You are a goddess, he signed, his hands flashing beneath the streetlight. Then he sank to his knee on the pavement. Shaun gasped as he reached into his pocket pulling out a jewelry box. Heart hammering, she shook her head in denial, wanting to beg him to put it away, to stop ruining the perfect moment they’d been sharing.
He didn’t put it away. He opened the lid to the box. A huge solitaire diamond in a white gold setting sparkled as it captured what little light filtered down from the overhead lamps. It was a silent, sinister reminder of Shaun’s place within a crime syndicate.
Jozef didn’t attempt to sign the question. He didn’t need to. There could only be one outcome in his mind; Shaun would become his wife.
Even as he took the ring from the box, dropping the velvet package to the street, Shaun shook her head in denial. “No.”
Jozef’s head came up swiftly and any warmth he’d been harbouring in his blue eyes froze to hard uncompromising chips. He stood, glaring down at her. Shaun tried to step away, tried to tug her hand from his grip, but his hold became painfully tight. If she continued to struggle, he could break her fingers. His gaze continued to capture hers as he shoved the ring onto her finger.
He looked past her and snapped his fingers. Shaun glanced over her shoulder as Havel strode from the shadows, announcing, “The car is on its way.”
Chapter Thirty-One
The drive back to the mansion was done in tense silence. Jozef stared broodingly out the window, his scarred visage flashing in the dim streetlights that they passed. Shaun didn’t know what to do with herself, so she sat as quietly as humanly possible, not wanting to draw attention. She didn’t know how to feel. Part of her was upset that she’d ruined their perfect night, even though she couldn’t possibly accept Jozef’s proposal.
The other part of her was angry at Jozef for pulling such a stunt. He had to have known what her answer would be. Didn’t he?
Maybe he didn’t. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, watching his frozen expression. He sat completely motionless as though lost in thought. Maybe he really did think Shaun would want to marry him. What in his experience had taught him otherwise? He was born and raised in a violent lifestyle with a cutthroat family. The violence and trauma of her abduction, when seen through his eyes, probably wasn’t as big a deal as it was to her. It was business as usual for the Koba enforcer.
What Jozef saw when he looked at Shaun was a woman he got along with, someone with an intelligent brain and a solid moral compass. A woman he was sexually attracted to, who was attracted to him as well. What seemed like an extraordinary set of circumstances to Shaun was Jozef’s every day. Well, she doubted he picked up a new fiancé every day, but the extremeness of the situation wouldn’t be too far out of his experience.
So, it was entirely possible Jozef would have expected a yes when he proposed.
He had no real understanding of Shaun, of her actions or reactions. She was too far out of his realm of experience. They were from two different worlds.
She was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice them turn into the long winding driveaway of the Koba estate until the vehicle came to a halt. She looked up, blinking in the gloom and glanced at Jozef who was already halfway out his door.
Shaun unbuckled her seatbelt and reached to open her door, but it was jerked from her hands. Jozef grabbed her arm and pulled her from the SUV, not waiting to see if she was clear before dragging her toward the house. His tight grip and the set of his shoulders told her he was angry.
“Jozef, stop it!” she gasped as she tripped on the pavement and nearly fell.
He paused only long enough to allow her to regain her footing before he pulled her into the house. Shaun blinked at the bright chandelier-lit interior of the foyer.
“Hey,” Saskia greeted them as they passed her in the hallway on their way to Jozef’s suite. She held a melting ice cream cone in her hand and her lips were smeared with chocolate. “How was your date night?”
Jozef ignored his cousin.
“Is everything okay?” Saskia asked, turning on the spot and watching with concern.
Shaun glanced over her shoulder but didn’t have time to answer.
Saskia’s concerned gaze followed the pair as they disappeared around a corner and entered Jozef’s wing of the house.
He pulled keys from his pocket and unlocked the door, shoving Shaun inside before following her. He closed the door with a bang and reached out to grab her, wrapping his fingers around her upper arm and swinging her around until she was shoved up against the hard wood.
They stared at each other for long seconds, then Jozef dipped his head, slanting his mouth over Shaun’s.
She pushed at his chest, but he was impossible to move.
He gripped her jaw, forcing her mouth open. The second his tongue was inside her mouth she slammed her teeth together. Jozef pulled back just in time.
“No, you do not get to kiss me without permission!” Shaun angrily wiped her mouth with her sleeve and glared at him.
He looked startled for a moment, as though only now realizing she hadn’t actually been participating in the kiss. Then his eyes narrowed, his expression hardening. He reached for her again, but Shaun slid sideways away from the door and backed away from him. He stalked her through the outer room until her back was up against the bedroom door. He stopped a few feet away and she breathed a sigh of relief. Then she realized he was only giving her space so he could communicate.
You don’t get to say no to me. I am law and order here. I take what I want.
“It this what you want?” she answered back, glaring at him. “You want an unwilling bride?”
Instead of answering the question he gripped her by the head and shoved her back against the door. Though he was taller than her at 6’3” she was tall enough that they were able to look each other in the eyes. He continued to hold her head, his fingers spanning her skull, but didn’t make any further moves. Shaun took the opportunity to attempt to reason with him.
“Is this the life you want? To get told who you have to marry based on one violent incident? This life of yours is dangerous. It’s brutal and it’ll eat away at you. What’s the life expectancy of a mobster? If I had to guess, you guys probably don’t die of natural causes.”
When he continued to silently stare at her, she pressed on, “You can’t possibly want to be forced to marry a woman you barely know. There’s still time to call this whole thing off.”
The words had barely left her mouth and he was kissing her again, his lips moving over hers, trying to coax a response. She shoved at him again, turning her face to the side.
“I said no.”
Jozef slammed his hand into the door over her head, shaking the thick wood with the force of his strike, then he dropped it to turn the knob, pushing her into the bedroom.
“Jozef, stop it!” she shouted as he reached for her new leather jacket, yanking it down her arms, trapping them at her side.
He shoved her backwards and she fell across the bed, unable to catch herself with her hands. He stood over her, his spread legs on either side of hers. He pointed down at her, using his commanding presence to intimidate her when he couldn’t use words. It worked. He looked utterly terrifying. His big body was tense, coiled and ready to spring. His expression was fiercely determined. The tattoos on his fingers and neck seemed suddenly much more sinister.
She was sharply reminded that she barely knew this man and could not reliably predict his moods. She wiggled her arms out of the jacket and pushed herself up until she was sitting.
Jozef’s expression said it all; her place in the Koba household was either going to be next to Jozef or under him. It was her choice. She stared back at him defiantly, refusing to drop her gaze. She wanted him to know that pushing her around and bullying her was unacceptable.
“No more, Jozef. I mean it.”
He growled angrily. You don’t get to decide when you’ve had enough, I do. I will soon be your husband; my wor
d is law. My actions are law.
Shaun hated everything about Jozef’s lifestyle. Hated his tendency toward autocracy and his ability to shrug off the brutality of his chosen profession. Despair washed over her as she acknowledged to herself that no matter how much she was growing to care about the man, she could never be with him.
“I can’t live like this.” She felt crushed as she looked up at him. “I need to be free.”
Her words seemed to anger him even more. He pointed at her, punching the air with his finger before signing, you don’t need to be free; you want to be free. There’s a difference. His lips twisted with scorn. You westerners have been spoiled. You hold freedom as an ideal, even above your own welfare. You can live a full life as my wife.
“As your captive wife,” she said sadly, realizing he wasn’t going to relent.
If need be, as my captive wife, he agreed.
“I refuse to participate in this farce.”
You have no choice.
They were at an impasse.
Shaun tried to roll away from him, determined to climb off the other side of the bed and put distance between them, but he grabbed her and flipped her onto her back, dragging her. She fought him as he started pulling her clothes from her body. She quickly realized his intention when he leaned far enough into her that she could feel his steel-hard cock through his jeans, pressing against her thigh.
Once again, they were speaking a different language. Nothing in Jozef’s experience had taught him that it was wrong to force a woman’s compliance, whereas Shaun had been raised with the truth that consent was everything and betrayal of that consent was life-altering. She had to somehow make Jozef see that it would be wrong to force her before he made her life with him completely impossible.
She grabbed hold of his face as he reached between them, his hand landing on her midriff and dropping to the button on her jeans.
“Please, listen to me.” His gaze met hers with angry challenge in their depths. She prayed that he felt something for her, anything. “If you do this, it will destroy anything we’ve managed to build since you took me. I won’t be able to look at you the same. You’ll always be the guy who… who… raped me. Is that what you want?”
He glared down at her, his body tense against hers. She felt the indecision and wondered if there was anything else she could say or do. She knew fighting him would prove useless, but if he pushed, she would fight with everything she had. She wasn’t going to have sex with him, not like this.
He continued to pin her to the bed, but moved back until he could sign, you already see the men I have killed when you look at me. Why should this be any different?
She thought about his question and tried her best to come up with an answer. “I don’t know, it just is. My body is mine, but if you take it in violence, I will change. I’ve treated enough traumatized victims that I know for sure I will be altered if you hurt me that way.” She paused and then added, “And I don’t see dead men when I look at you. I should, but I don’t.”
Jozef nodded, some of the tension draining from his body. He leaned over her, caging her in his arms. Shaun tensed in fear, but all he did was drop a kiss onto her lips before rolling to the side and stretching out next to Shaun. He glanced at her to make sure she was watching before he lifted his hands to sign.
You’re wrong about one thing. No one has the power to force me to marry. Not my uncle, not anyone. I’m marrying you because I want to.
Shaun smiled; she couldn’t help herself. The entire situation was beyond fucked up, but hearing him say that he wanted her, that he was choosing to marry her, somehow made everything a little better.
“Thank you for saying that,” she whispered.
Jozef grabbed her hand and waved it around, Shaun’s wrist flopping in the air. She laughed as he dropped it back onto the bed without ceremony.
I want you to use sign language only, he demanded.
Shaun raised an eyebrow at his highhandedness, then complied. Isn’t it easier for me to speak verbally? We can converse faster and more efficiently.
I don’t care about fast or efficient, he was quick to respond. I prefer to communicate this way. It feels… intimate.
Shaun knew what he meant because she felt it too. Like our own little bubble.
He nodded his agreement, then signed, talk to me, tell me about yourself.
What do you want to know?
Anything, everything. Just talk to me.
He loved to hear about her life and often made this request when they were in bed together.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Jozef rolled against her and covered her mouth with his hand giving her a stern look. She rolled her eyes and shoved his hand away.
Okay, okay, it’ll take me some time to adjust to non-verbal.
It really was going to take Shaun time to adjust. She’d been extremely rusty with her sign language before Jozef grabbed her. Though she was quickly relearning, she wasn’t entirely there yet. She did silly things like stopped breathing while she was signing. If Jozef wanted her to sign as much at it seemed he did, then she was going to have to learn to sign and breathe at the same time or risk passing out. Her mom used to gently make fun of Shaun’s inability to multi-task. She would shake her head and laugh that it seemed appalling that such a promising young doctor couldn’t even walk and chew gum at the same time.
Shaun realized she knew what she wanted to talk about. She would give Jozef what he wanted, insight into her life, while working on a way to reconnect with that life. She would talk about the life she left behind as a way to deal with her grief over losing it. She would talk about her mother.
Shaun pushed herself up into a sitting position and wiggled around on the bed until she was facing a reclining Jozef. She took a deep breath and started signing.
My mom’s name is F-A-T-I-M-A.
He nodded and signed back, I remember, you told me about her in the van.
While he was driving her into the woods to shoot her. Though the memory still made her heart beat faster, she was able to think of it without the icy fingers of terror stealing down her spine. She was impressed that Jozef remembered what she’d told him. At the time, he’d acted as though he hadn’t heard a word.
I’m half Iranian, which most people don’t know about me because I look more like my dad. My mom was born in Iran but moved to Detroit with her family when she was a child. She met my father while he was taking his residency in Detroit. After a few years they moved to Canada and got married. She’s really smart; she’s fierce and compassionate. She’s involved in all kinds of charities…
Chapter Thirty-Two
Their truce lasted less than a day. Shaun had spent a good part of their evening together telling Jozef all about her upbringing and her love for her family. He’d nodded in all the right places, his face softening as he listened to her. He even pulled her in for a hug when she told him of the devastating loss of her father. During their conversation, Jozef looked much less like a gangster and more like a man she would actually date.
So it came as a shock to her when he refused to listen to reason when she requested a phone call to her mother. He stood firm, his face a granite carving as she’d pleaded with him. He was unmoving though.
“But if she knows I’m alive, she’s much more likely to stop looking for me. I can’t know for sure, but if I know my mom, she’s pulling in every connection she and my dad had to try and find me. If even a single person in that hospital recognized you, she’ll be able to find me. Plus, you aren’t exactly low profile, going to clubs and flaunting a black woman among your predominantly Caucasian friends.”
Still, he refused to listen to reason. He did try to give her an explanation, but it only made her angry.
If your mother is anything like you, she won’t stop digging. Hearing your voice will only make her try harder to find your location. It would be cruel to give her hope when she can’t see you.
“What’s the big deal?” she asked
. “If I – ”
He cut her off by lightly slapping her mouth and grabbing her hands, waving them in the air. Far from thinking it was a cute gesture, as she’d done the night before, it enraged her. She shoved him, but he didn’t move, which forced her to take a step back.
She growled her frustration, then took a deep breath, seeking the deep dark depths of her patience for just a little more.
She signed, her hands moving in angry jerky movements, don’t hit me and don’t cut me off when I’m speaking.
He narrowed his eyes at her, then nodded. She wasn’t sure if he was agreeing to her demands or if he was acknowledging that she was using sign language. She felt if she didn’t conclude this conversation quickly, she was probably going to stab him, and she knew how to make sure he bled out in under a minute. Why did she ever think she was attracted to this man? Oh yeah, fucking pheromones.
If I tell my mom it was a misunderstanding that’s been taken care of, I can probably convince her not to come searching for me. But I have to talk to her, to reassure her and get her to call off any searches she might have started.
Jozef shook his head. No phone calls.
So you’re content allowing me to think you’re some heartless asshole who would stop his bride from talking to her mother?
He glared at her, making his displeasure known through his facial expressions. He didn’t need to sign his thoughts.
Shaun took a step away from him so she wouldn’t get smacked again. “If you won’t give me what I’m asking for, then I won’t give you what you want.”
He took a threatening step toward her, a shutter slamming down over his expression, leaving blankness in its place. You won’t have a choice.
“Watch me.”
He grabbed her, crushing her lips beneath his. Shaun fought him, but Jozef was extremely adept at subduing a person. She found herself locked into place and shoved up against a wall while he ravished her mouth. Butterflies swirled in her stomach, while her brain went wild with anger that he would do such a thing after their night together.
Sin of Silence (Sinner's Empire Book 1) Page 21