Metronomes
Traditionally used to set a steady tempo for performance of Western music, a metronome is any device that produces a steady visual, auditory or tactile pulse at a specific speed. Since tempo is always measured in beats per minute, a metronome can be set to beat in time with the pulse of a human heart, and thus provide an outside stimulus for altered states involving the rhythm of the heart.
Kink Tools
All traditional tools that involve a desire to use this path for sacred exploration or personal journeying can be applied to erotic adventures. However, there are specific kink tools that are not commonly discussed when exploring the Path of Rhythm in other contexts.
Body Drumming
Just as the drum is the tool for connecting to the higher and lower selves and diving deep into different levels of universal existence, so too, can body drumming be used with a visceral and erotic edge. Acting as the flesh-bound drum for an offering, or as the drummer on the bodies of ecstatic ritualists, can be a profound experience. Connecting flesh to flesh, building a chain of moans and groans that echo out in time with the music created by your own hands. They become a tool for taking the drum, the drummer, or the listener on a journey beyond the limits of reality and into the possibilities beyond.
Flogging
By moving beyond self-flagellation into consensual partnered flagellation, a beat or rhythm can be established that echoes in the bones. Not all flogging involves rhythm though, and if this is your desire, consider discussing it in advance. In turn, keeping only one pattern throughout the entirety of an experience can be boring for some. Individuals can flog in time to music, or start out at one beat and then move into another and then another as the spirit moves them. This can be a useful tool both for the person being flogged who can space out into the pattern of it if the sensation is not so extreme that it becomes an ordeal, but also for the person who is lowering the whip time and time again.
Spanking
Like body drumming, there is an opportunity to have hand connect with flesh and create a bond between bodies as one person touches another with each spank. However, spanking has the added potency of being an emotionally loaded tool within our culture. We can easily use spanking and its partner with a tool in hand, paddling to do childhood regression work. It becomes possible to move forward and backwards through time by using something we experienced in the past. These bodily memories or associations may be positive or negative. Be forewarned, this can be a tool for accessing past pain and trauma. Not everyone is called to combine spanking with energetic work, or may not be ready for that walk down memory lane.
Those who were never spanked as children can access the cultural memory of spanking and go into the emotions we might imagine would be buried there, using it as a form of method acting for similar regression. It can also be used for non-regressive work as a form of feeling rhythm on the body for a wide variety of experiences. Spanking that has been charged erotically can also be used for the entirety of “good times” as well.
Caning
Caning can be sensual and seductive or sharp and severe. The variety of cane strokes from “Six of the Best” to hours of slow ramping up can be used for building a wide variety of trances. Extreme sensation, classical English governess, schoolroom punishment, Spanish bastinado, or Thai criminal caning usually suited for Ordeal work. There are also those who use these more extreme canings in their pursuit of the Path of Rituals or in their Path of Asceticism practices.
Punching and Slapping
Boxers have reported out of body experiences or being able to take more pain than they thought possible through entering an altered state in the ring, and it sets a precedent for punching and slapping as tools for the Path of Rhythm. By hitting the same spot over and over, moving to some specific beat and pattern, or by just going back over and over and over again, there is the possibility for pushing the body further and further in time to that beat or pattern. With tools like caning, punching, slapping or kicking, be aware that it is very easy for one or both partners, if they have entered a trance, to be unable to know when their bodies have taken too much and they need to stop.
Kicking
Have you ever kicked stones in the road to just watch them go, or to spin the time away? Or, hyper-focus on the stone lets everything else fade and we barely notice when a car is about to run us over. So, too, can erotic kicking be used in the same ways that other tools of physical sensation are used. Before any tool of extreme physical engagement is used, both parties need to be aware of body physiology, abilities, health concerns and safe practices (like not curling your toes up when kicking lest you break one, and where on the body is safe to kick. Everyone needs to know when to stop so that the pain they are exploring does not lead to long term damage. Even if it is tempting to have the energetic experience override the needs of the body, know that you have to come back to living in that body after your ride is over. After the epiphany, the continued rhythms of daily life dance on.
Pulling on Bondage
After binding someone (which can also be done in time with a rhythm) with ropes, leather, saran wrap or chain, pushing or pulling their body in time with a specific rhythm can be a very potent tool for sending them into trance. This can be done gently, as if rocking a babe to sleep, or vigorously as if convulsing in time to tribal drumming.
Repetition of Language
One, Sir, thank you, Sir. Two, Sir, thank you, Sir. Three, Sir, thank you, Sir. Just like the idea of cadence, this combination of vocal patterning and physical patterning can be encoded into the psyche in the same way as leaving a hypnotic suggestion can be; after this has been done over the course of many scenes, just saying “One, Sir, Thank you, Sir” can lead to the person starting to slip back into the same state.
Playing to Music
Any toy, tool, implement, movement or concept can be turned into a scene using the Path of Rhythm if you do it in time to music that has a rhythm. Find music that allows the journeying partner to mentally wander or get lost in it. For some people this is tribal drumming, for others it is death metal. Techno, Industrial, Goth, Country, Disco, Trance, World, Belly dancing, 80s, Pop, Classical…everyone is called to different styles of music. It does not matter if the music works for everyone. It matters if it works for the person journeying, and can the person leading or assisting at least tolerate it. If you despise Rap music, it does not matter how powerful the beats laid down by Missy Elliott might be; your partner will be able to feel your focus falter and it is likely to pull them out of their journey.
Catharsis on the Dance Floor
My hands know this journey. My hands have felt him under me so many times. I can let go: no concern about how a strike will land, no worry about what his reactions will be. We know each other, and safe in that space and the place between us I know I can let go and dive into myself.
My arms are so tired, part of me thinks, but I realize no, it’s not my arms. I am tired. Something inside me is so painfully tired, so sad, so empty. An aching deep in my heart. I hit harder. I push harder. I let the rhythm ride me as my slaps turn to fists and I begin punching at the space before me.
I am lashing out at my sorrow. I am lashing out at being alone. I feel that dam inside me build up, the tension against the wall, and my body rocks. My Boy is not what I am hitting, he’s just a prop, and he knows it. My fists are hitting against the pain inside me, and the leather reminds me of all the armor I am always wearing, always carrying… and I am so tired.
Fist to black and back again. Fist to black and back again. Fist to…and as the blow lands I start crying. Start howling in pain. My body is still dancing, my hands still moving, but my face has wracked itself into a contortion of all the suffering I have been feeling at work, in my sense of constant obligation, in my separation from my biological family in recent times. I shake, I scream, I hit in time… and I let it all pour out.
Cathartic Flogging
Cathartic Flogging was a term coined in the ea
rly 90s by Master Skip Chasey in an attempt to conceptually explain the effect that integrating his work as a grief recovery counselor, his spirituality and his “radical” sexuality had on a specific SM practice in which he engaged. He found that repetition of specific sensations made it very difficult for an individual to not become present in the moment. Doing so combined with maintaining that rhythm and adjusting it in minor ways while making sure to not be emotionally attached to the outcome, the people under his lash were having their emotional experiences boil to the surface.
This tool is not a new one. Catharsis is a form of purging, of emptying out what we are carrying so that we have the opportunity to examine what has come out, as well as to be able to take new energy into our lives when we were previously full of what was not serving us. It is the opportunity to flush our system, as well as to unblock the waterways of our spirit. For others it is an opportunity to process what has been locked away, too terrifying or painful (or joyous and wondrous) to look at. Author Raven Kaldera refers to the reasons we need to engage in Cathartic experiences as the Gate of Fear, the Gate of Shame, the Gate of Endurance and the Gate of Letting Go. This means Catharsis canalso serve as a powerful tool for closure.
This work is not just about “getting rid” of darkness. Darkness has a place in our lives. It is about pouring out whatever is stuck, whatever is pent up, be it sorrow, pain, joy, love, hope, fear, or anger. This creates permission for those feelings to manifest somewhere in your life—even if just for these five minutes. So often in our lives we block out or push down an emotion because we are afraid or feel shame. We believe we must endure or are afraid to let go. Because of this, when a moment of catharsis is reached, you will often see people break out in crazy laughter, screaming, tears, yelling, primal howling, smiles, and other deep expressions of seemingly out of place emotions.
These responses are not out of place. They have simply found a place to express themselves in a life that did not make any other place for them.
The System and Process
Though all of these techniques are useful to consider in Sacred Kink scenes, they are important to consider specifically within the work for cathartic flogging. Additional ideas for outlines for Sacred Kink workings are explored again in the Path of the Horse, and both are worth exploring before beginning any type of play.
Set the Space
Physically, setting the space means finding a venue where yelling, screaming or crying (or whatever might come out) is acceptable and the walls are not too thin. Unless you are outdoors and miles from anyone that might call the cops out of misunderstanding. This also means that if anyone is around, warning at least of few of them what may or may not end up happening so that they can act as a buffer between those who do not understand and your scene. There are few things more frustrating than some well-meaning person stopping your scene because they were concerned that you kept hitting your Bottom after they started crying (or worse, while you were crying).
Part of setting the stage also includes having the right equipment for the job and knowing how to use it. Will you be using any restraints? Are those cuffs really sturdy? For some individuals, providing strong bondage can be very helpful if strong emotions well up so that they can pull on the bonds for strength. Bondage can also be useful if there is a concern that what might come to the surface is rage: better to let the St. Andrew’s cross take the damage than the Top. Others find restraint distracting for these sorts of work. Discuss it in advance, and if you don’t know, err on the side of caution.
The other necessary equipment is the flogger. I recommend having a few different ones available, from light to very challenging, if you not worked with the person before. Most people find their trance point somewhere near challenging but not at the endurance and suffering level. If you have not worked with the person before, having a variety of tools available will allow you to start out light and build up, backing down if they wince or tense their shoulders up into their neck too often.
This also means knowing how to use a flogger. The Top of these scenes, who will be providing the journey for the Bottom, must know how to use the tool in advance. Yes, this tool can be used for the Top to achieve catharsis, but the unique challenges of that will be addressed in Top Trance and Two-Footing later in this chapter. Now is not the time to experiment with an unused toy or a new technique. Use what you know, and can throw with minimal focus. Also use a tool that you know you can maintain for an extended period of time. A heavy flogger will likely tire a Top out before the catharsis is reached.
Floggers are a preferred tool because of their iconic nature, their physical distance from a Journeyer so that they go “alone” into their own body, and the dispersed impact of a repetitive bodily sensation. For those whom flogging is not an option, either for reasons of disability or available equipment, it is possible to do this work with a paddle or other impact tool. What is important is that the tool be focused upon as a transformational tool by both partners that is to be used in conjunction with the chosen rhythm.
If either partner believes for some reason (a gut feeling or self-knowledge) this scene may take a long time, consider arranging a co-Top if one is available. They, too, must be proficient in the use of the flogger, and have a similar technique style to the first or primary Top. One person habitually using overhand strokes and focusing on the upper torso, and the second Top using underhand strokes and focusing on the ass and thighs may be distracting. Have similar variety or narrowness of focus.
Set your Intention
Make sure everyone is clear on intentions of verbal communication, energy, emotions, and any other cues to help set your intentions. Yes, this work can happen “by accident,” but it is more likely to be created consciously by making sure we are all together on one road. If the Bottom was just hoping for a hot time, and the Top decides that no, what they really need is to let go and have a good scream or cry, it may or may not be ethical as the Top to make that decision for them. As slave Rick of California once said in reference to the work of one of his own Teachers, “The most powerful medicine can become the most toxic poison if used with the wrong intention.”
If you and your partner have the sort of relationship where a push into this direction is acceptable, so be it. If not, consider asking them as you feel this “need” of theirs arise if it is what they want. This can be done unobtrusively with a slight pause and whispering “shall we keep going” in their ear, or by having your co-Top ask them while you continue to work. Make sure as you frame questions that you keep in mind that your partner might be in an altered state, and that your questions not be coercive in nature. To consensually coax an answer out of someone who has consented to coaxing in advance is one thing, but coercing through guilt, shame, or threats is another.
Get Rid of the Agenda
So you think you want to have a cathartic experience. If you are thinking about what might come, there is a lower chance that it will show up. As the Guide, be present and know the basic ingredients you will need to use, but do not have a direct agenda of what “should” happen. As the Journeyer, the emotion you expect to come out may or may not be what happens. Oftentimes when sadness was expected, rage or laughter may be what comes to the forefront. And if it does not happen for some reason, it is not any one person’s fault. It is an opportunity to see what you did get out of the experience, and if you want to, try again using a different space, tools, music, energetic connection, or perhaps take the time to process some in advance and prime the pump by having the emotions already at the top of the pot for boiling.
Just as it is no one’s fault if nothing seems to happen, it also is no one person’s doing if something does take place. Guides and Guardians, leave your egos at the door. You did not make the catharsis happen. Your skills are a tool in the quest of the Journeyer, and the tools you provide are a form of sacred duty, honor, and calling. If you believe that this is your doing, you are projecting yourself onto your partner and may not heed the subtle call of t
heir energy when they need you to back up or go deeper, as you may be too concerned with what you want them to experience. What you think is not necessarily what is best for them. An agenda does not help anyone.
Get Rid of the Clock
Take off your watch. Turn off your cell phone (or put it on vibrate and give it to someone else in the space not involved in the working). Make sure you have no other plans later on that you have to be there for. The scene itself may take ten minutes or may take four hours, and the aftercare and helping them back to this plane of existence may take as little time as it took to leave or may involve sitting up all night. Every single experience is different, and even if you have worked with this person before, there is no guarantee that they will take the same amount of time.
Doing this work in an incomplete manner has the potential for causing more harm than the good that could have come from it in the first place. Leaving without providing aftercare, or everyone involved having arranged it elsewhere in advance, can lead to someone feeling abandoned. Putting in only half the energy they deserve does everyone a disservice. Asking them to bottle up halfway in, because you’ve poorly planned your time, can leave everyone raw. Clearing a good amount of time allows emotions to boil over in the arms of those who care for the Journeyer than in the middle of an office conference or during a fight with a family member.
The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond Page 7