by Karen Deen
I can’t believe I’m doing it. My head is nodding up and down slowly. “I was picturing what you look like under those satin beauties the whole time. You know you are really testing my willpower here.” I snuggle in to his chest. Hearing his heart still racing takes some of my doubt away. I did that. I had him so turned on he lost it in front of me without me even touching him.
It’s one of those times when talking has escaped me again. I’m just happy to stand here and feel his arms tight around me. His breath on my face and the smell of sex all around us.
“I need to let you get back into bed and leave you to sleep,” Xavier says as he starts to pull away. I find my voice and it comes out nice and strong.
“No. I want you to stay. Just to hold me while we sleep. Please, Xavier. It feels amazing just being in your arms. Will it be too hard on you?”
“Oh, I’ll be hard all right, but I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.” With that, he leads me to the bed and we both slide under the covers together. He turns me and pulls my back hard against his chest, his arms encasing me.
Lying with Xavier is like being a piece that finally finds its place in the puzzle. I am the oddly shaped piece who never knew where she belonged in the bigger picture. Now I do. I belong right here in Xavier’s arms. Listening to him breathing, smelling his scent that has my heart racing every time.
“Sleep, gorgeous. I can hear your brain working. Just relax and sleep. I’ve got you.” And he has got me. Hook, line and sinker.
“Thank you.” It’s all I can manage as sleep takes over my body, peacefully drifting off to a happy place. All the thoughts of Dana and the unlocked door are totally gone.
***
Hearing the alarm going, I was confused what was going on. It didn’t sound like my phone and it’s still dark outside. I’m trying to wake up enough to work out what the noise is, I feel the bed move next to me and the groan from a man. Shit. I sit up straight in my bed, backing up against the headboard with fright.
“Ally, it’s me, Xavier. It’s just me, you’re safe.” Suddenly last night all comes rushing back and I remember the whole thing. Especially the last part where I begged Xavier to sleep with me, just holding me.
“Sorry, I wasn’t awake properly. I’m not used to having a man in my bed.” I slide back down into his arms. He’s still all warm and toasty under the blankets from just waking up. “To be honest, no man has ever slept in this bed with me.”
“You’re a mean woman, you know. You keep saying things like that and my poor dick never gets to rest around you. Knowing I’m the only man you have brought here makes me a very happy man. You bring out that caveman in me, Ally.”
My head lying on his bare chest, running my hands over the light brushing of soft hair on his body. I’m already tingling all over.
“I don’t even want to say this, but I need to get up and get to work. For the first time in a very long time, I want to call in sick and stay in bed all day.” His confession has me giggling a little.
“It would be pretty boring on your own, while I was at work.” The next thing, I’m pinned under him while he is trying to tickle me. I can’t help but laugh even if he hasn’t found my ticklish spot.
His phone alarm starts up again. We both stop and look at each other. Neither of us wants to separate but life is still going on outside and we need to start the day. Well, Xavier at least.
Planting a strong kiss on me, he gets up and heads into the bathroom. I snuggle back into my bed, lying on my side waiting for him to come back out. My eyelids are still heavy as it’s only four thirty in the morning. I’ve got time for another two and half hours of sleep before my alarm will go off.
I must have started to drift back off to sleep, because I feel his lips on my cheek and him whisper goodbye in my ear. He promises to lock the door as he leaves and tells me to call him. I just mumble goodbye and remember hearing the door close, and then nothing until my alarm startles me awake for the second time today.
I decide I hate phone alarms with a passion.
***
Today arriving at work, I just want it to be quiet and normal. The amount of sleep I’ve had over the last few days is not nearly enough for me. I’m not complaining about last night. The few hours I slept in Xavier’s arms felt magical and so peaceful. I just needed more. With him leaving so early, I dozed on and off but kept smelling him on my pillow. Running my hand over the sheet where he had been lying. I want another night like that. The whole night, not just a few hours.
I throw myself into the day. Because we are short-staffed, we are all pulling our weight to help Grant. He is a control freak so will try to take it all on himself. That’s what Lilly and I are here for. To make sure he is not going to lose his shit from overwork. If there is such a thing in Grant’s world. He’s making sure we look like we have everything under control so there’s no need to have Dad try to step in to help. That would be a natural disaster. Dad has no idea about computers, spreadsheets, or the world of changing rules and regulations. It would be more stressful for Grant if he were here. Luckily so far, we have kept him at bay.
Lilly and I don’t have much time to chat today with the phones and emails going crazy. I have to drop some plans down to the Branch Street site to our site manager. There has been a change in the plans that need to be addressed since the screw up in the demolition. Taking the lunch and coffee order, I call through to the café we use just down from the office. I ask them to give me an hour and I will pick it up. I’m already starving but these plans are urgent to get to site.
I can hear the clicking of my heels on the concrete as I walk quickly across to my car. Laughing to myself, I look at my car parked right next to Lilly’s. Hers is a sexy little red convertible, two-door Audi. Suits my sister perfectly. Hot and flirty like her. Next to it, is my car. It’s the sturdy Mercedes with all the stars for the safety ratings. Standard sedan with the most exciting thing being that it has a sunroof. That is pretty out there for me. It’s white in color because it is the safest colour for accidents. I researched all the cars before I bought this one. My brothers all laugh at me. I don’t care. That’s what I do, and then I know I don’t have to worry. They all have multiple cars and of course a truck each. My dad is funny about how a man needs a truck, so of course every one of them, the first vehicle they brought was a truck. Since then, as they have worked hard, they have then got sporty and fancier cars. To me, it’s a waste of money. Why do you need more than one vehicle? It’s not like you can drive more than one at a time. Boys and their toys.
No matter how many times I do it, I’m always self-conscious when I walk on to the building sites. Most of the tradesmen know me but there are always new guys on every site. I’m pleased to see we have females working in our crews, too. They love their jobs and take pride in what they do. I love that we just look at who is best for the job and gender makes no difference. Walking through the gate to the site office, I see Jane, one of our leading hands. I give her a wave, and she waves from the breakroom. She has been with us for a while and I have been out to a few work functions with her and had a great time. She is married with a little boy who is adorable.
I almost make it to the site office and the loudest wolf whistle grabs my attention along with a male voice yelling “Looking hot, baby”. I turn to give him the death stare, but I needn’t have bothered. Jane is across the yard and giving him a piece of her mind. He is new, obviously. I hear her telling him if he plans on keeping his job he better not carry on when the boss walks onto the site, or any other woman for that matter. I see him looking sheepish and realizing he totally screwed up. I don’t really take it to heart, but it does make me feel uncomfortable.
I don’t have long to chat, so I just leave the plans with our manager and head straight back out to pick up lunch. By now my stomach is rumbling loudly. Pulling into my parking spot, I check the time. Perfect. Exactly when I told them I’d be here to pick everything up. Grabbing our order, I hoist my bag onto my shoulde
r and juggle the coffees and lunch bags. Heading for my car as I exit the door of the café, I stop dead. Face to face with Dana. I can feel my throat drying up. I can’t talk. I just stand there staring at her. She is quick to start the conversation.
“Hi. I’m Dana, we met a few days ago at the gym. You train with Xavier, too.” She looks at me, waiting for me to acknowledge who she is. Not sure the stone-cold silence is what she’s expecting. “Alesha, isn’t it?” Her eyes are fixed on me, looking for something.
I don’t know what to do. Should I talk to her and try to act normal or should I just walk straight past her as if I don’t know her? No, that’s not going to work. She knows that we have met before, she just has no idea that we are weirded out by her. My head is telling me to act normal, don’t give her a clue you are concerned about her. Maybe I can find something out if I talk to her.
“Ah, yes, sorry my mind is elsewhere,” I manage to quietly get out.
“No worries, I understand. Busy day at work, is it?” Okay, small talk, I can do this.
“Yes, sure is. Speaking of which, sorry, I need to get these lunches back to the office for some meetings. Nice to see you again.” I try to step around her but she’s not having it.
“Oh, maybe I could help carry those to your car for you? You look like you’re loaded up.”
“No,” I yell which came out a bit too loud and aggressive. “Sorry. Thank you for the offer but I’m fine and in a bit of a hurry.”
“Fine. I’ll see you in the gym tomorrow, I guess?”
“Umm, sure. See you then.” This time stepping to the side of her, I try to keep a smile plastered on my face.
Moving my feet quickly towards my car, she calls from behind me.
“Check your Facebook, Alesha, I’ve sent you a friend request. Thought we could be friends, get to know each other. Would be good to compare our training with Xavier.” My heart is beating faster now. I’ve placed all the coffees and food in the car and just lift my hand to wave to acknowledge that I heard her. I don’t make eye contact and start my car as quick as I can. Pushing the door lock button to feel a little safer. My foot pushes the accelerator as hard as it can, sending the wheels screeching in the gravel. That’s probably the first time my car has ever done that. I just needed to get away from her. My skin tingles with my spidey sense but not in a good way. There is something definitely not right with her. I just can’t work out what it is.
After a few blocks, I’m forced to pull over I’m shaking so badly. I sit in my car for a while trying to calm myself down. I don’t know how much time has passed but I need to move and get away from here. I feel frozen but I need to force myself to start driving.
20
Xavier
THIS MORNING HAS BEEN crazy at the gym.
I had agreed to an early session with a client who works shift work as a doctor. She tries to still fit in a workout around her shifts at the hospital. She understands the importance of it for her mental and physical wellbeing. Being an emergency department doctor would be so intense. All the gross things you would see and having to think so fast because your decisions could be the difference between life and death for a patient.
Trudy is in her late thirties and has no partner at the moment. I’d say it has to do with the long, weird hours she spends at work. I’ve known her for a few years and we have become good friends. She is a great person, funny, caring and super intelligent. Some mornings we have the weirdest chats, but I always walk away having learned something from her. The men around her must be walking with their heads up their asses. She is stunning, to complete the package. I hope sometime soon she finds the man of her dreams to come in and sweep her off her feet.
Starting work at five am sure makes the days long sometimes. Today, though, seems extra long, and it’s only lunchtime. Getting up and leaving Ally in bed was not fun. It took a great deal of restraint to lay there all night holding her and not touching her the way I ache to. Patience. That’s what I need to keep remembering. The right time will come and when it does, I know it will be explosive.
Nat and I have a few hours’ break now in the middle of the day before our afternoon session starts up again. I’m starving and need food. When you train for hours each day your body needs refuelling constantly. Well, that’s what I tell myself to justify the amount I eat every day. I eat healthy options most of the time but I’m not one of those people who is obsessive about it.
“Hey, Nat, you ready for lunch? This body needs some fuel, I’m starving.”
“You’re telling me like it’s a new revelation. You are always hungry. Day and night. I’m sure that’s why you were born first. You had run out of food and needed more. Probably took part of mine, too.” Picking up her bag, she slaps me on the arm as she passes me heading to the front door of the gym.
“I only took what I deserved. Not my fault you were the weaker twin. If you didn’t fight for what you wanted in the confined place, then not my problem.” Nat turns and pokes her tongue out at me and keeps walking.
I follow her, wondering where lunch is because today is her choice. I don’t have any other siblings so I can’t compare, but being a twin certainly gives us similar tendencies. It’s very rare either of us will pick lunch and the other one really doesn’t feel like that. We are in tune without even doing anything.
Just as I’m about to jump in the passenger seat of Nat’s car, I realize I’ve left my phone in my locker.
“Hang on, Nat. I’ll be back in a sec. Forgot my phone.”
“Far out, just don’t worry about it.” Not a chance. I want to call Ally while I’m at lunch just to say hello and see how her day has been so far. Jogging back out of the locker room, I run smack bang into Dana and a man I don’t recognize.
“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t see you there, Dana.”
“Xavier, that’s okay you can put your hands on me anytime. This is my brother Edward, he’s visiting the gym today. He works in security and thought he would check out the inside of the gym where I go to make sure it’s safe.” Fuck. This is the last thing I need. I ignore her comment and appear rude as I just keep moving, calling over my shoulder as I kept going.
“Sorry, in a hurry, I have a meeting to get to. Nice to meet you, Edward. Good idea, the gym needs to be a safe place for everyone.” I hear her mumble behind me.
“That’s what she said. Pathetic.” I don’t understand what the hell they are talking about, but I don’t hang around to find out.
“What took you so long?” Nat pulls out of the spot and starts driving as I’m getting settled.
“Fuck, I ran into Dana literally, as well as her brother, as I was coming out of the locker room. Last person I wanted to see. No idea why she would be there now, she said her brother was visiting? Anyway, I brushed her off and kept running. Not sure she was happy about it either. Heard her mumbling behind me. That woman creeps me out.” Nat just shakes her head at me and keeps driving.
My heart is still pumping a little quickly. Gives me a sudden urge to speak to Ally and check on her day. Dialling her number, the picture of her asleep in her bed snuggled with the sheet and blanket up against her cheek plays through my mind. The phone only rings once, her voice cutting in straight away.
“Xavier.” The tone in her voice has me sitting straight and gripping my phone tight.
“She was there, right there in front of me. I didn’t know what to do or say. She just had me trapped and wouldn’t move. I didn’t know what I should do. I just played dumb. Is that what I should have done? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I just froze.” Ally’s voice is tense and rushed. She is panicking about something and I have no idea what she’s talking about. All I know is I need to get to her.
“Baby, calm down and tell me what you’re talking about. Where are you?”
“Driving to the office. I need to get to the office. It’s normal at the office.” Fuck, she sounds so confused.
Natalie has already worked out something is wrong. “Where to?” she whispers
. I mouth the office address, and she turns straight down the next street to take us towards Ally.
“Ally. You are fine. You are safe in your car. Just slow down your driving and start to tell me what happened.” I can hear her crying quietly in the background. “Ally, if you need to cry, pull over and I will find you. Don’t drive if you can’t see properly from the tears. Talk to me and the tears will settle.” I can feel the tension in my body and it’s building higher and higher. “Ally, just take a deep breath and talk to me.”
I hear her take air into her lungs and slowly let it go, with a big sigh following.
“Dana, she was standing at the café as I came out. She was blocking the door and wouldn’t let me past. It freaked me out…” Her voice drifts off to nothing.
“Ally, how far are you from the office?”
“Turning into the parking garage.”
Natalie is already driving like a crazy woman. We are just two streets away.
“Stay in the car. I’m nearly there. Just keep talking to me. You are safe in the car. Just stay there. We are pulling into the street now. Natalie is driving like a rally car champion to get there. Rounding corners on two wheels and everything. You should see her.” A tiny giggle comes through the phone. As the car bounces the driveway kerb, part of me thinks I’m not lying about the rally driver. Pulling up beside Ally, I’m actually already half out of the car before it stops, running to her door. Yanking her door open, releasing the seatbelt and hauling her up and into my arms. Then the tears really start to flow. She is hanging on to me like her life depends on it.
What the hell is going on today?
Why is Dana everywhere making a nuisance of herself and acting suspicious?
Rubbing my hand slowly up and down her back, Ally’s tears start to subside, she relaxes more into my body. Natalie is leaning against her car, just giving us a little space but looking very concerned. I know my twin telepathy is telling her I’m just as concerned.