At the time, it had seemed so easy. But the entertainment world was proving more difficult than she’d imagined and time was no longer on her side. Every day that ticked by was one day closer to the expiration of her dreams and the day she had to resume her birthright.
“What’s wrong?” Billy had finished with the photos and was watching her, concern crossing his face. “Was it something I said?”
“No, I just miss the optimism of our youth.” She smiled sadly at him and blinked away tears. “Everything seems within reach when you’re young. It’s hard to come to terms with the harsh reality of this world. That you don’t always get what you want.”
He reached out and took her into his arms. At first, she wanted to resist. She hadn’t completely forgiven the role he’d played in her life. He’d given her her very first taste of the cruelty of the real world. But when his arms surrounded her, she gave in. Her body melted into his embrace and she pressed her head against his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his breath on her neck.
“Stasia...”
He stroked her hair, sending shivers down her back. His fingertips slowly grazed her neck until he cradled her cheek. She looked up to find herself gazing into his green eyes, smoldering with an unsaid desire.
“Billy, I can’t...” She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. That despite the feelings of betrayal she still harbored, she wanted him. Wanted his lips against hers. To taste him and feel her skin burn beneath his touch.
“Stasia, I have to tell you. I can’t keep it in anymore. It’s tearing me up inside.”
He leaned in closer to her jawline and pressed his lips to her earlobe. She trembled and clung to his shoulder. Under the palm of her hand, she could feel his heart racing in his chest.
His exhaled and took a shuddering breath. “I never stopped loving you.”
Chapter Twelve
Stasia pushed off of Billy’s chest and stared up at him, her eyes growing wide. Her mouth moved in silent words as he reached for her.
“Please, listen to me.” He could feel her pulling away again, so he dropped his hands. The sound of blood rushing through his ears became overwhelming. “I’ve tried to fight it, but I can’t anymore. I thought time would make the feelings fade. But they haven’t. If anything, they’ve just gotten stronger. I had to say something.”
She jumped to her feet, keeping the blanket tight around her chest. He followed her example and stood while she paced the room. Her reaction to his confession had his stomach in knots. It took all his self-control not to race out that door and into the woods.
“No, no, no.” She shook her head, curls falling over her face. “You don’t mean that. It’s just the wolf pheromones. They went to our heads.”
“You’re not listening to me.” He stepped into her path and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. “This isn’t about pheromones. I never stopped loving you. Even after you broke my heart and left Molodoy, I couldn’t get you out of my head. No woman has ever erased your memory. Not even my fiancée.”
Stasia gulped, her face white. She wriggled out of his hands and took a large step back. “What you remember isn’t love. How can you even say that? If you had loved me that summer, you never would’ve turned me in for the reward money. Face it. You didn’t love me then and you don’t love me now.”
He stared at her as bewilderment wracked his brain. He had no recollection of any kind of reward money. All he remembered was the letter he’d painstakingly written to Stasia, expressing all of his emotions and hopes for their future. Words he couldn’t seem to say to her face. He’d ended that letter in a bold declaration of love and left it on the doorstep of the abandoned house she lived in, knowing that she’d return home within the hour and find it waiting for her.
She’d found him that evening while he mowed the backyard. His parents were working late on a special pack issue. At first, his heart had skipped at the sight of her marching through his yard. He imagined her throwing herself into his arms. Declaring her love and then kissing him soundly.
But then, the yelling began. Even over the roar of the engine, he could tell she was furious. She didn’t wait for him to explain anything. She let him have it, screaming about how she had trusted him and how it had been the ultimate act of betrayal, and now there was nothing left between them but ashes.
He’d never imagined she’d take his letter so hard, but a foolhardy boy of seventeen still possessed a fragile heart. Her words had shattered him. And when she’d marched away, he’d vowed to never allow himself to be so weak again.
And yet, here he was again, pouring out his feelings to a woman who cared nothing for him. He could’ve smashed his hands beneath the hood of his truck for such foolish behavior. Once was bad enough. Now, he’d let her under his skin a second time and been burned just as badly.
“This has all been one giant mistake.” Stasia paced the room, rubbing one hand over her eyes. “I never should’ve come back to Molodoy. I thought I could handle this story. Put the past behind me. But, it isn’t working. You’re the same teenaged boy. Drawing me in and making me think you care for me, when it’s all just a big lie.”
Billy ground his teeth. He knew what the truth was. It was all becoming clear.
“I think the only one lying here is you. You couldn’t stand the thought of being with a backwoods boy like me. The very idea that someone like me could love you was insulting. Poor Princess Anastasia.” He spat out the last words and glared at her.
She ceased her pacing, returning his glare. Her hair had sprung out in all different directions on her head. “Now, we get to the root of the problem. My royal position. Isn’t that what tore us apart before? The very day I confessed my true identity to you, you ran off and told the world.”
His head snapped back and confusion clouded his eyes. He could recall almost every detail of that afternoon together, spent in this very lodge. Stasia had sat next to him on the blanket, their knees touching and sending fiery sensations up his legs. She’d worn a faded yellow tank top and denim shorts. The top half of her hair was pulled half-up into a ponytail. She’d never looked so beautiful. He could even recall the slight scent of lilacs from the flowers she’d picked that morning. Nothing had escaped his notice.
She’d finally confided in him that she was the werewolf princess, next in line for the throne. The shock had caught him off guard. He’d spent weeks thinking she was just a normal girl. As normal as a werewolf kid could be. But the news hadn’t tampered his feelings for her. If anything, he’d felt emboldened by her confidence and thought his own confession would be better received.
“I’m not sure where you got that idea,” he said through gritted teeth, desperately seeking for the correct words to say, “but I didn’t tell anyone your secret. I’m not that kind of guy.”
She threw her hands up in the air and nearly lost control of the blanket. Clasping it to her chest, she sputtered and glared at him. “Of course you did. I’m not stupid. You’re the only person who knew about me. When you found out about the reward money, you couldn’t resist. It’s not that complicated.”
He stretched to his full height and flared his nostrils. “Do you really think so little of me?”
She raised her chin, but he could see the tremor running through her arms. “Billy Finley, I thought the world of you, once upon a time. But life’s no fairy tale and you forced me to realize that.”
He shook his head in amazement and made a bee-line for the exit. There was no reasoning with that woman. She was as stubborn as they came. Honestly, he’d probably missed a bullet. He could just imagine the arguments waiting for them had they ended up as a couple.
How he ever could’ve thought that she was the one for him, was beyond him. There weren’t two people more ill-suited for each other in all the world. And no one made his blood boil like Stasia Pavlosky
“You know what? I don’t have to stick around for this,” he said, yanking the door open.
Something brushed by him and he nearly l
ost his footing.
“No, I’m the one who doesn’t have to stick around for this.” Stasia stomped barefoot out into the forest with the blanket still wrapped around her chest. “You enjoy your shack and everything that goes with it. I’m done with this. Interview over.” She waved a hand over her head and snapped her fingers. “That’s a wrap.”
“Fine, go back to your castle, Princess.” Billy banged his fist on the door frame, scraping his knuckles.
“Maybe I will.” She turned to watch him while she walked backwards. “And I’ll tell you what, it’s a lot better than that dinky little garage you call a home.”
“Yeah, well at least I can do my own laundry.” He cringed at his own words. The insults were flying now and he couldn’t help himself. “And at least I know how to drive a car. I see all those pampered years in a castle and you still haven’t had the guts to get on the road.”
Stasia huffed and threw him a dirty look. Despite his anger, he had to laugh bitterly. She hadn’t been able to drive when they were seventeen and he would bet his garage and everything in it that she still hadn’t learned. She’d been sore about it then. He couldn’t imagine how much it ate at her now that her little brother had his license.
“You know what? I don’t need to listen to this. We’re done, Billy Finley.” She stalked behind a tree and threw the blanket. In a matter of moments, a gorgeous wolf reappeared and sprinted toward town.
Billy leaned against the door frame and sucked in some much-needed oxygen. All the blood that had risen to his bright red face was now beginning to recede. Rage no longer rushed through his veins, but the old wound still festered inside his chest.
Stasia didn’t know anything. She was blaming him for something that wasn’t his fault. He’d never turned her into the palace guard. He would’ve died before giving up her location. To know that she thought that little of him made him want to pour gasoline over all their old photos and strike a match.
Without a can of gasoline handy, he walked over to their old keepsakes and scowled. What a load of junk. Tossing the blanket back inside, he snapped the lid shut and put it back where they’d found it. Maybe, he’d return in a few days and follow-through with that bonfire idea. Or, just maybe, he’d finally let the past fade away and die. Just like he should’ve over a decade ago.
He glanced out the door at the darkening forest and a sullen thought filled his head. If he truly wanted to let the past die, there was one more thing he needed to do.
A last confession that would end this once and for all.
Chapter Thirteen
Stasia tossed herself onto her motel bed, stared up at the peeling yellow paint on the ceiling, and let out a heavy sigh. Tears that she’d been holding back began to leak from the corner of her eyes. She’d wanted to believe that Billy was different. That she could fall into his arms and give into her desires. But he hadn’t even been able to admit what he’d done.
Same stubborn boy.
The cold fingers of doubt niggled at the back of her mind and she turned over to her stomach. What if he’d been telling the truth? Her parents had refused to tell her anything other than the tip came from someone in Molodoy. She’d always assumed it was Billy who’d called the guard and claimed the reward for her return. After all, she’d confided in him only one day before they showed up. No one else knew. And when she went to confront him about it, he hadn’t denied it.
But what if she’d made an incorrect assumption? Could she be wrong?
The crash of her door slamming opening made her spin around. Billy stood in the doorway, his eyes wild and crazy looking. He’d managed to stuff himself back into his clothes, but his shirt was buttoned all wrong and his pant legs crumpled above his tall boots. He marched inside and closed the door behind him, danger flashing in his eyes.
“We’re going to finish this,” he snapped.
Stasia sat up and quickly rubbed away the moisture that had gathered under her eyes. She scowled and clutched the wrinkled comforter in her hands. “This is my room. I want you to get out.”
“Not until I do this.” He walked up to the cameras and turned them on to record. Snatching his abandoned microphone, he held it up to his mouth. “Will this thing work?”
“Yes...” She slid off the bed and stood, watching him quizzically. “What are you doing?”
“What I should’ve done the moment you got into town.” He threw himself into the chair and turned to the winking eye of the camera. “This is William Finley, werewolf and ex-alpha leader of the Sitka pack, here to tell you exactly what happened. Nothing held back. An all-exclusive interview with Princess Anastasia Pavlosky.”
“Billy...” Stasia edged toward the other chair and sat down. “You don’t have to do this.”
“But I do.” He sucked in his cheeks. “You wanted to know exactly what happened to Esther? I’ll tell you.”
Pain wracked his face and he had to turn away for a second. But when he returned to facing her, steel glinted in his eyes.
“I arrived in Alaska a naive young man. My father had set up an arranged marriage between myself and a young woman named Esther Okpik. She was the daughter of the old Sitka alpha.” He exhaled slowly. “And she was beautiful. Hair as dark as a raven’s feathers. Eyes like polished opals. Skin as soft as the calf leather in a 1976 Corvette. Not to mention, a mind as sharp as a tack and an overwhelming love for her pack. I thought I had it easy. After all, who wouldn’t fall in love with a woman like that?”
Stasia sat back in her chair. Her stomach felt like it’d been filled with lead. There was a foreboding in Billy’s tone, a sign of worse things yet to come. If this had been a horror movie, she would’ve covered her eyes.
Billy worked his jaw and held the microphone closer to his mouth. “It didn’t hit me all at once. I’m not sure if it was a few weeks or months into my time in Alaska before I realized it, but I couldn’t love her. There was a blockage in my heart. Something from the past holding me back. Esther knew before I did. As our marriage date loomed closer, she began to wilt. The idea of a loveless marriage became less of a saving grace for her pack and more of a suffocating prison cell with iron bars.”
He turned his head away. His eyes glistened with angry tears. Stasia wanted to close the distance between them and take him in her arms. Press her lips to his temple. Stroke his head and tell him that everything would be okay. But she clasped her hands tight in her lap and resisted the urge.
“The night of the attack, we’d argued,” he said with a disgusted sigh. “She wanted out of the deal and needed my mutual consent to break the supernatural contract. I wouldn’t budge. My father had set this into motion and I was determined to see his last work finished. The pack needed me and we were already making such strides. I didn’t realize my stubbornness was sentencing her to an early death.”
Stasia leaned forward. Her mouth fell open in voiceless words. She couldn’t believe what Billy was saying. He couldn’t blame himself for that woman’s death. It had been the hunters.
Surely, he could see that.
She should’ve cut him off. Turned off the cameras and told him enough was enough. This wasn’t healthy. He needed to talk to someone. Work through his grief and guilt. But she just couldn’t bring herself to move from her seat.
“When the hunters came, I ordered Esther to lead the others to safety.” He chewed on his tongue and grimaced. “I should’ve known she wouldn’t listen. She was so stubborn and after everything that had happened between us that night, she almost seemed determined to throw herself into harm’s way. She attacked and the hunters caught her. I tried my best to save her. But my best wasn’t good enough. When the dust settled, I cradled her in my arms. She didn’t even fight to survive. Her will to live was gone. The light faded from her eyes like the last few rays of a sunset. And then, she was gone.”
His brow knit together in anguish and he turned to stare directly into the camera lens. “Now, you see it. I couldn’t love her. My heart has always belonged to anoth
er. A girl I loved in my youth, who I would never betray. Not even two decades later. And because of my stubborn pride, I am responsible for Esther’s death and the end of the Sitka pack.”
It felt like the wind had been knocked from Stasia’s lungs. She watched Billy toss his microphone back on his chair and march out of the room, the door slamming behind him. She clasped a hand to her chest and willed herself to breathe, tears springing once again to her eyes.
It was no wonder Billy had evaded all her questions about Esther. He still carried a heavy burden on his shoulders. A burden that also partially belonged to Stasia.
She stood suddenly and crossed over to the first camera. Rewinding through the tape, she found the beginning of Billy’s heart-wrenching confession. This would make great TV. Mr. Treckle would fall at her feet for delivering such juicy footage. The werewolf who murdered his fiancée with a broken heart. Headlines like that sold out newspapers. They filled chairs of theaters and kept evening viewers glued to their TV sets.
And better yet, the supernatural world would finally know her not simply as a princess, but as a hard-wired TV producer and late night interviewer. All her hard work would pay off. On the bottom floor of the studio today and in a corner office tomorrow. She could pick and choose the stories she wanted to do. Have her own team. Truly make a difference in this world outside of stuffy royal conventions and meaningless politics.
Her hands trembled as she fiddled with the camera, pressing a few buttons and popping out the memory card. She did the same thing with the other camera and went to her computer to upload the clips. Within a few minutes, they were ready and she attached all but one in an email addressed to Myra and Mr. Treckle.
Here are the raw clips of the interview with Mr. Finley. There’s nothing to add about the fiancée’s death. Mr. Finley and I have agreed to wrap up the assignment.
Sincerely,
Stasia
After sending the email, Stasia opened up the memory cards. She deleted the clips of Billy’s confession, forever erasing them from the prying eyes of the world. Staring at the bright screen, she said a quiet goodbye to her career and all the dreams she’d built over the years.
Bite the Big Heartache: Werewolf Shifter Romance (A Monstrana Paranormal Romance Book 2) Page 8