Dasha straightened and turned to look at Shaun, her expression grim. It was that look that made Shaun viscerally aware of how vulnerable she was. She was inside the mansion of a crime family. They could do anything to her and not a damn person would stop them. She’d been a complete idiot to enact a half-formed plan that was doomed to fail from the start. She should have waited, lulled them into thinking she was reconciled to her situation and then found a fool-proof way of leaving. Instead, she’d acted on impulse and fear.
“Jozef doesn’t get angry.” Dasha continued to empty shopping bags. “He uses cool logic in everything he does. If he decides to put a bullet in your head, he’ll do it calmly.”
Shaun’s mouth went dry and it took real effort to stiffen her spine so she wouldn’t collapse to the floor. She couldn’t handle the constant adrenalin rushes razing through her body. They were making her slow and sluggish. She needed to stay as calm as possible so she could think on her feet.
“I’ve seen him angry,” she told Dasha, reaching out to fold a shirt from the pile of clothes gradually growing bigger.
Dasha stopped and looked at Shaun, a frown creasing her perfectly plucked and coloured eyebrows. “I’ve never seen Jozef get angry, or much of anything else. Not even when Krystoff was taken. I’ve long suspected his ability to feel emotion has been damaged. The day Jozef’s parents were murdered, his heart froze along with any feelings he had.”
Dasha was wrong. Shaun had seen a variety of emotions in Jozef. It seemed odd to her that she could pick out the emotions of a man she barely knew, and his own family couldn’t.
Shaun pulled the stretchy fabric of a skirt between her fingers. “But he loves you and the rest of the family. I could tell by sharing one meal with you.”
Dasha shrugged. “Sure, he loves us, but he doesn’t express it. No love, no fear, no anger, no feelings.”
“When we were… when he…” she paused, trying to find a delicate way of telling the man’s aunt that he’d shot someone point blank in the head and then turned the gun on Shaun. Dasha waved her hand impatiently as if to tell Shaun to get on with it. “When he was trying to get me to patch someone up, he seemed really angry when I refused.”
Dasha stared at her with speculative eyes. “What do you mean by angry?”
“Uh…” Though she didn’t want to, Shaun forced herself to remember the interaction. “He pushed me down and got right in my face. He was frowning and signing so fast I couldn’t follow what he was trying to say, but I got enough that I understood he was angry with me for refusing. Then, after he’d… killed the person, he seemed angry again when he put the gun to my head.”
“You can speak sign language?” Dasha asked sharply, her expression melting from concern to understanding.
Shaun nodded, surprised Dasha didn’t know. She tried to remember if she’d used sign language in front of Krystoff and realized she hadn’t. The aunt and uncle had no idea that Shaun could easily communicate with their nephew when most other people couldn’t.
Dasha seemed to absorb what Shaun was saying, before turning back to the pile of clothes, shoes and toiletries on the bed. She picked out a few items and handed them to Shaun. “Change into this.”
As Shaun changed, Dasha rushed around the room, tucking Shaun’s new clothes and toiletries away. Shaun thought it was a strange activity to engage in at a moment that felt very dire. The outfit Dasha chose was comfortable and flattering, but then, all of Shaun’s new clothes were flattering. She pulled on a pair of bright flower-patterned leggings and a black silk shirt that fit loosely but had a low enough neckline to show hints of Shaun’s cleavage.
“And these.” Dasha tossed a pair of nude ballet flats onto the floor next to Shaun.
Shaun slid them onto her feet, completely confused as to why she needed to change in such a hurry but unwilling to cause a fuss. She was also quite grateful to be able to slip out of the skimpy silver dress that she’d still been wearing. She assumed someone had paid for the expensive gown before they left the shop in such a rush.
A sharp knock on the door made both women look up. Dasha rushed to the door and opened it a crack.
“He’s in the driveway,” the butler told Dasha.
“Thank you, now please go back to your duties,” Dasha said briskly, already closing the door in his face.
She looked at Shaun, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. Finally, she seemed to come to some kind of conclusion. She strode over to Shaun, took her hand and indicated they should sit together on the bed. Dasha retained a tight hold on Shaun’s hand, sitting it on her lap.
“Listen carefully and do everything I say.” Her words spilled out in a rush and her eyes were glued to the door. “You do everything he tells you promptly and without argument. Don’t bother to apologize for trying to run away, he won’t accept it. In our world, apologies are about as good as rats. If you have to apologize for something, then you shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”
“I wasn’t planning on apologizing,” Shaun said quietly. “I’m not sorry I tried to run away.”
Dasha nodded her approval. “Good girl, he’ll respect you more for that attitude. But keep it to yourself. Keep it all to yourself. He’ll do whatever he’s planning to do anyway.”
Shaun wasn’t so sure. After all, he’d pulled back after fully intending to shoot her in the head. She nodded her understanding anyway. “I’ll do as you say.”
Dasha squeezed her hand. “It’s for the best. My nephew has developed an attachment to you and I’ve never seen him care about anyone other than family. I dearly hope whatever feelings he’s developing will keep you safe.”
“Why do you care?” Shaun asked, trying to understand what Dasha could gain from helping her.
Dasha’s answer was simple. “We were asked to welcome you into our family. As our family is a small one that doesn’t grow often, I take that order seriously. You are one of us and I will try my best to protect you as I would any other member of this family.”
Shaun was floored by Dasha’s words, especially since she’d only known the woman for two days. “Thank you,” she said humbly, wishing she could do more to earn the loyalty Dasha was showing her. It shouldn’t matter to Shaun; Dasha was complicit in her abduction. Yet for some reason, she couldn’t think of the older woman as a kidnapper.
Dasha took Shaun’s chin in her hand and looked at her closely, then nodded her head. “You’re attractive, you’re smart and you can communicate with him. These are all points in your favour. Let’s hope it’s enough.”
Shaun’s mouth went dry. The way Dasha was speaking it almost sounded as though her life were in danger. Would Jozef really kill her for trying to escape? He had to know she’d try.
Dasha let go of Shaun and stood, stepping away from the bed. The door opened and Jozef strode inside, his eyes immediately zeroing in on Shaun. She stood, using the bed to keep her legs steady because she was shaking like a leaf under his stern stare. Dasha walked toward him, but his gaze didn’t waver from Shaun. Dasha stopped and touched his arm.
“Go easy,” she told him. “You knew she would try to run.”
Dasha left the room, taking all the warmth with her.
Shaun tried desperately to remember everything Dasha had told her, but it all fled as she raised terrified eyes to the mobster who was slowly crossing the room toward her. Shaun wanted to back away from him but there was nowhere to go unless she crawled across the bed. She stood frozen, even as he approached her until he was standing so close, she could smell the spicy scent of his aftershave.
The scent was very appealing to Shaun. She never wore any kind of perfume, body spray or even scented deodorant. It was against hospital rules. She was so used to the smell of disinfectant cleaning solutions and antibacterial soaps that when she found a scent appealing it really drew her. Despite the danger of the situation she wanted to close the distance between them, press herself against his body and bask in his scent.
She’d felt a conne
ction to him from the very beginning. They’d gone through several emotionally charged moments together and now they were bound to each other. It was a strange feeling. She was still terrified of him, still hyperaware of the danger of her situation, but a part of her wanted to be there, with him. Shaun was so used to taking control in the operating room that having it taken from her was a strange feeling, but not wholly unappealing.
He was standing very still, staring down at her, his expression smooth and inscrutable.
She lifted her chin. “I’m not sorry I did it.”
She wasn’t exactly going against Dasha’s advice. She wasn’t apologizing.
Jozef stiffened and his hand dropped to the holster at his waist. He wasn’t wearing a jacket so his holster was visible.
Shaun saw a splatter of blood on the cuff of his shirt. She didn’t think the blood was his, which meant he’d hurt someone since she saw him that morning. The idea made her shudder. She was so far out of her element with these people. Her entire world was geared toward preserving life, and now she found herself in the midst of a group of people who thought nothing of murder.
As his hand landed on the butt of his gun, Shaun lifted accusing eyes to meet his. “You promised you wouldn’t point a gun at me again.”
He didn’t move.
“If you shoot me, you’ll always know you broke your promise.”
He growled; a ferocious sound torn from deep in his throat. His hand snapped out so fast she didn’t have time to move out of the way. He gripped her by the throat and shoved her backwards onto the bed. She landed with a bounce, pinned to the mattress by his hand at her neck. She gripped his wrist with both of her hands as he kneeled on either side of her hips.
He squeezed until she could barely breathe and tears jumped to her eyes. She choked on a cough and struggled beneath him for a few useless seconds before forcing herself to calm down. She tried to breathe, slow and even, taking in as much air as she could.
His cold gaze didn’t leave her face. She could feel his struggle as he held her. The same struggle he’d had in the forest. Kill her, as he would kill any other witness, or allow her to live. Make her disappear or keep her locked up and force her to marry him.
She had to help him make the right choice.
Shaun took her hands away from his wrists and did her best to sign to him in the tiny space between them, using short, quick signals.
Please, I don’t want to die.
Chapter Nineteen
Jozef stared down at her, blinking until he was able to focus on her hands. She was saying, I don’t want to die, over and over. He’d had tunnel vision when he’d entered the room. From the moment Karl had told him of her escape attempt, all he’d been able to think about was getting to her, setting eyes on her. He didn’t know why, but he needed to make sure she was real and still under his care.
Once he saw that she was safe, the fury had set in. Like an inferno raging through his body, he hadn’t been able to douse the flames of his anger. He wanted to take hold of her, shake her, demand she tell him why she wanted to escape.
He knew exactly why she would want to leave. He’d be deeply surprised if she actually wanted to stay. She was everything he was not. Her life was so different from his that they never would have met in the normal course of things. Yet, Jozef had found her and taken her; now she belonged to him.
He wasn’t going to kill her. After that moment in the forest when he hadn’t been able to pull the trigger, he knew that he would never be able to follow through with killing her. She was safe from him. If he was being honest, she was safe from any other harm, too. He couldn’t stomach the thought of anything happening to her, but she did need a reminder of his possession.
He had to impress upon her that escape was impossible. She could harm herself in the attempt, and if she somehow succeeded, he could lose her. She was a highly intelligent woman who was used to thinking on her feet. After she’d mentioned Doctors Without Borders at the breakfast table, Jozef had googled the organization and discovered they worked all over the world in all kinds of conditions. Which meant she was more than capable of taking care of herself.
If he didn’t find a way to convince her to stay, he had no doubt that eventually she would figure out a way to leave that was far more effective than a dash through a dress shop.
He stood, dragging her off the mattress. She tried to sign something else to him, but he ignored her. He didn’t want to be swayed by her pleas. She needed to find out what could happen to her if she tried to escape again, which meant he had to come up with a punishment. He moved his grip from her neck to her arm as he thought about it.
The shed.
It was harsh, not meant for a woman, especially an innocent. The shed was an on-property prison where they took people for interrogation and execution. It was cold, dark and empty, but it wasn’t permanent. It wouldn’t hurt or kill her. Jozef could use the prison to show her what her alternative was if she refused to settle down.
He hoped it wouldn’t break her, but he had to do something. If she continued acting up, his uncle would pressure Jozef to get rid of her. As much as Krystoff loved his nephew, he wouldn’t allow Jozef to keep a woman who could bring down the family with the information she had on them. If Krystoff demanded Jozef take the girl out, then Jozef would have to make some tough decisions. No part of him wanted to go head-to-head with his family, but he couldn’t allow them to harm Shaun. She had to learn to behave, to follow their code.
He walked swiftly through the mansion, his grip on her tight enough to cause pain. She was no longer attempting to use sign language; now she was talking rapidly, her voice edged with hysteria as he dragged her.
“Please tell me where you’re taking me,” she begged him. “You promised not to kill me. Jozef, please!”
She tripped and almost fell. Using her arm, he swung her back up, but he didn’t break stride. She was going to have bruises up and down her arm tomorrow. He almost wished he could tell her it would be okay, that she needed to slow her breathing and relax, but he also needed her to be terrified. It was an impossible situation, not one he’d ever been in before. He hated treating Shaun badly.
Jozef dragged her through the kitchen and out the back door, startling the cook and his assistant. Shaun tripped over the steps and this time he allowed her to fall in the dirt. She lay on her side in a bed of crushed flowers, sobbing and curling into herself. Jozef knelt next to her, getting right in her face where she had no choice but to watch his hands.
Get up now.
The tears continued to fall while her breaths came out in frantic rushes. She was shaking so hard it was a miracle she didn’t collapse completely. Her pupils were dilated and unfocused. She wasn’t reading his hand motions but retreating into herself. She was having a panic attack. He hesitated to continue, worried about her mental state. He had no choice though; she had to learn what could happen if she tried to escape again.
He lifted her in his arms, cradling her against his body as he continued to walk with her through the perfectly manicured gardens. She curled into his chest, still crying, unable to focus on anything besides her own terror.
Jozef hardened his heart as he walked. This was the only way. The life of an organized crime family was a brutal one, and if Jozef wanted Shaun to be part of his world, he needed to toughen her up. Force her to fall in line.
They called the property’s prison ‘the shed’ because it looked like a large version of an old building where an estate gardener might keep his tools. The shed housed four cells: each a concrete room with a wooden pallet, a toilet, a sink and a thick metal door with a grate in it. Jozef hated the idea of taking Shaun to this building, but he carried on with his plan. He strode through the shed to one of the back rooms, one that he knew was cleaner and less drafty than the rest.
She clung to him as he attempted to set her down on the wooden pallet against the wall. It made his heart thump the way her fingers grasped hold of his shirt, the way she pressed
her face against him, wetting the fabric with her tears. His dick responded automatically, leaping to attention. This was a woman he'd been attracted to from the moment he set eyes on her. He never intended to take advantage of that attraction, but her long elegant fingers scrabbling against his skin and his shirt was doing things to him.
He took hold of her wrists, shackling them with his fingers and pulling her hands away from him. He crouched in front of her, trying to make eye contact. Tears flooded her beautiful golden-brown eyes, making them look bigger, almost luminescent. He transferred both of her wrists to one of his hands and used his thumb to try to wipe the tears from beneath her eyes. They were quickly replaced by more tears.
Finally, when he thought she was calm enough to listen, he dropped her hands and lifted his own.
You will stay here for the night, he signed to her.
She sniffed loudly and turned her head to the side to wipe her nose against the sleeve of her shirt. Her eyes drifted around the room as if only now realizing she was inside a building. Gradually, as her brain caught up with her eyes and she realized where she was, what the room was used for, terror replaced curiosity.
"Please don't leave me here," she begged him, reaching out for him again.
Jozef jerked to his feet and stepped away from her. If those soft hands landed on his skin one more time, he would be putty in her hands. He wouldn't be able to resist the lure of giving her whatever she asked for. Her sweet voice, her goodness, everything about her was the opposite of him. He wanted her so badly he was tempted to take her right there on the wooden pallet.
But that wouldn't be fair to her. That would be a brutal and abrupt introduction to his world, one that she might not be able to forgive. He needed to keep his head, give her time to adjust and teach her how to acclimate to the Koba empire.
Sin of Silence (Sinner's Empire Book 1) Page 12