This whole time something has been happening in my body, my brain, every cell. Since the moment I saw her eyes in that cell. It literally burns everything else out of the stratosphere. The survival mode of gripping the horse like a monkey disappears... I can’t think of anything but the way I feel about her. The twenty things I wanted to do for her.
The way I felt when I heard myself talk to her the other night, the way she snuggled into me. I don’t want to go to prison, I don’t want to work for Rocky. I want to be with the girl that will tattoo this moment on my back in stick figures, complete with her in a beard and a mop on my head.
“Av?” My voice is croaky with what I’m feeling. I fucking love her. It’s overwhelming me.
She swings around in the saddle, I frown as I see the blood, now dried, fanning across her face. She hasn’t complained about it once. “Yeah?”
“Can we stop?” There’s something I had to do.
“We are almost there. We’ll be able to get off in like,” she shrugs and examines the bush ahead. “Three minutes. This isn’t the best place to stop right now.”
“Oh shit!” I exclaim realising just then we are walking on the side of a bloody sea cliff face. The waves below tumbling over sharp rocks. I can’t remember taking my eyes from her form the whole journey. I’d never find my way home if she left me.
“Cool, hey?” She beams looking down into the murky water crashing beneath us. “I reckon you could throw a body off here and no one would ever find it.”
God help me.
We meander away from the cliff edge into the bush until she pulls up in a cleared area, already equipped with a tent.
Peanut keeps walking, I’m not sure how to stop him so I pull on the reins only to have him back up. Av laughs, of course. Instead of working it out I feel the need to get to more important things. I jump off his back and stride to her side. I need her so much.
Av is swinging down when I catch her, turning her to face me in my arms she looks surprised.
I stare at her for a full minute, etching everything into my mind. She just waits with one of those crazy bushy eyebrows raised.
She’s not expecting this, but there’s only one girl in a guy’s life that he would wear a used mop head and a fake itchy moustache for. And she’s it for me.
For the first time in my life, I fight everything rushes at me. Grasping her like she’s the most precious thing I will ever hold before leaning in toward the only girl I will ever truly love to feel her soft lips against mine.
BECAUSE
Avalon
Once the small camp I had thrown together before I had ‘broken’ Noah out of the holding cells comes into view, I kind of get to wondering what the hell I was thinking setting it up like I did.
It seemed a good idea at the time just to throw up one tent. Admittedly, time wasn’t on my side but how in the world did I forget his aversion to human closeness?
I’ve done what Nathan says I always do, get so excited over plans that I let the little details just slip through my mind like cattle through a shoot. I’m glad for once he isn’t here to rub it in.
I decide not to turn and study his reaction as I ask Amber to a halt. If I see the despair or... or... that hard coldness that tunes everything out on his face I will... feel as bad as the pain radiating from my side. Or bloody annoyed. Most likely annoyed. I just know I’ll hark up.
Throughout the ride, each and every second of whole time I’ve been hyper-aware of him. It didn’t matter that Noah didn’t talk much after he thanked me, I don’t think because he didn’t want to, but because he was too busy trying to stay on Peanut. So, I’m not entirely sure how he feels about the situation now, whether the initial excitement has worn off or whatever, but I do know in the last few minutes he’s changed. I personally was so damn thrilled I nearly screamed hysterically when the cops said yes to my plan. They had to settle for a fierce flying hug; otherwise, Noah would have heard the victorious shriek I wanted to let loose. Harry had covered his ears in readiness.
Peanut, on the other hand, was the epitome of ‘bombproof’ and serene on the way here, very well-behaved following sedately behind Amber like a trooper. So, he was the right choice, not that I had much of a choice of suitable horses. Cherokee would have been the choice if it were Nathan in jail. But not for anyone else. Peanut’s such a nice, willing boy and has a rocking horse canter - for guys - I cantered once Noah got the hang of the walk, it’s way easier to sit to than a trot. I kind of had to put on the pace once we got out of the suburban landscape, not to keep up the illusion we were really on the run but to get up here before nightfall. If I were at home night wouldn’t worry me, but the terrain here is very unfamiliar. Very different.
I hear Peanut stop behind me, but I still can’t shift my gaze to Noah. What if he sees me freaking out, then I cause him to think of what I’m freaking out about, and then he freaks. Or worse... what if I look too happy about the camping situation? What if he thinks my whole plan was to get him here? Alone. I have the sudden insane urge to sing, ‘I think we’re alone now. Doesn’t seem to be anyone around’ just to see how he will react. Hopefully, he won’t pitch himself off the cliff. Shouldn’t have made that body off the cliff comment.
What if he sees that I can’t stop thinking of him. Haven’t been able to stop thinking of him since the ‘fear letting’ night.
This should probably be the time I scrutinise my planning strategies, reflect on my choices like Angus always tries to get me to do, but really... that’s not me. Dad said that straight up to Angus when he found him trying to teach me ‘reflection’, something about some guy’s hierarchy to become a self-assessing human. I had no one idea what he was talking about, Angus reads way too much, or listens to talking books too much. Either way, he’s always trying to self-improve everyone. I’m happy just the way I am. Pop always interjects when Angus tries to teach me some philosophy that pretty much tells me not to do what I think, Pop always mumbles something about stuffing up well laid plans. I still don’t know what that means.
This time though it was Dad, who had watched for a full five seconds before falling off the hay bale in hysterics, holding his stomach and rolling around. Angus ending up sitting on him to shut him up. But Dad was right, I’ll get to where I get when I get there because you must learn from experience, someone telling you means nothing until it affects you in your everyday life.
What I did today was me! And I bloody loved it! I did what Nan said makes you alive, I gave someone - and me - a thrill! Shrugging the whole ‘what if’ weight off my shoulders I decide just to keep on going being me, the way I always am. One tent and all. But if it bottoms out and he does freak, the silver lining is that at least I’m well traversed in sleeping outside with my horse.
And... he can’t get away either.
Instead of laughing evilly at that thought, I swing my leg over the saddle carefully, my side shooting with pain only to suddenly feel strong hands grip my waist and turn me in midair. I freeze dangling a foot about the ground, my eyes at his eye level. His green gaze captivating me, turning my body into a piece of wet spaghetti between his warm hands.
Strings from the mop hang down on his forehead darkening the area around his eyes, the light greens in his pupils seem to glow. I’m lured in like a little fish to the light of a Deepsea Angler
I’ve always loved eyes but never until this moment have I really discovered just how much emotion they can convey. I mean, my families are mostly warm and loving except when they go hard and cold. My eyes can do that, I know, but his are different to all that. They aren’t... aren’t guarded like ours can be with strangers. His are exceptionally beautiful, set in under those long dark lashes and even if Noah couldn’t utter a word, I’d know that he’s experiencing some mega intense life-altering moment. And that I’m the cause of it. That thought throws my heart into a gallop that would give Frank chasing after Voldemort a run for his money. The blood pushing past my ears to my heart is deafening. I can’t believ
e someone would ever look at me the way he’s looking at me now.
These amazing eyes that were dead when I first laid eyes on him are so bright with something that it ignites parts of my body he’s not holding to flame up in reaction. I’m a wet spaghetti noodle bonfire. He stares at me, raking his gaze over my face and perusing my every detail like I’m something precious.
His eyes flick down to my lips. Mine part. And then so do my multiple unknown personalities. One is saying, ‘Close your lips, you’ll scare him off’, another is saying, ‘Crap, we don’t know how to kiss, do we tilt? Do we open my mouth? Is our nose going to get in the way,’ and yet another one is saying, ‘Hell girl! Go for it. We waaaaant this’. That is probably the one Dell has influenced.
Deciding to go with my previous conviction I just wait for him to make the move. His eyes burn with intensity as his face lowers toward mine, his breath smells sweet as it fans softly over my... my beard!
Has he not noticed I’m still a man here? I wrap my legs around his waist and try not to close my eyes and sigh as his hands slide up to grip my thighs. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, he just waits. I raise jelly hands and fumble to take my beard off.
“Ouch,” I flinch at the sharpness in my side but cover it up by pretending the beard hurts as I try to yank it off. It’s not an ‘I’m dying’ pain it just plain hurts. He raises one hand and helps, taking it off and tossing it somewhere behind me. He then pulls his moustache and mop off and repeats the movement.
His eyes glow. And I’m done. Hook, line and sinker. Never in my life would I have ever predicted I would feel like this. I risk a crooked smile but Noah doesn’t return it, he just slowly scans my face. Hungrily. Like he thinks he will never see me again. One of his hands raises to caress my jawline, his thumb rubs over my bottom lip teasing it. As my lip pulls down, I taste the tip of his finger with my tongue. Maybe it’s the wrong thing to do because he pulls back sharply as I feel a tremor pass through his body.
I bite my lip, so far out of my out of my comfort and knowledge zone. The three voices in my head start to shout out different opinions.
And then it happens. His soft lips are on mine. At first, I’m paralysed, the three voices disappearing as I work out if I like this or not. Happens I do, a lot, so I start ‘trying’ to copy his movements and before long the softness has turned into something else. Something I don’t even have to think about because I’m feeling it.
Sometimes at home we wait outside and watch the storm clouds fill up to capacity, dark blue and black, then they just seem to split. At this moment Noah and I are two storm clouds... splitting. Letting everything go. My hands move to his hair and I can’t help but tug him closer to me, our soft explorative kisses turn wild.
His lips are amazing. His hands move over my back and through my hair. I love how his arms feel around me.
I feel wild now. Exhilarated, intoxicated. I also I feel... something very strong rise. And I like it. Revel in it. I try to let him feel that emotion. He gasps into my mouth and presses me closer, drawing my legs tighter around him.
We are both breathing raggedly when we pull away to lean our foreheads together. And even though I’m fired up like a lightning rod, I start to giggle. He raises an eyebrow.
“If only Angel knew that the way to get your attention was to just break you out of the cop shop,” I look at him smiling, my legs still wrapped around his waist.
“It wasn’t the breaking me out, it was the beard that really did it for me,” he replies dryly tugging off a random hair from my cheek.
“I knew it,” I poke him in the chest. “I saw your utter disappointment when I started to yank it off.”
“You crushed my dreams. I desperately wanted my first kiss to be with a girl wearing a beard,” he drawls leaning forward to kiss me again. First kiss?
“Was that really your first kiss, too?” I ask my voice taking on a rather quiet tone after getting breathless once more.
“Yup,” he smiles crookedly before looking at me intensely. “And I can pretty much state that you will be the first and last girl I will ever kiss. Those bushy eyebrows are a serious turn on. No one else could match that.”
“You are going to love the job date I’ve got planned tomorrow since you love cow bum hair so much,” I slide down his body reluctantly because my side is killing me. I curse it because this is a seriously epic moment here.
“Job date,” he shakes his head. “I didn’t know there was such a thing.”
“Angus and Dell have job dates,” I frown. Had I said it was a date before or did that just come out?
“What does cow bum hair have to do with milking again?” he chuckles pulling me close to him.
“Harry doesn’t own any dairy cows remember?” I gaze up at him with an evil smile. He kisses the tip of my nose.
“Speaking of bums, look at Amber’s,” he nods behind me and I turn to find the beard and moustache adhered to her rump. Amber is desperately trying to dislodge it. She’s curled around like a dog trying to chase its tail. I grab them off her and stick it to my saddle cloth. “I better keep that in case I need some leverage.” I waggle my eyebrows.
He sticks the moustache on there as well before I pull her gear off.
Noah walks stiffly over to Peanut and puts his hands on the saddle, lifting the flaps and fingering the girth unsure of how to get it off. After I show him, he lifts it off and stows it near Amber’s. I let them go in an area I roped off earlier with some hay. I’m not sure how good Peanut is at staying around a camp and since it’s so close to the cliffs, I’d rather not wake to find him on the rocks. I’d literally die if anything happened to Amber.
“My bum is dead numb,” I hear Noah groan. “How do you ride all day?”
“Maybe I should have just dropped you off at the main prison,” I wink at him, waggling my eyebrows once more. “Since you’re numb and all that, provide you with a dose of preventive experiences.”
We sit on a large rock with our legs dangling over the edge, looking at the darkening sea. His legs are almost touching mine, which makes me grin because he started off about a foot away slowly shuffling to close the gap. Once I slid down him, he went back to his ‘have to have some distance’ self.
“Two-minute noodles never tasted so good,” he lifts his fork high and lets them drape into his mouth. His mouth that I kissed! I still can’t believe it, and every time I think about it; my shoulders seem to rise along with the crazy happy feeling in my stomach. And Seth said first kisses weren’t great. I wonder how Seth is, he’s doing pretty well at ‘never talking to me again’. I’m sure his whole anger issue will fade soon though. I hope.
Noah turns to me. He seems to do that a bit, just to look at me and then smile. And that smile that he gives me makes me feel weird and tingly. It should be illegal to smile like that.
“Pop always raves on that prisoners cost almost a hundred grand each a year, so I’m sure you would have had better meals than two-minute noodles,” I give him a deadpan expression. He’s not going to fool me into cooking with some blatant lie of a compliment.
“So, your Pop would have approved of you breaking me out to save the economy?” he making funny lines swerve on his forehead, now free of any mop strings.
“For sure, although he would have probably liked me to get a good handful of prisoners labouring on nearby farms or something while I was at it,” And Pop would have. He hates thinking of people just sitting around in cells draining taxpayer’s money, he believes non-dangerous prisoners should be working on making our country a better place. Because ‘working gives you a better attitude’ and that they should ‘earn some self-respect doing their time.’ Pop is as full-on about that topic as Dad is on Aussie farmer support.
“I would have waited while you got your chain gang into gear,” he replies making me chuckle.
I dangle a noodle down from above and suck it into my mouth. “There’s always Monday, I guess. I like to have reasons not to go to school, and I do have my pri
soner help for tomorrow.”
I wink at him, but he just stares at me again. Like he won’t see me again or something.
“Av,” and I see his Adam’s apple bob. When Jordan’s does that it means he feels guilty, normally over some piece of machinery he’s transformed and just found out Dad or Angus needed it. “Av,” double repeat of the name. What? Is he going to say he’s sorry he kissed me? A tightness spreads in my stomach. I will literally punch him if he says that because he bloody didn’t feel ‘wrong’ when it was happening.
“I can’t thank you enough for getting me out, I was about to make a.... well, kind of had, made a bad decision, but Thornie, you can’t stay in the bush on the run with me. You need to go live your life. I can’t go back to Harry’s with you tomorrow. What if they catch me there, and then you get in trouble?”
He looks so severe in his thoughts that I just gape at him, trying to comprehend the absolute relief bubbling through my gut. I start to laugh, I guess I better tell him the truth about his ‘break out’ now.
“God, you’re half infuriating,” he pushes to his feet. “I’m trying to keep you out of trouble, and you think it’s a joke. Av, you broke me out of the police holding cells. You’ll be put in there yourself if they find out!” He bends down and grabs my shoulders. “Av, stop, please. If you get caught and I do, there’s no way I’ll see you again. That is the last thing I want to happen.”
“Hm, Hmm. Let me get this straight, young lady,” I say in my best cop voice. “You want to pay Noah Reed’s bond so he can go free - which normally means out the front door with no hassles - but you want to pretend to break him out of the cell? Are you on drugs?”
Noah frowns. “What?”
“Didn’t you find it funny that you were moved to the old cells they were renovating?” I chuckle.
“No,” he starts to rub his sizeable biceps, my eyes follow the movement in appreciation. “The cop said they were moving me because it was going to get too full and to move me away from a cellmate’s bad influence. Are you saying the cops were in on this whole thing?”
Avalon Expandable Heart: The Wild Heart Series Page 8