by Karen Deen
“Sorry, Dana, just had to grab a bit of fresh air to clear the coughing fit. Jump on the treadmill and start the warm-up. I’ll be back in a moment, just need to visit the bathroom.” I can see her still looking at me, trying to work out what is going on this morning. Damn sure it is none of her business. Walking away, I grab my phone again, still no reply to my message. I step into the hallway leading to the bathrooms and call Ally. Maybe she will answer this time. Ring after ring, my chances are getting lower.
‘Hi, you have reached the voicemail of Alesha Stevenson of Stevenson Constructions. Please leave me a detailed message and I will return your call. Thank you.’
So polite, professional and refined. It makes me wonder what she would ever see in me anyway. Maybe I’m just kidding myself. It doesn’t matter right at the moment, though. It’s just important she doesn’t think I’m a total sleazebag.
“Lilly! Of course.” I bang my fist against the wall I’m leaning on. Why didn’t I think of that?
Come on, come on. Please answer. Trust me, Lilly. Pick up the damn phone.
“You better have a very good explanation, otherwise I will be sending Grant around. Let me assure you that would not be fun. Start talking.” Lilly was not the normal bubbly woman I’m used to. She is pissed off and her sisterly, protective claws are out.
“That’s why I’m ringing you. Ally won’t answer my call. It’s not what it sounded like. Not even close. She is just a client who would like to be a lot more. I ran into her for no more than five minutes on Saturday while I was out hiking. That’s it. Nothing more, I promise. I need to explain that to Ally. I have upset her but it’s not my fault. How can I get her to listen to me? I promised her this morning I wouldn’t hurt her and now I’m promising you. I like her, Lil, and I want to get to know her. She’s different, and in a good way. I need your help. You need to trust me.” There is silence on the other end. I’m dying and just about to start another big spiel when I hear a quiet little sigh.
Then a soft whisper, “I like you too.”
Fuck, it’s Ally.
I must be on speaker. “Ally, thank God, I’m sorry. Please listen to me. It is nothing like it sounded. I need to see you. We need to talk. Can I meet you for lunch? I don’t want to do this on the phone.” My heart is thumping in my chest, waiting for her to answer, but of course she can’t.
“She is nodding her head. Meet her at the office at one o’clock. I’ll message you the address. Bring your best grovelling, ‘pussy whisperer’.” Then the line goes dead. I have never hated that name more than I do right this minute. High school football, lots of beers and names that seem to stick forever. I gave up trying to get rid of it, instead I just own it. Now I just wish it never existed.
Ugh, now to go and face Dana again. At least I have something to look forward to that will hopefully make the morning less painful.
9
Alesha
WHY IN THE WORLD did I agree to lunch?
Well, technically, I didn’t say yes. Lilly did. I may have nodded my head, but no words came out. Is that even really an acceptance? I mean, I could have been nodding for any number of reasons. Like telling Lilly it’s okay to answer no, or I had a sore neck, or there was an insect buzzing around me, or any random reason I can think of that will get me out of this. I can’t even hold a conversation when we are in the gym with Lilly and Natalie. How am I going to be able to talk to Xavier in a café where there is no one else to fill the silence?
Dropping my head into my hands on my desk, I ask the universe for some divine answer to the obvious question. “What was I thinking?”
“I would say you were thinking Xavier is pretty hot and I really want to jump him, so this would be a good way to get him to beg for forgiveness. Am I right?” Lilly plonks herself into the seat on the other side of my desk in the office we share. She places the coffee she made in front of me, which does not happen often. It’s usually me, partly because I am the queen at making a good coffee.
“It’s me we are talking about here, Lilly, not you. I’m pretty sure I have never ‘jumped’ a guy before in my boring life, and I’m not about to start now. Or have a guy beg me to do anything. I worry about you sometimes, Lilly.”
“Don’t worry about me. My life is full of excitement. Let me tell you, jumping a guy’s bones and making him beg for it are two of my favorite pastimes. You need to relax and let go a little. You don’t know what you’re missing out on.” Leaning back in the chair, she looks satisfied with her little piece of advice.
“Urgh, can we just concentrate on the task at hand? How am I going to get out of lunch with Xavier today? I know! Maybe I can go home sick, with something highly contagious. Umm, vomiting or small pox. You know, something random.” I can feel my brain working at breakneck speed trying to sort out my problem. “Or maybe Mom is sick, and I need to care for her. That way he won’t be scared, he has already caught it from when he touched me this morning.”
“Wait, what, he touched you this morning!?” Lilly screamed at me. “Back the truck up, woman, and start telling me what went on before I got there.”
“Actually, this is all your fault.” I point my finger at her. “That’s right, you and your bright ideas. You ditched me this morning and now look where I am. Stuck in this predicament I have no idea how to get out of.”
“You didn’t answer my question, lady. What the hell happened this morning?” Arms crossed and pinning me with her stare. There is no way Lilly is moving until I give her the whole rundown from leaving the door of my building, up to her walking into the gym. Counting to ten in my head to slow myself down, I start to tell her the story.
“When he touched my hand, I lost all sense of reality. It was like he took over every sane brain cell I own and had complete control of my body. It’s totally crazy. This sort of thing doesn’t happen in real life, only in the books I read. There is no such thing as love at first sight. Is there? Am I just being silly, Lilly?” The look on Lilly’s face is one I’m not sure I’ve seen before. She looks totally at peace and so happy she’s emotional.
“Lilly, why are looking at me like that?” For once she is silent. That never happens. Not from the time she was born. If she wasn’t crying, she was talking and if she wasn’t talking, she was yelling and so on. She’s freaking me out now.
“Lesh, it’s finally happened. There is finally a man who has walked into your life that has totally unhinged you. You want to know if I believe in love at first sight? A few years ago, I would’ve said no way. Then Zach and Emily happened, Grant and Zara’s a work in progress, while Luke and Zoe, well, that was written in the stars. But I’ve still had a little doubt in the back of my head. My answer right now, right this minute after watching you, is that I absolutely believe in love at first sight. You have been shot with cupid’s arrow and it has you acting so crazy you have no idea what is going on. My cool, calm and calculated sister who has everything mapped out is jabbering like a lunatic about a simple lunch. Xavier, who has been shot with the same arrow, is madly messaging you and ringing me in a full panic because he upset you. The super hunk, who can have any girl he wants, is totally freaked out that you, the quiet nerdy girl, might run away after hearing some stupid gym bunny flirting with him. So, to answer your question of why I am looking at you like this, with so much happiness? I can see this turning into something special. Very special, I will say.”
Today is turning into the most bizarre day of my life. First Xavier, now Lilly. Nothing is making sense. Maybe I need to go back to bed, close my eyes and start the day again. It will then be a normal day, not something from another universe, like this day has become.
I mean, why would someone like Xavier even be interested in me, a ‘quiet, nerdy girl’ in Lilly’s words? It doesn’t make any sense, I get that. Then Lilly, being so soft, compassionate, romantic and saying mushy words about cupid’s arrows. That makes even less sense than Xavier does.
“Alesha, just breathe, just calm down and breathe. That is all
you need to think about. You’ll be fine at lunch. Just keep thinking you are in the gym. It’s simple.”
“Simple for you. I can’t talk to him.”
“So, let him do all the talking. Just nod yes or no. It will be enough. It will get easier, I promise.” I’m trying to do what she says and relax. The sweat running down my back is a good sign it’s not working.
“Look, you have an hour before he is here. Let’s practice some questions to start a conversation. Ones that will keep him talking and you will feel like you have managed to say a few words. Pretend I’m Xavier.” She can’t be serious. How old does she think I am?
“Really, Lilly, I’m not sixteen anymore. Plus, I have so much work to get done and so do you. Grant will be in here shortly looking for those contracts he wants reviewed. I’ll just cancel lunch, it will be easier.” Bumping my mouse to bring my computer back to life, I start to type hoping she will get the message.
“You better not cancel lunch, otherwise I will bring Xavier here and sit him right in this office so you can’t get away from him. Don’t even think I’m bluffing. You know me better than that.” Unfortunately, I know she’s not joking. Her stunt this morning reminds me of what Lilly is like when she gets on a mission. The bad bit for me is that I am now her current mission. There is no way I am going to be able to get out of this lunch date with Xavier.
“I don’t doubt you would. Which might be a little awkward for us both trying to get work done.”
“Oh, just shut up and go to lunch. Get it over and done with so you can just relax and get on with getting to know him. He won’t bite, you know.” I can’t help but laugh at that comment.
“So I keep being told. All right, I get it. Now can you get on with your work, so I can get on with mine, and so I can just quietly keep freaking out over here in the corner on my own.” I motion with my hand for her to get moving. That stupid grin on her face tells me she’s pleased with herself that she’s won the argument.
Trying to concentrate on reading contracts is near impossible, so I decide to just change jobs. Entering invoices into the system needs far less concentration, or so I thought. Until I get to the end and realize I’m only one million, three hundred, and forty-seven thousand dollars out in the invoices I entered. I give up. I only have ten minutes until Xavier will be here, and while I know I have been to the toilet at least three times in the last thirty minutes, I need to go again. My nerves are going crazy. Grabbing my handbag so I can touch up my make-up, I am heading towards the doorway only to see Xavier exiting the elevator with Luke.
“Crap.” I jump backwards and close the door as quickly and quietly as I can. “He’s here. He’s early. Why is he early? I’m not ready yet. I need to fix my make-up. What if I look crap?” Lilly places her hands on my shoulders and her face close to mine.
“Just breathe, you look beautiful. You can do this. Remember, he’s here to grovel. He’ll do all the talking.” My heart literally feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest. Hearing the voices getting close, Lilly drags me away from the door so it doesn’t bang into me when Luke opens it.
“Pull it together. You’ve got this, sis,” Lilly whispers as the door opens with Luke’s booming voice coming through it.
“Sounds great, man, will look forward to it. Hey, girls, look who I found downstairs. Apparently, he has a lunch date with one of my good-looking sisters, I hear.” Great, thanks Luke. I can already feel my palms getting sweaty. Like I need any more embarrassment from you.
“Ladies, nice to see you again. Are you ready, Ally? I am guessing you have a busy day, so we are on limited time for lunch?” That smile gets me every time.
“No, you guys can take as long as you like. That’s one of the benefits of owning the company.” Luke winks at me thinking he is doing me a favour. Little does he realize he is making me want to crawl in a hole.
“Umm, actually, Alesha and I have a tonne of work that we need to get to, Grant, so we are a little busy. Not everyone can slack off like you, big brother.” I want to hug Lilly for having my back. For all her little irritating things she does, when it comes to the crunch, she will always have my back. I need to shut this down before Luke gets any more bright ideas.
“Hi,” I manage to quietly get out. “Let’s go,” are the only other words I can manage. Xavier grins at me knowing how much I’m struggling. He stands to the side of the door and waves me through with his hand.
“Catch you guys later,” he calls over his shoulder.
“Look after her otherwise I will beat the crap out of you,” Luke yells out as we head to the elevator. I can hear Lilly telling him to shut up and stay out of it. He thinks he’s funny, as usual.
“In your dreams,” Xavier replies and just keeps walking beside me.
The ride down in the elevator is silent. Xavier hasn’t said a word, which is kind of weird for him. Every other time I’ve seen him he always had something to say. God, I hope he doesn’t go silent on me at lunch. I won’t know what to do. Actually, that’s a lie. I know I’ll need to talk, which for me will be almost impossible. This is a disaster in the making.
Walking out the front door of the building, Xavier touches my arm to grab my attention. I stop dead and look at him, wondering what he is going to say or do.
“I thought maybe a picnic in the park might be nice. I have a basket packed in the Jeep. Will you let me take you to one of my favourite spots in the park?” That shocks me. Not at all what I expected from him. I’m not sure on what he has in mind but decide to just go with it.
“Okay. If that’s what you want.” My answer brings a bigger smile than he had when he walked into my office.
“I was hoping it was what you wanted, but I’ll have to show you and then hopefully you will fall in love with it as well.” Placing his hand on my lower back, he steers me to where his jeep is parked and opens the door for me. I giggle a little as I climb in.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing.” I can tell, though, he isn’t happy with that answer and stands waiting for me to tell him. “It’s nothing, really. Just that I had a thought of how my dad would approve. He is very big on men being gentlemen and opening doors for a lady. That is a big tick in the Stevenson household.” For some reason the words just seem to be flowing easily while I explain. Then I realize Xavier still has his hand on my arm from where he helped me in. He is slowly rubbing it as I speak. Instead of making me nervous, it’s strangely calming me.
“If that is all I need to do to keep your dad happy, I’m a winner.” He pulls back, closing the door and running around to his door to jump in. Turning on the car he takes one look at me, about to say something, and then changes his mind and instead, looks behind us and reverses out of the spot.
It dawns on me that Xavier is as nervous as I am. He might appear to be this super confident guy, but he is really trying hard to keep it together, too. It shocks me. I’m so wrapped up in my own dorkiness that I haven’t noticed the change in him. The park is only a few minutes from the office, so we settle into the silence again with the music playing on the radio keeping us company.
Normally, I’m at home in my own silence. Today, I feel the need to fill the void. That never happens to me. I’m always the one to blend into the quiet space. Especially around a man! There is something about him, though, that is starting to settle me. Just his presence gives off a vibe today - different to the one in the gym. Maybe he is like me. His workplace is his stage to be what the world sees, just like my office is.
Xavier may not be all he appears to be.
The silence for once is making me more nervous than if there is talking. I know I’m doing it and can’t stop myself. Overthinking a situation is my worst habit. The energy I use up doing it would be better served trying to start a conversation.
The sound of the radio turning off brings me out of my head to see we are parked in the entrance to beautifully green gardens. I’ve been to this park many times before but usually alone. I will so
metimes just need to get away from the hustle and bustle of the office and my family, so a sandwich on a park bench in the fresh air is good for the soul. It relaxes my thoughts.
“Nice to see you like this place. Your smile kind of gives it away.” Not waiting for an answer, he is out of the car and at my door reaching for my hand. I think he has taken on board my comment about my dad. It’s funny how such a small gesture can show so much respect.
I take his proffered hand and slide out of the car. It’s not quite so easy to get out of a four-wheel drive when you’re in a pencil skirt and wearing high heels. It’s not exactly the outfit you would normally wear on a picnic, but too late now. Xavier is wearing bone colored cargo shorts and a pale blue button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Everything about his look is oozing sexiness while I feel like the ordinary girl who is out of her depth.
“I’ll just grab the basket and then show you where I like to go.” Before I have time to reply, he is back by my side taking my sweaty hand in his. “Have you been here before?”
“I come here sometimes when I need time to myself. It is beautiful and peaceful.”
“Yeah, me too. There aren’t many places where I can totally be by myself and just stop. I’m a pretty hyper person and tend to be on the go all the time. Sometimes, though, you just need to stop and take a breath. This is my place to do that.”
My mind is trying to reconcile this quiet, peaceful Xavier with the one I have seen the last few times we met. I wonder how often he’s actually here in need of a recharge for the soul.
We walk past the park bench I would normally sit on and continue down a path. I’m not sure where it leads. I’ve never ventured very far. Exploring is not my thing. As a creature of habit, I take the safe, known options every time.
Stopping in the middle of the path, he turns to drag me off into the overgrown bushes. Where the hell’s he taking me? I hesitate for a moment, turning him to look at me.