by Karen Deen
“So, in his freaking out he didn’t want to see Dana this morning or risk me seeing her so he took me home until he could get his head around it. He also talked to his best mate who is a policeman. He is going to check her out. It’s probably nothing. We all know what women are like trying to outdo each other. She is probably just trying to make her friends think he is her boyfriend or something stupid like that.” I look up at Lilly’s face after checking out my hands while I was talking. I didn’t want her to know there was more to it that I wasn’t sharing. She knows me too well and would be able to spot my tells if I were looking at her.
“Wait. You took him home to your apartment this morning, then went radio silent with your phone. Are you sure there is something else that you aren’t telling me? Did you and Xavier get it on, getting nice and sweaty while I was being trained within an inch of my life by Nat? You better give me every detail, Lesh.” Of course, that’s what she automatically thinks. Now, how do I get out of this one without fumbling over my words? I’m not ready to share the kiss yet. It’s too private and special. I’m still processing it in my head. I can still feel his lips on mine. His hands on my waist. His breath on my cheeks. His heartbeat as he wrapped me in his safe place. A feeling I’ve never encountered before. The hugs from your parents are ones filled with love and a safe place, but this was different. Like my soul was being enveloped by his. He fit perfectly around me. I didn’t want to leave.
“Wow, where did you go to?”
“What?” I snap back
“You were thinking about something and your whole face changed. There is no way you were in the room with me. It must have been a big morning.”
“You have no idea,” I mumble.
“Alesha, you are holding out on me. I know it. What have you done with my sensible predictable sister?” Lilly is laughing at me now. She can see I am so far out of my comfort zone it’s not funny. “Come on, spill.” She is up and next to me at the desk. Hands on my shoulders. That stupid look where it beats down all my defences.
“He kissed me, all right!” I blurt out. Damn. Bloody Lilly.
“Argghhh!” Lilly screams and pulls me to my feet. She is all over me, hugging me. “I knew he was perfect for you. He will bring you to life. Wait till I tell the others.” Starting to pull away, I grab her arm hard.
“Stop right there. Don’t you dare. Can you just keep this between us for a little bit? It’s just a lot at the moment. I need time to get used to this. Especially before the boys get hold of it, oh God, and Mom. Please don’t tell Mom. She will be all over him and scare him away.”
“That’s where you are wrong. If he can put up with me, then he will manage Mom no problem. Dad’s the scary one. You think he is going to be cool with boys dating his little princesses? He will fall over the girls the boys bring home but any poor guy who seriously wants to date us, he will be watching like a hawk. He’s the one Xavier needs to be scared of, oh and Grant, of course. Actually, that might be funny. Xavier is already watching Grant with Zara and now the shoe will be on the other foot. Oh, I think I might need popcorn for this one.”
“Lilly, Jesus. Focus, woman. Please let’s just keep it a secret for a little bit. Give me time to settle in being his girlfriend, and then I’ll tell them. Okay? You promise?” I hold up both pinkies. This is serious and everyone knows that pinky promises can’t be broken, especially with your sister.
“Hang on. Did you say girlfriend? Holy shit, Lesh. You really like this guy, don’t you?”
Oh my God. Sometimes I wonder about my sister’s intelligence. It’s like the lightbulb just turned on in her head.
“Yes, Lilly, I really like Xavier. There is something about him. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s an amazing feeling when I’m with him. We just fit perfectly. I’ve lost my nervousness, well, most of the time around him. I can talk to him, touch him and it just feels so right.” I had no intention of telling Lilly any of this, but I think I just needed to talk to someone, so it came out. I don’t have many friends, so it is only ever going to be Lilly or Emily I talk to about anything big in my life. Lilly has totally changed how she is acting.
“I knew you liked him last time we talked, but nothing this serious.”
“This is as serious as it gets for me.”
“I can see that. Okay, let’s keep it between us until you are ready. Just don’t expect me to leave Xavier alone. He is fair game.”
“Pretty sure he can handle you, little sister. Anyway, you are the least of his problems at the moment. What do you make of this Dana woman? Do you think I should be worried?”
“About her running off with Xavier? Not a chance. From what you told me she freaks him out. Being a pain in the ass and a thorn in your side, absolutely. We need to get her to understand he is yours and she needs to fuck off.”
“Lilly!”
“What? I’m serious. She needs to fuck off and find some other poor guy. It took you long enough to find him, you’re not letting her anywhere near him.” In my head I’m cheering everything she’s saying. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt strongly enough about anything to fight for what I want. Right in this moment, I realize I want Xavier more than the air I’m breathing so I’m not backing off for anyone.
“Okay, I’m going to regret saying this, but I need your help, Lilly.”
Her eyes light up and I know I’m already wishing I hadn’t said that.
“I’ve got your back, big sis. We will make this bitch wish she never met us. We can outplay her, that’s for sure.”
“It’s not a game, Lil, this is my and Xavier’s lives.”
“Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.”
So, it begins, Lilly storming forward on a mission. God help us all.
***
The morning moved fast, and lunchtime saw Lilly drag me to the sports shop like she wanted to a few days ago. I have that many new work-out outfits, I think I can start my own shop. Lilly couldn’t decide so we got them all. You would think I have a say in it but not with my sister around. Shopping shocked me. The outfits looked better than I was expecting. Hopefully, Xavier thinks they look good, too. Otherwise, I’ve just spent a heap of money for nothing. Lilly insisted I need to look the part if I was going to scare Dana off. From the photos and comments on her Facebook, she thinks of herself as a gym expert and of model capability.
I haven’t told Lilly Xavier is picking me up this afternoon. She will be leaving on time as I know she has a waxing appointment. If there is one thing my sister will never miss, it is a waxing. She needs to look perfect at all times. Nothing out of place and every part of her body ready for whatever action comes her way.
Work is a normal day until Zoe pops her head in to say that she is taking leave at the end of the week. While Zach’s away, she is taking a few days off. Good for her. Then I hear Grant carrying on at his assistant. His mood hasn’t changed. Looks like we are all going to be feeling the heat just that little bit more next week if Zoe is away. She was carrying a lot of Zach’s work while Grant was overseeing her. If I was her, I’d be taking a holiday, too. Grant is my brother and I love him, but I couldn’t walk too closely to him. He demands respect, which he gets, but he is business ninety-five percent of the time, except for when he is with the twins. That Grant is a totally different man to the one we see in our office most days.
The work day is creeping to a close. Grant is on the edge of losing it. Luke is preparing for a sneaky trip away with Zoe before they tell Grant they are together. Grant is now carrying the workload for himself, Zach and Zoe. There is no way in hell I’m going anywhere near him at the moment. Lilly has packed up and just left the office. I’ve still got an hour to wait for Xavier, so I decide to do some online shopping while I’m on my own.
Clicking onto a few of the lingerie sites, I feel embarrassed just looking at some of the things available. How are they even comfortable? Although I don’t wear granny undies, my underwear is on the conservative side. I want to get something that might
give me a confidence boost when the time comes and make me feel beautiful. They say men like lace but there are some sexy satin sets with ribbons and patterns that are more my style. I order a few in different colours and just as I’m about to click to check out, I grab a navy lace set that doesn’t cover much. Just in case. You never know what I might need in the future. The way Xavier talks when flirts, it might be sooner than I was expecting. His flirting does things to my body that haven’t been stirred for a long time and never in this way.
It might be time to update my wardrobe, too. I know I shop a lot but it’s usually with Lilly and we spend all day on outfitting her. Or buying that bargain outfit she had to have because it was such a good sale. Then of course we need shoes to match that new outfit. I’ll occasionally pick up a few new things, but they’re mostly work clothes. Clothes to go out at night don’t get worn much, so they still all look nearly new. I think it’s such a waste to get rid of them if there’s nothing wrong with them. Lilly yells at me all the time for hanging on to them for too long. Her reasoning is she donates them to charity, so they are giving someone else joy. She’s right, of course, but I’m not good with constant change. Just like my shyness, maybe this is the shove I need to try to get over that and get better at living life a little more relaxed.
Surfing through different stores for ideas, I make a list of a few places I might visit to try on some outfits. With my body curves, I need to see them on me. Ordering online scares me. The models always look amazing in the outfit, but they are also super thin. My body is not straight up and down. I have love handles, as they say. I’m a little self-conscious so feeling comfortable in my outfit is an absolute must. Mind you, some of the gym gear from this morning’s shopping expedition were borderline. Let’s see Xavier’s reaction next session, that will tell me if I wear them again. I will have my old gym gear in my bag if I need to change.
The alarm I set on my phone starts chiming to let me know Xavier will be finishing shortly and it’s time for me to shut down for the day. He was right this morning when he said today will be a long day. I feel like curling up in my bed with a cup of tea and reading while I drift off to sleep.
Xavier: I’m just getting in the car. Be there soon. Missed you
Alesha: I’m ready for you. Surprisingly I missed you too.
Xavier: I love you’re ready for me haha. Of course you missed me! Driving now.
I don’t want him looking at his phone while driving so I don’t reply. I’m the last one in the office so I shut off the lights and head into the elevator. Security will be downstairs in the foyer and will do a sweep and lock up after me. I’ll wait outside for him so they can get started and head home.
The weather tonight is pleasant outside, so I sit on the park bench catching up on the news on my phone. Unfortunately, it’s the same things that happen most days and most of it is sad and unpleasant. I wish we would get to see more of the good things in the world on the news, but the bad ones outweigh them. As I sit with my head in my phone, I start to feel a little weird. Like there is someone around me. I try to look inconspicuous and slowly do a look around. No one can be seen but my senses are tingling. For me that’s normal. I feel people around me before they even get close. It’s unusual for me to be wrong but then I missed picking up Grant behind me at the coffee machine. Maybe everything is a little out of sync since I’m trying to sort out the whole Xavier change in my life. I put my phone away in my bag so I can keep looking around me. To be honest, I feel a little uneasy.
Looking at my watch, Xavier shouldn’t be far away. Standing to get ready for him to come down the road, I wander and lean my back against the back of the building. This gives me a good chance to check out around me. I think my mind is just exaggerating after this morning.
Hearing the jeep round the corner, not exactly slowly by any stretch of the imagination, I feel a little relief. Or perhaps it’s just excitement. He makes my heart skip a beat even before he gets near me. Moving to the edge of the curb, Xavier pulls into the parking spot and jumps to greet me. Sweeping me off my feet and twirling me around, I can’t help but giggle. At the same time, a black SUV pulls out from its spot across the road, tearing off down the street. I didn’t see anyone walk to the car and get in, so it seems weird. Before I have time to really think any more, Xavier totally takes my attention.
Sliding my body down his, he stops me when my mouth is level with his. Planting a very hot, demanding kiss. One that gets my attention and totally erases every thought in my head.
“Mmm, hello to you, too,” I whisper as he continues to lower me to my feet in a daze. Not that I can stand properly after a kiss like that. “I can get used to that.”
“Oh, you will, beautiful. Every time I see you, expect to be swept off your feet and your lips attacked. That okay with you?” He looks for reassurance.
“Maybe not in front of my dad but any other time, I think I can cope with it.” His face lights up as he kisses me softly on my lips.
“Let’s get you in the car and home.” Releasing me from his hug, his hand on my lower back, he guides me to the passenger door, opening it for me and helping me in. “Need to keep Daddy happy.” Chuckling, he runs around the back of the car and jumps in.
He looks at me a little more serious. “All jokes aside, I would do it with or without your father’s expectations.” With that, he starts the engine and we are backing out of our spot and on our way to my apartment. I have no idea what the rest of this day holds but I feel calmer now that Xavier is here. Whatever will be, will be.
I hear Lilly’s voice in the back of my head asking who I was and what have I done with her sister. I tend to agree with her.
Yet, I’m liking this new part of me.
The part that Xavier seems to own.
18
Xavier
I’M NOT SURE WHY I’m surprised at the instant pleasure that overtakes me as soon as I see her standing on the sidewalk.
This woman has been lighting up my world since the moment I laid eyes on her. Now, since I’ve touched her and kissed those soft lips, my body is tuned into her no matter where we are. Not sure how the gym sessions are going to go. It will be hard to keep touching to a minimum and no kissing. Professional Xavier will have to be strong and that’s going to suck. I’ll need to explain that to her before tomorrow. She probably hasn’t thought about that to even be worried. Doubt she is ready for a big public display of affection there anyway. Especially with the whole Dana thing from this morning.
I am glad, having spoken to Kane, that he hasn’t found anything strange that we should be worried about. He thinks it is just some immature woman who has a schoolgirl crush that she is taking to social media instead of sending me cute little love notes. To me, it still seems weird. Then again, I’m not a woman, and have never been one to have a crush as I was growing up. He also said he would talk to the FBI agent that is here to investigate a stalking case that has been going on for years and across several states. He didn’t sound impressed that he was ‘babysitting’ this guy. Kane likes to be in control all the time, so having someone he has to answer to would really piss him off.
I felt more settled as the day went on. I waited until after Dana was due to have her session before I returned to the gym. Nat said she was quiet. Not her usual self. She wasn’t impressed I wasn’t there and wanted to make sure I would be back for her next training session. We will have a talk to her then and see if we can sort out a solution. Either way, I need to get Dana peacefully but quickly shifted to another trainer or, if I’m lucky, to another gym altogether. Doubt it will be that easy, but it’s got to be done.
Natalie was flabbergasted when I had time to explain everything in more detail. She was as shocked and confused as I was. Plus, we both wondered why she had sent the friend request to Ally. They had only briefly crossed paths for those few moments and then Ally had run off. I know my favourite expression is ‘I give up trying to understand women’ but this time I really don’t understand a
thing.
The closer I get to Ally, the more I want to see her. I wasn’t joking when I told her I missed her today. Whipping the Jeep into the parking spot I’m out and grabbing her for a kiss. All feels right with the world when I’ve got her in my arms. I’m losing my man card with all this sappiness, but I don’t care. As strange as that is.
After getting her safely in the car and on the way home, I tell her about my chat with Kane to also put her at ease. I don’t want to be dwelling on this for the rest of the night or any time after that.
“Now the big question for the afternoon. Will you let me take you to dinner? Just something casual. Wherever you would like. You know, like a proper date where I can hold your hand and sit next to you.” I reach over to grab her hand and link my fingers through hers.
“I’d really like that. Thank you.” In my head I am high-fiving myself, doing a few fist pumps in the air. That first night I saw her I didn’t think we would be anywhere near this point of a date yet.
“Okay, then let’s get you home to change and I’ll also change if that’s all right? I have some clothes with me. Then you tell me where you want to go. I will make sure you get the best seat in the house, which will be because it is next to me, but besides that, if you are lucky it might have a good view.”
“Let me guess, again that will be because I will be looking at you.” I love that she is now relaxing more, her witty humour is starting to really come out.
“You are a superstar. Right on your first guess. So, you find me good to look at, huh?” It feels so good to just be myself with her. Not have to worry about the stresses of earlier. Not have to worry if she likes me. Just be me and enjoy her being her.
We spend the rest of the trip chatting and laughing together. Within no time, we are in her apartment with Ally in her bedroom getting changed, while I use the spare bedroom. Knowing she is stripping off in the room next to me is a lot to handle. A few deep breaths and thoughts of smelly gym socks help keep the situation under control somewhat. Looking around this bedroom, I can see the touches of Ally’s neat order. It’s only part of what I see, though. The softness of the room. White walls with a feature wall of soft blue behind the headboard. The luxurious look of the bed lets me know I’m sure it would feel like heaven to sleep in. The room has lots of little touches of blue and grey to compliment the wall. The thing that really grabs my attention, though, is the picture on the wall. It’s large and full of emotion. A man and woman standing with their backs to the photographer. The man is standing behind her, slightly to the side of her, leaning down to kiss her. You can see the sides of their faces, and the love shown between them leaps off the picture. In front of them is a spectacular sunrise. The photo is black and white yet still shows you the colors of emotion at that very moment. I’ve never really been one to take much notice of pictures but this one, you can’t go past without it affecting you.