Honesty compelled her to say, ‘You’re not that.’
Matias shot her a surprised look and stilled. ‘Meaning...?’
‘I thought you were one thing,’ she told him awkwardly, looking away and licking her lips nervously, but determined that he must know what she really thought. ‘I thought you were cold and heartless for not coming down here more often. I thought you were just another arrogant guy wrapped up in making money and being rich, without any depth, but you’re not. I can see the way you are with Rose...’
She reddened and stumbled over her words. She felt a bit as if she had thrown herself down a hole without knowing how far she would have to fall, and right now this meandering conversation made her feel that she was falling without a safety net.
‘How’s that?’ Matias questioned gruffly.
‘You do small things for her...reach for her if you think she needs help getting to her feet. You’re solicitous. I think you feel you’re really getting close to her and that you want to try and bridge whatever gap is there between you. Someone arrogant and selfish wouldn’t care about bridging gaps.’
Georgina wondered whether she had said too much. His face was cool and remote. It was impossible to gauge what he was thinking.
‘And I’ve seen the way you look around the house, looking for anything that might need replacing, keeping on top of things without Rose even really realising what you’re doing. So, no. You’re not an egotistical swine. Although...’
‘Although...?’
‘Although,’ she said, bringing herself back on point, ‘you’re still really full of yourself. And if we’re sharing this bedroom then you keep to your side of the bed!’
She folded her arms and tilted her chin.
Matias laughed softly and then disappeared into the bathroom.
No change of clothes—nothing. Georgina eyed the tee shirt Melissa had left for her, and for good measure the pyjama shorts in soft cotton. Both were made for a size eight slightly built woman, but in the absence of anything else they would have to do.
She had no idea how long Matias was going to take, but somehow the thought of following behind him and showering in the shower he had just used made her skin tingle.
She tiptoed out of the bedroom and two doors down found the family bathroom. The cottage was small, but wonderfully equipped and eclectic, but Georgina was in far too much of a rush to admire the mosaic tiles, or the ornate gilt mirror over the old-fashioned sink, or the claw-footed bathtub.
Melissa would be downstairs, experimenting with food. Georgina knew that her friend was a night bird. But she took a very quick shower and was back in the bedroom before Matias was done. Who said that women took their time when it came to their ablutions?
The tee shirt was stretched tightly across her breasts but she had forgone the shorts, which hadn’t fitted at all.
She huddled under the quilt on her side, all lights in the room off, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Her heart almost stopped beating when she heard the bathroom door open and then the soft footsteps of Matias before he slipped under the duvet next to her. The room was in darkness and the torrential rain, still banging against the window panes like angry fists, was strangely cosy and romantic.
She expected him to say something—something sarcastic or teasing or irritating. Something. He didn’t.
He rolled onto his side, depressing the mattress with his weight. It made her cling further to her side, like a drowning man clinging to a lifebelt. His silence was oppressive. It made her wonder whether he was asleep. She found herself listening to his breathing and was then conscious of her own...
Georgina didn’t know quite when she fell asleep, but she did know when she woke up.
The room was still pitch-black and for a short while she was utterly disorientated. The driving force of the rain had softened to a persistent patter, going from sounding like rocks against the windows to pebbles. She needed the toilet, and she cursed under her breath as she tiptoed her way through the bedroom, groping and taking her time because she didn’t want to switch any lights on.
She couldn’t have tried harder to be quiet, but the flush of the toilet and the sound of running water as she washed her hands resounded like the booming of church bells on a Sunday morning.
Tense as a bowstring, she crept stealthily towards the bed. Intent on making no noise, her narrowed eyes pinned to the inert dark shape on the bed, she took her eye off the ball. While her eyes were as keen as an eagle’s, and her breathing as silent as a sigh, her feet were not quite so obliging.
An errant item of clothing on the ground was her downfall and she stumbled, panicked, reached out and fell with a crash.
She had a second’s worth of mindless dismay and then Matias was there. He’d leapt from the bed, slammed on the lights and was kneeling on the ground before she had time to screech that she was perfectly fine.
Mortified, Georgina could barely look at him.
‘What’s going on?’
‘Nothing! Nothing’s going on.’ She tried to scramble to her feet and winced in discomfort. ‘I went to use the bathroom. I’m sorry I woke you up but it was dark and I didn’t want to switch the light on.’
‘Let me have a look.’
‘Go away! Go back to sleep!’
‘Don’t be an idiot, Georgie.’
Georgina didn’t answer. She was miserably conscious of her state of undress and the wretched many-sizes-too-small tee shirt which Melissa had kindly lent her. Not to mention the fact that she was in her underwear because she hadn’t been able to squeeze herself into the insanely tiny pyjama shorts. She was aware of her legs on show, her thighs and her breasts, which were bursting out of their over-tight confinement. She was conscious of her body in a way she had never been in her life before.
She jumped up—and subsided just as fast with a little yelp of pain.
She abandoned the struggle as Matias scooped her up in one fluid movement and carried her to the bed, depositing her as carefully as if she were made of china. He was thoughtful enough to switch off the glaring overhead light, but then he immediately switched on the lamp by the bed, which at least had the benefit of being more forgiving.
Georgina kept her eyes tightly shut. Matias examined her foot, gently turning it in his hand, pressing here and there and asking questions that she could barely answer because her mouth was so dry.
‘You’ll live,’ he said drily, straightening, at which point Georgina risked looking at him.
He was wearing a pair of boxers and nothing else. He was so beautiful that she felt faint. Her heart was hammering and she knew that he would be able to suss out perfectly well what it was she was trying so hard not to convey—because there was a watchful stillness about him, an electric awareness of the situation and only a tenuous thread tethering them both to the straight and narrow.
He broke the connection, turned around.
‘Matias...’ She heard the hitch in her voice.
‘What?’ He slowly swivelled to look at her, a taut, towering, brooding presence that was all shadows and angles.
‘Nothing...’
‘Nothing? Nothing? In that case I’ll go downstairs and work,’ he said, not looking at her. ‘That way you can sleep in peace and you won’t have to try and creep around like a thief if you need to use the toilet.’
He began dressing, and for a few seconds Georgina watched him in tense silence, safely tucked under the duvet, legs drawn up to her chin.
Maybe I don’t want you to go downstairs to work...maybe I don’t want to sleep in peace...maybe I can’t sleep in peace or do anything in peace with you around...maybe, just maybe, I’m sick to death of fighting this thing between us because, for me, it’s been there for ever...
Never had she longed so much to say the unthinkable, to risk it all by throwing herself at him. She’d never had time for lust—but, then again, she’d never known what it felt like to be tempted.
Hands balled into fists, she bit down hard on the temptat
ion and remained silent.
He didn’t stick around. He got dressed fast and walked out of the room without a backward glance, and when the door was shut Georgina sagged back against the pillows and closed her eyes.
Her mobile phone was telling her that it was still very early in the morning. The sounds outside were reminding her of what awaited when dawn broke—water everywhere and rain turning the landscape into a miserable, sodden grey lake.
She was here.
He was here.
He’d never beg her. Or pursue her. Or even hint. He didn’t care about her even if he did have a different take on her now that they’d been flung into one another’s company, just as she had a different take on him.
She was a novelty for him. They weren’t even suited! Could there be any more reasons for not doing what she was about to do...?
Her feet began taking her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Her body was all for it. Her brain was on the back foot and no longer raising any objections. Having ruled the roost for so many years, it was now resigned to obeying stronger commands.
She knew the house and knew where he would be. Either in the office that Melissa used or in the kitchen, with its sprawling weathered pine table and four-door Aga.
She headed straight to the kitchen and hit the jackpot. Because there he was.
Georgina paused in the doorway and her breathing slowed and her heartbeat accelerated. He was staring out of the kitchen window at the inky black rain-lashed gardens, only visible when lightning flashed, illuminating the bending trees and shrubs.
He was still half naked but had slung on his jeans, which rode low on his lean hips. From behind, he was all muscle and sinew and bronzed streamlined beauty.
She padded towards him and knew exactly when he became aware of her presence, because he stilled and then he turned around, very slowly, and looked at her in silence.
He broke the silence to ask her in a roughened undertone, ‘What are you doing here?’
He hadn’t been working. Only one light was switched on, over the kitchen table, so that he was enveloped in semi-darkness. Confused, Georgina wondered whether he’d just been staring out of the window and thinking. Thinking about what? Her?
She held on to that thought because it gave her the courage to stand there in front of him, back in her jeans just as he was, but with the too-tight top an open invitation—whether he realised that or not.
He realised.
He stepped towards her into the light and his eyes dropped to her breasts, lingered there, lingered on the shape of them, their heavy weight and the prominence of her nipples pushing against the thin stretchy fabric.
When eventually his eyes collided with hers, they registered what she was struggling to vocalise.
‘Well?’
He took another step towards her, poetry in motion, his dark, brooding beauty sending shivers through her.
‘Did you want something to drink? Water?’
‘I couldn’t get to sleep,’ Georgina whispered, moving towards him.
‘No?’
Matias paused, just out of reaching distance. It was going to be up to her to close the gap. He’d laid his cards on the table, told her that he wanted her, and she had turned him away. Now he was in charge, and this was his way of telling her that if she wanted him she was going to have to make the first move.
But what if he’d lost interest in the interim?
Georgina shut down that train of thought immediately. She was here and she was going to take what she’d wanted to have for...for ever...
‘No. I started to think...’
‘Thinking can sometimes be a dangerous luxury.’
‘Certainly dangerous...’ She stepped towards him, and she was breathing thickly as she placed one flattened palm against his chest. ‘Because I was thinking about you—thinking about the fact that I want you. Matias, I don’t want to play it safe. You’re dangerous... I know that...but I want to know... I need to know...’
Her voice trailed off and uncertainly she kept her hand where it was, not knowing what the outcome of this was going to be, but knowing that she had to risk possible rejection to find out.
‘You need to know what it feels like to take a walk on the wild side...?’
‘Something like that,’ Georgina muttered inaudibly.
She made to remove her hand, already smelling rejection, but then he took her hand in his and tugged her towards him, a little closer, close enough for her to feel the warmth of his breath on her face.
‘You’re right about me, Georgie. I’m dangerous. And what you’re doing right now... It’s called playing with fire.’
‘I know,’ she whispered. ‘But maybe I’ve lived too long telling myself that playing it safe is the only way for me. I’ve been so careful not to take chances as far as guys are involved but you’re right. Being careful might make sense, but sometimes making sense can be a joyless exercise. You don’t tick any of my boxes...’
‘Who’s interested in a checklist?’
‘I always have been,’ she breathed. ‘Especially after Robbie. I felt like he slipped through the net. You’re right. My parents approved and I suppose I felt at the time that making them proud was important. After all...’ She laughed self-consciously. ‘I spent my life not living up to their expectations. At least that was what I thought, deep down. Never bright enough. Bit of a disappointment, really. So Robbie came along, and they approved, and that counted for a lot... And then...’
And then there was you...there was always you... And who’s to say that Robbie wasn’t my way of trying to escape from the stranglehold you’d always seemed to have over me...?
It occurred to her in a revelatory flash that maybe, beyond the whole lust thing, doing this...taking this step...making love to this man...would snuff out the hold he’d always seemed to exercise over her. The unknown was so tantalising, wasn’t it? Matias had always been her fantasy guy, but as soon as he became a known quantity she would be free of him, in a manner of speaking. He would no longer be a dream inside her head, an untested benchmark against which other men had always been found wanting.
‘And then...?’ he was asking her now, in that dark voice, rich as the richest chocolate, that could make the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
‘And then, when it all fell apart, I sat back and took stock and told myself that I would never make the same mistake again. Next time round I would go out with someone I felt was suited to me. Someone who had all the qualities I looked for. Someone on my wavelength.’
‘But now you like the thought of playing with fire...?’
‘Have you ever played with fire?’
‘Not when it comes to sex,’ Matias murmured huskily. ‘I’ve had one or two nail-biting moments with deals that hung in the balance, but I like knowing where I am when it comes to relationships. We need to go upstairs, Georgie. We need a bed...’
Their eyes tangled, and in the soft light, with the steady drumbeat of the rain against the windows, something inside Georgina twisted. This was the point, she knew, when decisions would be made and there would be no going back.
So she would be taking a risk? But where had being careful got her? This fake relationship was the closest thing she’d got to adventure in years. This man standing in front of her was the closest thing she’d got to exciting in even longer. He wasn’t right for her and he didn’t try and pretend otherwise. He fancied her because... She didn’t quite know why, but he seemed to... And, God, did she fancy him. He took her breath away. Always had.
She could fight the attraction but this was her moment, her window. If she walked away now then he wouldn’t look back, but she would always wonder. He wouldn’t, but she would. He wanted a bed and so did she.
But first...
She ran her hands along his thighs. She couldn’t miss the thick bulge of his erection. A surge of feminine power rushed through her in a wave and she stifled a groan. She laid her hand on it and heard him hiss at the touch,
although he kept himself perfectly still.
Eventually he clasped some of her bright, tangled hair in his hand and gently drew her face up so that they were staring at one another.
‘Think hard,’ he murmured, ‘because you’ll be stepping out of your comfort zone. My mother thinks we’re having a relationship, but we both know the truth...’
‘I get it, Matias. This isn’t for real. I’m not going to start getting confused and delusional. How many times do you think you have to hint at that before you realise that you’re preaching to the converted?’ Her voice was strangled, because thinking straight was proving impossible when the evidence of his attraction to her was pulsing against her hand.
‘Let’s go upstairs,’ Matias urged, his breathing ragged. ‘The way you’re touching me... I need to get these jeans off. I need to feel you...taste you...take you... I want to be inside you, Georgie, hot and hard.’
‘Matias...’
‘That’s nice...’
He kissed her long and hard and deep, until she could scarcely breathe. She just couldn’t get enough of that dragging, hungry kiss.
‘I like it when you say my name like that... I like the sound of you wanting me as much as I want you... I’d take you right here on this kitchen table, but we’ll have to save the adventure for when we have a bit more privacy.’
He drew back, and the hungry darkness in his eyes made her giddy with excitement.
‘For now... Let’s go upstairs...’
CHAPTER SEVEN
THEY MADE IT up the stairs softly and quickly, any noise drowned out by the pounding of the rain outside. The click of the bedroom door shutting behind them made her shudder with anticipation.
‘I need to see you.’ Matias moved to switch on one of the lamps, bathing the room in a mellow glow. ‘I want to see every inch of your glorious body when I make love to you.’
Modern Romance May 2019: Books 5-8 Page 10