by Cari Z
“I’m not going to die out there, and I’m not going to hand over leadership of my pack. I’ll be back, and here, again and again. You’re never getting rid of us, John. Whether Genna does or doesn’t go is going to be up to her in the end, but no matter what you wish would happen, you’re stuck with me. So wrap your mind around that.” I sat back and let the wolf settle down again. “I want a hunt tomorrow, before I leave.”
John’s mouth worked soundlessly for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough. “Not much notice.”
“You have an elk permit. We’re using it.”
“It’s not in season.”
“It doesn’t matter. No one will see us, and if there’s trouble, then you’ll talk us out of it. Do your job, guardian.” I pushed back from the table and headed for the door. Before I could leave, though, John spoke up again.
“That boy comes back here without my permission, I’ll shoot him. No questions asked, no stopping to reason with him. You understand? Do your job, Alpha, and keep your wolves under control.”
I left without another word.
The hell of it was, though, John wasn’t wrong. Roman was breaking federal law by sneaking out of the reserve, and John would be within his rights to handle things his way if he caught Roman in his house, just like anyone in Colorado could shoot a home invader. Roman would heal from being shot far faster than a human, but it wasn’t a painless process, and the complications that could arise were sometimes horrific, especially if he lost control and shifted. Or John might get lucky—or vindictive—and kill him with the first shot, right between the eyes.
I had to speak to Roman.
I got my chance after school let out, before he was due to meet with Ward and Ava at the clinic. I saw the boy leave the classroom and start heading home, and called out, “Roman.”
Roman almost jumped out of his skin. “Alpha!” He was surprised but didn’t smell nervous. And why should he? He was being so clever. I felt unreasonably angry at the kid and fought the emotion back. It wouldn’t do to lose my temper.
“We need to talk,” I said. There, there was the tendril of nervousness. The last of the kids filed out of the school, and I marched inside, Roman trailing behind me uncertainly. Sam was there, straightening the carpet in front of the couch, and Ward was boxing up what looked like the remains of an experiment.
“Henry!” Sam called out. “How did things go with John?” The smell of nervousness became an absolute cloud in the air. I shook my head.
“I need this space for a minute. We won’t be long.”
“Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine.” I tried to reassure both Sam and Ward, but I knew I wasn’t very convincing. It didn’t matter. The only person I needed to convince of anything right now was Roman. “Just give us a minute.”
“Sure.” They both left, Ward with more than one backward glance, and I turned to Roman. He squared his shoulders and tried to look defiant. “You already know what this is about, don’t you.” It wasn’t even a question. I wouldn’t tolerate him trying to play dumb with me.
Fortunately for him, he didn’t. “I haven’t done anything to hurt Genna. I would never do that.”
“But you would compromise your pack’s security system, sneak into her house without her father knowing, and lie to your own parents about what you’re doing?”
“I don’t lie to them!”
“Do they know that you’re seeing Genna?”
“No.”
“Do you think they’d approve?” I knew his father wouldn’t. Roman hesitated, and that was enough to let me know that he thought the same. “And you know John doesn’t.”
Roman paled. “He knows? You told him?”
“He told me,” I emphasized. “And to say he’s not happy about it is an understatement.”
“It doesn’t matter what he thinks.” Roman was starting to breathe harder, and he struggled to keep his voice level. “Genna is eighteen, she’s legally an adult. She doesn’t have to listen to him. She can… she can leave if she wants to.”
“You know it’s not that easy. Not for the child of a guardian.”
“It is easy for her!” Roman insisted. “Her mother is already gone. She could go and stay with her until college starts! She—she doesn’t have to go here, she could go to a school on the coast, and I could meet her there next year! I—”
“She’ll be watched the entire time she’s there,” I said, unflinching in the face of Roman’s growing desperation. He needed to accept what was happening here. “Her mother is being watched, even if she doesn’t know it, which—Clara is a smart person, I’m sure she knows. Genna is as much a liability to the government as she is an asset, Roman. She’ll be watched and monitored to ensure the safety of our pack for the rest of her life, or as long as the pack lasts, whichever comes first.
“I’m not saying I’m against the two of you being together.” I wanted that much to be clear. “I don’t think you should be separated from the person you love, even if she’s different from you.”
“I do love her,” Roman said miserably. “I love her so much, and I know my parents will think it’s stupid because they were arranged and they want me to marry another werewolf, but I can’t think about anyone but Genna. I just want to be with her all the time. Like you and Ward.” He said it easily, like the comparison was the first thing that popped into his head. It surprised me, but I tried not to let on. I… I liked Ward. I appreciated him. I wanted to be with him, but… did I love him?
I needed to focus. “You can’t sneak out again to meet her. Not with her father ready to shoot first and ask questions later.”
“Genna wouldn’t let him shoot me!”
“She might not even know he’s considering it, Roman. That’s not the point. The point is, you’re going to have to play the long game right now. If you and Genna want to be together, then I won’t stop you, but I can’t let you endanger yourself or the pack. No more disabling cameras and sneaking out. No more putting the rest of your pack at risk. Once you’re both away at college, you’ll have more freedom.”
Roman looked devastated. “That’s—I’ve still got another year of high school! That’s more than a year we have to be apart! And why? Just because her dad and my dad refuse to get along? Just because you’re not willing to help us?”
“I am helping you, Roman.”
“By telling me to do nothing, which is all you ever do for us too!” He looked away as soon as he said it, and I could smell his sudden shame, but the truth was… he wasn’t entirely wrong. I’d been gone so much lately, time spent away from my pack that left them unclear, uncertain, pulling apart instead of coming together.
“If I could choose to be here more, I would be. I’ll do my best to help you even if I’m not here, and you know Sam and Liam will too, but you have to listen to me on this, Roman. No more sneaking around. Are we clear?”
He bit his lip and nodded, still unable to meet my eyes.
I sighed. “Come here.” He came, and I cupped the back of his neck and pulled him in close, scenting him. He was awash with confusion and anger and sadness, and he whined a little in the back of this throat when I squeezed comfortingly. “Spend some time shifted tonight,” I said. “You’ll feel more clearheaded.” The wolf form took the more complicated emotions away. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the hunt. Noon sharp.” He nodded again, and I finally let him go.
By the time I got to the clinic, it wasn’t just Ward, Ava, and Tennyson waiting for me: Sam and Liam were there too, and everyone smelled curious, even little Ava. She had human hands and one human foot that shifted back and forth between claws and toes even as I watched. I’d never seen a child shift as fast as she did.
“What was that about?” Sam asked as soon as I walked in the door.
“Could we save the gossiping for later?” I asked as I took off my jacket and started in on my boots. I’d already ripped two pairs in the past month. I wasn’t going to do in another pair just becaus
e I didn’t want to talk to them about this.
“Hmm, let me think—no.” She smiled, but when I didn’t smile back, it faded. “Really, what happened?”
“What happened is that Roman and Genna are in love. He’s been sneaking out to meet up in her bedroom—and help her study up on calculus, apparently—and John just found out and threatened to shoot Roman if he trespasses again.”
That announcement was met with a resounding silence, which made me feel a little better about my own initial reaction to it. Then the exclamations started, with everyone having something different to say.
“The cameras, of course, the snow has been so regular I couldn’t see any prints but—”
“—guardian can’t shoot the wolves under his purview, it’s not allowed! He’s supposed to help us, not—”
“—does John think he is, threatening a child like that? That fucker, I’ll—”
Ward just nodded and said, “The tutoring makes so much more sense now.”
“Right. He was learning how to teach, not how to do.”
“He’s a smart kid.”
“Not smart enough to not get caught sneaking into our guardian’s home,” I grumbled as I stripped off my shirt.
“Henry!” Sam snapped. “What are we going to do about John? He can’t just make threats like this against a member of the pack.”
“He lives outside of our territory for a reason,” I reminded her as I got started on my pants. “If we break the law on his private property, he’s within his rights to respond under the law, which in Colorado means he can shoot someone who breaks into his house. Genna might argue differently, but the truth of the matter is that Roman’s sneaking into the house with her help, and without any semblance of her father’s approval.”
“Jesus Christ.” Sam crossed her arms. “Do Gerald and Peggy know?”
“No. And I told Roman I would keep it that way as long as he cut it out.”
Liam raised a questioning eyebrow. “And you think he will do this? Stop seeing the girl, just because you asked it of him?”
I shrugged. “I think it’s the safest way for him to get what he wants.”
“That isn’t what I asked. Do you think he can abide by such restrictions on his freedom, and on his heart?”
I felt exhausted all of a sudden. Liam had a way of asking questions that made me feel like he was just waiting for a chance to make me second-guess myself, and I was sick of it.
“Well, two days from now, you’d better hope so,” I said flatly. “Because I won’t be around to take the heat for it if he doesn’t.”
“Henry, come on—”
But I was done discussing this, going around and around and getting nowhere. I changed into my wolf and padded into the room with Ava thirty seconds later.
“This isn’t over!” Sam warned me. “You can’t get out of this talk by shifting, Henry. We will have it out before you leave.”
I huffed and looked away from her.
“God, don’t act like such a baby. You set a bad example for Ava.”
I turned my back on Sam, and eventually she and Liam left. Tennyson didn’t say anything, just got back to tracking Ava’s changes, and Ward left the room so we could start our system of shift and reward. It was what I’d wanted, to get on with things without more questions and badgering. So why did it make me feel uneasy?
It didn’t matter. I had other things to focus on for now. I’d try to wrap Roman’s situation up better after the hunt tomorrow, before I left. I really didn’t want to leave it for Sam to have to deal with if something went wrong, but there was only so far I could push, and I’d hit that line.
Or so I thought.
THE NEXT day dawned clear and bitterly cold, perfect for a hunt in wolf form. Everything was set for noon. Sam had put away her annoyance with me—there was plenty of it that I hadn’t answered for yet, but knew I would eventually—and helped me handle all the last-minute preparations. We had a route planned, somewhere John would be able to accompany us or at least swing around to on his ATV, and it was right around where Liam had sighted a herd of elk when he was last scouting. I’d talked to my pack, and they were looking forward to it. A rabbit hunt inside the compound would occupy the kids too young to go on the hint—the Robinsons raised them for food, and they were perfect for the little ones to practice on. It should have been a perfect hunt.
Famous last words.
Someone banged on our front door at eight in the morning with enough force that it shook on its hinges. That door was solid oak, so someone was going at it hard. Ward and Sam looked startled, while I took a careful sniff and then groaned.
“Gerald’s here.”
“And he’s very angry,” Liam added.
“Why?”
I pushed to my feet. “Let’s find out.” I got to the door before it could rattle a third time and jerked it open so fast Gerald almost fell into the house. He glared at me, his eyes wolf-yellow. He’d never managed that partial shift before. His heart beat at a furious pace, and twenty feet out in the snow behind him I could see the other adults of the pack standing, bundled into their winter gear, some of them scared, others just apprehensive. Peggy looked fiercer than I’d ever seen her before.
“Alpha! I call you out!” Gerald shouted at me. His back was hunching, coiled, ready to fall into shift. It wouldn’t be fast, but once his head and throat were transformed I wouldn’t be able to talk it out with him, and right then I really wanted to know what he was yelling for.
I stayed as calm as I could and crossed my hands over my chest. “Good morning to you too, Gerald.”
“I call you out!” he snarled, ignoring my pleasantries. “You’ll answer to me, Henry Dormer, and you’ll answer now for what you did to my son!”
What the hell was he talking about? “I didn’t do anything to Roman.”
“Lies! He came home last night stinking of you and of fear, but he wouldn’t tell me or his mother anything about why. I know you spoke with him alone last night, and today he’s gone. Run away! You drove him away!” He was actually spitting with every word, he was so angry. “You wanted to destroy your competition before he was strong enough to take the pack from you, and so you threatened him and forced him to leave!”
“You’re wrong.”
“You’re the one in the wrong.” His hands flexed like they wanted to reach out and grab me around the throat. I heard Sam murmur something to Liam and Ward in the background, heard her take Ward by the hand and pull him away—good. As much as I wanted him, I didn’t want him here for this, or where this could be going. “Come out of your den and fight like a—” He swung at me then, and I grabbed his fist as soon as it was close enough and thrust it away hard enough to half spin Gerald in place.
“We’re not doing this on my porch.” If I had things my way, we wouldn’t be doing it at all, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to talk Gerald down at this point. If Roman had run away—if he really was gone—then I needed to tell his parents the truth. “You want to take me down? At least try to do it like an alpha, not some weak lowlife who needs to endanger others to get me on my guard.”
Gerald’s face contorted angrily, but he backed away, far enough for me to get out of the house and pull the door shut behind me. I wasn’t fully dressed yet, not even wearing boots, which was fortunate. I stepped down onto the ground in front of my house, and the cold sank into my bare feet. I let the pain center me, used it to keep my head. The last thing I needed to do right then was give in to the impulse to rip Gerald’s idiot throat out.
“Now we—”
“I didn’t tell your son to leave.” The pack looked back and forth between us, and I was very conscious of needing to make a good argument for their sakes, even if Gerald was beyond listening now. “He’s been sneaking out of the compound for months.”
“Roman would never willingly leave our territory!”
“And yet he has been. We’ve been losing cameras along the fence, in a different place every time, for
almost half a year. He’s been disabling them so he could get out without being seen.”
“Why would he leave?” This was from Peggy, and Gerald shot her a venomous look, but I was happy to respond.
“He’s been meeting someone.”
“Who?”
Here we go. “Genna Parnell.”
Peggy looked stunned. “The guardian’s daughter?”
“Yes.”
Gerald shook his head. “More lies. My son would never even consider being with someone that would weaken the bloodline.”
“For fuck’s sake, Gerald.” I let some of my disgust leak into my voice. “You talk about being a werewolf like we aren’t the result of a goddamn accident. The bloodline that you’re so proud of is what keeps us confined here, keeps your son from being with the girl he loves, keeps us watched and monitored and used over and over again. I don’t want your son to be the alpha, that’s true, and do you know why?” Gerald opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.
“Because alphas are made into murderers. We’re the army’s black ops beasts of burden. We’re the ones they send in first and take out last, if they can even be bothered to pick us up again. My last mission?” I let some of my own rage show now. “I was sent to retrieve a scientist who our people were interested in. He wouldn’t leave without his child, so we brought her along. We were ambushed, and she was killed. I tried to keep him moving, but he committed suicide a few days later. I got back and was told I’d failed, and now I’m being sent out into the field again the day after tomorrow as a punishment, not a fucking recognition of my status.”
I let my golden glare encompass all of my wolves. Gerald looked increasingly frantic, but everyone else was becoming less anticipatory and more somber. “If I die out there, who here will be the next alpha? Do you really want it to be Roman?” I stared at Peggy. “Do you want your son tortured by his own people over and over again until he learns how not to break? Do you want him sent places he’s got no business being, with little to no support, trying to do the almost impossible? Do you want him to have to evade the bounty hunters who would tranq us and sell us to the nearest government that wants to recreate our military’s mistake? Is that what you want for your son? Because if it is, then by all means, I’ll trade places with him and he can be the fucking alpha.” I turned my contempt on Gerald. “Or maybe you’d like to experience it all first.”