“We knew the cancer had already metastasized to my spleen when I started treatments. That means my bloodstream had already carried it all over my body. Maybe we would’ve caught it earlier if I’d recognized the random symptoms and gone to the doctor as soon as they started. But there’s no guarantee that would’ve changed anything. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a better childhood. If I could’ve shielded you from all this pain and grief, I gladly would’ve done it. No matter what happens in the coming days, remember I love you more than anything, baby.”
“No, Mom. Don’t you dare think like that. You gave me the best childhood. All my favorite memories are the times I’ve spent with you and Juliana. You taught me everything I know. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without you. We haven’t had it easy, but I wouldn’t trade anything for our life, and I couldn’t ask for a better mother. I love you so much, Mom.”
My face wet with tears, I leaned over and hugged her, ignoring the sensation of her ribs sticking out of her skin when my fingers skimmed over her shirt.
“Do you still want to keep Juliana with you?” she whispered in my ear during our embrace.
“Absolutely. No one else gets to torture my little sister but me.” I felt her chuckle against me, and I was relieved I brought her at least a little levity during such a terrible time.
“All right, baby. She overheard us talking about it before, so she made sure I knew she wanted to live with you, not your grandparents. If you’re sure, I’ll call the lawyer tomorrow and start the process right away.”
“You’re giving me guardianship right now?” Theory and reality are two completely different animals. Even after our conversation, I thought we had more time. I needed more time.
“Yes, baby. It’ll make the transition smoother when…”
“Don’t say it, Mom. Don’t even say the words. My birthday is coming up next week and Juliana’s is in a couple of months. You’ll celebrate both days with us.”
She pulled away from me, putting figurative and literal distance between herself and my belief. Before she turned her head to the side, I caught the wince that flashed across her pretty face along with her quivering bottom lip. Her devastated expression made my heart drop to my ankles. “Let’s just take it one day at a time.”
The week I turned twenty-one, Mom had her lawyer push the guardianship papers through the courts as quickly as possible. When I stood before the judge to answer questions about why I was petitioning for guardianship and how I planned to support us, it relieved me to find she was sympathetic to our plight. Turns out, had I not been exactly ten years older than Juliana, I couldn’t have taken legal custody of her.
If we’d waited those couple of months until Juliana’s birthday, I would’ve lost her too.
Mom knew long before I did.
Three weeks later, Juliana and I stood side-by-side, our heads bowed while tears flowed from our eyes like a Georgia flash flood. When her little hand slid against mine, I entwined my fingers with hers. She looked up at me, the light in her eyes dimmed by the tears that trickled onto her cheeks.
“What happens now, Rod?” Her chin quivered as much as her little voice. “Will we always be this sad?”
“No, little bird. We’ll have all blue skies from now on. Just wait and see.” I had to give her hope. She was too young to lose her faith in humanity, her belief there was good left in the world, and her childlike innocence. Life has a way of making us grow up all too soon. But I would’ve walked through hell alone to defend Juliana from reality for a while longer.
We said goodbye to Mom for the last time, then went home to a quiet house. The kitchen was full of casseroles and desserts from Mom’s coworkers—enough to freeze and last for weeks. They’d also taken up a donation for us, though I hated accepting charity from anyone. But when I saw their faces, I realized they loved her too, and offering the financial help was their way of honoring her. The gesture was as important to them as it was lifesaving for Juliana and me.
Four weeks after Mom died, the first app I launched hit number one in all the online stores and stayed there for months. Each subsequent release outperformed the previous one. All the fears I’d kept locked deep inside about whether I’d be able to support Juliana evaporated with every dollar that filled my bank account. As a family, we’d struggled financially since the day my dad walked out and left us without a second thought. Having complete financial freedom out of the blue opened so many doors I never even knew existed.
Yes, my success was sweet. But it was also bittersweet. What if I’d introduced the apps and hit multi-millionaire status earlier? Could I have saved Mom? Were there procedures they could’ve performed if we’d had the money to pay for them?
Those questions haunted me when I tried to fall asleep at night. Mom’s assertion of it already being too late returned to me, but my doubts and feeling of failure overruled them. I vowed to shield and protect my sister because she was the only family I had left.
If anything happened to her, I’d never forgive myself for letting both Mom and Juliana down.
Afterword
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking the time to read this book. This story has been a long time in the making and has been through several revisions, but I’m finally happy with the outcome. Sharing a book with the world is never easy, but I always hope you’ll love it as much as I do.
These characters have a lot of depth and intricacies not commonly found in romance books. While the storyline is accurate medically and I do my best to maintain that integrity, I employed some creative liberties to ensure the story flows, and it’s easy to read.
With today’s technology advancements, procedures change rather quickly, even with transplants. “Bone marrow transplant” is an older term that may not be used as much as it once was. Today, it’s more commonly referred to as a hematopoietic stem cell transplantation, but that’s a lot to digest, even inside your head. There are also several more steps in the tissue match process that aren’t depicted here, because that isn’t germane to the story. Siblings aren’t a match as often as you’d think, which is why so many people rely on the bone marrow registry to find a match.
I hope you’ve enjoyed Rod & Daisy so far! There’s much more in All I Need, More surprises. More twists and turns. More love. More tears. More fun. More Hot Rod. :)
Lots of love,
A.D. Justice
Volume Two
ROD & DAISY, BOOK 2
Right time. Right place. Perfect woman.
Can a leopard really change its spots?
Normally, I’d say there’s no way.
But then, she has been the exception to my rule from day one.
We weren’t supposed to see each other again.
We weren’t supposed to fan the spark into an inferno.
There’s no turning back now.
All I have to do is convince her of one thing: Right time. Right place. Right Man.
All I Need is the second book in the compelling All of Me Series and should be read after All I Want.
CHAPTER ONE
Rod
The Past
The truth today is the same as it was back when we were kids. There’s not much I wouldn’t do to protect my little sister.
Life put that sentiment to the ultimate test just a few months before I turned twenty-one. Everything changed during what would normally be a time of celebration—my senior year in college—when I could go on an all-night bar crawl with my friends. Well, legally, anyway. I was looking forward to my graduation the following spring and making plans for a future of my own.
“Rod, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Mom pushed a chair out from under the kitchen table with her foot and motioned for me to sit.
“You know, in the entire history of the world, no wanted conversation ever started with those words.” I sighed heavily and plopped down in the chair. Yes, I was the typical twenty-year-old guy who had better things to do and more exciting places to be i
n what little spare time I had. The talk she wanted to have stood between my almighty plans and me.
The sad smile on her face didn’t give me any comfort, but I sat to hear what she had to say. Arguing would’ve only further delayed my departure. If I wanted to get away anytime soon, I had to put my plans on the back burner and take it like a man.
“There’s no way easy way to say this, so I’ll just tell you the same way I was told.” She took a deep breath, then blew it out slowly. “I have stage four ovarian cancer. The doctor said it’s already advanced past the point of stopping it, Rod.”
"I don’t understand. Have you been sick and didn’t tell me?” My head was spinning. How did I miss the signs?
“I’ve been having some medical problems for a while now. Nothing specific that screamed, ‘Hey Debbie, you have cancer.’ I’ve had a variety of symptoms I thought were all separate—just the result of working too much, not eating right, and not getting enough sleep. Turns out, I should’ve considered all the symptoms were related… a lot sooner than I did.”
“Mom.” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to think of something intelligent and comforting to say. But that’s not what happened when my mom announced she was dying. I couldn’t think straight, and the thoughts swirling in my head were all terrible. “What… what’s next? What are they going to do about it?”
She shook her head and pinched her lips together. “Nothing, son. There’s nothing they can do now to cure me because it has already spread to my spleen.”
"How long?” I couldn’t make myself look at her face at that moment. Asking the question was almost more than I could manage.
“We’re looking at a year at the most, May be less than that. Rod, I know this is a lot to put on you and I’m so sorry. You’ve carried such a heavy load on your shoulders since the night your dad left.”
Her words finally sank in, forcing me to stop staring at the floor. “Wait—what? Why are you apologizing to me? You’re the one who has cancer. We’ll go to another doctor for a second opinion. Chemotherapy. Surgery. Whatever they need to do. This is about saving you.”
“This is about you living your own life and enjoying it while you’re young. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I think it’s best if your dad’s parents take guardianship of Juliana when I become too sick to care for her. I wish my parents were still here to help both of you.”
“Stop talking like that. And Dad’s parents? Really? There’s no way I’ll let that happen, Mom. Juliana will never go live with them. They’ll try to shove Dad down her throat every day. I’ll take care of her.”
“How are you going to be a mother, father, and brother to your sister, and finish college at the same time? Your future is just as important as Juliana’s.”
“I’ll finish college. I’ve been working on several new apps I think will be enormous hits and will make a ton of money. When I release them, you’ll have the best medical care available. You’ll get well and we will all still be a family, Mom. No one is going anywhere.”
Any other scenario wouldn’t work because I couldn’t imagine my life without the two people I loved the most in it. The news Mom laid on me knocked the breath out of me and broke my heart. I wanted to scream at the world, beat my fists against my chest, and order it all to go away. At the end of the day, when I had to face the truth along with all my fears, all I really wanted was my mom. I missed the days when she’d hold me and assure me everything would be okay.
“You’re the best son a mother could ever ask for, Rod. I believe in you, and I know you’ll make your dreams come true. But raising your sister is too much to ask of you. I want you to have your own life. You need time to have fun with your friends, meet someone special, and travel the world while you’re young enough to enjoy it. You can’t do that when you have an eleven-year-old little sister who needs help with her math homework every night.”
“I’m a software engineering major, Mom, so I can help with all her homework. Please don’t give up yet. Fight this disease with everything in you, and I will too. You’ll have me here with you, every step of the way, and I’ll do everything I can to help.”
“I’m not giving up, baby.” She paused, staring at me as if it was the first time she’d seen me… or maybe the last.
There I was, a twenty-year-old grown man, and she still called me baby. But her use of the endearment never bothered me. She’d told me many times I’d always be her baby, regardless of how old I was. Sitting at the table with her, I would’ve given anything to go back in time to be her little boy again.
“Understand, I’m only trying to be rational about my prognosis. If I don’t plan for every potential outcome for the future now, Juliana will be the one who suffers the most.” She squeezed my hand then covered it with her other one. We had made a pact, and her gesture was as good as a handshake to seal the deal on my part.
When our conversation was over and we’d cried enough tears to drown ourselves in, I called my friends to say I wouldn’t make it out with them after all. My heart and mind weren’t into partying, drinking, and chasing girls anymore. Life changed in the span of a few minutes. Those six words irreparably damaged my heart.
I hadn’t had the luxury of wearing rose-colored glasses since the day Dad walked out and left us. But the news from Mom shattered me in inconceivable and indescribable ways. After hearing the finality in her voice and planning for Juliana’s future without her in it, I knew I’d never make a full recovery from losing her.
During the weeks following the bombshell news, she and I had several long conversations about her prognosis, and I finally persuaded her to undergo the chemotherapy treatments. Doing something was better than nothing at all. Maybe the medications would at least prevent the cells from replicating so quickly and give us a fighting chance. The poisonous cocktail made her sicker than I’d ever seen her before, but she never complained. She promised she’d fight until her last breath, and she was determined to keep her promise to us.
Though Juliana knew Mom was sick, it was hard to explain to an eleven-year-old just how aggressive and terrible cancer could be. She alternated between holding onto Mom as if she couldn’t force her hands to turn Mom loose, and acting as though she was afraid to even approach her bedside. All normal reactions for a child, the doctor assured us when I’d taken Mom for her treatment one day. Sickness is a scary thing, and Juliana was dealing with her feelings the only way she knew how.
I couldn’t blame her. There were days I wanted to hide in my room to escape reality. I wanted to ignore the way Mom’s skin turned grayer by the day. I never pointed out how much weight she’d lost or how slowly she moved when she had to get out of bed. But I noticed every detail. Regardless, when she called my name, I answered her. Every time. The hour of day or night was irrelevant.
Over the next few months, I put all my energy into writing hundreds of lines of code, testing them, refining them, and marking the days off the calendar until I could finally launch the apps to the public. While Juliana was in school during the day, I worked on my college classes. She worked on her homework at night, and I helped Mom around the house. Juliana was sharp as a tack, so she didn’t need much help with her schoolwork, but I was there when she asked. After they both went to bed, I stayed up writing code for my apps until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
Success was within my grasp; I could feel it in my bones. Though I still wasn’t quite in the sweet spot, I knew it was a matter of when rather than if.
By that time, Mom’s rapidly deteriorating health forced her to take a medical leave from her job. The owners rewarded her years of dedication to them by keeping her on the payroll as a regular salaried employee, easing part of her fears. Her paychecks continued as usual, and her employer even absorbed all her medical expenses from that point forward. Her coworkers were more than willing to help in so many other ways it renewed my faith in humankind.
But somehow, there was always one more shoe to drop.
“Ro
d, come in here with me.” Mom’s progressively weaker voice worried me more than I shared with her. Though I kept the fear in me hidden, I knew it couldn’t be a good sign. I’d missed her symptoms before the diagnosis, so I became hypervigilant about watching her for new ones.
“Yeah, Mom? Do you need something?” I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.
She reached over and took my hand. “It’s time, baby.”
“Time for what, Mom?”
She was not saying what I thought she was saying. I wasn’t ready to lose her, to face life without her, to say goodbye—any of it.
“We have to decide what happens to Juliana. The treatments aren’t helping anymore. The cancer is spreading. It’s now a matter of time, and I’m choosing quality over quantity. I want to spend my last days making memories with my kids, not hunched over a toilet bowl before crawling back into bed again. It’s time to accept the inevitable.”
“No, Mom, you can’t give up now. We’re so close. My apps are almost ready to launch. I’ll be able to—”
“Rod, you’ve worked so hard day and night. You thought I didn’t notice you burning the midnight oil, but I saw everything. My health condition is not your responsibility or your fault, sweetheart. You couldn’t have prevented it or changed the outcome if you had a billion dollars. All the money in the world can’t save me now.
“We knew the cancer had already metastasized to my spleen when I started treatments. That means my bloodstream had already carried it all over my body. Maybe we would’ve caught it earlier if I’d recognized the random symptoms and gone to the doctor as soon as they started. But there’s no guarantee that would’ve changed anything. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a better childhood. If I could’ve shielded you from all this pain and grief, I gladly would’ve done it. No matter what happens in the coming days, remember I love you more than anything, baby.”
All of Me: Rod & Daisy Duet Box Set Page 27