Warily getting to my feet, my back stiff from sleeping practically on the ground, I wander over to the shed door to see a shitload of cows being pushed through into a paddock, the three amigos on horses looking happy as riding through the swirls of dust and the bellowing of the cows. They work in a perfect team but still, I can’t help but be drawn to Avalon. I remember Sam’s words when we first saw her ride, that she was made for it.
Cherokee is whirling around in the small paddock, revved up to the max. One of the dogs cut through his paddock and he chases it with his neck all long and low and ears back. I’m not going near him, no way. Outlaw is enough for me. I’ll try not to visualise Av riding him tonight. Apparently, they are going to be practising with Tina for some mounted games thing. Av talks about it like it’s exhilarating but it sounds bloody dangerous on a horse like that.
My eyes stray to Flea. The dude was practically dead in that hostel compared to now. He looks like he’s an entirely different person, he doesn’t appear so grey and translucent, or frail on the verge of dying in his sleep. Watching him now, cracking the whip and whirling on Zoey’s horse, it’s actually hard for me to think he was even in the hostel. He still has a lot of life in him.
I frown. It must have been horrible to be put in there when he could still do all this. I guess he’d have to start believing he was pretty much the walking dead himself being in there. Nobody better damn well put me in there when I’m old, I want to surf until I die out there or something.
Pop is in that place.
“Seth? You okay?” Av peers down concerned as Amber prances in front of me, eyes on the cattle. I step back away from her jigging feet.
“Not really,” I admit, startling myself.
“What’s up?” Av asks running her hand down Amber’s dusty neck, murmuring softly to her. A single ear swivel in Av’s direction.
I think of my house, with six empty bedrooms, I think of my Pop teaching me to surf. I think of my attitude of viewing him as a burden.
“I suck,” I blurt out.
“What?” Av chuckles. “That movie wasn’t too bad last night or my pillow.”
I was her pillow and she was referring to the ‘Tomorrow when the War Began’ which I bought for us to watch because I thought the main girl reminded me of Av.
Av created a running checklist some of similar things as the movie went on:
Drives tractor - check.
Rides motorbike - check.
Shoots - check.
Brown hair - check.
Chainsaw - check.
Blows things up - check.
Has an Asian friend - check.
Has an Italian friend - check.
Would fight - check.
Eats two-minute noodles and vegemite - check.
And that’s about all.
Av said that she wouldn’t have gotten all sad or funny about protecting her land. Then she told me stories of how they have these stock huts all around their station, they had to take the ammo out of them when some guy got loose and bury it, but they could live out on their land for ages under attack and survive as well as kill. She told me how her and Nathan stayed out there for a month, covered in shoe polish, practising for just that scenario. God, Nathan scares the shite out of me.
Apparently, people feel that way close to him too. When she rang her older brother, Angus, last night to check up on how the farm was going, he bought up Nathan. I heard him say that Nathan’s getting bad, did she really want him to come down there? To let him loose? I felt like grabbing the phone and yelling ‘No!’ Av, of course, was like ‘Duh, we’ll have a ball together. I can’t wait.’ Great. Not.
“I was just thinking of Pop, in the hostel,” I mumble.
Her face darkens under her hat, and she looks up at Flea who’s chasing a cow into another paddock. He’s whooping and cracking his whip. When she turns back, she suddenly smiles at me and I feel like I’ve just uttered a campaign winning sentence or something. She’s literally beaming at me like, I dunno, I waved a wand and made Outlaw 100%.
“Come here,” she beckons and I slowly advance as Amber swings her head around to watch me. Av leans down when I’m in range and hugs me.
“Get him out then, dufus,” she smiles sitting back in her saddle.
“I can’t, it’s mum’s call,” I run my hand over my chest. In my head, a million reasons form up like a tsunami why he can’t come. A lot are to do with me. My time. My life.
“Talk to her about it then,” she pushes.
“You heard her last night, Av. Once she has made her mind up it’s over, she won’t change on this,” I lean my head against her leg and feel amazing sensations as her fingers curl through my hair. I’m tired, I’m sore. I need more sleep. This is very unlike me to think of all this stuff. I’m not sure I like it. Half of me wants to go back to the me where I only think of me. It’s exhausting thinking of other people.
She lifts my chin. “If you really believe there is absolutely no chance Seth, then do the next best thing. Help me make that shithouse place better for them. Help me give them something to wake up for every morning. Harry and Flea all say that being around young people really invigorates them. Take your Pop out surfing, visit them. Say you’ll help me. We’ll start with the painting; I’ll ask someone to stay with Outlaw and we’ll paint on Friday night. Are you in?”
My eyes find hers, glowing with that catching fire she has. That fierceness that makes you swallow.
It’s now or never, Seth.
I nod, my heart beating oddly. “I’m in.”
PICTURES OF YOU
Avalon
“Arrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh!” Tina’s face is shockingly white as I release my focus from her outstretched hand because she is screaming so loud that it feels like my ear drums are on the verge of exploding. Banjo is backing up and about to swing out of her hold. Cherokee is oblivious to the drama he is causing as he thunders us toward them like a steam train, he listens to my legs but not too much to my hands or my seat. He abhors pulling up. Which is bad when there is a house pretty close behind Tina.
Banjo skitters out and jumps to the side, head high up, eyes showing white as we almost get close enough to pass the baton. “You got him. Hold him there, Teen,” I encourage her. She throws me a glance that says, ‘get real.’ Nathan would be sitting there yawning like he’s been waiting six years for us to pass the baton. I must keep reminding myself that everyone is not like my family with this type of activity.
I laugh, thinking that Nat is still young enough to compete in Pony Club, that together we would terrorise the state, we would be unstoppable. I’ll try and rope him into joining. I throw the baton on the ground as I focus my whole being slowing Cherokee up in a one rein stop, we manage to pull up just before we hit the verandah. The next five minutes is spent on getting him to listen... and rewarding him for trying. Thing is Cherokee loves to go, to move... not stand. So, rewarding him is a bit complex, most horses I’ve had like to have a break from work, from moving. Not Cherokee. Nathan is going to go nuts over him.
Harry chuckles as he trots beside me, “I think you had better go last in the lineup.”
“I second that, pair of nutcases!” Tina wheezes her eyes wide; Banjo is eyeing Cherokee warily.
“Don’t listen to the mean girl,” I coo to Cherokee. “She just wants to ride you.”
Tina half groans, half laughs, “Maybe if I had a death wish. You must want to ride Banjo.”
“He is cute,” I reach over and ruffle Banjo’s mane which is a feat in itself. We trot around the paddock about five times. I try to keep in line with the others, but Cherokee has other ideas. I’ve never been so glad I practically live in the saddle as I am now. He’s not a horse for the faint hearted, I love the feel of the adrenaline though when he gallops. He’s my type of horse. ‘Fast’ doesn’t describe him.
“I think I better work on stopping within fifty metres today,” I lean done to stroke his neck. Gees, he’s a bloody goer, he’s obviously done s
omething similar because once Harry took off first - Harry and Flea were helping us practice for the mounted games - he was beside himself in an instant. Prancing and jumping all over the place, throwing in a couple of smallish rears. Fired up to the max. He’s like finding a diamond in a rubbish bin.
The only time my little diamond stood still was when Flea was about to pass me the baton, the nanosecond my legs closed he was off. He’s built like a powerhouse tank too, and he has way more takeoff power than Amber and he can go straight into a blazing gallop that whips the wind against my face. However amazing it feels to ride flat out it’s not incredible for a team event, I need him to listen to me.
“They have fences around the field,” Tina interjects. “Thank God, but you are definitely going last. No one is going to be able to stand there with him hurtling at them. That was the scariest moment of our lives.” She cuddles Banjo. He just plods on ignoring Cherokee’s antics.
I’ve missed Tina and the others a lot. Wade, Jaime, Lucy, Roo and D are here as well. Getting set up for the barbecue we are going to shovel down later. I’ve had an awesome day, working is my peace of mind, especially working with cattle. We got a lot done today even though I did choof off to check on Noah - who wasn’t bloody there- for an hour.
“Alright, so I’m last. I’ll bring home the bacon darlin’.” I try to talk in a swarmy Texas voice. Tina just looks at me like I’ve just got the donger on Red Faces. “What one should we practice now?” I try not to think of Noah even though the world appeared different after I had slept. Since I had some, I feel so much better. I honestly hadn’t realised just how sleep deprived I had become. Last night it seemed like I’d been strapped on an emotional rollercoaster that was controlled by some psycho (probably Seth’s mum.) And the rollercoaster itself didn’t just go high and low, it felt like it went down into an abyss and so high it was difficult to breathe.
I decided not to let that little sulky voice inside me rule my actions. I’m not going to pull away from Noah... but I’m going to do what we do with horses at home. Let them teach themselves what they can. It’s the best way, all I’ll do is be there, he can work out what works and what doesn’t. I’m going to be me, without changing a damn thing and he’s going to learn how to deal with it... or if he even wants to. Someone needs to stick by him, show him that he’s worth it. He might have to learn to stick as well.
“The stepping stones?” Tina smiles knowingly.
I give her a droll look pushing Noah out of my mind. “Ha ha. Funny.”
“We have to do them,” she shrugs still smiling smugly.
“I know what you’re bloody grinning about, thinking of me trying to get off and run beside Evil Kenevil here. Let’s leave that one to last and try the bending next, huh? Miss Malicious riding Mr Perfect, who okay’ed that combination?” I give her a fake evil glare but pat Banjo again affectionately. He’s a great little horse, she should be proud.
“Did you just say Evil Kenevil?” Flea laughs.
“Yeah,” I twist to look at him. “That’s his name, isn’t it?”
“No,” he chuckles. “It’s Evel Knievel.”
I throw him a sour look. “Evil Kenevil sound so much better. Like he’s hardcore or something. I’d change it if I were him.”
As we ride for the next hour, I mentally catalogue all the things I need to work on with Cherokee. He’s a horse that once out of the view of other horses... or activity will settle and work. Once he’s within range or sight of other horses, working, playing, doing basically whatever, he doesn’t listen. He fights the bit, lifts his head up, the list goes on. To turn him in that frame I’ll have to acquire muscles as big as Nathan’s if I don’t fix it ASAP. He wants to be into whatever the other horses are doing and thinks he can just waltz on over there forgetting he has a rider. He should be called ‘Forrest Gump’ because he just loves to go. I’ll take him to the sand dunes later this week and let him go for it.
For the whole time we are riding, I keep his feet busy unless he will stand still when I ask. If he does, I relax my body and let him take a breather. If he moves off without me asking, I work him hard. In those few seconds, he stands my mind wanders to Noah’s whereabouts. It’s annoying me like a bit of hay stuck down my bra. When I concentrate on Cherokee, I don’t think about Noah so much, but when we stop... I shake my head again. I don’t get why I can’t stop thinking of him so much.
By the time we get to the stepping stones, Cherokee is pulling up better, not great, but at least we aren’t going to crash through the wall of Harry’s house like an out of control cyclone. In the beginning, two seconds was a mega ask, now he will stand for six. Major improvement. He’s also flexing a little better through his body; not just his head and neck. I grin because we are going to rock when we get all these things worked out.
Harry and Flea trot past the stepping stones and canter the rest. Tina and Banjo are going to be very reliable teammates. Banjo is rather slowish but he didn’t shy from the balloons, he rode straight for her first go to get the ring on her baton, he holds steady while she put the letter in the mailbag and he goes at her pace as she runs over the stepping stones. He’s a really nice natured pony. A real little honest workhorse. I watch as he calmly walks as she throws herself up into the saddle. The mailbag freaked Cherokee out and Wade screaming like a girl as we rounded him didn’t help calm the situation. It made me giggle so much I almost fell off.
Cherokee, seeing Banjo approaching is moving his feet around faster than an Irish River dancer on red cordial. One minute he’s skittering sideways the next he’s kind of acting like a hyperactive rocking horse, getting his hindquarters right under him for the powerful takeoff he is anticipating. I don’t mind excited horses, but they have to listen when we work, and already I can tell there’s not much of that happening. The stepping stones are definitely going to be our nemesis. The balloons were bad enough but getting off and getting him to go beside me at my pace is going to take a lot of training. I won’t even think about the jump back on.
Banjo canters steadily toward us and Cherokee tenses, nostrils sucking in a deep breath. He rocks back on his hind legs, eyes and ears locked on Banjo.
“Steady, boy, steady,” I murmur to him. I notice Outlaw watching from the shed. Amber’s bum is all I can see of her, no change in view since I saddled up Cherokee. I release some of the pressure on the reins as he stops his skittering and stands. Tense and ready but he’s standing.
Three, two, one.
We launch, I hold him to a fast canter the stepping stones still looming at a rate of knots. He isn’t listening so I turn him tightly and he fights me, fighting to gallop. We have our disagreement for about three minutes. Half halts, serpentines, transitions... I feel the second he gives in and works. I get him to canter and slow to a swinging trot before dismounting next to him to attempt to spring across the stepping stones.
Suddenly, he’s transformed into an Andalusian Stallion, I decide not to risk my life, so I make him stop altogether which takes another five minutes. We practice stopping, walking calmly which takes another ten minutes. The second he does without mucking around I pet him and tell him what I good boy he is before swinging up, making him stand for ten seconds then walking to the finish post.
Patting him my mind brings up Noah again. I have to know where the hell Noah is. I can’t believe no one at his work knew where he was. I hate not knowing. Which is weird because it never worried me before.
“You better practice stepping stones every day, Av!” Tina bumps my shoulder with a baton. “and stopping... and well, just standing...”
“The list goes on. Wait until we do the tyre race together,” I wink at her laughing when she pales.
“No way, I’m not doing that with you! Jen can do it with you,” she looks horrified at the thought.
“Don’t worry, I’ll work on it all,” I slide down giving Cherokee a kiss on the nose. He’s a very affectionate horse, the opposite to Outlaw, Mr Above the World. “I’m glad we did thi
s because I know what I’ve got to work on now.”
“But he’ll still be fast, won’t he? We’ll get a place at State with him on the team.” Tina pulls Banjo’s reins over his head. “I’m so excited. We are going to kick arse!”
“Yeah, he’ll always want to go, I’m just gonna get him to listen to me while we’re going. He gets too worked up and silly.”
“This will be Banjo and I’s fifth games. He knows what he’s doing.”
“He’s an awesome boy! You’re very lucky,” I smile at her, pride brimming in her eyes for her horse. I love when I see that. That people see their horses as so much more than a horse. I’m not sure many people would understand that if I said it out loud.
“You guys better get on a team!” I grin at Harry and Flea as they mosey over. They had a ball running through the games, both grinning the whole time. Peanut really enjoyed today, working the cattle and the training. Him and Flea make a great team. There’s nothing like finding a horse that just... fits you.
I grab their horses’ reins, “We’ll fix ‘em up. Go relax.” We worked hard today cutting out the cattle from the main herd that Harry decided to sell. He got quite tough, even his main bull felt the pinch.
Tina and I lead the horses over to the hose. I pull off the saddles and swap the bridles for halters, my mind having a private conversation with itself about Noah and whether I inadvertently killed him or something last night. Did my bikini top strangle him to death in bed?
Why wouldn’t he have gone to work? Was he too upset? Was he angry? Just before Tina and the gang arrived, I’d given in and texted him. I check my phone... nothing. Maybe he didn’t want to talk to me again.
“Sooooo, have you kissed him yet?” Tina asks out of the blue as she slides off Banjo.
“Streuth, don’t bring that whole fiasco up,” I sigh. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Tina walks around and holds my face in her hands, “What. The. Actual. Hell?”
Pressing the pump button in to call in some dam water, I hose around Cherokee’s feet before moving the spray upwards. She lets my face free. “Last night, I don’t know what come over me but... but... I put myself out there and... he backed out of it.”
Avalon Expandable Heart: The Wild Heart Series Page 5