But now?
The fear in her eyes only grew. ‘I just can’t be pregnant. Not to—’
‘Me?’ He frowned. Yeah, even she instinctively knew he wasn’t father material. His blood chilled. ‘Sorry, Ettie. I know there aren’t any other possibilities for the baby’s paternity.’
She swallowed but didn’t deny it.
‘Go and do the pregnancy test,’ he ordered. He needed to know. Now.
Her hand shook as she took the package from him. He could all but see her brain processing, frantically remembering dates, the dawning realisation that it might be real. That maybe the reason she’d been feeling rotten wasn’t from any infection.
Why hadn’t she told him just now? What would have happened had he still been away? If he hadn’t been here to see her faint? Would she have told him once she knew? Horror burned. This was everything he didn’t want. Flickering memories stirred—of the childhood he’d hated. Of loneliness and lack of power. Everything he didn’t want.
He paced the room as he waited. He had to get on top of this situation. Now.
She couldn’t look at him when she returned from the bathroom. She didn’t speak either. She just sat back down on the sofa and drew her feet up until she was in a small ball. An intense pressure built in his chest. But he leaned against the wall and waited, even though he already knew.
‘It can’t be right,’ she said in a whisper. ‘We used protection.’
He stared at her fixedly. ‘Nothing is one hundred per cent fail-proof.’
‘Abstinence is,’ she muttered grimly.
Her answer offered a wisp of amusement. ‘You know that wasn’t an option that night.’
She lifted her lashes, her eyes revealing her distress. ‘We’re talking lifelong consequences, Leon.’
So she was going to have the baby. One swirling chunk of unease settled within him.
‘What are you thinking?’ he asked as calmly as he was able. Which was frankly nothing on his usual impassive façade.
She shied away from looking at him again.
‘Ettie?’ His almost customary cool rose a few degrees. This was so personal, so deeply troubling, he couldn’t keep his equanimity. Because it wasn’t quite up to him any more.
‘I need some space.’ She tried to stand up but her face turned grey.
‘Sit down.’ He was furious with her.
‘It’ll pass,’ she snapped.
And just like that the atmosphere flared, leaping right into dangerous. Emotional.
‘Most probably. But until it does, you stay right where you are.’ He huffed out a tight breath. ‘You’re not going back to work today.’ He threw out a gesture to close down the immediate argument in her eyes. ‘Give this today at least, damn it.’
They both breathed out harshly. And then she sank back down to sit on the sofa again.
‘It was a night for me,’ she muttered fiercely. ‘Just for me. Just one night. And now this.’
‘I’m sorry.’ And he truly was. He knew she didn’t do one-night stands. He knew she wasn’t all that experienced. And the one time she’d let herself go? ‘You’ve got to tell me what you’re thinking.’
Because she was thinking—overthinking—if the tight expression on her face was anything to go by. A myriad of emotions flickered in her eyes, but mostly misery.
Finally she turned towards him, squaring her slim shoulders. ‘I’m going to have the baby.’
Yes, he’d known that she would.
But then she spoke some more. ‘You don’t have to…’
A fierce fury enveloped him as she started to negate his input. ‘I don’t have to what?’
Her lack of answer sent him on the attack. ‘You doubt I’d want to be involved?’
‘You can’t even bring yourself to take a dog for a walk,’ she flared up. ‘How are you going to meet a baby’s needs?’
‘I only said I couldn’t walk the dog because I wanted to see more of you,’ he ground out. ‘You know it was my excuse to get you up to my penthouse.’
Her eyes widened and her mouth opened. But she remained speechless. He glared right back at her. She really hadn’t known that?
He muttered something unprintable beneath his breath. ‘I wanted you the second I laid eyes on you, Ettie. And it was the same for you. Frankly, I still want you. Isn’t that a good place for us to begin this?’
Her mouth hung open for another moment. Then she snapped it shut and vehemently shook her head. ‘There is no this. And that doesn’t last.’
Didn’t it? Because it had already lasted longer for her than for any other woman in his life.
He stilled, rapidly reassessing his strategy. He had a highly developed capacity to think through all possible problems, combinations, options in a situation…and he was equally swift to sift and find solutions. An unplanned pregnancy was the antithesis of his life’s ambition. He’d never wanted a child. Never wanted a long-term relationship. He’d never even considered it. But fate in the form of a failed condom was forcing both upon him.
He could barely bring himself to think of an actual baby. It was too tiny, too vulnerable. He wouldn’t even know how to hold the thing. He ran a hand through his hair and dragged back his focus. He’d do what he was good at—management.
While he could provide many important things—wealth, home, an elite education…those things weren’t what really mattered. But he’d ensure it had everything he hadn’t had. Safety. Security…
He glanced back up and saw her sitting on that sofa—her arm already curved across her flat belly in an instinctive, unconsciously protective maternal gesture as she watched him with a very wary expression on her face.
For only a second did he brood on those old, darkest of memories. The fear, the pain, the isolation. His mother had hated him and she’d shown it in almost every action of almost every day.
But Ettie would be a good mother. Probably too good, given that she put everyone else ahead of herself. She did everything within her power for those she loved.
But it was a shame that it had happened so soon for her and with him of all people. Guilt sucked the strength from his bones. He never should have seduced her. He’d been selfish and greedy and now changed her life irrevocably. Because that baby she was carrying was his.
His inner animal wanted to beat his chest and roar. He’d not stopped wanting her in these past few weeks but he’d been determined to do the right thing. He’d kept his distance, respected her wishes…not messed more personally with his latest business acquisition. He’d tried to restore his own control and not break those rules all over again. But this changed everything.
It was very simple now. The baby would have Ettie. And Ettie would have him.
And there was only one tolerable course of action to ensure that: marriage.
It would be an amicable, workable arrangement—basically an acquisition like any other. They just needed to hammer out the terms, come to an agreement and settle it.
But, given the way she was freaking out in front of him, she was going to resist. He was going to have to go gently with her. One thing he’d learned in his business dealings was that in a takeover the acquisition generally loathed being ordered to do something.
‘I want to go home.’ She glanced at him and defiance shone in her eyes. ‘I need some space.’
Leon bit his tongue. Hard. She wasn’t staying in that hellhole of an apartment a moment longer.
‘This is a shock,’ he said after a moment. ‘But we’re going to figure a way through it. I am trying really hard here not to…’
‘Take total control?’ she guessed coldly. ‘Keep trying.’
He glared at her and made himself draw in another steadying breath. ‘I’d like you to live with me,’ he said. ‘I’d like not to have to worry about you when you’re not here.’
‘You’d worry that I wasn’t doing a good enough job alone?’ She got defensive.
He bit back a growl and tried to take even more care over his words
. ‘You’re very good at taking care of other people. Yourself, not so much.’
‘I’ve looked after Ophelia all my life. And myself. I can take care of it,’ she said defiantly. ‘It’s my baby.’
Her statement of claim sent sparks through his blood. There was the fierce tigress—all passion and protectiveness—but he was every bit as protective.
‘Mine too,’ he shot back. Screw gentle. ‘And we will take care of it.’
The look she sent him was pure mistrust and it was so damn unwarranted, it riled him more. ‘We’re equally responsible, so we’ll handle this together.’
She looked away.
He got it. He did. Or he tried to. She was used to taking care of everything by herself. He didn’t know much about her mother, but he got that Ettie, the child, had been the responsible one. She’d been the primary carer for her whole little family. But she needed to understand that he wasn’t going anywhere.
‘I will not abandon you,’ he ground edgily through gritted teeth. ‘And you’re not staying in that damp apartment. That’s not happening.’
‘It’s my home.’
Not any more. ‘You’ll move in with me. Immediately.’
‘You’re not even asking now,’ she said in an accusatory tone. ‘You’re dictating.’
‘Yeah.’
She stared at him, clearly shocked by his unashamed affirmation of the fact.
‘I’m not tiptoeing around, Ettie. Be where you need to be.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m not going anywhere and nor are you.’
Her fragility frightened him, her resistance frustrated him. His own wants made him grouchiest of all. He wanted her in his bed but he couldn’t have that now. He’d have this sorted instead. It was an easy enough fix if they could both keep their cool. He’d tried to reassure her and take it slow, but he was used to giving orders and having them instantly obeyed. ‘You’re not going to wake up in the morning and find me gone.’
Her skin flooded with colour. Because yeah, that was exactly what she’d done to him. He strode over and hunched down in front of her, striking while he had the advantage. ‘We’ll get engaged.’
‘We’ll what?’ She actually shrank back from him.
‘I don’t want everyone thinking you’re just my live-in lover or latest affair; I want you to have more status than that.’ He drew in another deep breath but it did little to take the edge off the irritation that was festering with her refusal.
‘Oh,’ she said poisonously. ‘Because as your fiancée I’d have so much status.’ Her words simply dripped with sarcasm.
‘Ettie,’ he couldn’t help a half-laugh, ‘don’t be a witch.’ He leaned closer. ‘I want this child to be legitimate. It should have its rightful inheritance. This is my reputation as well as yours.’
She wrinkled her nose. ‘You care about your reputation?’
‘I keep my personal life discreet.’ His personal life generally consisted of pleasurable screws with swift conclusions. ‘I’m seen as reliable for my investors. That matters to my business.’
And he was certain it mattered to her. She was afraid he’d abandon her—well, this was one way of showing he wasn’t about to. ‘We’ll get a ring and announce our engagement—’
‘I’m not getting engaged again,’ she blurted, before blushing beetroot.
‘Again?’ Leon stilled as her words sank in and a balloon of outrage burst in his gut. ‘You’ve been engaged before?’
CHAPTER SIX
ETTIE SEEMED TO have frozen in place on the sofa. ‘We don’t know each other at all, Leon. This just can’t work.’
‘Tell me what happened,’ Leon said grimly.
‘It doesn’t matter what happened,’ she snapped.
‘Obviously it does, because it’s rendering you irrational now.’
‘Me irrational? You’re the crazy one—insisting on marriage when it’s completely unnecessary.’
Actually, it was imperative. The more he thought about it, the more crucial the concept had become.
But she leapt up from the sofa and paced away from him. ‘I’m not going through that humiliation again,’ she muttered. ‘I’m no longer that stupid, naive girl who believed in happy-ever-after.’
Her vehemence drew a smile from him. ‘You believed in happy-ever-after?’
She lifted her chin in the face of his amusement. ‘Why shouldn’t I have?’ But then she blushed again and turned away as some bitter memory made her face fall. ‘Forget it.’
He considered her words quickly—humiliation, naivety. ‘He broke up with you?’
She nodded.
He didn’t press for more details. Now wasn’t the time. ‘I’m not promising you moon dust,’ he said with simple clarity. ‘I’m not declaring undying devotion. We’ll have no lies. No false promises.’ He drew in a breath as the perfect plan crystallised in his mind. ‘Don’t think of this as a traditional marriage proposal. This isn’t romantic love, rainbows and unicorns, this is a real solution to a real issue,’ he said. ‘Obviously I’ll financially support both you and the baby one hundred per cent. That’s a given. But here’s my offer. If you marry me, I will pay for all of Ophelia’s schooling. Not just the rest of this year, but all her university studies as well. She wants to do medicine, correct? So a decade or thereabouts of training and specialisation? Paid for. She doesn’t have to stress about getting a scholarship, she just needs to be accepted onto the course. She can choose any university—hell, any country; if she wants to do some parts of it in the States, Europe…that’s fine. All fees, all accommodation costs, living costs, everything. I have it covered. She only has to get the grades.’
He paused, watching intently for her response.
She was motionless, her clear-eyed gaze fixed upon him. ‘You can’t possibly—’
‘Say the word and I’ll have my lawyer draw up the contract. I do not enter contracts lightly, Ettie. And I do not break them. This is a legitimate offer. All you have to do is accept it.’
‘By marrying you.’ Her focus wavered.
‘Yes.’
‘But we don’t love each other.’
‘That’s irrelevant.’ He dismissed the concern with ruthless efficiency. This wasn’t about anything emotional, this was about security, practicality, plain common sense.
She swallowed. ‘You would expect us to remain married…for good?’
Something stirred low in his gut at her question. He ignored it. ‘I don’t see why it shouldn’t work out long-term. However, if things became difficult between us personally, then we’d find an alternative solution. My financial commitment to your sister wouldn’t be broken, however. Nor to you. As the mother of my child, you will always have a home.’
Ettie reeled. He made it sound like she’d won the lottery. ‘Why can’t we find that alternative solution now?’
‘Because I will not allow my child to be born illegitimately,’ he reiterated sharply. ‘However, I don’t imagine that things would become difficult. We work together well, Ettie.’
Work together? He really saw this as an emotionless, uncomplicated resolution? Obviously for him it was exactly that. Because apparently it wouldn’t be the ‘done thing’ for him to have an illegitimate child with a service worker…
And he was playing on her loyalty and love for her sister to get what he wanted. It was ruthless of him. But she suddenly realised that that was what he did—targeted an acquisition and did what it took to make the deal happen. And he did it damn fast. No wonder he’d made all that money by such a young age.
‘You know I can support you, Ettie. I have the finances and the wherewithal to ensure both you and the baby have everything you need,’ he said firmly.
The shutters on Ettie’s bruised heart closed. ‘The baby will need more than financial security.’
She needed more too. Because she knew happiness came from something other than money. But she had the feeling she wasn’t about to get it.
‘Of course, but the basics in life also matter. Food, clo
thing, decent accommodation.’
His cold emphasis on the latter irked her enough to spell it out. ‘What about emotional security?’
‘You already love the baby.’
His simple, swift assertion silenced her and to her horror tears sprang to her eyes. Because in that instant she realised she did. As shockingly unexpected, as inconvenient, as new as it all was…it was wonderful. Raw emotion swept over her at the thought of that tiny little being growing inside her. Their baby. Her imagination sprang into overtime, sending her images of a beautiful child—a female Leon, or maybe a mini-me little boy… If this baby had half Leon’s looks, it was going to melt every heart.
‘Write the list, Ettie.’ He was watching her coolly as if analysing her every word, every expression. ‘All the reasons for, all the reasons against. Make your decision from there.’
There was no ‘decision’ and he knew it. The arrangement he’d offered was impossible for her to refuse. Because it wasn’t about her. It was about this tiny baby. And it was about Ophelia. Leon was offering complete security for them both. Ophelia could just relax and focus on her studies without the added pressure of trying to get a scholarship. He’d said she could apply to any university and Ettie knew he meant it. It was incredibly generous…
But Leon didn’t really want her. It had been a one-night-stand—that was all he’d wanted. And she’d lived with the consequences of a one-night stand. Her sister, Ophelia.
She and Ophelia had both been unwanted by their fathers. She’d watched her mother become embittered by the betrayal of the men she’d wanted to love…to the point where she no longer coped with the normal demands of life. And Ettie had been a fool for love too, hadn’t she? Flattered by the first man to pay her attention… She’d been such an idiot. And now?
Modern Romance May 2019: Books 5-8 Page 41