She nods slowly, but her eyes aren’t focused on anything in particular. She’s lost in a terrible memory from that night. “I don’t know how to tell Landen about his father… or if I should tell him. He’s hinted about his father, but he hasn’t asked any specific questions yet.”
“That fucking lowlife piece of shit isn’t Landen’s father, Daisy. Maybe he was there at conception, but he’ll never be the father of your son.”
She leans her cheek against my chest and tightens her arms around me again. She releases a haggard breath, and her entire body shivers despite the warm southern Florida air. I give her the silence and mental space she needs to process the details I shared. With the last of the gaps in her memory filled in, she must be replaying the events of that night all over again. With my arms encircling her in a protective embrace, we stand motionless on the sidewalk for as long as she needs. I don’t care who’s watching. I couldn’t care less what they think. Daisy needs this love, support, and empathy, and I’m here to give her my all.
My desire to find that motherfucker has been ignited from a smoldering ember into a fully involved five-alarm blaze. After the holidays, I may have to pay Gabriel a visit again.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Daisy
Rod and I walk around the block in silent lucidity, emotionally closer than we’ve ever been, and accepting the other despite our flaws and hauntingly painful memories. With one secret out in the open, I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders. Rather than awkwardly shying away from me after I shared that terrible night from my past, he’s nothing but supportive and affectionate. The air between us has turned more intimate and relaxed.
All these years, I’ve felt so guilty for putting myself in that situation, for allowing that horrible man to rape me. In fact, I never wanted to say those words or admit I was raped. Admitting what happened made me feel like a powerless victim and added insult to injury. But Rod’s soothing words were like a salve on my soul, assuring me none of it was my fault and promising he didn’t blame me. He vowed to seek justice by any means possible. He threatened to find my attacker and make him pay for what he did out of anger and helplessness. I believe he sincerely wants to help me heal from my ordeal. The emotional support from him means more to me than anything else he could do.
“What time will your sister be here?” Rod glances at his watch. “It’s starting to get late. I overheard Landen telling your mom how excited he is to see his Aunt Marlee again.”
“He loves her so much. Sometimes I think he’d live with her if I’d let him. She should be here any time. She likes to arrive fashionably late and make a grand appearance.”
“That drives you crazy, doesn’t it?” He chuckles softly.
“You have no idea how much it used to bother me. I’m generally laid back and easy to get along with, but her inability to show up on time has caused countless fights in the past. But now, instead of getting mad, I don’t wait for her. If she’s late, she just misses out.” I shrug, accepting we’re naturally on opposite ends of the spectrum.
“Duly noted. If there’s any way to avoid it, I won’t be late for anything we have planned.” He offers a mock salute, but his mischievous smile gives his joke away.
“Don’t make it sound like I’m some dictator who has to have her way. When I say she was late, I don’t mean by minutes. I’m talking hours. For example, one time a few years ago, we planned a weekend trip to stay with our aunt and uncle. I called her on my way to pick her up—on time—and she hadn’t dressed or packed. She takes a full hour to shower and get ready, then another hour to pack her clothes. I refused to wait and told her she’d have to drive herself.”
“You left her?” He looks down at me with wide eyes and an amused grin on his handsome face. “Just drove off without her and went alone?”
“I sure did.” We laugh together. “But she’s my sister and I love her, despite her inability to tell time. We’re there for each other when it counts, and that’s all that matters in the end.”
“Feisty. I love it. There are too many flaws my sister could use against me, but she doesn’t. She’s always been as patient and forgiving as she is right now. In a lot of ways, I wish I was more like her. But once I’d found strength during my moments of weakness, I wasn’t capable of dropping my guard again. Then I met you, and all the reasons why I kept those walls around me didn’t make sense anymore. And now, here I am, completely wrapped around your little finger and trapped in your love.”
His words seep into my subconscious and my heart starts racing when my thoughts automatically go to the worst-case scenario. The problem is, I’m more invested in him now than ever. Learning he was the one who helped me during the worst time of my life was an unexpected turn of events, but it also explains why I’ve felt so drawn to him since the day we met. When he’s sweet and romantic, like now, I’m completely defenseless against what I feel for him.
When I stop walking, he turns to face me, searching my eyes in an unveiled attempt to read my mind. Neither of us has said those three little words, but they’re on the tip of my tongue.
“I’m terrified, Rod. I’ve tried to put on a brave face and take all this in stride, in case it doesn’t work out again. The truth is, I’m bound to you and I’ll never be free. If you walk away from me tomorrow, my heart will go with you. When I agreed to give us another chance, at first, I figured we’d have another two-week fling, and it would magically disappear once we’re back home. But that’s all changed now, and I don’t know how I can ever let you go.”
He lifts my hand and places it on his chest, then puts his hand on mine. “Feel that? We’re two hearts, beating as one. You don’t have to be afraid of me, my love. I’m not going anywhere. This heart belongs to you. I’ll do whatever you want, for as long as you need, to prove you have nothing to fear. Knowing you also avoided relationships before meeting me makes our bond even more special.”
“The handful of dates I’ve had all felt forced and artificial. If you’re not the one for me, then no one is.”
He cups my face in his hands and presses his lips against mine. I lock my hands behind his neck and step closer, openly playing with fire in plain view. But onlookers are the last concern on my mind tonight. I’m opening my heart, mind, and soul—baring all to him with blind trust he won’t crush me.
There’s just one little unexpected surprise I can’t bring myself to confess yet, even though I have a sinking feeling my intentional silence will blow up in my face when I eventually tell him.
“Can you two get a room already? You’re making the rest of us sick,” a familiar voice yells loudly from behind me. I’d recognize it anywhere.
While still in Rod’s arms, I turn to face my sister. “How many times do I have to remind you envy green is not your color?”
“I’m not jealous that you have someone to suck face with and I don’t. That’s insulting.”
“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”
We can’t contain our cackles as she jumps out of the car and rushes toward me. I turn and open my arms, pulling her into a tight embrace.
“I’ve missed you so much, little sister. You haven’t come to see me in forever.” Marlee squeezes me tightly while rocking side to side in pure excitement.
“I’ve missed you, too. At least we’re home together for a little while.”
When we step back from our embrace, I introduce Marlee and Rod to each other. She assesses him with the typical scrutiny of an older sibling. She’ll start her intense interrogation the first time she catches him alone and unaware, but she’s nothing but nice for now.
“Do you two want a ride back to the house? I’d hang out here with you longer, but I’m starving. You know how I am when there’s family food on the table.”
“No, you go ahead without us. Everyone is waiting for you to show up anyway. We’re enjoying the sights and the peace and quiet out here. I’d forgotten how loud our family is when they’re all together.”
We wave goodbye as s
he drives off, then Rod and I resume our evening stroll with our arms entwined. Even as much as this still scares me, I have to admit this is exactly what I’ve always wanted, always dreamed a relationship could be. When he’s not hiding behind the super-ego façade, he’s surprisingly easy to talk to and the most caring man I’ve ever met. He makes me feel safe and secure while simultaneously feeling sexy and desired. No man has pulled that off since the night I shut out the world.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“You’re worth more than a penny, Rod.”
“You’re thinking about me? Nice. Am I dressed or naked in your daydreaming? Should I be flattered or offended by the sordid thoughts floating around in your head?”
“Rod, you’re impossible.” I playfully swat his stomach.
“All I need is to make sure we’re on the same page. I mean, if you’re walking around out here having your way with me in your head—”
“Oh, my God. Stop already. If you must know, I was thinking about how wonderful you are and how happy I am with you.”
“Now, are we naked in all this wonderful happiness? I missed that part of your story.”
“You are totally naked in my story, and you’re being used as a lawn ornament in my parents’ Christmas display.”
“Kinky. Keep going.”
“But it’s cold in the North Pole, so certain parts shrivel and hide—”
“Stop right there.” He raises his hand with his palm out, as if he’s directing traffic. “This drivel is too far-fetched, even for fiction. I demand a rewrite.”
“I’ll get right on that.” With my head tilted down, staring at the road, I hide my smile behind my long hair.
Then I feel his fingers float across my skin before tucking my hair behind my ear. After a gentle tug under my chin, I raise my head to meet his handsome, smiling face. “You know I’m playing, right? You’re sleeping in my bed tonight, but I’m not planning any smooth moves on you. When you want me, you can let me know. Until then, we’ll go at your pace.”
“Rod, I know when you’re joking around, and that doesn’t offend me. Don’t start treating me with kid gloves as if I’ll break. I’m a survivor, not a victim.”
He nods slowly, his eyes intently searching my face. “You certainly are.”
We cover the entire subdivision on our walk and arrive back at my parents’ house. Everyone is in the den when we walk in, judging by the cacophony of voices that assault us the moment we step across the threshold of the front door. Multiple conversations happen at once, making it impossible to follow any single line of thought.
Until Rod and I walk in the room, that is.
“Daisy, Mom told me she moved you out of the guest bedroom to make room for me. So, Rod,” Marlee turns her gaze directly to him. “What, exactly, are your intentions with my sister?”
“So, this is what it felt like to be one of Juliana’s dates. Interesting.” He rubs his forefinger and thumb across his chin as if he’s deep in thought. But knowing Rod, he’s only coming up with the perfect retort. “My intentions with Daisy are to make her the happiest woman in the world, in every possible meaning those words could convey.”
“Does that include marriage?” Her eyes float to mine. “Kids?”
Holy shit. Does she know too?
“Marlee, I appreciate how you look out for me, but I’m grown. I think I can handle my relationship with Rod from here.” I shake my head at her and pull him to sit with me on an open loveseat.
With his arm around me, we settle into a comfortable position while the family resumes their previous conversations. Marlee moves to sit beside Juliana, peppering her with questions as they become acquainted. No doubt she’s taking every opportunity to find out all she can about Rod, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one, and I know my sister has my back regardless of what happens.
Landen and Isa make their way over to Rod and me, then crawl up on Rod’s lap and making themselves at home. I play with Landen’s hair, knowing he’s fighting sleep with every ounce of energy he can muster. “How do you like camping out at Gram’s?”
“It’s awesome, Mommy. You should see what Gramps helped us build in there. Now we have a tent and an igloo, like real Eskimos. Grams made a bed in there for Miss Juliana, so we’re all set.” He flattens his hands out in front of him, emphasizing his words with a pump of his arms. I love seeing him so excited over the simple things.
“Yeah, you should come see it, Miss Daisy. We love it.” Isa’s eyes are as big as saucers, and her smile lights up her entire face.
“You two can show me everything before we go to bed. I can’t wait to see it.”
All the while, mentally I’m calculating the age difference between Landen, Isa, and the little bundle of joy who will be making a grand entrance into the world in six months or so.
“Rod, that look suits you perfectly.” Kevin breaks my trance with his observation. Apparently, everyone else feels the need to turn and take in the scene at the same time. “Beautiful lady curled up at your side, a couple of kids in your lap, and the most content expression I’ve ever seen on your face. That’s saying something, because I’ve known you a long time. Yeah, you couldn’t be any happier if you tried.”
Rod looks down at the kids then me, surprise registering on his face as if he didn’t comprehend the scene Kevin described until just now. “You’re right, I am happy. There’s only one thing that could make me even happier than I am right now, and that’s if we found a tissue match for Juliana. That would be the ultimate present and make my Christmas complete. I’d even accept that as a New Year’s present. I’m not picky.”
Sexy boyfriend? Check.
Happy son? Check.
Eternal bliss? Going, going, gone.
CHAPTER NINE
Rod
“You’re embarrassing me with the way you’re undressing me with your eyes. I’m running around naked in your mind again, aren’t I?” I waggle my eyebrows at Daisy. She’s kicked back on the settee in this enormous guest bedroom. Though her family didn’t come from money, they’ve more than made up for that since then. Now I know why my wealth didn’t faze her.
“You caught me. But, in my defense, it’s all your fault. It’s hard not to imagine you naked when you’re literally taking your clothes off one piece at a time in front of me. I mean, you’re swinging your sock over your head as if you’re performing a show on stage. You can’t blame me for the images you’re creating.” She giggles and her face turns as red as a beet, but she simply shrugs her shoulders. She knows she’s busted, and I love how she doesn’t deny it.
Humor helps her dispel the tension she holds in her neck and shoulders. She thinks she keeps it hidden, but I’ve noticed how often she rubs the back of her neck when she thinks no one is looking. The truth is, I’m always looking when she’s around, even when I’m not making a conscious effort. My attention naturally gravitates back to her wherever we are and whatever we’re doing.
I’ve stopped trying to fight the feelings I have for her. It’s a pointless exercise, anyway. Even though I hate to admit defeat, conceding my heart to Daisy doesn’t disturb me like I thought it would. Constantly denying my true feelings for her in an attempt to hold on to my bachelor ways was exhausting. Holding back only left me hollow inside, as if a part of me was missing, instead of the sense of freedom I thought I’d have.
“Look at my other sock. Do you think it’s sexier on my foot or flying above my head like this one is?” Maintaining my deadpan expression takes real skill. I should earn an Oscar for this performance. She’s cracking up over my goofball attempts to put her at ease while I refuse to even crack a smile.
“That’s a hard call, Rod. Maybe if you push it down a little, give me a glimpse of your ankle, I could make an informed decision.”
“Wow. Just wow, Daisy. You are trying to get me naked right now. Encouraging me to show you some skin under your mother’s roof. Does she have any idea what you’ve turned into since you left home? I,
for one, think she’d be ashamed of you.”
“Well, you can think that all you want, but you’ll be wrong. My mother is the one who put me in here to share the bed with you tonight. Either you can man-up and show me some ankle skin, or you can sleep in the front yard with Santa and Rudolph tonight.”
I drop the sock from my hand and openly gape at her, pure shock radiating from my expression. I mean, it’s all a fake outrage because she can look at my ankles all she wants, but playing a little hard-to-get never hurt anyone. “I’ve never felt so objectified in my life. Is that all I am to you? Just a way for you to get your under-the-sock skin fix? Fine. Look all you want.”
I drop onto the bed, yank my sock off, and pull up both legs of my pants. “Happy now?”
She wipes the tears from her cheeks and tries to contain her laughter. Tries, but doesn’t succeed. She can barely breathe now, but the pure joy on her face keeps me going. I extend both legs straight out, turning my feet and ankles in every direction possible to give her a peek from every angle. If my acting stupid gives her the outlet she needs to relax and laugh until she cries, I’ll make a fool of myself all night long.
“You know, I’m not really a fan of feet. They sort of creep me out. Know what I do like, thought? Knees. They’re undervalued and underrated, in my opinion. Knees are where it’s at.” She curls her fingers into a loose fist and presses it against her lips in a feeble attempt to prevent a smile.
“Will the insults never end?” I arch one eyebrow. “I suppose simply pulling my pants leg up won’t suffice. You’re trying to trick me into taking my pants off. What sort of trap are you trying to pull on me, young lady?”
All of Me: Rod & Daisy Duet Box Set Page 33