by Nora Roberts
Thank God for it.
Cam leaned lazily against the doorjamb and yelled, “Come on, Anna, they’re just fooling around.”
At the mention of her name, Seth and Jake rolled apart and shot twin looks of panic and guilt toward the doorway.
“Got you,” Cam barked with amusement.
“That was cold, Dad.”
“That’s how to win a battle without a single blow. You.” He pointed at Seth. “Let’s go.”
“Where ya going?” Jake demanded, scrambling up. “Can I go?”
“Have you cleaned your room, done your homework, found the cure for cancer and changed the oil in my car?”
“Come on, Dad,” Jake whined.
“Seth, grab some beer and head outside. I’ll be right along.”
“Sure. Later, kid”—Seth tapped a fist in his palm—“I’m taking you out.”
“You couldn’t take me out if you brought me flowers and a box of chocolate.”
“Good one,” Cam commented as Seth snorted out a laugh and left the room.
“I’ve been saving it,” Jake told him. “How come I can’t go with you guys?”
“I need to talk to Seth.”
“Are you mad at him?”
“Do I look mad at him?”
“No,” Jake said after a careful study of his father’s face. “But you can be sneaky about that stuff.”
“I just need to talk to him.”
Jake jerked a shoulder, but Cam saw the disappointment in his eyes—Anna’s Italian eyes—before he plopped back on the floor and reached for his joystick.
Cam squatted. “Jake.” He caught the scent of bubble gum and youthful sweat. There were grass stains on the knees of Jake’s jeans. His shoes were untied.
It struck him unexpectedly, as it often did, that staggering slap of emotion that was love and pride and puzzlement rolled into one strong fist against his heart.
“Jake,” he said again and ran his hand over his son’s hair. “I love you.”
“Jeez.” Jake hunched his shoulders and, with his chin tucked, shifted his gaze up to meet his father’s. “I know, and stuff.”
“I love you,” Cam repeated. “But when I get back, there’s going to be a bloody coup, and a new king in Quinn-land. And believe what I’m saying, you will bow to me.”
“You wish.”
Cam rose, pleased with the cocky expression on Jake’s face. “Your days of rule are numbered. Start praying, pal.”
“I’ll pray that you don’t slobber on me when you’re begging for mercy.”
He had to admit, Cam decided as he walked toward the back door, he’d raised a bunch of wiseasses. It did a man proud.
“What’s up?” Seth asked, tossing Cam a beer as he swung out the back door.
“Gonna take a little sail.”
“Now?” Automatically, Seth looked up at the sky. “It’ll be dark in an hour.”
“Afraid of the dark, Mary?” Cam sauntered to the dock, stepped nimbly into the day sailer. He set the beer aside while Seth cast off.
As he had countless times in the past, Seth lifted the oar to push away from the dock. He hoisted the main, and the sound of the canvas rising was sweet as music. Cam manned the rudder, finessing the wind so they glided, smooth and nearly silent, away from shore.
The sun was low, its beams striking the water, sheening the marsh grass, dying in the narrow channels where the shadows went deep and the water went dark and secret.
They motored through, maneuvering between markers, down the river, through the sound. And into the Bay. Balanced to the sway, Seth hoisted the jib, trimmed the sails.
And Cam caught the wind.
They flew in the wooden boat with its bright work glinting and its sails white as dove’s wings. There was salt in the air, and the thrilling roll, that rise and fall of waves as deeply blue as the sky.
The speed, the freedom, the absolute joy of skating over the water while the sun went soft toward twilight drained every worry, every doubt, every sorrow from Seth’s heart.
“Coming about,” Cam called out, setting to tack to steal more wind, steal more speed.
For the next fifteen minutes, they barely spoke.
When they slowed, Cam stretched out his legs and popped the top on his beer. “So, what’s going on with you?”
“Going on?”
“Anna’s radar tells her something’s up with you, and she nagged me into finding out what it is.”
Seth bought some time by opening his own beer, taking the first cold sip. “I’ve just been back a couple weeks, so I’ve got a lot on my mind, that’s all. Figuring things out, settling in, that kind of thing. She doesn’t have to worry.”
“I’m supposed to go back and tell her she doesn’t have to worry? Oh yeah, that’ll go down real smooth.” He took another drink. “Look, we don’t have to go through all that you-know-you-can-talk-to-me-about-anything crap, do we? Going that route’s only going to make us both feel like morons.”
“No.” But it worked a smile out of Seth. “Just tell her I’m thinking about what happens next. I’ve got to get a place of my own sooner or later. My rep’s bugging me about putting together another showing, and I’m not sure what direction I want to take there. I haven’t even finished putting the studio together yet.”
“Uh-huh.” Cam glanced toward shore, and the pretty old house tucked back on the banks of the river.
When Seth followed the look, he shifted in the bow. He’d been so wrapped up in the sail, he hadn’t noticed the direction.
“Sexy flower queen’s not home yet,” Cam commented. “Maybe she’s got a date.”
“She doesn’t date.”
“Is that why you haven’t moved on her yet?”
“Who says I haven’t?”
Cam only laughed, sipped beer. “If you had, kid, you’d look a hell of a lot more relaxed.”
Got me there, Seth thought, but shrugged.
“In fact, I can drop you off here. You can try the ‘I was just in the neighborhood so can I come in and get you naked’ gambit.”
“That one ever work for you?”
“Ah.” Cam let out a long, wistful sigh, stared up at the sky as if into deep, dreamy memories. “The stories I could tell. The way I figure it, the more a guy gets sex, the more he thinks about it. And the less a guy gets sex, the more he thinks about it. But at least when he’s getting it, he sleeps better.”
Seth patted his pockets. “Got a pen? I want to write that one down.”
“She’s a very tasty morsel.”
Amusement fled. “She’s not a fucking snack.”
“Okay.” Having nailed the answer he wanted, Cam nodded. “I wondered if you were really tangled up about her.”
Seth hissed out a breath, looked back toward the fanciful blue house tucked among the trees until it was out of sight. “I don’t know what I am. I’ve got to get my life settled, and until I do, I don’t have time for . . . tangles. But I look at her and . . .” He shrugged. “I can’t figure it out. I like being around her. Not that she’s easy. Half the time it’s like dealing with a porcupine. One in a tiara.”
“Women without spines are fine for a one-nighter, or a good time. But when you’re looking for the long haul . . .”
Shock and panic erupted on Seth’s face. “I didn’t say that. I just said I liked being around her.”
“And you got puppy eyes when you said it.”
“Bullshit.” And the fact that he could feel the heat of a flush working up his neck mortified him. He could only hope the light was too dim for Cam to spot it.
“Another minute, you’d’ve whimpered. You going to trim that jib, or just let her reef?”
Muttering to himself, Seth adjusted the lines. “Look, I want to paint her, I want to spend some time with her. And I want to get her into b
ed. I can manage all three on my own, thanks.”
“If you do, maybe you’ll start sleeping better.”
“Dru doesn’t have anything to do with how I’m sleeping. Or not much anyway.”
Cam came about again and headed toward home. Twilight was falling. “So are you going to tell me what’s keeping you up at night, or do I have to pry that out of you, too? You don’t tell me, Anna’s going to make both of our lives hell until you spill it.”
He thought of Gloria, and the words crammed in his throat. If he let the first one out, the rest wouldn’t just spill. It would be an avalanche. All he could see was his family buried under it.
He could tell Cam anything. Anything but that.
But maybe it was time to unload something else. “I had this really weird dream.”
“Are we going back to sex?” Cam asked. “Because if we are we should’ve brought more beer along.”
“I dreamed about Stella.”
The wicked humor on Cam’s face drained, leaving it naked and vulnerable. “Mom? You dreamed about Mom?”
“I know it’s weird. I never even met her.”
“What was she . . .” It was strange how grief could hide inside you. Like a virus, lying low for months, even years, only to spring out and leave you weak and helpless again. “What were you doing?”
“Sitting on the dock in back of the house. It was summer. Hot, sweaty, close. I was fishing, just a pole and a line and some of Anna’s Brie.”
“You’d better’ve been dreaming,” Cam managed. “Or you’re a dead man.”
“See, that’s the thing. The line’s in the water, but I knew I’d copped the cheese for bait. And I could smell roses, feel the heat of the sun. Then Foolish plops down next to me. I know he’s gone—I mean in the dream I know—so I’m pretty damn surprised to see him. Next thing I know Stella’s sitting on the dock beside me.”
“How did she look?”
It didn’t seem like an odd question while they were gliding along on quiet water in the dimming light. It seemed perfectly rational. “She looked terrific. She had on this old khaki hat, no brim. The kind you just yank down over your head, and her hair was falling all out of it.”
“Jesus.” Cam remembered the old hat, and the way she’d stuffed her unmanageable hair under it. Did they have a picture of her in that ugly cap? He couldn’t recall.
“I don’t want to mess you up with this.”
Cam only shook his head. “What happened in the dream?”
“Not a whole lot. We just sat there and talked. About you guys, and Ray and . . .”
“What?”
“How they figured it was time she got to play Grandma, since she’d missed out on that before. It wasn’t what we said so much as how real it seemed. Even when I woke up sitting on the side of the bed, it seemed real. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“No, I get you.” Hadn’t he had a number of conversations with his father, after Ray had died? And hadn’t his brothers both had similar experiences?
But it had been so long now. Longer yet since they’d lost their mother. And none of them had ever had that wrenching chance to talk to her again. Even in dreams.
“I always wanted to meet her,” Seth continued. “It feels like I have.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Last week, I guess. And before you start, I didn’t say anything at the time because I figured you might freak. You gotta admit, it’s a little spooky.”
You ain’t seen nothing yet, Cam thought. But that was one of the aspects of being a Quinn Seth would have to find out on his own.
“If you dream about her again, ask her if she remembers the zucchini bread.”
“The what?”
“Just ask her,” Cam said as they drifted home.
* * *
WHEN they got home, dinner was cooking. And Dan McLean was standing by the stove, holding a beer and leaning in for Anna to feed him a spoonful of red sauce.
“What the hell’s he doing here?” Cam demanded, and fixed a scowl on his face because Dan would expect it.
“Mooching. That’s terrific, Miz Q. Nobody makes it like you. It makes having to see his face again easier,” he added, and nodded toward Seth.
“Weren’t you mooching here two weeks ago?” Cam asked him.
“Nah. I mooched at Ethan’s two weeks ago. I like to spread myself around.”
“More of you to spread around than there was last time I saw you.” Seth hooked his thumbs in his pockets and took a long look at his childhood friend. Dan had filled out in a way that indicated solid gym time.
“Can’t men just say, ‘Hi, it’s good to see you again’?” Anna wondered.
“Hi,” Seth echoed. “It’s good to see you again.”
They moved together in the one-armed hold that constitutes a male hug.
Cam sniffed at the simmering pots. “Christ, I’m tearing up. This is so touching.”
“Why don’t you set the table,” Anna suggested to Cam. “Before you make a sentimental fool of yourself.”
“Let the moocher set it. He knows where everything is. I’ve got to go dethrone and execute our youngest child.”
“Make sure you do it within twenty minutes. We’re eating in twenty-one.”
“I’ll set the table, Miz Q.”
“No, get out of my kitchen. Take your beer and manly ways outside. I don’t know why I couldn’t have had just one girl. I don’t know why that was too much to ask.”
“Next time this one comes over to eat our food, make him put on a dress,” Cam called over his shoulder as he headed for the den and his son’s date with destiny.
“Cam loves me like a brother,” Dan said and, at home, opened the refrigerator to get Seth a beer. “Let us go and sit outside like men, scratching and telling sexual lies.”
They sat on the steps. Each took a pull from his beer. “Aub says you’re digging in this time. Got yourself a studio over the florist.”
“That’s right. Aub says? My information is your little brother’s after her.”
“When he gets the chance. I see more of her than I see of Will. They’ve got him doing so many double shifts at the hospital he calls out ‘stat!’ and other sexy medical terms in his sleep.”
“You guys still bunking together?”
“Yeah, for now. Mostly I’ve got the apartment to myself. He lives and breathes the hospital. Will McLean, M.D. Ain’t that some shit?”
“He really got off dissecting frogs in biology. You wimped out.”
Even from this distance, the thought made Dan grimace. “It was, and continues to be, a disgusting rite of passage. No frog’s ever caused me harm. Now that you’re back, it screws my plans to visit you in Italy, have the two of us sit at some sidewalk cafe—”
“Trattoria.”
“Whatever, and ogle sexy women. Figured we’d catch a lot of action, with you being all artistic and me being so damn handsome.”
“What happened to that teacher you were seeing? Shelly?”
“Shelby. Yeah, well, that’s another thing that put my little fantasy in the dust.” Dan dug in his pocket, pulled out a jeweler’s box and flipped the top with his thumb.
“Holy hell, McLean,” Seth managed as he blinked at the diamond ring.
“Got big plans tomorrow night. Dinner, candlelight, music, get down on one knee. The whole package.” Dan blew out a shaky breath. “I’m scared shitless.”
“You’re getting married?”
“Man, I hope so, because I love her to pieces. You think she’ll go for this?”
“How do I know?”
“You’re the artist,” Dan said and shoved the ring under Seth’s nose. “How’s it look to you?”
It looked like a fancy gold band with a diamond in the center. But friendship demanded more than t
hat. “It looks great. Elegant, classic.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Obviously pleased, Dan studied it again. “That’s her, man. That’s Shelby. Okay.” Breathing out, he put the box back in his pocket. “Okay then. She really wants to meet you. She’s into that art crap. That’s how I hit on her the first time. Aubrey dragged me to this art show at the university because Will was tied up. And there’s Shelby standing in front of this painting that looked like maybe a chimp had done. I mean, what is with that shit that’s just streaks and splatters of paint? It’s a scam, if you ask me.”
“I’m sure Pollock died in shame.”
“Yeah, right, whatever. Anyhow, I went up to her and pulled that ‘what does it say to you?’ kind of line. And you know what she says?”
Enjoying seeing his friend so besotted, Seth leaned back against the step. “What did she say?”
“She said the five-year-olds in her kindergarten class do better work with fingerpaints. Man oh man, it was love. So that’s when I pulled out the big guns and told her I had this friend who was an artist, but he painted real pictures. Then I drop your name and she nearly fainted. I guess that’s when it really hit me you’d become a BFD.”
“You still have that sketch I did of you and Will hanging over your toilet?”
“It’s in a place of honor. So, how about you meet Shelby and me some night next week? For a drink, maybe something to eat.”
“I can do that, but she may fall for me and leave you brokenhearted.”
“Yeah, that’ll happen. But just in case, she’s got this friend—”
“No.” The horror of it had Seth throwing up a blocking hand. “No fix-ups. You’ll just have to take your chances on your girl falling under the spell of my fatal charm.”
* * *
AFTER the meal, and the noise, Seth let Dan drag him off for a night at Shiney’s. It turned into a marathon of reminiscence and bad music.
They’d left the porch and living room lamp on for him, so he made it all the way upstairs before he tripped over the dog sprawled across the bathroom doorway.
He cursed under his breath, limped off to his room and stripped down to the skin where he stood. His ears were still ringing from the last horrendous set when he flopped facedown on the bed.