by Vicki Beeby
Leo had been adjusting his tie by his reflection in the shop window. At mention of her young man, Jess thought he paused for a moment before resuming his task. She had considered correcting Kathleen and telling her Milan wasn’t ‘her’ young man. However, something about Leo’s reaction made her let the comment pass. ‘Oh, I haven’t seen him yet – he can’t get another free evening until next week. I promise to bring him to see you once I’ve given it to him. I’m sure he’d like to meet you.’
Kathleen put her hand to her throat, clutching the golden cross pendant she wore on a chain. ‘You are so good to me. That would be lovely.’
‘Thank you for doing that,’ Jess said to Leo after they’d left the shop and were strolling towards the centre of Stanmore. ‘You were very good with her.’ Indeed, she had been moved by the way he had spoken to Kathleen about the bravery and sacrifice of the bomber crews he had known. Although he was a good actor, Jess had thought his tribute had been from the heart.
‘It’s the least I could do,’ Leo said, and offered her his arm.
Jess gave him a sideways glance as she placed her hand on his arm, feeling a twinge of disloyalty to Milan as she did so. Yet again she wondered what would have happened if she had told him she was pregnant instead of running away the moment the play they were starring in had come to the end of its run. Perhaps she had misjudged him. Maybe he would have been overjoyed.
She gave herself a mental shake. Likely story. Not three days after arriving in Suffolk, she had seen a photo of Leo in the paper. It had shown him at a theatrical gala, partnered by a well-known actress. Jess knew that tickets had been sold weeks in advance, weeks when they had been together, yet he hadn’t invited her. The tears she had shed after reading the article had been the last she had shed over Leonard Steele.
Looking for an excuse to remove her hand from his arm, she pointed at the sky. ‘There’s a lovely sunset tonight.’
‘Not as lovely as you.’
‘Come off it, Leo. Don’t try that line on me. I only agreed to come out with you tonight so you would give Kathleen your autograph.’
Leo clapped a hand to his chest as though he had been struck. ‘Can’t a fellow even compliment his date?’
‘This is not a date. We go out as friends or not at all.’
‘So your heart’s already spoken for?’
For a horrible moment she feared Leo was about to confess he had loved her all along. When she shot him a sharp glance and saw his eyebrows raised in enquiry and no sign of disappointment, relief washed over her. ‘The state of my heart is none of your business.’
‘What about the young man your shop assistant mentioned? Is it his business?’
Jess drew breath to snap that Milan was none of Leo’s business either but bit back the retort. Leo had a right to feel aggrieved about the way their relationship had ended, yet he had been surprisingly friendly. She should return the favour and not antagonise him.
She put her hand back on his arm. ‘He’s just a fighter pilot I got friendly with when I was stationed at Amberton. He’s based at RAF Benson now.’ She explained about the violin while leaving out any hint of what her feelings for Milan might be. It really was no concern of Leo’s. She only belatedly noticed they had stopped outside the underground station, and Leo was fishing in his pockets for change. ‘Oh, are we going into Town? I assumed we’d be eating in Stanmore.’
‘Now, why would I take you out in a backwater like Stanmore when we’ve got the whole of London on our doorstep? When I take a beautiful woman to dinner, I do it properly.’
Jess shot him a warning glare, one eyebrow arched, and he raised his hands in mock surrender. ‘I know, I know. I should have said when I take a beautiful woman to dinner as friends, I do it properly.’
‘In that case…’ Jess let him escort her into the station. Who was she to deny herself the chance of being properly wined and dined by a film star? Leo had always been fun company, and if he was able to put the past behind him then she could hardly complain. He was probably taking her out because it was good publicity for him to be seen with a WAAF officer. Well, if this was her one chance to experience the high life, Jess was going to make the most of it. There was absolutely no reason for her to feel it was disloyal to Milan.
The platform was busy with people on their way to town for the evening. Although it was a bit of a crush, Jess didn’t mind. It meant Leo couldn’t interrogate her about anything personal such as Milan or the reason why she had left him. As long as they avoided those subjects, she would enjoy herself.
It was certainly fun to be the centre of interest. Other people on the platform were nudging their companions, pointing to Leo. Jess caught several envious glances from the other young women. Leo took it in his stride, smiling and exchanging greetings with anyone who dared to speak to him. When they got on the train, it felt like the whole crowd tried to squeeze into the same carriage. After they had taken their seats, a blushing girl of about sixteen approached Leo. ‘Are you really Leonard Steele?’ she asked. When Leo nodded her face turned an even brighter scarlet. ‘Please can I have your autograph?’ She rummaged in her handbag as she spoke and thrust two crumpled pieces of paper at him. ‘One for me and one for my friend?’
‘Of course.’ Leo took the paper, pulled a fountain pen from his top pocket and scrawled his name on both sheets. He handed them back to the girl, who Jess thought might explode from excitement.
‘Thank you so much,’ the girl said. She took a step towards her seat then hesitated and said in a breathless voice, ‘You were wonderful as Captain Jack McCabe in The Pirate’s Prize.’ Then she bounded back to her friend, squealing, ‘I got them, Norah!’
The girls subsided into whispers, although the furtive glances they shot towards Leo and Jess at intervals throughout the journey left Jess in no doubt as to the subject of their conversation. At one point she distinctly heard the other girl, Norah, say in a piercing whisper, ‘I wonder who he’s with? She’s very pretty.’ Jess had to admit she enjoyed the attention.
They left the train at Charing Cross, and Jess could hardly believe her luck when Leo took her to the Savoy. She clutched his arm, doing her best not to show her excitement at being led into the famous airy restaurant with its pillared walls and high ceiling. A cabaret band played on the stage, and when Leo walked in, they struck up a few bars of the theme music from his latest film. Despite there being several famous faces already present in the restaurant, a stir of interest rippled across the room as they were shown to their table. Jess could sense the eyes of all the women on her.
‘They must be wondering who on earth I am,’ she muttered after the waiter had handed her the menu and left them to choose. She was tickled to notice that the Savoy, just like any other restaurant these days, was forced to comply with the order from the Ministry of Food and limit its maximum charge to five shillings.
‘Nonsense,’ Leo said. ‘The men will all be envying me for being with the best looking woman in the room.’
Considering she was one of the few women in uniform, and none of the women in civvies looked as though wartime austerity had affected their lavish wardrobes, she doubted that. Nevertheless, it was nice to be complimented.
‘How long will you be filming at Bentley Priory?’ she asked.
‘About a month, I think. The director keeps on insisting on new story lines the more he learns about life in the RAF so he might need longer.’
More than just a few days, then. Jess didn’t know whether to be apprehensive about the potential disruption to her routine, or pleased about the extra excitement and glamour.
‘Talking of changes in storyline,’ Leo went on, ‘the director showed me the footage he filmed of the WAAFs this morning.’
‘Then you’ll have seen filing cabinets don’t feature in my work.’ She couldn’t explain why, but Leo’s assumption that her work was purely clerical really rankled.
Leo shrugged. ‘So you put counters on a map. I stand corrected.’
&nb
sp; ‘There’s more to it than that.’ Until now she had never regretted the secrecy surrounding the work of a WAAF whose job was designated ‘clerk, special duties’. She had to forcefully remind herself of the dire consequences of being in breach of the Official Secrets Act to give her the strength to bite back the explanation of what she actually did. Maybe it was because Leo had known her when she’d been an actress, one poised on the brink of making a name for herself, but to have him think her work was mundane hurt. Or possibly it was that he made propaganda films about the RAF that showed the bravery and skill of the men while either completely ignoring the role of the WAAF, or showing the women in the background, somehow implying their work was menial. History was being written and the women’s roles in it were being ignored.
‘Of course there is,’ Leo said. It was a good thing the waiter arrived to take their order at that point, or Leo would have been in danger of wearing the flower arrangement. ‘Anyway, that’s beside the point. I have news that will interest you.’
‘Oh yes?’ Jess decided it was pointless trying to educate Leo even if she could have told him what she did. He would never understand.
‘The director picked you out of the group of girls immediately.’
‘He did?’ Jess leaned forward, her irritation fading. ‘What did he say?’
‘He was impressed. Said there was something about you the camera loved.’
When Jess had been an actress, she had dreamed of catching a director’s eye and making the move from stage to screen. Though she had got a thrill from the theatre, stage actors never got the same recognition as film actors. The scene on the underground was proof of the way film actors, and the characters they played, caught the public imagination. ‘It’s nice to be noticed,’ she said.
‘Oh, he noticed you. Look, I can’t promise anything, but he said something about speaking to the writers to include a WAAF in the storyline.’
‘About time the WAAF got a look-in.’
‘I haven’t got to the good part yet.’
Suddenly Jess realised where this was leading. ‘Wait. You don’t mean to tell me—’ She broke off as the sommelier arrived with their wine. She watched Leo’s face with growing impatience as he tasted the wine and gave a nod of approval. The man then poured the wine into each of their glasses, moving with agonising slowness. Jess tapped her fingers on her knees, not daring to let herself believe her luck until Leo had spoken the words. ‘Well?’ she said the moment the sommelier was out of earshot.
‘Nothing is definite, but the director is going to have a word with your superiors. If they agree, you’ll be released from duty for a couple of weeks while we film the part.’
‘Oh my goodness. You’re ’avin’… having me on.’ Jess raised her wine glass to her lips with a hand that trembled, silently berating herself for her momentary slip. Speaking in a BBC accent was almost second nature these days.
‘Not a bit of it. I always said you were destined for stardom. I could never understand why you disappeared from the scene just when you were about to get your big break.’
Jess put down her drink untasted. This was the first time Leo had directly referred to the end of their relationship, and she couldn’t avoid it any longer. She licked her lips, racking her brains for a suitable explanation.
Leo leaned across the table. ‘Come on, Jess. We could have been London’s golden couple. Why did you disappear?’
‘Maybe I didn’t like being in the limelight.’
Leo laughed. ‘Now I know you’re joking. You thrive on it.’ He gestured towards the other diners. ‘You can’t tell me you don’t love all the attention you’re getting.’ He held her gaze, and Jess was unable to look away. ‘Come on. What’s the real reason?’
She took a sip of wine to buy herself a little more time. However, she only had one clear thought: she mustn’t let slip about Hannah. In the early days after Hannah had been born, Jess had wrestled with her conscience, wondering if she should inform Leo he had a daughter. However, the newspapers had regularly published photographs showing he still pursued the same wild lifestyle he had lived when she had known him, and she hadn’t wanted to risk Leo taking Hannah away. While Vera and Jack didn’t have much money, they showered Hannah with love, affection and stability. All things Hannah needed far more than money.
‘I wanted to serve my country,’ she said in the end. ‘It was clear that we would soon be at war, and I wanted to do something useful.’
Leo shook his head sadly. ‘A woman like you shouldn’t be shut away in a back room. You owe it to the people of Britain to brighten up their lives by bringing them a little Hollywood razzle dazzle. The war has dragged on for so long. They need some sparkle in their lives.’
He regarded her over the brim of his wine glass, his eyes twinkling. ‘Admit it, you’ve missed show-business.’
‘Well… perhaps a little.’ She couldn’t stop her mouth from mirroring Leo’s grin, though.
‘Then you’ll take the role?’
‘I haven’t been offered it yet.’
‘But if you are? And I’m fairly certain you will be.’
‘I’d have to see the script.’ Who was she kidding? They both knew she wouldn’t turn it down. Not when she had a chance to fulfil her dreams. Jess had showbiz running through her veins and she couldn’t resist its pull.
Leo raised his glass in a toast. ‘Here’s to Jess Halloway, the newest star of the silver screen.’
There was an annoying voice in the back of her mind that wouldn’t be silenced. It spoke in her voice, in the precise, clear accent she’d cultivated since joining the WAAF. Section Officer Jess Halloway reminded her not to get carried away by the glamour. She was only being offered a small speaking role in what was destined to be a morale-boosting film for the British public, not a Hollywood blockbuster. Was there another, selfish, reason why Leo was pushing her into it?
Jess Halloway the actress told Section Officer Halloway to take a running jump. She was being offered a taste of her lifelong dream, and she intended to seize it with both hands. She raised her glass in return. ‘To us,’ she said. ‘Stars of the silver screen.’
But as she worked her way through the best of what the Savoy could offer and drank in the admiring glances sent her way, she couldn’t help remembering walking on Stanmore Common with Milan, picking blackberries and laughing at their purple-stained fingers.
Chapter Nine
Jess was still bubbling over with excitement when she went on duty the next night. Her CO called her aside. ‘We’ve had rather an unusual request concerning you,’ Flight Officer Laura Morgan said. ‘The director of the film unit has requested that you be released for a fortnight. They wish you to take a role in the film.’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ Jess said, clasping her hands so tight behind her back her fingers dug into her palms.
Morgan frowned. ‘This is most irregular. If the request had been for an airwoman it would have been easier to grant. This is not the kind of work we would expect an officer to do.’
Jess’s heart sank. Although she had feared the request might be denied due to her being needed in the Filter Room, she hadn’t expected her officer status to cause trouble. It seemed she was continually falling foul of the expectations placed upon her as an officer. She, Evie and May had frequently giggled over their surprise when discovering a large part of their officer training had consisted of how to comport themselves in the Officers’ Mess. However, she knew better than to protest. All she said was, ‘I’m sorry, ma’am.’
‘Nevertheless,’ Morgan continued, and Jess’s heart skipped, knowing her wish was about to be granted. ‘Due to the nature of the film, which is intended to lift the nation’s spirit, and the fact that it will highlight the work of the WAAF as well as the RAF, we’ve decided to grant the request.’
‘Thank you, ma’am.’ Jess could hardly quell the urge to jump up and down on the spot.
‘You’ll be released from Filter Room duties from Monday week.’ Flight Office
r Morgan gave Jess a stern glance. ‘Don’t make us regret the decision.’
‘You won’t, ma’am. I promise.’
Jess practically skipped back to the Filter Room just in time to join May and Evie as they lined up to show their passes.
‘What was all that about?’ Evie asked.
‘Tell you later,’ Jess said as she waved her pass at the guard and went inside. ‘I’ve got to be on my best behaviour.’
She had thought she might find it hard to concentrate but there was an air of suppressed excitement in the Filter Room that temporarily drove out all thought of the film. The Controller briefed A Watch as they took their stations. ‘We’ve had intelligence that something will be coming out of France today. We don’t know any more than that, but we’ve assigned the code word, “Big Ben” to anything new.’
All senses tingling, Jess focused on her area of the table and made sure she was up to date with all the tracks and didn’t miss anything new being placed. Was this to do with the new secret weapon Evie had mentioned on Jess’s first day? She thought once of her aunt and Hannah then firmly put them out of her mind. She could best help them by doing her job.
Time stretched on. Jess was just combining two tracks – a glance at the sector clock told her it was 0745 hours – when she was aware of a flurry of activity further down the table, centred around the plotter connected to Swingate RDF station. The plotter was speaking to a filterer who Jess only knew vaguely. Her eyes were open wide in alarm. Then the filterer stood on a chair. ‘Big Ben, Big Ben, Big Ben!’ she called. Immediately the Filter Room burst into an orderly uproar. The Controller rapped out a string of orders, resulting in several officers snatching up their telephone receivers. Everyone else in the room simultaneously continued with their own work while remaining fixated on the new plot. Jess shivered to see it was approaching at a greater speed than anything they had seen before, at an altitude far higher than a flying bomb. This was it, Jess knew. The secret weapon the Nazis had threatened. She wished she could follow what was happening, but she had her own tracks to focus on. She could only pray that whatever the weapon was, it didn’t strike anywhere near Poplar.