her head and buried her face in his chest. She sobbed into his shirt, fisting the fabric in her hands. Tanner held her, completely out of his element and not sure what to do. He’d never been the guy who stuck around when a woman got upset like this. Instead he ran like hell.
He should’ve left when he’d realized she was crying. She hadn’t seen him, but he’d ventured into the gauntlet despite all his internal warnings to get out fast.
Now he was stuck with a blubbering woman in his arms, yet he didn’t want to be anywhere else but here comforting her. He couldn’t explain it, didn’t understand it, and decided to just go with it.
He didn’t know how long he held her or how long she cried in his arms. He did know his left arm was numb and his shirt was soaked completely through. Through all the blub
bering, he felt a measure of satisfaction by being the man to comfort her. Finally she lifted her head, sniffed, and managed a feeble smile.
He used the bottom of his T-shirt to blot the last of her tears.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“No need to thank me; it goes with the territory.”
“Territory?”
“Yeah, I am your fiancé, remember?” He tried a crooked smile.
She nodded, her lower lip quivered, and she looked ready to start crying all over again. Well, shit, this was about him. He’d put those tears in her eyes. “What is it, Emmie?” he repeated using his new nickname for her.
“I—I had coffee with my sister earlier, and she’s not happy about us.”
“Izzy?”
Emma shook her head and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “No, Bella.”
“Oh.” He couldn’t think of anything to say. Bella and Tanner infrequently had booty calls, nothing more than that. “What’s her issue?”
“You said we’d been secretly dating for months. You’ve been with her within the month.”
“Shit,” he swore, knowing he’d been caught in one of his lies. He hadn’t counted on Izzy or Avery sharing the entire conversation from last night with Bella. What a dumb shit, he should’ve known better.
“She says you aren’t to be trusted.”
Tanner pulled her closer and held her. “Emmie, I promise I will never cheat on you as long as we’re together. Never. I’m not that guy.”
She didn’t look like she believed him, and he couldn’t blame her. Funny, but he’d been that guy. He hadn’t cheated on his former girlfriends, but he’d always been on the lookout for greener pastures. Once he got bored with a woman, he broke up with her and headed to the next one. Only Emma was different, and he wasn’t sure why.
If this relationship followed the course of the others, eventually the newness would wear off, and he’d go in search of someone else. Before he did that, he’d break it off—okay, divorce her. Just thinking about those words made his stomach ache. Theirs wouldn’t be a simple break up; it’d have all the angst and drama associated with divorce—when it happened.
If it happened.
Why the hell was he fretting about this now? They hadn’t even said I do. They hadn’t spent one night together, and he sure as hell couldn’t wait for their wedding night.
He had so much to teach her about sex, and he relished the idea of being her tutor. Maybe she’d rub off on him and teach him a thing or two about being a genuinely good person. That part of him had been broken for so long, and he’d faked it to the point where he didn’t know where his fabrications ended and real emotions began. He was all kinds of fucked up, and now he was dragging her into his darkness. Only he refused to think about that now.
“Do you think she’ll tell your sisters?” Or even worse, his brother.
“No, because she’ll look as guilty as you.” Emma tried a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“If you want out of this, it’s not too late.”
“Only if you want out.” Emma looked up at him with her tear-streaked face and luminous blue eyes, and those eyes wrote her name on a small piece of his heart, a place he’d reserved for his sister.
“I don’t,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion which shouldn’t have been there, yet there it was. He kissed each cheek and squeezed her hands. “Go out to dinner with me tonight on our first real date. Please?”
Her face, so sad a moment ago, lit up. “I’d love to.”
He smiled back. Making her happy made him happier than he’d been in a long time.
Chapter 6—Home Field
Emma worked for Izzy’s party crashing business a few days a week and also worked the lunch shift at a nearby café. She’d barely made it to work on time after her meltdown and Tanner’s subsequent appearance. He’d asked her why she didn’t quit the waitress job, and she said she’d consider it.
Tanner had money, but it wasn’t hers and never would be hers. She believed him when he said he’d make marriage to him worth her while. Only she didn’t want his money. She wanted his heart. If she couldn’t have that, she’d take him up on a start at a singing career, regardless of how angry it might make her sisters. This was her life, darn it. Not theirs.
Emma left the cafe around four o’clock and spent the rest of the afternoon fretting over what to wear on her first official date with Tanner. She laughed at the ludicrous position she’d found herself in, never on a date but engaged to be married. Seriously? She must have fallen into an alternate reality or something.
After trying on almost every dress she owned, she decided on a soft pink sundress with a flirty skirt and simple white sandals. She left her hair down in loose curls and put on her usual conservative makeup. She was ready over an hour early. So typical of her.
Unable to stand being cooped up in her small apartment, she went downstairs and ran into Avery, just finishing up with a horse. Avery glanced at her, looking away quickly, but Emma caught the hurt in her sister’s eyes.
“Go ahead, hit me with your best shot. Bella already took aim first thing this morning.”
“She must have been thrilled to have another sister follow her into debauchery,” Avery said, still not meeting her gaze.
“Actually, she wasn’t.” Emma stared at her pink toenails for moment. “Ave, I’m sorry.”
“You should’ve told me.” Avery busied herself, taking the saddle off the gelding and rubbing his back with a towel.
“I—I wanted to.”
“You’ve had a crush on him forever. That’s been no secret in our family. But this?”
“I know.” Emma pushed her guilt to the side, too weary after her confrontation with Bella to deal with another heavy dose of sister love in the form of attempting to control her.
“When’s the last time he’s been with Bella? Don’t you find that way too weird?”
“I don’t know,” she lied, hating herself for lying to her twin.
“Tanner said you’ve been seeing each other for a long time. Define long time.”
Emma wouldn’t lie to her twin, not anymore. She heaved a huge sigh. “Less than a month, and we haven’t really been seeing each other. We met at karaoke a few times on Wednesday nights.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it. You know how Tanner loves to spin tales.”
“That’s a good amount of spinning.” Avery blew out a breath and leaned against the large horse, while scratching his neck.
“Sure is.”
Avery laughed then sobered quickly. “What about the singing? How long?”
“Several months.”
“Everyone knows you’re the most talented among us, and that’s saying a lot. Why keep your singing a secret?”
“Because we had a pact never to get into music.”
“Izzy had a pact; we just went along with it. You have awesome talent. Why not use it?”
“You honestly think that?”
“Yes, I do—it’s just karaoke, after all—but right now I’m more concerned about this ridiculous marriage. This is nuts. You don’t even know the guy. He’s using you to make himself look good to Steelheads’ management.”
“Maybe I’m using him, too. Do you know what a boost marriage to him could give my singing career?”
“You want a singing career?” Avery frowned and stood up straight.
“I don’t know. I have no idea what I want. I’m going to finish my senior year, get my degree, and worry about it later.”
“You’ve always wanted to teach, Emms.”
“I still do. I love little kids, but I love to sing, too.”
“You never mentioned wanting to be a singer.” Avery slumped down onto a nearby bench and scrubbed her face with her hands, a gesture she must have picked up from Isaac.
“I wasn’t sure. I still don’t know.” Emma met her sister’s gaze and dropped next to her on the bench. “I’ve always wanted to know if I had
what it took. If I could do it. Make it.”
Avery shook her head. “I’m all about following dreams, but I don’t think this is a dream you truly want, Emms. Look at our parents and what fame did to them and the bigger mess they made trying to get back on the charts again.”
“I know, but this would be different.”
“No, it would not.” Avery shot to her feet, hands on her hips, and glared at Emma. “You don’t belong in that world of free love, drugs, and parties every night. I don’t want to see you changed into a person like our mother.”
So that was what this was all about. Her sister’s issues had everything to do with her wanting to make it as an artist in a dog-eat-dog entertainment world, and not so much to do with Tanner.
“Trust me, Ave, I have a better head on my shoulders than Mom.”
Avery didn’t dispute that. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I didn’t either when I saw you falling for Isaac, but I got to know him, and I supported you. Support me, Ave. Please, of all the sisters, I need you in my corner.”
Avery chewed on her lower lip and stared straight ahead. “With Tanner, too?”
“Yeah, unless that’s asking too much.”
Avery laughed. “Oh, probably, but who am I to judge? You love him, don’t you?”
“I’ve always loved him, ever since I first saw him playing for the U-Dub, I knew he was for me.”
Avery started to roll her eyes, but Emma shot her a glare.
“I want to make this work, and I think I can. I want the chance.”
“I understand your motives. It’s Tanner’s motives that are questionable.”
“Time will tell.”
“Yeah, and I’ll be here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.” Avery hugged her, and Emma hugged her back.
She hoped there’d be no pieces to pick up.
* * * *
Tanner walked out of the Bridge, shaking his head in amazement. Carson Reynolds had just offered the use of his family’s Madrona Island estate for the upcoming wedding. The estate and old mansion had been built by Reynolds’ ancestors a century ago. The family sold it in the fifties, after which it became a resort. A few years ago, they picked it up in a fire sale after the previous owners went bankrupt. Carson’s brother Jake had taken on the painstaking task of restoring the mansion to its former glory, one small bit at a time. Now Emma and Tanner would be a small part of the grand old estate’s history. He liked that idea.
Blindsided: Seattle Steelheads Football (Game on in Seattle Book 6) Page 9