“I just remembered,” I puff out letting my shoulder’s drop. “It’s annoying. I could have used it well tonight. After dinner of course.” I wink at Noah.
Confusion and amusement are fighting off the impending ice age in Noah’s eyes. Hehe. He blinks at me again.
“Av,” Jill whispers. “A lady can never forget her mm mmm. It’s attached, permanently and you should never mention size.” She moves closer and puts a hand to my forehead. “Are you alright, darlin’? You feel quite warm.”
“Periods,” I say yet again. I feel like I should just wear a shirt. Coping with the vengeful womb straight from hell, approach at your own risk... unless you’re a horse.
Suddenly, Jill becomes all business-like. “Right, you guys come in, I’ll fix you something to settle that tummy of yours, Av, and then we’ll start.” She bustles off after pointing us to a long, grey, comfy looking lounge. I sit first, Noah stands flexing his hands, the door becomes a beacon to his darting glances.
“Sit, she’s fine. You were there the other night at the bonfire. This is her dream. Her husband is some mega-lawyer now and she gave up her career to support him. She’s worked on all his cases, she knows what she’s doing, and she still has kept current. She just hasn’t been the one talking in the courtroom, she’ll be awesome, you watch,” I nod, believing every word. Jill is one that Sam never has to push, she pushes herself, she’s just got to see the opportunity.
“I’m still reeling over your mega va- va- thingy comment,” he coughs sounding half strangled.
My face settles into its evil mastermind grin, “Just a bit of payback I’m concocting for the sender of those photos that caused you to make the ...umm, how do I say this nicely? Oh yeah, the stupidest choice ever.”
Noah mouth twitches and resembles Mangles when Harry catches him grabbing a snag off the barbie. “I’m so sorry, Av, hey?” He sits close enough to place his large hand on my stomach again as I lean back on the lounge.
“Nan always said that we shouldn’t regret our choices just learn from them. If we always regret them and rethink them over and over and over, we’ll never see what’s happening in the present to learn from our experience. So, don’t sweat it. I forgive you; I just don’t forgive her. Mostly on D’s behalf but... just going to show her that when you play with fire and sometimes you get burnt.” I smile and close my eyes at his touch. “Kind of meld past and present together for an educational practice.”
“Now that you mention playing with fire,” Noah starts, a strange tone tingeing his voice. I open my eyes to study him, his green ones are studying me right back. Eyes do strange things to my insides especially when they gaze at me like his are now. “One of the questions I was going to ask you? I probably should ask you it now, because we may not get to have a real dinner.”
I should feel nervous like the girls said I would. But I don’t. I feel right, content. I want to be with him. As the quietness lengthens, I start to feel the buzz of the locusts testing their wings against my stomach walls. “I’m almost tempted to jump the gun and just blurt out ‘Yes!’”
He rubs a hand over his bicep as he turns away from me, “I wanted to know if you would come with somewhere where you’ll... you’ll kind of get to see a side of me that you probably... won’t like.”
The locusts stop dead, antennas alert and so do I. I run over his words again. A side of him I probably won’t like?
“Oh no! Don’t tell me you like clothes shopping?” I ask him appalled.
His head whips around to mine all scrunched up before he laughs. “Is that the worst thing you can think of that someone could enjoy doing?”
I cross my arms, “Yes and pleeeease. Wait until you meet my mother! I like food shopping though.” I turn to him suddenly appeased with shopping. “Tell me it’s food shopping! Bags the one being pushed in the trolley!”
He shakes his head as he laughs. His laugh is so husky and gravelly that it gives me the shivers. “It’s not anything to do with shopping. It’s something I like doing though, well... more like something I need to do. If I don’t do this I... I don’t know what I’d end up doing. I wanted you to come so you know what type of person I really am, Avalon. Who you are getting close to.”
I fight not to roll my eyes, as he’s serious about whatever this is, I feel like he’s gone back to the whole I’m a monster thing. “I’m pretty sure a guy that makes huge smiley faces out of Mooves, brings my cranky horse green frogs and sticks his hand in a cow because I ask him to is not the black-hearted monster he likes to think he is. I’ll go to whatever it is, and you’ll see, even if it is bloody clothes shopping, I’ll live with it. Actually, I’ll be fine with it and I’ll even damn well have fun doing it with you, just don’t call me Avalon.”
He looks sceptical and pulls at his ear-lobe.
“Noah, if you’re black-hearted, I’m heartless.” Noah always thinks of me in amazing ways, the video just proved it. He’s seen me ... “You’ve seen me cut some bloke’s fingers off for crying out loud.”
“Here you are!” Jill places a steaming cup of smelly stuff in my hands. “Drink it, Avalon.”
“See?” I grimace at Noah. “See? She’s got a commanding voice. You’re in good hands, she’s got a good chance of just scaring the crap out of the judge.”
And like that he’s back to being... wary. He’s staring at Jill like he’s assessing her or something. I was joking, but something about Noah has gone back to deadly. Does he really think I’m worried? He watches closely as I raise the cup to my lips, I drain it with a smile.
“Hey! That was drinkable. When Daryl concocts something smelly and meant to ‘help us’ we try to hold it in our mouths and run to the loo quick as.” I feel the warmth swirl in my belly and my eyelids start to weigh down. My mouth savours the remaining buttery, caramel taste.
“It’s a mix of herbs for your pain,” Jill smooths my hair back like she probably would a daughter. It would feel nice to be loved like that from a mother. I smile at her and wonder about whether her daughter and her are on good terms. I know she mentioned the husband was very controlling and the kids were often on ‘his side’ due to fear of being cut off. I thank her again for her brew, my voice trying to say a whole more thanks than just for that. Noah seems to relax, I’m not sure why but when he turns his gaze back to Jill, there is no coldness in it. I smile again before I let my eyes close.
“Wake up, Thornie,” I feel strong hands envelop my body and crack my eyes open to find I’m snuggled up to Noah like I do with Amber, my head under his armpit. He’s smiling and, in his eyes, resides a bit of something new. I glance at Jill who looks surprisingly fierce. There’s a fire in her eyes and a savageness in her smile.
I understand that kind of smile, I know exactly what it means. She’s ready to fight for him and is confident in her approach. She feels the fire. While for me it may be in the form of physical activity, Jill has mental readiness sparking from her like an electrical wire flopping around in a puddle. It heats me and I send my own fiery grin back at her, whatever she needs I will give it.
This is what that guy on the farm saw when everyone came to stand by him. Fire. The fire that gets stirred up when you’re protecting one of your own. I feel so proud of not only Jill for getting riled up in the way that works for her but for Noah for stepping outside of his comfort zone and speaking to her. For trusting someone.
I beam at him as he holds out his hand, he hesitates before grinning back. I take his hand and almost scream when he pulls me to my feet. Blood trickles over my tongue from where I’ve bitten the insides of my cheek. The combination of herbs and heat from Noah had numbed the pain in my side enough for me to forget it.
“Ah, cramp,” I blunder while tensing my stomach muscles to stop the sensation of my body about to fall apart. “Can I use your bathroom p-please, Jill?”
She points the way and tells me there’s Panadol in the first drawer. I can’t go to the toilet even though I feel I need to. It’s annoying, maybe I’ve
drunk too much water. I take two Panadol. I want to splash water on my face, but I don’t want my Indian paint to run.
I don’t often look at myself, but I find I can’t stop staring. My eyes look beyond wild now and very blue beneath the painted lines, the dark circles below them have darkened the red paint even more. I almost seem pallid under my tanned skin. God, if Nat were to see me now, I’d be in huge trouble.
Closing my eyes, I stand up straight, rising to my full height. I tell myself I’m okay. I will the pain away. I focus on what Noah thinks is going to be the deal breaker and open my eyes to find a smile over my face. Unless he’s going after Seth or Sam it will be fine. I am fine. I am strong.
Noah slows down in an area that would be freak the hell out of me if I were alone. I’m not scared of the dark or anything, having probably slept outside more than I’ve slept inside but this place is creepy. The old derelict structures providing too many hiding places. Nightmares seem to creep to life in every shadow.
I turn to clutch at Noah’s presence and find his green eyes studying my reaction. “You don’t like it here?” He states his mouth tense.
I run my hands over my arms, trying to soothe the goosebumps. Pop has told me too many stories about war to like dark places where you can’t see everything. I feel vulnerable. I know my own land, I know by the feel and sounds what things mean. I know nothing here and am off balance. Or maybe I just feel off balance without Amber or Nathan by my side. My fingers run over the bumps of my knife.
“Umm, I’ve ruled this out as my next sleepover site. Thanks.”
Noah chuckles, “It suits its purpose. Come on, Thornie, come see the reeeeeeeeeeeeal me.” His eyes darken and he looks bitter. He hands flex causing his muscles to bunch.
“You should’ve got a torch and put it under your chin when you said that, it would have given it a more frightening edge,” I roll my eyes. “You keep trying to push this other side of you, like it’s going to make me run. I’ve said before, boofhead, you’re looking at someone that has one helluva dark side too. It doesn’t phase me, the only person it phases is you. And if you think about that, that says a great deal about you, doesn’t it?”
He frowns as he thinks about my words. Noah is definitely like one of those horses that when approached the right way would cross a raging river or go to their legs gave out. He has a huge heart, he’s just got to let it pump.
Whatever Jill gave me has really helped my stomach pain; my sides aren’t feeling like they are slowly unknitting my muscles from my bone either now. He takes my hands making me smile as we walk without speaking through this boneyard of rotting buildings. I can see him glance at me every now and then.
After a few minutes, I can hear other people and I tense, again running my hand over the bulge of my knife hidden by the soft Indian pants. Noah may believe he’s the monster but if someone comes for us, I’ll be asking questions after I gut them.
“I’ve never seen you this jumpy,” he wraps a big and heavy arm around my shoulders. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Av. Trust me.”
“I trust no white man,” I say in my best Indian accent.
Noah cracks up causing talk in the darkness around us to pause. “Av, you do know that you’re dressed as an American Indian not a poppadum Indian?”
“What’s a poppadum Indian?” I ask him, happy that he’s smiling again.
“The ones that eat those chip things on TV, you know? Bollywood people,”
“You watch Bollywood?” I’m thrown.
Noah grimaces and looks to the heavens. “No, it’s an ad for cooking them, argh, don’t worry. The last thing I need to be thinking about how to explain what poppadums are. Let’s go in so we can eat one after this.”
I dead stop. His eyes snap to mine.
“I won’t move unless you do the poppadum ad you’re talking about,” I try not to grin at the frustration that flits over his face.
“Avalon,” he tries with a dark voice.
I wait.
“Ugh. Fine,” he takes a deep breath and launches into this craziest sounding speech. By the end of it, we are both in tears. I’ve never heard anyone speak like that, ever. He shakes his head and pulls me to him, kissing my hair. “Your strangeness is rubbing off on me, Thornie,” he growls.
“Never been one for the norm,” I lean up and kiss him on his rough cheek. He stares down at me in the dark, sometimes when he looks at me he gets this set about his face. The light hits his cheeks bones making him seem badarse. I like it.
More and more people are coming from nowhere, it’s like a movie where there’s a fire in the sewer and rats comes from every nook and cranny. When we get to what, I guess, is our destination I see the crowd is huge, and under a dim light, I can perceive people from every walk of life.
“I think you’re the only little Indian here,” Noah whispers against my ear, making little shivers run down my back. I’m not a lover of crowds at all, not this big and not in this place. I’d go if it weren’t for him.
“Reed!” a voice booms from somewhere above us. “Come right in.”
Noah threads our way through the crowd, many people clapping him on the back and telling him to kill it tonight. My brain starts working, happy to deal with anything but the pain returning with a vengeance, my stomach feels bloated and sore, the sloshing of water and tea making me want to hurl. I turn and look around, throngs of people surround a huge cage, a blood splattered mat squats in the middle.
Just as we make it past another massive guy who directs Noah somewhere, I hear myself ask, “So you’re fighting, right?” but my voice sounds like someone else is asking.
Noah stops dead and turns to me, worry splashed through his features. He holds my chin softly in his large hands. “I am, Av. I want you to see me fight, just how ... just watch and make your choice. But know, I won’t hurt you ever, no matter what.”
I stare around taking in everything, every aspect. My heart beats funny because I’m literally standing in my best mate’s dream, I’m here able to gain info for him on how it all happens. My eyes feel huge as I absorb.
“Shit, Av,” Noah grabs my face in his hands. “We’ll leave, I’m sorry. I thought that...”
“Shush,” I place my finger on his lips. “I’m trying to soak everything in to tell my brother. It’s like I’m standing in his dream scenario right now. I must get everything right. “
“What?” Noah stares around at the dingy surrounds like I’ve half lost my mental capabilities.
“Nathan, he would fricken’ love this. Can I use my phone to film it? Who fights? Do you know who you’re fighting? Can I bet? Can I stand right near the ring? Can I help? Are you allowed to tag? Do you have to tag?” My brain has already started imaging Nathan in that ring in total heaven, me watching like a hawk for any chance to aid like smashing his opponent with a chair or something or jumping on his back like a monkey blinding him. I’m not sure if Nathan were getting beaten I would stay on the outer. Actually, I’m dead sure I wouldn’t be able to.
“What?” Noah flinches making me snap out of my visions. “No! This isn’t world wrestling, Av. It’s fricken knockout and no rules. Fuck! I didn’t think this through, I’ve been half basing you off the girls in the crew. Av, promise you will stay where I put you.”
“As long as it’s right at the front, you have a deal,” I pull my very best puppy dog eyes at the same time thinking that if Noah looks like he’s going down, I’ll be doing my best to reverse that situation.
Noah stares at me for a full minute, I can see him weighing his choices.
“I have my knife,” I say helpfully.
“You’re right, Thornie,” he says in a low voice his forehead close to mine. “I’m not the nightmare.” He can’t help it he breaks out in a smile which I return with a grin and leads me toward the ring.
UNFAIR FIGHT
Avalon
Noah stands behind me close enough that we can talk while we watch the first three fights. His warmth feels
fantastic against the fork rotating against my insides. I’m glad I’m here, with this distraction, instead of reeling from the horrible internal sensations. The fights are great because they are pretty even and they have a guy in the cage with them, I’m sure if Noah is up against guys like this it will be an exciting fight to watch. Noah whispers in my ear during the third fight that he has to go warm up, to stay where I am. I nod and keep watching the fight. I’d put money on the smaller, faster guy.
He wins and I pocket my winnings with a grin, after, of course, putting some money on Noah. Nathan is going to love this when he gets here.
The noisy crowd goes silent when the guy on the microphone starts talking about the major bout and when they call Noah’s name, although here, he’s just known as “The Mute”. I turn to watch him come down from where he was warming up, I had tried to keep my eyes averted because watching him go through his moves turned my insides inside out. In a nice way but it feels strange. He winks at me as he stalks through the people jostling to get out of his way, I notice the women hesitate when they extend their hand towards his shirtless back, pulling their limbs back safely just before contact. I wonder what he has done previously to a feminine hand that had touched his skin to warrants those pullbacks.
He jumps into the cage and studies me for a second, again, checking if I’m safe. I roll my eyes at him before motioning a I’m ready to scalp action. He doesn’t look to appeased, a small frown tugging on his lips.
They call the next guy and my jaw drops. Something different comes over the audience, the atmosphere changes as if everybody is holding their breaths. A few boo’s permeate the air and some beer cans are thrown against the cage, splattering their contents over Noah and the other guy that is now dominating the enclosure. The amber liquid swirls with the fresh blood from the previous fights and turns pinkish. I feel like chucking some Dettol on the floor, Daryl has a real thing about touching other peoples’ blood and for the first time, I’m I total agreement. I don’t want Noah to be near the stuff. The man behind me leans over my head to grab and shake the cage.
Avalon Expandable Heart: The Wild Heart Series Page 14