“When are you going to tell her?” Juliana keeps her voice low as she nudges me with her elbow.
“Tell who what?” My obvious confusion only makes her roll her eyes.
“When are you going to tell Daisy you love her?”
Even though she’s whispering in a room full of loud and boisterous people, I feel as if a spotlight is shining directly down on me. I glance around the room and note the multiple conversations occurring at once. A nervous twitch settles in my eye and swallowing suddenly becomes a challenge. No one is paying the least bit of attention to me… except my little sister.
“Um… I, uh… What?”
“You’re not fooling me, Rod. I know you a hundred times better than you think I do.” She reaches for the scrambled eggs and scoops some onto her plate as if we’re having a normal conversation. “If you don’t move past what Dad did to us all those years ago, you’ll never be happy.”
The anvil dropping on the coyote’s head couldn’t be a more perfect analogy of how her words struck me out of the blue. My silence only confirms her assumption is correct, and she knows it. She arches one eyebrow when she meets my dumbfounded expression, then a smug grin covers her face.
It’s good to see her smiling, even if it’s at my expense and regarding a topic I’d rather not discuss. Ever.
But I can’t deny she’s hit the nail on the head.
Chris Stone caused so much pain and suffering when I was a young teenager, I’ve actively and aggressively avoided forming attachments with anyone outside of my little family. When he walked out on us forever after taking the time to say those three words to each of us, love became a fairy tale and life molded me into too much of a realist.
Until a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty caught me in her spell. She makes me want to believe in the fantasy world.
We’ve both suffered at the hands of others, but her inner strength amazes me. She’s been honest and shared information with me others would’ve kept to themselves. Her generosity and fortitude push me to share with her what I haven’t given another living soul outside of my close-knit group.
My trust.
My respect.
My love.
There it is, on the tip of my tongue, daring me to blurt it out in front of everyone. The image of her deer-in-the-headlights reaction nearly makes me laugh out loud. I know her feelings for me are strong or she wouldn’t have forgiven all my idiotic mistakes. She has a generous nature, a loving heart, and a kind spirit. She’s the only woman I can see spending the rest of my life with, and that’s something I’ve never even considered before now.
Before her.
Chris Stone has been standing in the way of my happiness, in more than one way, for far too long. He stole my childhood, deserted my mom and sister when they needed him most, and left us all to navigate life’s rough roads alone. But as I glance around the table, listening to the people I love the most talking and laughing, an unsettling truth about myself hits me.
Something I’ve strived to prevent has happened, despite my best attempts otherwise. I’ve become my father. Maybe not in the same light I usually paint him in, but in many other ways every bit as detrimental. I’ve kept everyone at arm’s length to protect my feelings. In doing that, I’ve missed so many beautiful moments in my life. That era has come to an end.
My best friend will be a father in a matter of months. He and Tracy are starting a life I never imagined wanting before Daisy turned my world inside out. Of course, she did that in the best way possible. The same way Tracy turned Kevin’s world upside down and he’s loving every minute of it. My gaze lingers when Kevin leans toward Tracy, his lips skim across hers, and their eyes lock for a second longer than normal.
Their silent conversation is intimate and cozy, as two lovers who share a secret from the rest of the world. In their case, I suppose they do. Despite the bumpy road they’ve had recently with their family race tensions, they seem closer than ever. Watching them only strengthens my resolve to commit fully to Daisy and Landen.
“Are you okay?” Daisy reaches around from behind me, placing a hot cup of coffee beside my plate. Her voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s full of concern for me.
“I’m more than okay.” I take her hand and press a kiss to the back of it. “This is perfect.”
Her smile lights up my soul.
“Good. Eat up. We’re opening one present after breakfast.” She waggles her eyebrows, and her sweet grin turns instantly mischievous.
“You weren’t supposed to buy me anything. You said only the kids get presents.” I arch one eyebrow in challenge, knowing it’ll do no good.
She shrugs her shoulder. “This one is important. A law, really.”
The kiss she presses to my lips disarms me, giving her the upper hand again. Who am I kidding? As if she ever lost it.
“A law, huh? This should be fun. But I still feel bad I didn’t get you anything.” I could kick myself for this.
“You shouldn’t feel bad, really. You’ll see why this time is different after breakfast. Besides, you’re like a big kid, so technically you fall in that category. Now eat up so we can open presents.”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” Regardless, I do as she commands and scarf down the rest of my breakfast.
Daisy’s extended family streams into the kitchen until the cacophony of voices from multiple conversations overtakes the room. Sitting in the middle of this family circus, all I can see, hear, or think about is Daisy. Even if Hunter and Jase were in my face, ridiculing me for being wrapped around her little finger, I wouldn’t try to deny it. I have no reason to deny it or wish for the circumstances to be different.
She’s all I need.
After breakfast, we move to the den where immediate family members automatically sit together in smaller, tightknit groups. When my eyes drift over the people surrounding me, I realize this is my family. My sister, my niece, the love of my life, my best friend, and the love of his life—these are my people, my clan, my tribe.
Daisy settles beside me, then I wrap my arm around her and gently pull her closer. She angles her body toward mine, slides her arm around my waist, and snuggles her head into the crook of my shoulder. The kids migrate to the tree, staring at the presents in wonder. I’ve always been part of Isa’s Christmases, but this one is so much different. We have an extended family now, and this house is full of warmth and love. Now I can’t wait until late tonight when they catch a glimpse of Santa arriving with a bag full of presents. For the first time in all the years since losing Mom, I’m excited about Christmas.
“Is it time, Mom?” Landen looks up at Daisy with hopeful eyes.
“Yes, baby,” she replies with a chuckle. “It’s time to open one present—but that’s all. The rest of the gifts are for tomorrow morning. Deal?”
“Deal.” He nods while wearing the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on his face.
Daisy moves to the floor and looks through the packages, intentionally making Landen and Isa wait on bated breath. Others join in, passing out a single gift to every member of their family until everyone has one to open. Then the low roar of ripping paper and tearing cardboard boxes overtakes the room. Daisy looks up at me from her spot on the floor as if her Rod radar alerted her to my hesitation.
“Open your present.” Her smile is both contagious and mischievous.
I love it.
After tearing off the yards of decorative ribbon and ripping off the paper, I open the box to find something I never expected. But I’m having a hard time keeping my emotions in check, nonetheless. The weight of her stare is a literal sensation on my skin, but I can’t bring myself to return it just yet. I swallow past the lump in my throat and lift the T-shirt out of the box.
Christmas pajamas don’t normally evoke this kind of response from me. But the front of the shirt has “We Are Family” written in giant red letters. There’s no mistaking the message she’s sending. When I’m finally able to glance around, everyone in my clan is hol
ding up matching shirts with the same slogan. Their smiles are bright and their faces beam with happiness. Juliana and Kevin watch me with a hope-filled intensity I’ve never seen before. But Daisy’s expression is different. She hopes I like the gift, obviously, but that’s not what’s driving the fear hiding behind her smile.
“This may be the best present I’ve ever received. Thank you, babe.” I pull her into my arms and press my lips to hers in appreciation.
“I’m glad you like them. It’s a tradition in our family. We wear matching pajamas for Christmas as a reminder we’re all in this life together. No one faces troubles alone unless it’s by choice.”
My gaze drifts around the room and the magnitude of her words strikes me hard, and what she didn’t say hits me even harder. One family has pajamas with reindeer on them, another with Santa, and yet another with striped onesies—but no one else has our specific pattern. She chose the family message specifically for me, confirming she loves me and understands what I need better than I do.
“All right everyone, let’s go put them on and make sure they fit.” Tracy jumps to her feet and tugs Kevin’s hand, prompting him to follow suit. The rest of the room takes her directive to heart, and soon everyone in the house is rushing back to their bedroom to change.
Once we’re all decked out in our new clothes, we regroup in the den to mingle and share a few good-natured laughs at each other’s expense. Brian turns the TV to a Christmas movie, and we all migrate back to our original spots to enjoy a lazy day around the tree. Daisy snuggles into my side and I pull her closer when I wrap my arm around her. With my lips barely grazing the shell of her ear, I whisper the only sentiment that’s in my heart and mind.
“I love you, Daisy.”
She gasps, inhaling quickly, but then she just stops breathing entirely. In one fluid motion, she pushes up and jerks her head around to look directly at me. Her lips are parted, and her eyes search mine, but she doesn’t reply. Knowing her, and how well she knows me, she’s probably wondering if I actually just muttered those words. I can’t help but smile at her bewildered expression. She couldn’t hide her beauty if she tried.
“My heart is yours, Daisy. My whole heart. It’s been beaten, battered, and left with deep scars, but I’ve never given it to anyone else before you. There won’t be anyone after you if you don’t take it. But I want you to give me a chance to love you, more than anything. I know I’m not offering you much, but it’s all I have to give.”
Enormous tears pool in her eyes and her breaths become ragged. At least she’s breathing again. She had me worried there for a minute.
“Your heart is more than enough for me. Your love is all I need. You’ve given me the best Christmas present I could’ve wished for, Rod. I love you too.”
We seal our love with a searing kiss, one I feel all the way down to my toes. If we were alone right now, nothing would stop me from having her in every way she’d let me. But since dozens of eyes watch us, including a lot of small ones, I mind my manners and contain my desires. When she pulls back, I’m relieved to find I’m not the only one who’s suffering. The heat radiating from her eyes is palpable, but she also reels it in for the sake of company.
Then she settles back into her spot at my side. Our arms circle each other, and we hold on to each other as if we’ll never let go.
The strange thing is, I want to be the man who deserves her love. She’s honest, kind, beautiful, and generous—all the qualities I loved most about my mother and never thought I’d find in another person. Landen admires his mother for those same reasons, that much is patently obvious.
I’m ready to make my entire life centered around her.
Landen walks over and stands in front of us, his eyes darting back and forth before he moves to join us. I assume he’ll snuggle with his mom, but I’m pleasantly surprised when he climbs in my lap instead. With his back against my chest, he leans his head against me and silently turns his attention back to the movie. After a minute or two, he surprises me with a simple question.
“Rod, are you going to be my daddy one day?”
And just like that, I would kill for this child in my lap.
“Is that what you want, buddy?”
He nods, never lifting his head from my chest.
“That’s what I want too, Landen. We’ll work together and convince your mom I’m the best man for her and you both, okay?”
He giggles and vigorously nods his head. “Okay.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Daisy
“But Momma, he was there. I saw Santa, and he had a big bag of presents. How am I supposed to sleep now?” Landen is too wound up to go to sleep anytime soon.
“I saw him too, Miss Daisy. Landen is telling the truth. Can’t we stay up and wait to meet Santa?” Isa’s eyes plead with me as much as her voice does.
I look over my shoulder and shoot an exasperated glance at Rod. His heart was in the right place when he arranged for Santa to make an appearance tonight, so I can’t be mad at him. But these kids are far too excited to go to sleep now. They saw the man himself. We might as well have given them a double shot of espresso followed by a gallon of ice cream before bedtime.
“Did you see him come down our chimney?” Rod asks from the doorway.
“Well, no. We just saw him outside. But I know it was the Santa Claus. He had a suit on and everything.” Landen’s eyes are open wide, and he has a serious expression on his handsome little face.
“Oh, that makes sense then. He’s probably waiting for the good boys and girls to go to sleep so he can bring their gifts. You know he won’t come in while you’re awake. It’s one of his rules.” Rod lowers his eyebrows as if he’s deep in thought. “He’s probably checking his watch right now, wondering if he’ll have to skip in this house so he can still make it to the others on time.”
Landen and Isa both audibly gasp. “Go to sleep, Isa. Hurry!”
I suppress a laugh when they squeeze their eyes shut, as if that means they’re already asleep. “Good night. The faster you really go to sleep the quicker Christmas morning will be here.”
“Good night, Momma.” Landen whispers his reply without opening his eyes. I lean over to give them each a kiss before easing out of the room.
“Nice save, Rod.” As I close the door, I whisper my cleverly veiled jab to him. “That was a close call.”
“I have a stroke of genius from time to time. Usually in response to something I’ve already screwed up, but that’s not the point. Besides, nothing will stop me from getting you alone tonight. Not even Santa.”
We stroll to our room, arm in arm, emotionally closer and more secure in our young relationship. The feelings between us have been building for the last few months, but everything still feels as though it’s happening so fast. Reflecting over my life, it seems I can’t do anything any other way. I’m not fighting my feelings for Rod anymore though. I questioned if this was only all in my mind, but now I know it’s real. One-hundred-percent real and rock solid, even if our bond is still relatively new.
When you know, you know. And I know.
Inside our room, Rod closes and locks the door. When he turns toward me, the predatory gleam in his eyes makes my blood boil with desire. My skin instantly heats, longing for his touch before he says a word. My heart beats faster in anticipation as he makes his way across the room to me.
Each step he takes in my direction is painfully slow, increasing my desire and expectations with every passing moment. Then he licks his lips and I nearly come undone from excitement.
It’s late, and the rest of the house is already in bed. The room next to ours is quiet, telling me the kids were sleepier than they realized. Now that the night belongs to him and me, and I’m ready to relish every last second of it we have left. When the sun rises, so will the rest of our family with it. Between now and then, all I want is to revel in the feel of his fingers on my skin, his lips on mine, and our bodies in perfect sync.
“You know, I always tho
ught it was a dramatization, meant for those romance books you ladies love so much. But now that I’ve seen it for myself, I don’t think I can live without it ever again.” A hint of a small smile plays at the corner of his lips.
“What exactly are you referring to, Rod?” I can’t tear my eyes from his mouth now that I’ve set my sights on it.
“Watching you trying to control your breathing with my every step toward you is mesmerizing. The way your chest rises and falls pulls me under your spell more than I already am. I’ve used all my self-restraint in the few steps between you and the door. Knowing you’re as hungry for me as I am for you is intoxicating.”
“Then you must be thoroughly drunk.”
He nods. “I am drunk… on you.” He threads his fingers through my hair and grips it in his fist. With a light tug, he pulls me toward him.
One moment later, our mouths collide in a hurried frenzy, desperate for more. Then he holds my face in his hands and breaks our kiss. With precision, he controls our movements, taking his time as he makes me crazy with desire and desperate with need. The slow torture of his kiss is sensual and erotic—more so than the frantic pace at first. That was unbridled passion driving us. This is deliberate and calculated—purposeful. With every premeditated move he makes, he sets every part of me aflame.
His fingers graze across my skin as he undresses me. Every touch is like lightning zinging me, traveling through my veins and igniting every fiber in my body. As I stand before him, completely bare in more than one way, not a single fear or doubt creeps in. He’s quieted the voices in my head that warn me against trusting any man. He shows me he’s turned over a new leaf, and how he wants to nurture this bond between us.
Then he makes love to my mind as much as my body. The words he utters while bringing me to the brink of ecstasy repeatedly melt me from the inside out. I’ve turned into putty in his hands. His ministrations lift me to heights I’ve never been before, and I feel as if I was created only for him. Time after time, he takes me to the edge and pushes me over with his words of love whispered in my ear.
All of Me: Rod & Daisy Duet Box Set Page 38