by KB Winters
Derrick sat down beside me and gently pulled me against him. “I’m sorry, Sophia.”
I shook my head. “The biggest thing is that I don’t even know why I care. It’s been over a year since he told me he wanted a divorce. Why should I care if he’s getting married to someone else? I should feel sorry for her, write her a letter saying something like ‘careful, his attention span for marriage only lasts three years’ or something.”
Derrick stroked my hair. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“We met when I was seventeen. He was older, twenty-four. When I first started singing, my record label wanted me to be more of a pop princess. So, my first album was more dance tracks and so when I went on tour, I had backup dancers. Roberto—that’s his name—he was one of the dancers they hired. We started out as friends but after a year on the road together, things changed. He was my first love…my first everything. We got engaged a year after that and married six months later. The first year was good. After that, things changed. He stopped working as a dancer. He wanted to try modeling and acting instead. I helped him as much as I could but no matter what he did, he never got a foothold. Meanwhile, I separated from my original label and started my own music which actually made me more successful, contrary to what the original label thought when they signed me…”
“I can’t even imagine you as a pop singer,” Derrick said, smiling at me.
“Yeah. Do me a favor, never Google my first album.”
Derrick smiled at my pained expression. “I might like it.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but laugh softly. “Trust me, I didn’t pull it off like Britney.”
“I’ll be the judge of that, but please, continue,” he said, tucking me in closer to him.
“I guess it’s the curse of people in the entertainment industry,” I said. “My career was on the rise, he was struggling. On top of that, our schedules were all over the place. I thought things were better than they were. Maybe I was too wrapped up in my own world…anyway, last year, we spent maybe four months out of the entire year together. The next thing I knew was I came home from tour to work on my next album and he wanted a divorce.”
Derrick grimaced. “Ouch. I’m so sorry, Sophia.”
“Me too. I wouldn’t take it back, I learned a lot and I don’t regret it, but it’s still this pain point that I can’t quite seem to heal. So, to hear that not only did he move on so quickly, but now that he’s engaged, it just made me feel like there’s something wrong with me that I’m not over it yet. At least, not entirely.”
“I think everyone handles divorce differently. In the military, sadly, there’s a lot of it. I’ve known half a dozen guys who leave for one tour married and then the next one, they’re not. It happens all the time. It’s not show business, but it’s got a lot of the same stresses. Time away, high pressure situations, schedule conflicts.”
“Do you think we’re making a mistake here…?” I asked, my voice quiet as I barely forced the question out of my mouth.
Derrick was quiet a moment too long, sending my stomach clenching into a tight knot.
I didn’t want to let myself fall in love just to go through the same cycle all over again. Derrick wasn’t going to walk away from his career and I wasn’t willing to walk away from mine, either. Were we walking into a minefield?
Derrick shifted so he could face me. His hand rested casually on my leg as his eyes met mine. “Well, I care about you, Sophia, I’d really like to get to know you better but, I’d be lying if I said we aren’t going to have challenges. My job takes me away for months at a time. So does yours. But that doesn’t mean we’ll have the same struggles.”
“I know you’re right, but it still scares me.”
He nodded. “Hell, it scares me too. I haven’t felt like this before and while I don’t shy away from taking risks, this feels different.”
“Like the stakes are even higher.”
“Yeah.”
I squeezed his hand. “I really don’t want to hurt you. But I know there’s a chance this might get to be too much for me and I bolt. Not because I don’t want to be with you, but because I’m afraid of ending up heartbroken. Again.”
“I don’t want to break your heart, Sophia.”
I met his eyes, the dark brown pools flecked with gold from the low lights in the room. “I don’t want to break yours either.”
Derrick cupped the side of my face and I relaxed into his warm touch. “I think we should try. We owe it to ourselves to see where this can go. It’s too good and feels too right to let it go because of fear of what might happen.”
I hesitated, the words stuck in my throat. My heart was slamming against my chest as Derrick’s words rolled around in my mind. He was right. I felt it in my bones. But the shroud of fear still clung to my shoulders and held me back from jumping in with both feet. From the first night with Derrick, I had a sense that we’d have this conversation, there was something more between us than chemistry and a handful of nights spent together. But how would it translate? Would we be able to have something real outside of the bubble we’d been living in for the past few days? Was it kismet or was it just my frayed emotions getting the best of me and making me see something that wasn’t even there?
“I don’t want to rush into anything, Sophia. Obviously you’re still working things out and I don’t want to get in the way of that,” Derrick continued, filling the quiet as I struggled with my cloudy thoughts.
“You’re not rushing me,” I said, shaking my head. “I just need to go slow.”
A smile spread over Derrick’s lips. “Slow works for me.”
“Oh, really?” I asked, smirking at the look of mischief in his eyes. “Well, I got all night.”
Derrick’s thumb traced over my lips. “That’s very, very good news.”
His lips took the place of his thumb and he kissed me, erasing any trace of doubt from my mind. At least for the night. Tonight, there was no room for big questions and even bigger fears. I wanted to lose myself in Derrick and the way he made me feel, not stopping to wonder how long it would all last.
Derrick pulled on my hips, dragging me onto his lap. I straddled him, arching back as his lips moved down the side of my neck. He knew just where to go, what to do to drive me crazy. “Take me to bed,” I whispered, clinging to him.
I didn’t need to ask twice. Derrick pushed up from the couch, sweeping me along with him. I locked my ankles behind his back as he carried me to the bed and we didn’t leave until the following morning when the sun was streaming in through the windows.
Chapter Eleven - Sophia
The next six days passed all too quickly. I performed my shows at night and afterward, Derrick would come to the meet and greet to see me and we’d sneak away to my room as soon as we were able to. He told me the entire base was talking about us, but he didn’t seem to mind. Eventually, someone would leak it back to the US presses and the story would be splashed all over the place. The network wouldn’t care—if anything, they’d appreciate the extra publicity.
My final concert was set up for Christmas Day, and was being held in a different venue to allow more soldiers to attend. There would be a Christmas feast in a few hours and then the concert and a longer sing-along portion for some extra entertainment. I was looking forward to spending more time with Derrick—who had the day off from duty—but it was bittersweet, as I would be leaving the next evening to fly home again.
I dressed quickly and hurried out of my room to meet Derrick for breakfast. We’d planned to spend as much time together on our last day as we could. The smell of cinnamon rolls floated out of the double doors and my mouth watered as I pushed inside the dining hall. Derrick was already inside, hanging around by the doors, waiting for me with two plates in his hands, each one full of the massive pastries. He smiled wide when he spotted me and held up the plates. “I snagged the last two. Otherwise we would have had a thirty-minute wait for the next batch.”
“N
ice work,” I said, crossing the heavy traffic to get to him. With his hands full, he couldn’t embrace me, but I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around his waist before propping my chin on his chest and saying, “I’ll get coffee.”
Derrick dropped a quick kiss to my forehead. “I’ll get a table.”
We made a good team. I glanced back at him as I walked toward the buffet table that served as the coffee cart, with giant carafes of coffee, pitchers of milk and cream, and a variety of sweeteners. Derrick was weaving through the tables, smiling and tossing out greetings as he went. He was obviously well liked and respected on the base. Even if his friends did heckle him from time to time. He’d introduced me to Marcus the day before when he’d taken me on a brief tour of his office and while the man had given Derrick some ribbing, it was obvious he was happy for him. For us.
Us. The word could still stop me in my tracks. It was mind boggling at how quickly Derrick and I had meshed together. Even though our time was limited, everything kept building as though there were no deadlines hanging over our heads.
After breakfast, Derrick took me for a long walk around the base, showing me the sights of the city that could be seen from within the perimeter of the base. We stopped at the courtyard that lay below the balcony we often visited after the sun went down. Derrick looped an arm around my waist, and I leaned into him as we stood under the sliver of shade underneath a potted tree. “Have you gone out into the city? Or does your work keep you here at the base?” I asked, glancing up at him.
“Most of what I do is here, but when we go out to train the local forces, we’re out in the city.”
Fear clutched at my heart. Over the last week and a half, I’d become used to the base and had almost forgotten that we were in the middle of a war. But looking out at the city and seeing the damage that had been done, I was brutally reminded. The idea of Derrick going out into the danger…it made my stomach clench. I’d never even seen him with a gun. A lot of the other soldiers and MP’s were armed but never Derrick. I had let that lull me into another false sense of security.
“How much longer will you be here?”
Derrick leaned over and pressed a kiss to my temple. “Three more months. I’ll be shipping back to Fort Benning at the end of March.”
I nodded.
“Although I might have to see about making a pit stop in New York…” he added, smiling down at me. “That is, if you don’t get sick of me between now and then.”
I laughed softly. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“Good. ’Cause, I gotta say, three months sounds like an eternity as it is. If I never got to see you again…” his words trailed off as he glanced away, seeming to gather his thoughts. “I’ve never had this before, Sophia. I’ve been on three tours of duty and I was always single and unattached. Sure, I missed my family and friends, but it wasn’t something I thought about or obsessed over every day. Now, with you, I don’t know how I’m going to keep myself from going crazy. I’m gonna turn into one of those guys with the calendar and big Sharpie marks that count down the days.”
I smiled and placed my palm against the side of his face. “Me too.”
Derrick captured my mouth with his, the kiss doing the rest of the talking as the words ran out.
****
Later that evening, Derrick skipped the Christmas dinner to come hang out with me backstage in my dressing room. Which equated to me running late and still only being half dressed. My signature red dress lay draped over the back of a chair and with the things Derrick was doing to my body, I wasn’t sure I was ever going to put it back on. We lay intertwined on the couch, kissing and talking and laughing together as though we weren’t about to cross over into the final twenty-four hours left together.
“Mmm, you’re bad for business,” I purred, lavishing in the attention he was paying to my breasts as they peeked out from the demi-cup bralette that was meant to boost the girls under the tight red dress. “I should be doing my warm ups right now…”
“I can stop if you want,” he said, nipping at my ear.
“Mmm, no, don’t stop.”
Derrick chuckled against my neck. “You are gonna need another coat of lipstick before you go out there.”
“Probably some clothes too…” I added with a laugh.
“Definitely.” Derrick grinned and stroked his thumb over my exposed nipple. “This is just for me. No one else.”
“Likewise,” I said, gripping his cock through his pants.
A knock sounded at the door and I bristled, silently pleading that it wasn’t Jenna on the other side. “One-minute warning, Sophia,” an unfamiliar male voice said through the door. It was probably one of the lighting guys, now sent to do Jenna’s bidding so she could steer clear of me and Derrick.
Good.
“Be right there,” I replied.
Derrick groaned. “Damn.”
I didn’t make a move away from him. Not just yet. I wasn’t ready to be parted from him.
Derrick guided my face to his and kissed me, not stopping until he was sure every last bit of my lipstick had been smudged away. I giggled at his red pout when we parted and hurried to wipe away the traces from his face before reluctantly getting up to get dressed and refresh my smeared lipstick.
Derrick watched me with hungry eyes as I adjusted my undergarments and stepped into my dress. The way he watched me had my skin hot and eager to get right back out of the heavy gown. I forced myself to spin around and then craned around to indicate I needed help with the zipper. I pulled my curtain of hair out of the way as Derrick pushed off the couch. His hands slipped between the parted fabric and ran down my spine, igniting the heat into flames. I shuddered at his touch. “You planning on finishing what you’re starting there, soldier?” I teased, flashing him a grin over my shoulder.
Derrick answered by ducking his head down to kiss my bare shoulder blade. “Until the very moment you have to get on your plane home.”
My heart squeezed at the reminder. I pressed my eyes closed for a moment, willing away the sadness. Derrick removed his fingers from my skin and zipped up the dress. I missed the touch of him instantly. “Well? How do I look?” I asked, spinning around.
“Like an angel,” he replied, smiling at me.
“In red?”
Derrick chuckled. “Well I didn’t want to say like a little devil…although…”
I smacked his arm playfully. Derrick caught my arm as it whipped back and he dragged me against him. He stroked my cheek. “You sing like an angel, baby—but in bed—that’s all devil.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes at him. He kissed me on the forehead to avoid wrecking my lipstick.
“You want to watch from backstage?”
“I can do that?”
I nodded and traced my finger over the softness of his lips. “Mmhmm, and then after I’m done, we can escape back to my room.”
Derrick grinned, the look in his eyes said that he was already dreaming up what we would do once we were alone again. “Sounds pretty damn perfect to me.”
“I thought so too.”
I flashed a wicked smile, a vivid series of daydreams swirling around inside my mind as I took him by the hand and led him out of the dressing room. I wove through the makeshift backstage area and positioned him so he could see the stage but wasn’t in the line of sight of the cameras.
The music kicked up and I knew it was my cue to go.
“Showtime,” I said, leaning forward to give him one last kiss before making my way onto the stage.
I greeted the large crowd of soldiers and basked in a round of cheers before launching into my first song. I made a point to work the stage and smile at as many people in the audience as I could, but my gaze kept roving back to Derrick every few bars. He watched the whole show with a smile on his face, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so supported and adored by a man.
As the show came to a close, the music kicked over to a more sing-along style selection an
d a few of the other singers on the tour came to join me on stage. I made my way over to the side of the stage and waved at Derrick, trying to convince him to come out with me. He shook his head and protested at first, but after I gave him a pouty-lipped expression, he caved and came to share my microphone for the last round of Jingle Bells. The crowd went wild as Derrick leaned in and sang along with me.
It was the perfect moment and it was cut short all too soon.
In the middle of the final chorus, a series of loud booms sounded in the background. My eyes snapped to Derrick’s and my stomach sank as his eyes went wide. Another series of booms tore through the audience and Derrick’s shoulders thrust back. He was on full alert. I scanned the crowd and noticed that most of them were taking on the same posture. This wasn’t normal. Something was wrong. The music continued and I stumbled to get to my next line. The audience stirred as the sounds grew louder and then, all at once, a loud siren wailed and everyone sprang into action.
The music faltered as the musicians stopped playing. “Derrick, what’s happening?” I asked, reaching for his hand.
“I don’t know,” he said, squeezing my hand.
A group of four soldiers approached the stage and started barking out commands. “Leave everything here, we need to get you to safety.”
“What’s going on, Lieutenant?” Derrick asked, not letting go of my hand.
One of the women that had approached cast him a wary eye. “Our guests are being moved to the west bunker. There’s been an attack within the green zone. Report to your CO.”
Derrick met my eyes and I caught a glimmer of fear reflecting back at me. “Go with her, Sophia. She’ll keep you safe. I’ll come for you as soon as I can.”
I clung to his hand as he started to walk away. Right before we broke apart, he kissed the palm of my hand and then let it drop.
Then he was gone, swallowed up in the crowd of troops.
Chapter Twelve - Sophia
“Who would do this? On Christmas Day,” Marla, a singer on the tour, asked, giving voice to the silent question we’d all been pondering as we hunkered down in the security bunker under the palace. The noises from above were muffled by earth and the thick walls of the room itself.