My Soul To Keep

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My Soul To Keep Page 17

by Jackie Sonnenberg

"That’s…impossible.”

  Even though he said so, I could tell a part of Damien did believe it. He dropped the cardboard box he held to the floor.

  “I don’t know where Becky came up with this, but what’s weirder is that Mitchell wanted that to happen on purpose. I certainly didn’t go into the session with that in mind.”

  “No one did! This is unbelievable.”

  “Except for Mitchell. And probably the upperclassmen. They seem to be in control of everything. That’s what Becky was saying. And it does make sense, even though it doesn’t feel right.”

  Damien stacked some more boxes on top of one another. One easy thing about moving, again, was the very little to no packing you got to do.

  “It left parts of the campus in ruin. We left parts of the campus in ruin. Did we want to do that?”

  “No,” I said looking at him seriously. “But you know what I want to know? How come we’re the only ones who weren’t in on it.”

  “We couldn’t be.”

  “I don’t know,” I said frustrated and looked at the floor. Damien managed to get cookie crumbs all over the carpet, and he was there a grand total of two nights. At least the Best Western staff would vacuum that but at The Manor, we took better care of our rooms and didn’t leave everything to Carol.

  “I mean, I’m still coming,” Damien broke the ice. “Of course I’m still coming. I mean, supernatural abilities and out-of-body experiences and stuff... It sounds crazy that I want to go there, but I do. I want to learn more. I want to find out more about this group and…this power.”

  “That is why I’m staying.”

  “Me too. More than ever I want to know what is going on with this group. I’m scared but I’m interested.”

  “That is how I feel. Exactly how I feel.”

  We made sure more of his boxes were full and taped up. Then for the first time that night Damien and I locked eyes and spoke without words. He was ready to go.

  ***

  Damien’s move happened quickly and smoothly, and I was happy when that moving van showed up. He perfectly planned it on a boring Sunday afternoon, where the sun was buried behind threatening frosted clouds but no snow fell, not yet. The trees outside were stiff from cold but the creek’s waters still ran unharmed. Friends helped us carry Damien’s stuff to his room, which was a floor above mine on the third floor. Now that Damien was a part of the house, it changed for me, and I mean it made it better. When I went to sleep I knew he was right above me, and it made me happy. It made me feel not so alone.

  I was having Ramen noodles when Damien finally came downstairs, smiling at the “regulars”—the residents.

  “All done?” I asked him.

  “Yep,” he said joining me at the table. I slurped some noodles while Iris and Kimberly came into the kitchen to get drinks. They shut the fridge and smiled at us, Iris’s smile especially daunting and maybe a little flirtatious towards Damien. I swallowed those noodles without chewing.

  “What’s with them?” Damien whispered once they left.

  “Natural disaster went to their heads,” I replied, also whispering. “Iris, though. She…seems a little weird sometimes.”

  Damien shrugged.

  “Hello my special children!” announced Mitchell as he walked into the kitchen, and he was quite the beam of sunshine. His smile was so big it looked like it was hooked on to each ear.

  “Dinner is on me tonight!” he cried. “We’re having a pizza night!”

  Of course, everyone loved that.

  “We are celebrating how strong our spirits got since the start of the term. Not only are we strong in mind, but we are strong in spirit, and not just as individuals, but as a whole group. The White Light gave us a beautiful day as a reward. And as my reward I am ordering pizzas tonight, so don’t make any plans!”

  Mitchell disappeared a moment after that, off to find other groups of students to repeat his message, Ad Astra trailing behind him.

  “How’s that for going to someone’s head?” Damien jerked his chin behind him, once again making sure only I heard it.

  “I guess we’ll find out exactly what is going through it.”

  Of course, Mitchell sent out a group email about the pizza party, because the entire student group showed up that night. There had to be at least ten to twelve of those wonderful square boxes waiting on the tables for us. The pizza tasted even better for me knowing as a resident, I got dibs on leftovers.

  “Everyone,” Mitchell called out once we slowed down. “Everyone, tonight we are having this treat as a token of pride, and not to mention gratitude. We stand strong together, and you all have grown so much since the beginning of the year. I am so proud of all of you and your abilities to look inside yourselves and cast such strong Lights. We feast in celebration of that, but also, there is more.”

  We figured out by now that when Mitchell paced, he demanded attention, and attention was always what he got, whether voluntarily or not.

  “I understand there is some buzz going around among some of you regarding recent events.”

  My veins prickled, and I was certain Damien’s and Becky’s did as well.

  “Let me assure you, you have nothing to worry about. There is nothing to concerned about and you having nothing to fear. No harm will come to you. You are special. You cannot be touched.”

  Yeah. We were special, all right. The prickles in my veins got replaced with heat. We were special. Our spirits were like…The Chosen Ones. Or something like that. Weren’t they?

  Well, us “Chosen Ones” finished our pizza feast happily. Mitchell waited until we were done eating and chatting idly to speak up again.

  “I will send out another email, but we will be having another Open House night, complete with our very own recipe for hot chocolate! You see, it is fate that our posters still hang on campus. They stand strong. Our message is meant to be heard. We must grow our numbers if we want to be stronger, especially in the events to come…”

  Some people murmured, but then quieted down immediately.

  “We were tested, no doubt. The White Light is counting on us. We have to be prepared for everything and anything. We will have flyers printed up for you shortly, my Lights. But until then, we will enjoy the rest of the evening with some homemade cookies and movies in the upper lounge!”

  Damien, Becky and I, we all just relaxed that evening. Chocolate chunk cookies were passed around and we gobbled those up and forgot about everything else. Mitchell told us not to be afraid. He said we were special, and we would be taken care of. And when Mitchell told us not to be afraid, we weren’t.

  Chapter 20

  I was so glad I busted out my hat, scarf and gloves. Jack Frost skipped the nipping stage and went straight to chomping. I bundled up so much I could pass for Randy from A Christmas Story with his multiple layers. All the students looked this ridiculous, of course, when our means of transportation was on foot.

  The stack of yellow flyers fluttered in my arms in between classes. I found random places to put them, mostly in groups so I could be rid of the stack. Mitchell pushed us to get the Open House & Hot Chocolate invites out as soon as possible, and this excited a spark in all of us. What was he planning? What were we going to do next? Once I got back to The Manor at the end of the day, I released the scarf from my face, finally able to breathe properly. Becky and Damien were by themselves watching TV.

  “Hey,” I greeted them.

  Becky looked at me, chewing on her lower lip as Damien nodded in my general direction.

  “Sky will tell you,” she said to him.

  “Tell him what?”

  Damien sat up on the sofa. “Becky has been telling me about some…encounters she had around the house.”

  “Yeah,” Becky interrupted. “The ones she had too, only this time I heard more fists banging on all the walls. I heard a bunch of them today, all over. I heard more voices, too. I could swear I heard them.”

  I sat down, unzipping my coat and tossing it aside for th
e time being.

  “I heard that too.”

  “I haven’t heard anything yet,” Damien replied. “I mean, I’ve heard voices and stuff on my floor but I assume it’s the people in the other rooms. I think.”

  “They’re here, all right,” I said. “You’ll see eventually. I can’t figure out who they are or what they want.”

  “Do you think we could find a way to talk to them?”

  Silence answered Becky’s question, as we let that sink in, the idea was more than a little frightening. During this time Ad Astra dashed through the kitchen and down the stairs to the lower lounge.

  “She’s an indicator,” I said.

  “Who?” said Damien looking up.

  “The cat. She just ran downstairs.”

  “Maybe she was chasing something.”

  “Yeah. Something we can’t see.”

  “I saw her come out when I was checking out those noises.”

  “What did you find, Becky?” I asked her.

  “I don’t really know, but it sounded like someone was in pain or angry, or both. I tried to look around, but then they were gone.”

  We all heard the familiar tapping of Seth’s stick at the front door. He came in, removed his coat and placed it on the coat hook before entering the house. For some reason, all three of us became quiet when he did. It was like some unspoken agreement that we all wanted to watch him privately, trying to make sense of his life. He made his way through the halls and to the stairs to the dormitories—making very little to no use of his stick at all. He knew The Manor intimately by now—and it knew him. Protecting, watching, and guiding. It was what The Manor did.

  ***

  I got my homework done at a decent time, even though I couldn’t stop thinking about what Becky told us. We retreated to our own rooms to do homework before the hot chocolate party. We didn’t even know how many prospect members would show up, but we didn’t care. I sat in my room, almost thinking for a second I would have my own meditation session then and go somewhere else for a while. I did that sometimes when I felt stressed out, but it was rare. It felt more rewarding and protective to do it with the group. Besides, I actually didn’t want to go somewhere else. I wanted to stay right there, right among those walls to get a better idea of what was in them.

  So, I listened.

  I sat on my bed, not really looking at anything and not really thinking anything. I listened, opening up my mind to my surrounding. I saw Ad Astra saunter by as my door was left open. She looked in my room and at me and then stared at something by my window. In seconds she took off like a flash. I looked immediately to that window. Saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing.

  “Are you here?” I whispered. I knew something had to be. Someone…or something…had to know. “Is…anyone here?”

  I got an answer, but it wasn’t one I expected. Damien showed up at my doorway.

  “Hey,” he said casually. “Iris asked to come help out downstairs.”

  He came in, reading the look on my face and the yoga position I was in. He looked all over the room and up at the ceiling.

  “Are you…connecting with something?”

  “No luck.”

  “Is it your dad?”

  “Somewhere, but I don’t think he can come here. Something about complications with spiritual planes.”

  He smiled at me, and I actually hopped off bed. “I’ll come help,” I offered.

  Geez. Mitchell went so far as to have yellow balloons tied to everything, from the stair banister to the bathroom doorknob to the fence outside the house. I didn’t even remember seeing them anywhere until the Open House Party, but there they were, floating everywhere like an obnoxious birthday or engagement party. I saw a line of GOL members pass by all decked out in cloaks. As soon as I got downstairs Kimberly had one for me.

  “Here, Sky!” she said draping one over my shoulders. “We had to iron these.”

  “Oh, thanks,” I replied slipping my head through, but leaving the hood on my back for the time being. I was certain she gave me a large instead of a medium and I was facing tripping over it all night long. Before I could say anything she left down the hallway in a hurry. I thought I would at least deal with it. It would be the least of my problems that night.

  Our new friends stood in the kitchen and lounge area. There were about nine of them, bunched together like awkward sardines among the black cloaks. Everyone all talked together and ate chips and dip while the pot on the stove bubbled the hot chocolate. It was my understanding we would eat and drink and mingle with the potential newcomers, and then bring them downstairs for a “simple” group meditation and spiritual discussion. We were not to have traveling spirits, Mitchell warned, we were to keep our spirits intact and focus on our new friends. Only the true members should know the power.

  Despite the smug attitude Mitchell had that night, it was actually kind of pleasant. The hot chocolate had to be the best I’ve ever tasted in my life. It wasn’t just that powdered stuff you added to water or milk; it was like someone made the perfect chocolate candy bar and then melted it. It was not too rich, not too hot, and it was actually borderline chug-able. I forgot everything when I went for that second cupful. Damien, Becky and I had no problem showing those new people the ropes, and the best house on campus. We all were having fun talking, and it made them have fun and talk as well. They made themselves right at home, and GOL gained those nine new members without spoken word. My veins running chocolate, my pores sweating chocolate, I almost thought someone had spiked it, and I actually did not care.

  “Time for some relaxing reflections, everyone!” Mitchell announced. The upperclassmen led everyone downstairs and we waited for the cue from Mitchell. Once he followed us down, he stood at the front and admired his growing group.

  “Here at Guardians of Light, we do a lot of spiritual awareness, spiritual cleansing, and spiritual growth. I invite you—I invite us all—to do some inner reflections. Concentrate on what you want in yourself to be stronger. What about yourself do you want to change? How do you want to be better?”

  I relaxed, but I didn’t reflect much. I don’t know, I actually felt like I didn’t need it for once. I felt fine just the way I was. The new people, though, they had some catching up to do if they were going to be with us. The only thing I felt was sleepy. I admit that staying up late and having morning classes always did me in. That was my excuse. I couldn’t understand what made everyone else feel the same. The minute Mitchell said we could open our eyes, we complained and cringed that the light hurt our eyes although it was pretty dim. Some students rubbed their eyes very hard, and some even yawned.

  “Stay with me children, don’t fall asleep!” scolded Mitchell with a chuckle. “Now, to our new friends, what did you reflect on? Don’t be shy, share with us. We are a family.”

  All the new kids sat together, of course, and shared their thoughts down the row. They wanted to have more confidence, get better grades, all the usual stuff.

  “And you can be!” Mitchell enthusiastically declared. “You can have stronger spirits. You are well on your way already, and it started with the decision to be a part of this group.”

  I was so glad when the evening ended. I was already getting bored. I might have almost bored myself to sleep because I had a hard time getting up. My bed was calling me, and I was actually annoyed it couldn’t just float downstairs and come and get me itself. Everyone took their time getting upstairs.

  “I’m afraid we’ve kept you past your bedtime,” Mitchell said to the new people. “I will arrange a security ride back to the dorms. Can’t have anything happen to you on your first night, now.”

  GOL members dragged themselves upstairs, however difficultly. Who knew that such a short meditation could make everyone so sluggish? We felt and looked weak. Before the newbies left they were given some handouts and small bags of cookies.

  “Go on and tell your friends about us!” Mitchell said to them. “Please bring some more friends with you to our n
ext meeting!”

  We were left with cleanup and leftover snacks. No one really felt like cleaning up, but we gathered trash and dishes like clockwork and didn’t stop until all the dirty hot chocolate mugs were rinsed out, and all the soiled paper plates were thrown away.

  “Good work, my children,” said Mitchell, appearing out of nowhere. “Now, off to bed.”

  That was an easy thing to do.

  Chapter 21

  I woke up feeling like my body was just a burlap bag full of rocks, stiff and hard and an effort with every move. I rubbed my hands down my arms and legs to wake them up, startled that my brain was awake while the rest of me was still asleep. I tried to remember any dreams that I had with no success. I could not remember anything I even meditated about.

  After class, Damien and I went back to The Manor and the first person we saw was Becky, and what she was doing made us both stop short and stare. Her back turned, Becky had one ear pressed against the wall in a corridor. She mumbled a little, crawling her fingers up the wall like itsy bitsy spiders.

  “If you can hear me, make a noise…” I heard her whisper.

  Neither of us moved, afraid of interrupting but also afraid of her getting a response. Some other people came through the front door and interrupted that moment of silence, causing Becky to turn around. The others made their way to their rooms to do homework and Becky approached us.

  “Did you guys feel funny today?”

  “I guess so,” I answered. “I definitely did this morning.”

  “I did too,” Damien said. “I am not really sure why.”

  “I want to talk to you,” she said. “About...something I think I figured out.”

  Becky led us down the corridor towards the lower lounge, where we found an empty room. She shut the door behind her and pressed her ear against it and looked at us. Her face was almost as gray as the plaid in the uniform skirt.

  “I think the ghosts can possess us.”

  My stomach curled as I stared at the expression on her face.

  “What?”

 

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