You know the feeling you get in your stomach when you’re kissed like that? It was as if my ovaries exploded and my lungs were paralyzed. The only thing I could feel was the warmth of his lips against mine. The soft, silky feeling of them gliding against my own. The gentle caresses of his tongue.
He pulled back just as slowly. I couldn’t even open my eyes. I could hardly even breathe. I felt his thumb brush against my cheek. I heard the soft velvet tones of his voice, “You alright, love?”
“Mmmmm…” I moaned, “... couldn’t be better.” My lips pulled up into a satisfied smile. My eyes opened slowly to meet his.
His smile spread into a mischievous grin. That damn dimple. “Oh, babe. I can do so much better than that.”
“Promise?” I begged.
Tobie growled and pulled me tight against his body. “Don’t tempt me.”
I pressed another kiss to his lips, struggling to regain my grip on reality. “So, Mr. Miller, where are we going for dinner?”
“You’re already here.”
“We’re eating here?” I asked, a bit taken back. “But aren’t your dad and Susan home?”
Tobie smiled, “Is that ok?”
“Of course it’s ok… I think… I mean… you don’t think it’s weird?… or…or... too soon?”
He wants me to meet his parents already? I mean, technically, I’ve known them for years but only in the context of being Hannah’s best friend’s parents. My parents had been friendly with Jack after Tobie’s mom had left and he and Hannah got close but that was mostly because they wanted to make sure she was hanging around good people. I’d met Jack here and there a few times. He was a nice man, larger than life, a big teddy bear. He was physically big, too. Not as tall as Tobie, maybe an inch shorter, but just as broad. And with a gut.
“Amber. You introduced me to your best friends two nights ago. Isn’t it fair that I get to do the same?”
“Oh… um… I guess so?”
Tobie pulled me against his large frame, his strong arms wrapping all the way around me. My face rested against the heat of his chest. I revelled in the soft thumping of his heart in my ear. The warm scent of him. “It’s going to be fine. They already love you.”
“They hardly know me. And that was before they knew about us.”
“Us.” He sighed and held me tighter.
Jack
“Suz!” I called from the garage door. “Where you at, hon?”
“Kitchen!” she called back.
I pulled off my work boots and knocked the dirt off on the garage step before tossin’ them to the side of the steps. It’d been on helluva day. The Foster project was one of the biggest developments my company had seen in five years. Landin’ this account was huge. Bill and I had been courtin’ Harrison Foster for the last six months tryin’ to persuade them to give us the business and I’ll be damned if the reason they ended up givin’ it to us was because I’d hired Tobe on as one of my Project Managers. Foster had liked that we were a family business.
You can bet your ass that I’d taken Tobe to meet Foster as soon as he came in this mornin’ and made a big fuckin’ deal about how I’d assigned him to co-manage the project with Bill. It’d be the perfect way to break Tobie in and make our biggest customer happy. Bill helped me build this company from the ground up and he was one of my most trusted friends. He’d be the perfect mentor for Tobe seein’ as he and I would probably have butted heads more than once. Sayin’ today had been a big day was an understatement. Today had been a big fuckin’ deal.
“Hey, hon.” I found Susan in the kitchen, bustlin’ around making dinner. I headed toward the fridge to grab a beer.
“No, here. Take these.” She blocked my path, shovin’ a stack of plates into my hands. “Set the table,” she commanded.
“What’s goin’ on? Am I missin’ somethin’?” It was pretty unusual to come home on a week night to find such a fuss over dinner. Since Tobie had moved out, she and I had resorted to eatin’ dinner in front of the TV watchin’ Jeopardy. Fancy dinners were saved for our weekly date on Saturday nights.
Susan spun around and wiped her hands with the dish towel. A huge grin on her face. “Tobie called this morning. He invited Amber over for dinner to celebrate his first day and your big deal. He asked me to make my fried chicken!”
If I could bottle Susan’s excitement and sell it I’d make a fortune. She’d been hopin’ Tobie would settle down more than anyone. I couldn’t have asked for a better woman. After all the hell I’d gone through with Tobie’s mother and the pain he’d suffered at her selfishness, Susan had stepped in and been the woman we’d both needed so desperately.
“Come on now, clear off the table and set it. Please!”
“Alright, alright… damn woman, settle down.” There was no arguin’ with Susan when she had her mind set on somethin’. She was like a firecracker waitin’ to explode. It was best that I just step aside and do what I was told.
“I can’t settle down, Jack. Tobie is bringing home a girl! And not just any girl… Amber! She’s perfect for him!”
Susan hadn’t ever been able to have kids of her own and had always longed to be a mother. When we got married she had been more than receptive to raisin’ Tobie as one of her own. It had been a rocky transition, seein’ as Tobie had been in the throws of teenage drama, but Susan was persistent. She let me lead but stayed firm by my side. She had been able to build a relationship with him that his birth mother hadn’t even given any effort towards. Over the years she’d gotten excited about the possibility of Tobie settlin’ down and havin’ a daughter-in-law to fawn over. And grandbabies. Granted, she hadn’t exactly said anything about grandbabies, but I knew she had thought about them. Maybe it was actually me who was thinking about them.
Susan kept chatterin’ on at a million miles an hour while I set the table. She ordered me to go upstairs, shower and change. Apparently Tobie was due home any minute and Amber was expected at six.
“Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you!” Susan rushed to Amber as soon as she stepped through the door. “We haven’t seen you in forever. How have you been? How’s Hannah? How’s your job? Where are you working again?
“For heaven’s sake, Susan, don’t smother the poor girl.” I interrupted, pullin’ her off of Amber.
“Hello, Amber.” I pulled her in for a hug, “How are ya, darlin’?”
“I’m good, Mr. Miller,” she replied with a warm smile. “I hope I’m not intruding in on a family dinner.” This girl. Such a sweetheart.
“Interruptin’? Susan,” I turned my attention to my wife, “is Amber interruptin’ our dinner?”
“Are you kidding?!” Susan threw her hands up in exacerbation, “I’ve been getting ready for you to come over all day!” Susan bubbled, grabbing Tobie by the hand and pullin’ him into the kitchen.
“We’re really happy to have ya over, hon.” I smiled at her and began to lead her into the kitchen. “And Amber?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Call me Jack.”
Susan was in heaven from the second Amber graced our front door. She had politely offered to help finish gettin’ things prepared for dinner. You could have knocked Susan over with a feather at the suggestion. I mean, not that I hadn’t ever helped around the house, but the kitchen had always been foreign territory for me. Before Susan, Tobie and I had eaten a lifetime’s share of cold cereal, macaroni and cheese and spaghetti. Susan was a damn chef compared to me. Every now and then Tobie had been brave enough to help out but her skill intimidated the hell out of me.
I was finally allowed access to the refrigerator for my much deserved beer from the days events. I grabbed two, one for myself and one for Tobie. Poppin’ the tops off I handed a cold one over to Tobie. We clinked bottle necks and he followed my lead to retreat into the family room. I couldn’t help but notice that he positioned himself so that he could keep eyes on Amber.
“Susan ain’t gonna bite her, ya know.” I cocked my head in Amber’s direction, ackno
wledgin’ Tobie’s anxiety.
He huffed and shifted slightly in his chair to turn slightly away from the women in the next room but not enough so that he couldn’t still turn his head to see her. I wondered if he knew the depth of his emotions. As his father, I could read his body language better than he could. That was the most interestin’ part of being a parent. Being able to know what they’re thinking about or how they feel about something before they’ve even figured it out themselves. And from what I could tell in the five minutes of seeing the way he was actin’, movin’, speakin’ and lookin’ around for her made all signs point to love.
“So.” I knew my son enough to know that if I tried too hard, he’d shut down. Based on his wordless reaction to my comment, I decided to change the subject. “Whaddya think of Foster?”
Tobie took a big pull off his beer and peeled his eyes off Amber. “Seems like he wants us to think he’s tough as nails.”
“Hm.” I nodded in thought. “Ya think it’s a front?”
“Not necessarily,” Tobie continued, “but I don’t think he’s as hard as he appears. Don’t get me wrong, I think he expects perfection from us - as he should - it’s just that I get the impression that he’s a lot like you.”
I pulled my head back. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I wasn’t sure if i was supposed to take offense to his comment.
Tobie laughed, realizing my tension. “I mean that I bet he’s tough as shit when he needs to be but is also a really approachable and understanding person.”
I smiled. Raisin’ Tobie on my own for several years might’ve made me tougher on him than I otherwise would have needed to be. I knew that he saw me as a no-nonsense father but until he’d become an adult I hadn’t realized that all that toughness had made him feel like he could trust me. When he’d come into my office a few days ago to get my advice about Amber I hadn’t known that he had viewed me as “approachable and understanding”. That single conversation had made every tough day, every fight, every slammed door worth it.
“Well, if that’s the case then I definitely made the right choice in puttin’ you as co-manager with Bill.”
“Why’s that?” he asked, his eyes drifting back toward the kitchen. Following Amber as she helped Susan.
“Because if you can put up with my shit, then you’ll do a damn good job dealin’ with Foster’s.” A big booming laugh escaped my chest as Tobie’s smile met mine.
“Dinner’s ready!” Susan called from the kitchen.
I slapped my hand on my thigh and took another big swig from my beer. “Come on, son. Let’s go dine with our lovely ladies.”
Chapter Twenty Four
Jack
I couldn’t be more proud of Tobie. He’d really grown into being a wonderful man. He was intelligent. He was funny. He was polite. And he was without a doubt, head over heels in love with Amber.
Every small gesture confirmed it. I watched as he made sure she got her food before he did. He never let her wine glass reach the bottom before he asked if she wanted more. He made a point to include her in the conversations. He barely took his eyes off of her the entire meal.
I may be a big, burly good ‘ole boy, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel like I was turnin’ into a sappy sissy watchin’ the two of them interact. The same mushy romantic feelings I had when I was datin’ Susan were coming back. Their feelings for eachother were oozin’ into everyone around them. Not it the obnoxious ‘get a room’ type of way but in the ‘I want to be a better husband because of the love you show each other’ kinda way. Every gesture that Tobie made, she reciprocated. She appeared to feel exactly the same way about him and it was the sweetest damn thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. A couple hours later Tobie announced that he needed to walk Amber out since it was getting late. Amber graciously thanked us for dinner and offered to help Susan clean up before she left. Of course, Susan refused the help and we both stood to say our goodbyes.
“Do ya think I’ll need to flash the lights again?” I joked as I handed Susan her glass of wine. I put my hands on her hips and gently guided her away from the sink. “I’ll take care of the dishes, hon.”
“Oh, Jack. Don’t you dare embarrass them again! That poor girl was probably traumatized by you barging in on them,” she scolded as she took a sip of wine. She perched herself on a barstool at the kitchen island and watched me as I cleaned up the plates and began washin’ the dishes.
“Our neighbors were probably traumatized from seein’ what they were doing, Suz!” I laughed, “He had her pinned up against the truck and..”
“Stop!” she put her hand up to shut me up. “I do not want to have that image in my mind!”
I laughed, settin’ the pan down in the sink. I wiped my soapy hands on my jeans and leaned over to her. “Maybe I should do the same to you?” I winked. “Pin you up against the wall and have my way with you?” I leaned in and purred into her neck in an obviously exaggerated way.
“Pft, oh please,” she laughed and swatted at my shoulder, “you do that and you’re likely to give yourself a heart attack.”
I pulled away and smiled at her, returnin’ to the dishes. “Yeah, but damn. At least I’d get to die deep inside the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Tobias
This is it. This is my family.
I couldn’t imagine life being any more complete than it was right now. Sitting at the dinner table with Amber.
Amber. The love of my life.
I had buried the truth deep inside for some time now, but seeing Amber help Susan finish dinner rocketed it forward front and center of my brain. My thoughts flashed to future moments, holidays, family dinners, little versions of her running around with her brilliantly blue eyes and her beautiful smile. I hadn’t ever wanted kids. Kids are annoying. They’re expensive. They steal your freedom and don’t let you sleep. But I’ll be damned if I don’t want a whole fucking baseball team of kids with Amber.
For the first time in my entire life I knew exactly who I wanted to be. I wanted to belong to Amber. I wanted to wake up next to her every morning and hold her as we fall asleep every night. I wanted family dinners. I wanted soccer practices and ballet recitals. I wanted to share my hopes and dreams with her. I wanted to create a life with her.
Something in me had changed. I had always known that she was something special but I had never thought about the possibility that she could complete me. Before it had always been a primal craving. A fantasy. A hope.
It was no longer a fantasy. It was no longer a hope. It had become something so much more than that. It was something that was on on the brink of becoming a reality. And it scared the living shit out of me. The reality that I was seeing my future unfold and I loved what it looked like combined with the impending doom of having to explain all of this to Hannah was making my blood run cold and produce a sharp ringing in my ears.
My body felt numb as all of this settled into my soul like a heap of lead. Dad was talking but I couldn’t hear him. I could only stare at Amber. The magnitude of the situation was becoming clear. Amber was so far out of my league it wasn’t even funny. She’s so much better than me. She’s smarter. She’s funnier, more caring, and more attractive than me on every level. How in the world could she even consider settling for someone like me? I’m too young. Too inexperienced. I make shit money and live with my parents. She could do so much better. She deserves so much better.
I was such an asshole for starting this mess.
Amber
“Are you ok?”
Tobie walked me out to my car but something was different about him. He was too quiet. Too serious. Too tense. I worried that I had said something wrong. I had thought dinner had gone really well, but…. did I miss something?
Tobie shook his head, “Yeah…uh, sorry. I was just…. I don’t know.” He held both of my hands in his own, staring at the space between us. His thumbs grazing the backs of my hands absentmindedly. “Sorry. I was just thinking of something, I guess.”
<
br /> I released my hands from his allowing them to frame around his gorgeous face. The stubble on his cheeks was rough against my palms. Looking deep into his eyes I could see something in them I couldn’t quite place. Something mixed between pain and confusion. He was looking directly at me and right through me at the same time. I wanted to reach inside him and pull out whatever was making him sad. Throw it on the ground and stomp on it. Whatever he was bothering him was pouring out of him and into me. It was an awful feeling. A nauseating feeling that sits in the pit of your stomach and radiates into your arms and legs. He dropped his head and stared at our feet.
“Did something happen with you and your dad? Something at work?” I paused. Silence. “Is it… is it me? Did... I do something wrong?” He shook his head but still said nothing.
His head lifted and his eyes focused on mine. His eyebrows pulled tight together. There was so much pain in his expression that it made me want to cry.
“Tobie.” I said softly, dipping my head so that he had to look at me. “You can talk to me. I’m here.” I paused. There were more words that I wanted to say but their letters all tumbled apart before they could come out.
His eyes fell shut. He sighed and his shoulders sagged in defeat. His hands rested on my hips. He pulled me close against him and wrapped his large frame around me so completely. I fit so perfectly against him. My head rested on that sweet spot right above his heart. My shoulders nestled under his. My arms draped perfectly around his waist. I could drown myself in the soft thump of his heart beat. He was the last puzzle piece that I thought I’d never find.
“I’m sorry, love.” He spoke softly against the top of my head. Placed a soft kiss there. “I just… I don’t know… It’s complicated, I guess.”
I raised one hand up to rest against his chest in front of my face. “I’m not going anywhere, Tobie. You can talk to me about anything. And for what it’s worth, I had a wonderful time tonight.” My fingers twirled against the fabric of his t-shirt. “I felt like I was…. home.”
Delicate (Sublime Series Book 1) Page 14