Jozef lived somewhere between worlds. He had to be as harsh, brutal and unfeeling as the rest of his contemporaries if he wanted to stay on top of the game. Any weakness would make him a target. Drugs and alcohol were rampant but he limited himself to the occasional drink, joint, or line of coke.
He gazed down at Shaun who was curled on her side, pressed against his leg, her head tucked into his hip. He shifted until he was leaning over her and able to see more of her lovely face. He brushed his fingers down her ebony cheek and over her plush lips. She was so beautiful it made him ache. It wasn’t her outward beauty that captivated him, though she was certainly attractive, but her inner glow. It radiated out of her as an energy filled with kindness and purpose.
She epitomized everything he couldn’t be, but he was discovering he wanted in his life. He wanted to put her personality in a jar and keep it with him, so he always had her, even when they were apart. He knew keeping her was selfish. He could have found a way to keep her alive and let her go. He could put her on an airplane back to Canada right now and she would be safe on the other side of the world. Safe from him. Safe from his family.
He wouldn’t do it. Selfishly, he wanted to keep her forever. He wanted to hold onto everything that made Shaun special. He couldn’t bring himself to let her go. They’d only known each other a week, but he was captivated. He could feel his world shifting irrevocably and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.
“Hey.”
Jozef looked down. She was blinking sleepily up at him with a quizzical look. He must’ve woken her when he touched her cheek. He looked at her, wanting to tell her to go back to sleep but not wanting to stop touching her to make the signs.
She wiggled against him and closed her eyes, sighing deeply. He thought she went back to sleep, but then she spoke, her voice quiet and serious, “What does it feel like to kill someone?”
Jozef froze at the unexpected question. Her eyes were open now, and she tilted her head so she could look at him. Her gaze was curious rather than accusing. Jozef thought about what to say. Did he tell her the truth, or did he tell her something that might make her feel better? Did he know her well enough to know what she might find comforting?
Maybe it was good that she knew about him, knew how rotten his soul was. She should know exactly who she would be marrying. And if she didn’t like it, she would have to learn to live with it, because she wasn’t going anywhere.
Jozef twisted until he was half facing her and she could clearly see his hands. She lifted her head off the pillow to watch as he signed. I was sixteen when I became Krystoff’s enforcer. I was young, cocky, full of myself. I had this friend, another young guy, M-A-X, who worked the streets with me. He was one of our recruiters. We grew close. Played video games together, worked together, partied together. I ate meals at his house, prepared by his grandmother. I took their food and their friendship.
“Oh god,” she whispered, as though she knew what was coming. He didn’t stop.
My friend started skimming profit. Krystoff’s accountant blew the whistle and I was charged with taking care of the matter. It was my job to put my best friend in the ground.
“Wh-what did you do?”
He shrugged. I pulled the trigger.
“Why?” she demanded angrily. “Couldn’t you have warned him, sent him away or something?”
He stared at her steadily and then shook his head. As the family dog, it is both my duty and my pleasure to enact the orders of my uncle. I am effective because I’m loyal to those who are loyal to me.
“Who are you to decide who deserves death and who doesn’t?” she sputtered, pushing away from him, her voice rising in anger. “You destroy families! What about his grandmother? You took away her grandson, someone she loved.”
Jozef took a deep breath to calm the pain her words were causing. They hit too close to home. You wanted to know how it feels to kill someone?
She nodded, her eyes golden pools of accusation.
I remember every face, every name, everything about them. I accept the pain I have caused their families and I take it into myself. With every kill, another piece of my soul is torn away. I kept track of M-A-X’s grandmother until the day she died. I made sure she was taken care of, sending food and money anonymously. I will never forget her face, nor the way she looked at me on the day of his funeral, knowing that her grandson’s killer was standing next to his casket.
“Then why do you do it?” she cried out.
It is my duty.
The stricken look on her face told him she either didn’t understand or she couldn’t accept his words. He didn’t want her to hate him, especially not after the moments they’d shared over the past several hours. He wanted to grab her and force her back to his side, force her to touch him willingly again. But of course, he couldn’t. He couldn’t reassure her, either. There needed to be truth between them.
This is the world I live in. There are no good guys or bad guys. Some people need to die, and in this family, it’s my job to make those decisions regardless of my feelings.
“I didn’t deserve to die,” Shaun cried out, her voice filled with the anger and trauma of their first day together.
Jozef’s heart ached for her. She was confused, hurt, scared, and he couldn’t be the one to reassure her. She was part of this life now and she needed to adapt. He reached out and took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.
No, you didn’t deserve to die.
“But you would’ve killed me!” Her voice broke on a sob.
He nodded solemnly. I would have done my job.
“Why didn’t you?” She swiped angrily at the tears that started to fall.
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his short hair. He thought about her question, thought hard, but he couldn’t come up with an answer. When he imagined the scene, he could see it clearly, as though it’d just happened.
He was in the forest clearing with her again, looking down his gun at her, his finger tightening on the trigger. Their eyes locked and she told him silently she would die with dignity. She would go into the afterworld with her head held high and no regrets. In the seconds between pulling the trigger and not, Jozef decided he needed that fierce spirit in his life. That he would not live with the regret of putting this spectacular woman in the ground. He would keep her.
I couldn’t pull the trigger, he finally told her.
“But why?” she demanded again, anger and passion colliding in one irresistible woman.
He gripped her head hard and gave her a little shake to show his frustration, then dropped his hands to sign, it doesn’t matter, let it go.
“It does matter!” she shouted, wiggling backwards, trying to put more distance between them. “I need to know what stopped you; I need to know it can never happen again. I have to know that you’ll never decide to change your mind.”
Her voice was edging toward hysteria and Jozef was caught between his own anger that she wouldn’t listen, that she was ruining their perfect moment, and his desire to calm her, to hold her and promise she never had anything to worry about.
He grabbed her by the waist and dragged her toward him.
This time she fought him, striking out and slapping his arm while flailing her legs. Jozef growled and rolled her underneath him.
He pinned her to the bed until all she could do was thrash inside the cage of his arms. He let her tire herself out until she went limp, glaring up at him.
Jozef tried to take her mouth in a kiss but she turned her head away. This annoyed him more than anything else she’d done so far. He didn’t care if she tried to deny him her body, her feelings, her words, but she would not be allowed to deny his kisses. This is where their intense spiritual connection merged with their physical bodies. Everything he needed to tell her but couldn’t was conveyed in a kiss.
He gripped her by the neck, yanking her head off the bed and slashing his mouth over hers in a rough kiss. She gasped as he attacked her lips with his teeth, forcing
his way into her mouth. She was too shocked to resist, and he took advantage by sweeping the dark recesses within over and over until she had to fight for breath.
He dragged the bathrobe open and squeezed her breast, rubbing his thumbnail over the nipple. Earlier he’d shown his caring side, bringing her to orgasm well before entering her and then carefully guiding her desire back up. This time he was going to show her his dark side. The mob enforcer who took what he wanted with no consequences. She would feel his power. She would know all of him and she would love it.
He reached further down her lithe body until he found her still slippery pussy, shoving two fingers deep inside without preparation. Her tight pussy fought him for a second then gave way as he thrust deep inside, found her g-spot and rubbed it hard. She screamed into his mouth as pain and pleasure collided and sparks went off all around them.
Jozef began to sweat as his cock leapt to life again, weeping at another opportunity to fuck this beautiful woman. She bowed on the bed, her body pressing up against his. The fit was tight, but he continued to slam his fingers in and out of her, swallowing her cries as they came closer and closer together. Before she could reach her orgasm though, he pulled his hand from her pussy, grabbed hold of her and flipped her over.
Confused and disoriented Shaun flailed on the bed and tried to push herself up on her hands and knees. Jozef gripped the bathrobe at the back of her neck and wrenched it off her. She gasped as she was dragged up onto her knees, then fell onto her hands again once he tossed the robe away. She looked at him over her shoulder, fear and excitement lighting her expression.
“Jozef…” she pleaded.
He slammed into her from behind, dragging her hips back as he thrust. She let out another scream and clawed at the blankets in front of her. Jozef took her with ferocious pumps, staking his claim in a way that she would never be able to question. He didn’t want her talking about how he'd almost killed her. He didn’t want her talking about STI’s and condoms. She was his. Period. No questions, no negotiation, no escape.
Shaun stopped fighting him and began rocking her hips back, primitive sounds of unbridled pleasure spilling from her lips. She was completely lost to him, exactly where he wanted her. He grabbed her hair, tangling his fingers in the curly mass and dragging her back for a kiss that was so passionate, so primal, his teeth cut her soft inner tissues, making her bleed.
He shoved her back down, pressing his hand against the small of her back as he approached his orgasm. His balls felt like they were made of steel, they were so tight, so ready to blow. He slammed into her, fucking himself dry as he shot his load deep into her body.
He didn’t remember hearing her come, so when he finished, he pulled out and replaced his cock with his fingers. She shouted as she instantly flew up into the embrace of an electric pleasure that could only come from having someone attack her g-spot. As he continued to slam his fingers in and out of her, he used the juices flowing from her body to ease the entry of his finger into her tiny asshole.
She tried to jerk away, but he caught her hips and dragged her back, slapping her ass hard enough to make it bounce and draw a shriek from her. She moaned as he slid his finger into an ass so tight, he’d bet his fortune it was virgin. Pleasure sizzled through him, making his tired cock sit up and take notice. This ass was his and one day soon he was going to take it.
“I’m coming!” she keened desperately.
Fluid washed over his hand as he continued to pump in and out of her. Her hips thrust back in unison with his hand while her ass spasmed around his finger, her orgasm setting off every nerve ending he was touching. She felt like silken fire in his hands and he couldn’t wait for her to recover enough to do it all over again.
As she collapsed to the bed, he climbed over top of her, took her jaw in his hand and shoved it to the side. He sank his teeth into her throat, biting her hard enough to break skin. She jerked, cried out tiredly and gripped his head as he sucked hard on her flesh, leaving his mark. When he finished stamping himself into her soft flesh, he moved his lips to her ear and let out a low possessive growl. She shivered against him and allowed him to gather her against his chest, tucking her into his side for the rest of the night.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Are you listening?”
Shaun looked up sharply, a guilty expression on her face. She had not been listening to Dasha; she’d been daydreaming about her night with Jozef. She shivered as she thought about it. He was so intense, so demanding, so different from any man she’d ever known. The sex was glorious and definitely something she wanted to try again.
Then guilt hit her like a fist to the chest. She was forgetting her situation, something that seemed to be happening more and more frequently as the days passed. Her mother must be frantic, devastated, sick with worry over her daughter’s disappearance. Shaun needed to concentrate on getting a message to Fatima, not daydreaming about her mobster fiancé.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured to Dasha. “My mind was drifting, what were you saying?”
Dasha gave her a sharp look. “I was saying that I think the colour scheme should be gold and black. Classic with a twist. We don’t want white or silver because obviously we want to save those colours for the wedding. What do you think?”
Dasha’s long, beautifully lacquered magenta nails flashed as she fanned out an impressive spread of colour samples across the coffee table in front of them. Shaun had managed to live 34 years without knowing that there were so many different shades of gold.
“Uhhh, that one.” She pointed at one of them.
Dasha frowned at the sample, picked it up off the table and held it a few inches from her face. “Are you sure? I think this one’s a little dark. It won’t complement the black. What about this one?” She picked up a lighter sample with a tiny amount of sparkle to it.
“It’s beautiful,” Shaun murmured, then smothered a yawn.
Dasha’s frown amped up a notch as she surveyed Shaun critically. “Are you okay, my dear? We can go over the samples this afternoon if you need a rest.”
Shaun wanted to point out that, no she was not okay, she was still the victim of a kidnapping. Also, she’d spent the entire night previous getting her brains fucked out by the woman’s nephew and was still a little fuzzy from the happy hormones.
Since neither response seemed appropriate for the Koba matriarch, she said, “I’m fine, thank you. It’s just that I have no experience with party planning and your decorating skills are stunning.” Shaun waved her hand around the sitting room where they were having their meeting. It was a combination of heavy woods, gold and beige trimming and the occasional pop of modern. Really, every room Shaun had visited so far had been a feast for the eyes. “I think this engagement party is better left in your capable hands. I will happily bow to your expertise.”
“Lovely, dear.” Dasha beamed at her and squeezed her hand. “You won’t regret this. A few years ago, I threw a 50-year anniversary party for the Baroness Von Grieger. European society is still talking about it. Never mind Leeza’s wedding. Now that was the event of the decade...”
Shaun checked out while Dasha described her daughter’s lavish wedding in meticulous detail over the next hour. Since it was impossible to get in a word edgewise, Shaun didn’t think Dasha would notice that she wasn’t paying attention.
Shaun sipped her tea which seemed to magically refill with hot tawny liquid before she could reach the bottom of her cup. The weird part was she couldn’t once remember seeing a servant. She suspected they were quick and stealthy, neither seen nor heard by the family unless called upon. In Montréal, Shaun had a housekeeper that came in twice a month to make sure she didn’t get too far behind on cleaning when she was working long hours.
“I think we’ll go with the choices of prime rib or salmon for the reception dinner with a vegetarian alternative. We’ll add roasted garlic rosemary potatoes, fresh greens and fresh-baked sweet buns. That should do for the Westerners, and we’ll serve vepřo-kned
lo-zelo, roast pork with dumplings and sauerkraut for the locals. Oh, I forgot to ask, do you have any dietary restrictions?”
Shaun blinked at Dasha as her brain kicked in to repeat the question. “No, nothing. I don’t eat a lot of red meat and I try to limit sugar and alcohol, of course.”
“Of course.” Dasha squeezed her knee. “You’re a doctor; you would know best how to protect your body.”
Shaun started to snort and cut it off so as not to offend Dasha. She clearly did not know how to take care of her body, as it had been through the wringer the past several days. She’d been kidnapped, pushed around, attacked with guns, accosted in a women’s washroom, and forced to sleep in a cold dank prison cell. She wasn’t doing awesome at taking care of herself, but most of that wasn’t her fault.
“I vote for the prime rib.” Saskia wandered into the room, though she’d clearly been standing near the doorway for longer. “With mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits and green beans smothered in fresh butter. Our English and American attendees will love it.”
Shaun decided to cast her vote for Saskia’s menu. It sounded amazing. “People will come that far for a last-minute engagement party?”
“Of course they will, we’re extremely rich, dear.”
Shaun had to smother a laugh. This was the second time Dasha had reminded her of the Koba wealth as though it should be perfectly obvious the family would get whatever they wanted.
Dasha turned the full force of her frown on her youngest daughter. “You shouldn’t eavesdrop; it’s not ladylike.”
Sin of Silence (Sinner's Empire Book 1) Page 18