‘Seeing this photo, and how happy he was to graduate, it does help. I didn’t want him to give up anything for me. I hope one day he will understand that. I know he’ll never forgive me – I don’t think I’ll forgive myself – but maybe he’ll understand.’
‘I think he already does. You were in an impossible situation.’ Rory nodded towards the kitchen. ‘Come on, let’s go in and eat. Izzy’s a great kid, Beth. You did good.’ He turned and sloped off again.
I took one last look at the photo and then I followed him.
Drew had laid the table with an array of food, and everyone was sitting down. There was freshly baked bread, chunks of cheese, chutney, sausage rolls, tomatoes, hard boiled eggs fresh from the hens and slices of ham and beef. Drew poured out glasses of homemade lemonade for everyone.
‘An indoor picnic,’ he said, giving me a small smile as I joined them.
‘This looks amazing,’ I said. I sat down next to Izzy whose cheeks were pink from the fresh air. ‘I’m going to be a stone heavier after this Christmas at this rate.’
‘I never knew you two were so domesticated,’ Heather said as Rory sat down next to her. ‘I should come here more often.’
‘Only if you wear wellies,’ Rory replied, sternly. ‘In fact, I might buy you a pair for Christmas.’
‘I’ll only wear them if they’re sparkly.’
‘Bloody hell,’ he muttered under his breath as he handed her the basket of bread.
Izzy let out a cry then, peeking under the table. ‘Oh, it’s a cat,’ she said, when she realised what had brushed against her.
‘That’s Tabby, our mouse hunter,’ Rory told her.
‘Tabby? Honestly, what a name,’ Heather said, shaking her head.
‘Tabby is a rubbish hunter,’ Drew said to Izzy. ‘I don’t think he’s ever caught anything. Prefers just to eat and sleep.’
‘I wish we had a pet,’ Izzy said, popping a tomato into her mouth. ‘Our flat doesn’t allow animals though.’
‘Same for me in Boston,’ Drew said. ‘We’ll just pretend that Tabby is ours for now.’
Izzy ‘accidentally’ dropped a bit of her ham on the floor. ‘That’s a good idea. Maybe we could get Granny to have a pet at the Hall?’
I smiled at her. ‘I’m not sure you’ll have much of a shot with that, but you can try. I think she’d be too worried about cat hairs around the house, to be honest.’
After lunch, Rory took Heather and Izzy out to see the goats and I helped Drew wash up the lunch things. The radio was on softly in the background and the wintery sun streamed in through the window by the sink. I looked out at the three of them walking towards the back field and I couldn’t help smiling.
‘She seems to like it here,’ Drew said, catching my smile as he passed me a plate to dry.
‘She loves it. I knew she would. I loved coming here. Your house was always warm and cosy and full of life, so different from mine.’
‘How has it been coming home?’
‘Better than I thought. My mum and I seem to be finally getting past some of our issues, after we found out that a lot of what we thought about the past was wrong. I think she’s been quite lonely lately. My gran being ill has been hard on her, and my dad hasn’t helped much. She’s happy to have us there I think.’
‘I’m sure she is. What about your gran – how is she doing?’
I told him about her illness. ‘They don’t think she’ll last much beyond Christmas. It really feels like it’s almost time to say goodbye. It’s hard. I spent so many years resenting her…’ I told him then what she had said to me before I left. ‘She really made me feel as if I was all alone and had no choice but to leave. And now I know my parents didn’t even know that I was pregnant.’
Drew was quiet for a moment. ‘I wish you had told me, Beth. I had a right to know. I could have helped. We could have decided what to do together. You know that, right?’
I nodded. ‘I know that now. Back then, it wasn’t so clear. I was scared, so scared, and I didn’t want you to give up on your dreams for me.’
‘I know.’
‘If I made the wrong choice, I did it out of love. For you, for Izzy, for all of us. I got it wrong, I can see that now. But if you had not gone to America, I would have never forgiven myself and maybe you would have resented me in time. I don’t know.’
‘I don’t know either.’ He sighed. ‘What I do know is I am happy that I get to be with Izzy now. She is special, isn’t she?’
‘She is.’ I nudged him then. ‘We made her. Can you believe it?’
‘I really can’t.’ He smiled, and it felt as if we had turned a corner and maybe things would be okay. ‘I just wish I didn’t live so far away. It’s going to be so hard going back to Boston now.’
‘I know. But there are so many ways to stay in touch. You will always be in each other’s lives now.’
‘You promise?’
I met his gaze. ‘I promise.’ He handed me a dish and our fingertips brushed. I didn’t know if he felt it, but heat flooded through me at the simple touch. His hand moved away, and I felt the loss instantly. I wished he would touch me again. My skin seemed to crave it. I looked away from him in case my face betrayed me.
It was crazy that his touch could still do that to me after all the time we had been apart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Mum, Heather and I piled into mum’s Range Rover and we drove to Glenmarshes for our appointment with a Development Officer on the local council. Mum’s friend had got us the meeting with her son, a Mr Murray, to discuss their plans for Glendale village. As we’d agreed, we didn’t say anything to my father about the meeting or our ideas for Glendale.
The three of us marched purposefully from the car park into the low-rise office building. Mum was in her Chanel suit complete with pearls and court shoes, Heather had on a black wool dress with boots and I had put on my smartest jeans with a camel cashmere jumper Mum bought me for Christmas the previous year, which I had never had anywhere to wear it to before now. We were directed, once inside, up to the first floor where the receptionist showed us into Mr Murray’s office. It was a tiny room with an even smaller window looking out over the car park. The man himself was small in a grey suit that looked as if it had seen better days, and he was much younger than we were expecting. I saw Mum hide a smile. I knew that she thought we could take him. I was feeling much more hopeful myself.
‘Mr Murray, I am Caroline Williams, and this is my daughter, Beth, and this is Heather Douglas, who works at Glendale library,’ my mother said in her poshest voice.
We all shook hands and I could see Mr Murray was a little nervous. Even though my family had drawn back from village life, the Hall was known throughout Glendale – as was our family’s money – so for one of the first times in my life, I was glad that such things had an influence on people, and hoped they would on Mr Murray. He sat down behind his desk and we perched in the three plastic chairs opposite him.
‘Mr Murray—’ my mother began.
‘Oh, please, call me Edward,’ he interrupted.
My mother’s eyes narrowed. ‘I asked for this meeting because I have been stunned to hear the news that not only is the Glendale library being closed down, but you are selling off the high street to developers who are going to turn it into flats.’
‘We are in talks to do so yes and we will be having a public consultation in the new year, where residents can raise objections if they have any.’
‘I have reason to believe that will be too late by then,’ Mum replied. We knew that Dad’s company were meeting the council to finalise plans before then so I was sure this public consultation would just be lip service.
‘What we’d like to know is what we can do to change your mind about selling to them,’ I said then. ‘Surely you would rather keep the high street for the local community to use? I understand this company is offering you a lot of money, but isn’t it in the best interests of Glendale to find a better alternative?’
r /> Mr Murray thought for a moment. ‘What alterative is there? All but two of the shops are empty.’
‘Because of your high rents!’ Heather burst out then looked embarrassed and sat back quickly.
‘People just don’t use the village any more,’ he continued. ‘The two businesses left are keen to sell, so there really isn’t any other option. The library isn’t used enough for us to justify funding it any more when we have other priorities in the local area that we need to pay for.’
‘What if we could show you that there is still a community in Glendale? One that you should be fostering, not destroying?’ I asked.
‘Well, how would you do that?’
I told him about our plan to build a trail and bring the village together. ‘It’ll be a great opportunity for everyone to be involved, a community project, and one that will show you people do want to save Glendale.’
‘I’m sure that would be lovely, but it wouldn’t help with the problem of the empty premises on the high street.’
‘What if we could fill all the empty premises? What then?’ Heather asked him.
‘If you could find businesses that are able to pay the full rent then we would consider that seriously.’
‘So,’ I said, quickly. ‘You’re saying that if we could fill the high street with local businesses able to pay the rent you currently charge then you wouldn’t sell to these developers?’ I asked him.
‘Well, now, I would have to speak to—’
‘Mr Murray, you were born and raised in Glendale as all of us were. Surely you want to keep it for the local community? Surely the council want that above anything else? I mean, the local press would have a field day if they knew you would rather sell it off and ignore a perfectly good alternative plan…’ Mum said, pointedly.
‘Of course,’ Mr Murray roused himself then. ‘If you can come up with an alternative plan then we would obviously rather that than selling off the premises. I don’t think we need to contact any journalists until we have sorted things out between ourselves, do you?’
My mother smiled. ‘Of course not. We will see you at the trail, Mr Murray, and then you’ll see how keen everyone is to save our village.’ Mum stood up and held out her hand to him. ‘And in the meantime, we have your word that nothing will be agreed regarding the redevelopment of the high street?’
‘We have a meeting on the fifth of January with New Horizons to discuss their bid so, yes, nothing will be agreed until then.’
‘Thank you for your time,’ Mum said, shaking his hand firmly.
We marched out the way we had come, each of us feeling like we had secured a reprieve for the village but knowing we still had a monumental task ahead. Not only finding people willing to run a business on the high street again, but creating a trail that would knock the council’s socks off and make everyone believe in Glendale again.
‘But we have hope,’ Heather said when we were back in the car. ‘And that is something we didn’t have this morning.’
‘We are going to need to talk to your father,’ Mum said, looking across at me. ‘He won’t be happy his deal isn’t going to be signed before Christmas now. And then we need to talk to all the businesses that have closed up and see what can be done to get them to reopen.’
‘We could have a village meeting,’ Heather suggested. ‘I can rally everyone, I’m sure I can.’
‘If we can show the council that everyone in the village really wants this, maybe they would budge on the rents. Maybe do a deal with us?’ I wondered.
‘Maybe,’ Mum said. ‘Let’s do all we can to make it as hard as possible for them to sell off the high street.’
‘I don’t think they’ll budge on the library, though,’ Heather said, sadly. ‘It really isn’t being used enough.’
‘We’ll try,’ I told her. ‘That’s all we can do.’ I really hoped we could do something to make a difference. I couldn’t leave without knowing I had done all I could to change their minds. I had started this trip counting the days until I could go back to London, but suddenly there didn’t feel like there was going to be enough time to do everything that needed to be done before I would be leaving Glendale.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I curled up on the sofa with Izzy as the rain hammered against the window. We were in the living room, a tartan blanket over our knees. We had just put on The Muppet Christmas Carol: a film we watched every festive season. As the menu flashed up, I looked across at my daughter. ‘Tomorrow we need to buy some things for the trail.’
‘Can Drew come with us?’
‘I can ask him.’ She nodded so I pulled out my phone to text him. ‘We definitely need a lot more lights.’
‘And an inflatable Santa.’
‘Well, don’t tell Granny we’re getting one.’
She giggled, and I started the film, sending off the message to Drew to see if he wanted to join us on our mission. I leaned back to watch the Muppets and it was nice to have a quiet moment with Izzy, just the two of us. This Christmas felt like a period of massive change for us, and everyone around us, and I was grateful to take a moment doing something we had always done. I tried to shut off my mind from thinking about everything else that was going on.
Later though, that proved to be impossible. The film over, we put on Home Alone – another classic Williams festive film – but Izzy fell asleep halfway through, so I put the blanket over her and left her to go and see what was happening with my parents. Night had wrapped itself around Glendale Hall by then, and I padded softly on the carpet towards my dad’s study, where I heard raised voices coming from inside.
‘Why won’t you put your family first for once?’ Mum flung at him.
I stood in the open doorway. My father was sat at his desk, my mother standing nearby, looking furious. ‘Everyone okay in here?’ I asked, at a loss for what else to say. I flashed back to listening to an argument between them when I was about Izzy’s age; it had scared me in a way I hadn’t understood at the time. I think I feared that it meant they were going to split up. Now though, I wondered if that would be the best decision for them both.
‘Your mother has just informed me that you’re all doing your best to ruin this deal with the council for me,’ Dad replied in a dry tone.
‘I hardly think this deal not happening will ruin you,’ Mum flung back.
‘We have shares in this company, Caroline… it’s in our interest for the deal to go through.’
‘But we’ll be fine if it doesn’t,’ she replied. ‘This is about your fancy woman being angry if it doesn’t go through, especially if she finds out your family were the ones who scuppered it.’ She crossed her arms over her chest. ‘You used to care about Glendale.’
‘The village will be better if we take it over. It’s a ghost town. This will bring life back into it.’
‘But there won’t be anything for the community,’ I reasoned with him. ‘Just flats. How will that help anyone but your profit? This isn’t your company, Dad, you’re just on the board; can’t you see that what’s best for Glendale is for us to help it, not destroy it?’
‘I’m going to have to tell—’
‘You will not,’ Mum roared furiously. ‘You are not to tell anyone anything. We have until after Christmas to make our case to the council and then they will decide. I won’t have you upping your offer or making any deals behind our backs. Otherwise, you can pack your bags right now and get out.’
Dad and I stared at her. Not once had I ever heard her speak to him like that. I kind of wanted to give her a cheer, to be honest, but I sensed that wasn’t the best move. ‘I have to tell Cathy,’ he added more quietly. He was slumped in his chair now, sensing defeat perhaps.
‘How dare you even say her name to me.’ Mum spun around then and marched out of the room, her head held high.
‘Dad, how could you do this? Can’t you see how much you are hurting her?’
He looked at me and shook his head. ‘It’s complicated, Beth.’
�
��It doesn’t seem all that complicated to me. You’re having an affair. You clearly don’t care about Mum’s feelings any more. Why are you still here? Why don’t you just leave?’
‘Do you know what people would say if I left her?’
‘Jesus, you did not just say that. That’s pathetic. No one cares what we do any more, Dad. You’ve not only cut yourself off from Glendale but you’re trying to tear it all down, so what exactly are you worried about? That you won’t be welcome at your golf club any more? That no one will ask you to dinner parties? That’s enough, is it, to put Mum through all of this? Do you even care about this family any more? Or do you only care about your other woman? You know what, she’s welcome to you.’ I left him then, hoping some home truths might shake some sense into him. In my mind, there were two options – move out to be with Cathy or break things off and try to repair his marriage to my mother.
I found Mum crying into her G & T in the other room. ‘Mum, you should not be crying right now. All of this is on him. And you really shouldn’t be drinking again.’ I took the glass out of her hand. ‘Everything is going to be okay, you know that, right? If he leaves, you will be fine.’
She looked up. ‘You think so? Really?’
‘Of course I do.’
‘It’s been a miserable few years. I am stuck in this house with nothing to do. And now my mother…’ She let out another sob.
‘Listen, there’s no need to stay stuck in the house. There is so much you could do. And we’re starting with this project. We’re going to save this village, and then we’ll work on what you can do next. You’re not alone any more, Mum.’ I had spent so many years feeling resentful of my family, especially of my mother, believing that she hadn’t supported me when I needed her the most. Now I knew that hadn’t been the case at all, so I sure as hell was going to support her now when she needed me the most.
Coming Home to Glendale Hall Page 13