by Cari Z
Ward rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Mom,” he snarked, but he dunked his cookie in his lukewarm tea and took a bite. “Oh, wow.” He looked at the remnants in his hand. “That’s really good.”
Damn straight it was good―it was my mother’s recipe. “Have another. You’ve barely eaten at all today. You’re not going to be able to keep up with even one kid, much less seven of them, if you don’t eat.” I steadfastly ignored my sister’s curious gaze as Ward took another cookie. It was strangely satisfying to watch him eat, and I felt my own hunger stir for the first time that day.
“I’ll need time to see Ava,” Ward said after gulping at his tea. Fuck, he almost looked like he could be a kid, and here he was chasing his own down.
Sam smiled. “We take plenty of breaks, and the schoolhouse is very close to the clinic.”
“And I’ll… shit, I’ll need a place to… to stay, I guess? And I have some business to wrap up back home—I mean, back in California, not home any longer. And a computer? Can I get one of those?”
“You’ll be staying here with us,” Sam said easily. “Of course. We have the space, and since Henry is the alpha, it’s the hospitable thing to do. As for computers, there are a few in the schoolhouse. They’re all monitored, so you can’t do anything you don’t want to be tracked, just in case you’re thinking of reaching out to your contact.” Trust Sam to warn him about that.
Ward’s jaw dropped. “The government monitors your computers?”
Sam nodded. “All of our external communications are monitored.” And boy, was she ever pissed about it. That never changed.
“Another reason we have to be careful,” I said. “I don’t know how long your presence here is going to go unnoticed, but if the news of it doesn’t come from me, my superiors won’t be happy.” They weren’t going to be happy either way, but I didn’t want it coming from Gerald, for fuck’s sake. “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.” And that still felt too soon, like I was shouldering a burden I’d barely had a chance to put down.
“Thank you.”
“Sure.”
“No, really.” He reached out, and before I could pull away, Ward’s hand was on top of mine. “I get that I’m a major inconvenience for you. I’m really starting to see that, and the fact that you haven’t thrown me out and that you’re letting me see Ava, even if she’s still a puppy, it’s….” He drew in a deep, shuddery breath I could feel all the way down through his fingertips. “It’s everything I want. I’m grateful. Okay? I’m incredibly grateful to both of you.”
“It’s fine.” I didn’t feel fine. I felt like my hand was going to burst into flames. I eased it out from underneath his and pushed my chair back. “It’s getting late. Do you want to see Ava again before she beds down?”
“Yes!” He jumped up and was clomping back to the front door in his ridiculous boots before I could even stand. I looked over at Sam.
“Staying with us, really?” I murmured, soft enough that Ward wouldn’t hear but definitely loud enough for her to get that I wasn’t happy.
“It makes sense. He’ll be teaching with me, after all. It’ll facilitate making lesson plans!” she defended herself. “Besides, you can’t honestly tell me you’d be comfortable with him staying with someone else. Or worse yet, by himself.”
The thought was cringe-worthy. “I guess not. I just—” I rolled my shoulders, trying to relieve some of the tension in them. “I guess I’m still mentally playing catch-up. Not thinking everything through yet. Is Liam taking care of Ward’s car?”
“Henry.” Sam looked at me intently, not playing along with my blatant subject change. “It’s going to work out. I promise, okay? I would be fighting this a lot harder if I didn’t think we could make it work out.”
“You shouldn’t have to fight at all. That’s what I’m here for.” It seemed like fighting was all I was good for these days.
“We’re a team,” she insisted. “You and me and Liam. I know you don’t really believe me yet, but you will.”
She was right. I didn’t believe her. I could tell she meant it, though, and I loved her for it. “Thanks, Sam.”
“Henry!” Ward called from the door. “I’m going to leave without you if you don’t hurry up!”
“I’m coming!” I drank the last of my tea and stood up. “Duty calls, I guess,” I said to my sister.
She smiled slightly. “Have fun.”
I didn’t know about fun. But as I tromped across the snow back to the clinic, listening to Ward make small talk about his daughter and, beneath that, the steady beat of his heart, I could honestly say that this was maybe the best I’d felt all day.
I’d take it.
Chapter Nine
Ward
I HAD to give Sam credit: she was a model of efficiency when it came to getting me settled. In retrospect, I’d been so ill-prepared when I came out here that I was still a little surprised I’d found the pack, much less survived to be accepted into it. I had one set of clothes, no toiletries, no personal belongings other than my phone and my car, both of which were probably at the bottom of a cliff now. Two days ago I’d had nothing, but I couldn’t say that anymore.
Sam had begged, bargained, or stolen three full sets of clothes for me that were close enough to my size that I hardly noticed the extra length in the sleeves or the way I had to poke a new hole in the old leather belt that came with it all.
“Oh, I just asked around,” she’d said when I expressed my surprise at dinner. “Pack shares with pack. We’re not exactly close to another town up here, so we all depend on each other to share what we need. I’ll requisition some more to be included in the next shipment.”
Well, now I felt guilty. Of course she noticed. “It’s really fine,” she assured me. “It’s good, even. These were all worn by werewolves, so now you smell more like pack than ever. It’ll facilitate your integration, especially with the kids.” She’d also found me a fresh toothbrush, a comb, and a half-filled bottle of combination shampoo and conditioner.
“I really appreciate it.”
She bumped my hip with hers. “I know.”
Without Sam’s chattiness, dinner might have been a solemn affair. Liam was quiet, which seemed to be his default, but he didn’t appear uncomfortable, mostly engaged in giving his wife the mooniest eyes I’d ever seen. Honestly, he could have worn a blinking sign saying I LOVE YOU with an arrow pointing to her and been less obvious. It was cute. I’d never seen a couple quite this enamored with each other before.
Henry was another matter. He was silent, but it was a grim sort of silence, enforced by the tension in his jaw that seemed to keep his mouth wired shut. He ate, methodically cutting his steak to pieces and consuming it without obvious pleasure or distaste. He spoke when Sam asked a question, but he didn’t volunteer anything. Honestly, he reminded me of a few of my older students at the community college who had come back from the war but not really left it behind. The situation was much like walking on eggshells just being in the same room with him, and I wished for probably the eleventy-billionth time that I could talk to Davis about it. Davis knew more about werewolves than anyone I’d ever met, before coming here. He’d worked with them, worked for them—he would know the right angle to take with a stony alpha.
But Davis wasn’t an option now. Continue as you’ve begun. I wasn’t going to treat Henry with kid gloves, even if it looked like he could maybe use them. He’d gone out on a limb for me to stay here—I realized that. The least I could do was not shy away from the subject like a shrinking violet.
“Do I need to be there when you talk to your commanding officer?”
Henry looked at me like I’d grown another head. “No.”
“Are you sure?” I pressed. “Because I could help explain things. I’d be happy to—”
“Trust me, there’s nothing you can say that’s going to make him happy.” Henry set his silverware down and pushed his plate away. “If we’re sticking to the fiction that I arranged for you to be here before
I came back, then I technically broke the rules while on assignment. I don’t think you’ll be able to mitigate the fallout from that.”
“Jesus Christ, nail yourself a little harder to that cross,” I grumped. All three of my tablemates were staring at me now, and only Sam looked even vaguely amused. “I mean… you were off assignment once you got back to Colorado, right? You can say you contacted me then. If he asks, I was here on vacation.”
“You weren’t.”
“Yeah, but nobody knows that. My faculty basically thinks I’m in the middle of a nervous breakdown. They wouldn’t be able to gainsay it if your boss decided to check your story. You called me when you got back, I was conveniently in the state, we met up, bam. Done.”
Sam nodded. “I like it.”
“You would,” Henry said, but he seemed a little easier. “If you’re sure, then.”
“Oh yeah, use me however you want.”
Sam snorted out a laugh, Liam’s eyes almost bugged out of his head, and Henry actually cracked a smile.
“You’re gonna regret that,” Henry promised me.
“We’ll see,” I replied.
The guest room was officially mine, at least for now, so I put my new clothes in the drawers, set my toothbrush in the bathroom next to what I assumed was Henry’s, and went to bed with a lighter heart than before. I slept through the night, and the next morning it was time for school.
I dressed in the most formal things available to me: a cream-colored sweater and a pair of black skinny jeans that had probably come from Roman. I had better boots now, which was a mercy, and two layers of socks, which was a necessity. I fixed my hair as best I could with no gel, brushed my teeth, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Disconcertingly, once again I was alone with Henry, who was wearing more flannel than a lumberjack. It looked good on him.
“Am I late? Where’s Sam?”
“You’re fine. She went ahead to the schoolhouse.” He shrugged his shoulders. “She likes the extra time to get prepared.”
“How long do I have for breakfast?”
“Long enough. How do you take your eggs?”
I paused midway to the coffeepot. “Oh, no, you don’t have to cook for me.”
“I’m going to anyway.” He set down his own mug and turned to the stove, where a few eggs were already sitting in a spoon rest. “Scrambled, I bet.”
“Over easy,” I shot back, because screw him; he wasn’t psychic. Although I did love scrambled eggs. “With toast.”
“Ah, toast is your responsibility.”
I stared at him. He stared back at me, his eyes almost twinkling. Was he fucking with me? I couldn’t quite tell.
“The butter and jam are in the fridge,” he added.
“Thanks.” I cut off two pieces for myself and another couple for Henry while I was at it. I toasted them all while he fried the eggs, then slathered the toast with butter and loaded it down with what looked like homemade peach preserves. When I presented Henry with his slices, he raised one eyebrow.
“These look so sweet they could double as dessert.”
“Lucky you, getting dessert for breakfast,” I said, digging into my eggs. They were perfect. “I want to see Ava before class.”
“Then you better eat fast.”
The urge to give this guy the finger was almost perpetual. I wanted to keep all my fingers, though, so I settled on the kind of glare that used to send my students running and shoveled my breakfast down. It didn’t take long to finish, but he was still done before me. It was the first time I’d seen him eat with any sort of appreciation for his food. Eggs and toast did it for him, huh? To each their own.
It was just as cold outside today as it had been yesterday, but I was a little better prepared for it now. My breath was a crystal fog in front of my eyes as we headed for the clinic, and I slipped about halfway down the path.
Henry’s hand grabbed my elbow, keeping me upright before I could tip more than five degrees. “Be careful.”
“I am.”
“Be more careful, then. The last thing you want to do is fall on this ice.”
“I’m not eighty, I won’t break a hip,” I said, but given all the times I’d fractured bones in my life, well… better not to tempt fate.
Ava was awake and messily working on her own breakfast when we got into the clinic. She abandoned her plate as soon as she saw me, and I knelt down by the glass and pressed my palm to the surface, right where she was rubbing her face.
“Hey, sweetheart.” God, I just wanted to reach in there and hold her. I knew it was dangerous, and if anyone was likely to die of the werewolf mutation, it was me. That didn’t stop me from wanting her. She was my baby, and I just wanted her, to comfort her and play with her and make her feel safe and loved. That was my job as her parent, and I had a major backlog to make up for.
“That’s her second breakfast,” Tennyson said from somewhere behind me. “She’s eating like a champ.”
“Good.”
“It’s very encouraging. There haven’t been any changes in her shift yet, but she’ll get there.”
“I know she will.” My kid could do anything. I waited for her burst of exuberance to fade a little, and then she fetched a ball from the far side of her pen and brought it back to the wall. “Aw, Ava. I can’t play with you yet.”
She whined and nudged the ball closer.
“Not until you’re a little girl again, sweetie. Change back for me and we can play all day long, okay?”
Her whine was louder now. Puppy dog eyes had never been such an apt description.
“Sorry, baby. Soon, I promise.” I saw Henry tap the top of his wrist over by the door, not that he was even wearing a watch, the dork. “I’ve got to go for now, but I’ll be back at lunchtime, okay? We can eat together and I’ll read you a story.”
Ava threw her furry little head back and howled.
I sighed. “And cue tantrum time.” At least it was familiar. I gave my daughter a smile and a little wave, and then got up and headed for Henry even though my heart felt like it wanted to rip itself in two. “I find it’s better to let her wear herself out when she’s throwing a fit,” I said quietly.
“I’ll come back a little later,” Henry promised. “See if it helps her to have me around for a while.”
I expected to feel a little jealous at that. I’d been Ava’s only parent for a long time, all she needed to rely on. Instead, I just felt relief. “Thank you.”
“Sure. This way.” We left the clinic through a different door and walked in easy silence for another few hundred feet, to a log-and-stone building with a few high windows and a smoking chimney. “That’s the schoolhouse,” Henry said about twenty feet out. “Have fun, Professor.”
“You’re not going to go in with me?”
Henry gave me a look that said Are you five? “It’s better if I don’t distract the kids. I’ll be back later.” He clapped me gently on the back, then turned and left me standing there in the snow.
“Fine,” I muttered. “Be that way.” Seven kids, or really only six without Ava. No problem. I could handle that.
The inside of the schoolhouse was wonderfully warm, probably a nod to Sam’s and my human fragility. The floor was wood at the entryway but carpeted farther in, and a sea of comfy chairs, couches, and sturdy handmade desks covered the floor between the door and the back of the classroom. Computers lined one wall, boxes of toys and equipment were stacked against the other, and in the center of it all was Sam, surrounded by small and not-so-small bodies.
“Ward! Come on over!”
“He has to hang up his jacket first,” one of the girls chided Sam.
“And take off his boots,” a boy added.
“And then he has to sniff us, so we can sniff him back!”
“Ah-ah,” Sam said with a little headshake. “Ward’s a human like me, remember? Humans don’t get as much out of sniffing newcomers as werewolves do.”
The child who’d suggested it looked crushed. “But I
want to sniff him!”
“Then you can ask him politely.”
I left my jacket and boots by the door, but I kept the scarf on as I walked over to the group. I tossed a wave to Roman, which the kid returned, looking a little smug.
“No fair! Roman already got to sniff him!”
“Josie, settle down, or you don’t get any furry time.” Sam turned to me. “Furry time is when the kids get to practice their shift. It’s a nice break from the usual lessons.”
“It’s my favorite thing,” Josie said earnestly.
“No inappropriate sniffing and you can still take some furry time later.” Sam sat back in a comfy chair of her own and gestured to me. “I already told the kids to expect you, but I didn’t tell them much about you, so why don’t you tell us a little about yourself, Mr. Johannsen?”
“Sure.” It wasn’t exactly like being in front of forty underclassmen, but I was used to public speaking at this point. I smiled. “I’m Ward Johannsen, I’m Ava’s dad. I was a teacher at a community college in California, but now that I’m here, I’ll be one of your teachers. It’s nice to meet you guys.”
A few of the kids’ hands went up. I pointed at a boy with warm brown skin and black hair. “Go ahead…. Louis, right?”
He looked impressed. It was nice that someone was. “Are you gonna become a werewolf?”
“Nope. I don’t think I’d do very well as a werewolf.”
“It’s usually too hard for adults to get through the first shift,” Sam said gently. “Who’s next?”
More hands swung up. “Um, Olivia? Go ahead.”
“Will the guardian’s kids come back to school now that we’ve got another human to teach?” she demanded. “He said he wanted them to have more human influences, so does this count?”
I had no clue what she was talking about. Fortunately, Sam did. “I’m afraid he still hasn’t changed his mind, although I did ask yesterday when he came to visit.”