A Broken Seelie Christmas

by Daniella Clark

  “Throw me out, and I’ll just keep coming back,” I say holding a fist to my heart.

  “It’s not safe for me to be here, my Queen,” the young man says. “When it is safe, I’ll be back.”

  “Wait,” I say, “what’s your name? What are you?”

  “I’m a halfling, Highness. You can just call me Trick.” He smiles, and then he’s gone.

  “A halfling?” I turn to Ky before I look back at the place Trick was just standing. “The halflings were banished a long time ago. There were two families of them. The half-breed cleaning is what it was called. Like a hundred years ago.”

  “Ky?” My hand goes to the marks on my chest.

  “Yes, Highness. Well, it seems there are some still around. Maybe they are here in the human realm. It would stand to reason they would be, if they are half-human.”

  “Yes, but he has powers. I didn’t know halflings had powers.”

  I think for a minute, then I remember the rebellion, and my face breaks into a huge smile. Ky just shakes his head at me. “Don’t get any ideas, Highness. Just because people think there was foul play, does not mean it’s safe for you to go back.”

  The streets are getting crowded now but no one has stood next to us yet. A few minutes pass, and the crowd inches closer and closer where people have no choice. The first person who stands next to us is a large man wearing a red suit. He has a long white beard and a strange red hat. He reminds me a bit of a sorcerer that once came to visit one of our royal balls.

  “Are you a sorcerer?” I whisper wanting to know if there’s more magical creatures in the human realm.

  “Ho, ho, ho,” he says loudly in my face and holds his stomach. “Of sorts, I suppose you could say.”

  “Excuse me,” I say balling my fists up. “Wait, does that mean the same thing in this realm as it does in mine?”

  “What?” he says.

  A small woman walks by and says, “Hey Santa.”

  He repeats his insult. “Ho, ho, ho.”

  I punch him right in the face. The passing woman shrieks and runs away.

  “Whoa.” Ky runs up and holds my arms behind my back. “What is happening?”

  “Your girl is on a bad trip or something, man, she was talking about other realms. I’m not supposed to break character, but she punched me.”

  “He called me a ‘ho’,” I say and feel Ky’s body tighten.

  “You insulted my Queen?” Ky starts to move towards him.

  The guy holds up his hands as he backs away from my angry guardian.

  “Dude, Santa says ho, ho, ho. Listen!” He points to a store where another man dressed like him is standing outside. Sure enough as we listen, he says it the exact same way.

  “I don’t know what you guys are on, but you have to know what Santa says. Get it together,” he says and walks away. “This chick is dressed like a genie in a fur coat.”

  “Well, we’ve drawn quite a bit of attention to ourselves,” I say as I look around at a number of humans that have started showing up.

  “No, my Queen,” Ky says through clenched teeth, “you drew attention to yourself. You keep drawing attention to yourself. Just blend and act normal.”

  He’s angry with me. I haven’t ever seen him mad at me. It’s strangely erotic. I smile as he drags me by my arm away from the crowd. The number of people has grown considerably and they are starting to pack together behind the ropes.

  “I thought he was insulting me. Ky,” I whine. “Do you want me not to defend my honor?”

  “Maybe think about the fact that you don’t know the way things are done here. Don’t be so quick to assume you know what anyone is saying. Okay?”

  “Alright,” I say holding my hands up in surrender. “I’ll think before I punch.”

  The parade starts with some shorter humans playing instruments. The girls in the front carry a banner and then there are several more banner carriers behind them. Some dance, and some juggle. It’s mildly amusing. I watch like a good girl by Ky’s side, behind most of the people.

  “We had such a good spot,” he mumbles.

  The next few things that pass us by are trucks with people in the back. Some of them have put decorations on the side, and some of them are playing loud music. I really don’t understand what’s going on, but Ky looks like he’s having the best time so I suck it up and just watch. The trucks are throwing candy, but there’s no way we could get through the crowd to get any now.

  Someone walking through the crowd is selling light up deer antlers. I’m horrified when Ky waves him down and buys us each a pair. He happily puts a pair on my head and I cross my arms over my chest. The fur coat is keeping me warm at least.

  “I look ridiculous,” I say to him.

  “You look adorable,” he says and touches my nose. The small gesture takes me by surprise. He is looking into my eyes and smiling at me in a way that makes my heart speed up. I suddenly have the urge to kiss him, and we start to move towards each other when a loud banging noise reverberates through the air.

  Someone in the parade is shooting into the crowd. He moves towards me and covers my body making me crouch down. A large white projectile flies through the crowd.

  “It’s a shirt!” Ky says. “They are shooting t-shirts. That woman just caught one.”

  I stand up relieved we aren’t dead. We’ve been watching the parade for an hour and a half. There are so many people packed in on both sides of us, I’m starting to feel a little panicky.

  “Ky, I need to breathe, there are too many people around me.”

  “Okay, come on,” he says and guides me towards the back of the crowd. They part for such a large man, and I’m grateful when we break free and I can lean against a building.

  A small creature totters away from the crowd and back towards where Ky has redirected us to be clear of the crowd. I look at it and see it has pointy shoes and ears. Its little green shirt has bells on the pockets. I’ve never seen an elf in person, but it has to be one. The ears are a dead giveaway, and the shoes.

  “Ky, is that an elf? I thought they were only in Fae. What’s he doing here?” I clutch Ky’s jacket.

  “Those little things are evil, my Queen. I insist you stay away from it!” Ky has drawn his sword.

  “Put that away!” I snap. “Look how adorable it is.” I didn’t even know he’d brought his summoning sword with us. With the light-up antlers, the sword, and the suit he looks like a strange drawing.

  I move closer to the little cherub who seems to have wandered away from the festivities. How was it hiding in plain sight among the humans?

  I stick my finger out, my plan to poke it and see if it attacks. I’m not familiar with the magic they possess, and I want to see.

  “My Queen, please,” Ky says trying to pull me away. He’s put the sword away but he still looks terrified.

  As my finger gets close to the elf, it opens its mouth and locks its teeth around my finger.

  I jump back.

  “Ky, the little cute bastard bit me!” I yell at him.

  “I told you, Highness, they are evil.”

  The next thing I know something large and black is hitting me in the head. Some large woman is hitting me with a bag she’s carrying.

  “Get away from my baby. Did you lure him over here, you sick fucks?”

  “Ma’am I assure you we did not want anything to do with your evil little elf.” Ky tries to appease her, but she just starts hitting him too.

  Lady,” I yell, “I’m going to kill -” I start to say.

  “Kiss you for showing her the error of her ways,” Ky yells over me and pulls me from the lady. “You are right, and we will be on our way, and not touching any more elves.”

  “I’m not going to let her just hit me, Ky,” I say getting tired of him always keeping me from punishing the people that are hurting me. “She deserves to get hit.”

  As I struggle to get away from Ky and go after the woman a familiar face shows up. The same guy in the red hat
I punched is standing beside us on some sort of electronic device.

  “I’m calling the police. You two crackheads are out of chances,” he says pointing at us.

  “Ky,” I say as I back away from him. “What’s the police?”

  “It’s like the guard, Highness. We need to run,” he says.

  I don’t hesitate. We both take off, away from the people and away from the parade. I know what I’d have the guard do to people that were bothering me. I don’t want to end up in the dungeon being starved and tortured.

  “Can we please go back to the desert now?” I yell at Ky.

  “Yes, I think we’ve had enough Christmas in this world. Let’s just go lay on the hot sand and think about our life choices. That sounds good,” he says holding my hand as we keep running in the direction of the portal we came through. Both of us lose our light up antlers as they fly off our heads.

  “The human realm sucks,” I say as we keep running. It seems like we run forever but neither of us want to stop until we’ve left the crazy world behind us.

  Ky doesn’t say anything, but I know he agrees with me. This trip has been nothing but being chased and yelled at. Not to mention the goblin’s tracker.

  “Ky, where’s the portal?” I ask when we get back to the place we entered. It was a long way from where the parade was, and I’m actually out of breath from the trip.

  “It’s gone,” he says with wide eyes. “Well shit.”

  Chapter Five

  Turning from where the portal is supposed to be, I wrap the fur around my body. I don’t like the feeling of being trapped away from the safety of the desert. Like I said earlier, there you can see for miles around when something’s coming for you. You can even see goblins because there aren’t that many shadows for them to hide in.

  Ky does something super helpful by trying to jump through the air. The portal not being there, he just looks stupid. I roll my eyes at his futile efforts.

  “So, we have to find a different portal then, I guess,” I say.

  “I think it might just need to be triggered,” Ky says. “It has to be here.” He waves his arms in front of his face and jumps up and down. Then he tries to punch through to the trigger.

  This goes on for a lot longer than it should, but I just let him get it out of his system. After he’s exhausted himself, he comes and sits next to me.

  “It’s just invisible to us.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose and look back towards the town. “No, I think when the goblins came through, they closed it somehow.”

  “Well, I don’t know that they’ll come back here until they’ve combed the city for us. We can stay here until we figure out our next move. Why don’t you take a nap, Highness? I’ll go and find us some food.”

  “I don’t need a nap,” I say stomping my foot.

  “You seem a bit cranky, and we didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. You’ll feel so much better,” he coaxes.

  “I will not,” I say but even as I protest, I yawn. I hate it when he’s right. “I may doze, but I don’t need a nap like a small child,” I tell him.

  Nodding he smiles and points to the grass.

  He does his cloaking spell over me and I lay down beside a grouping of bushes. I pull the fur up under my head and it makes a decent pillow. Before I know it, I’ve fallen asleep, and am dreaming of being back in Fae with my crown secure on my head.

  I’ve taken a husband and he’s rubbing my feet. When he looks up to ask me if I want him to apply more pressure, I see Ky’s face and gasp.

  “Highness, Highness,” Ky’s voice comes through the dream and I realize it’s because he’s leaning over my sleeping form trying to wake me up. I sit up quickly heat flooding my cheeks. Something smells delightful and I see he’s holding several white boxes. My stomach grumbles reminded me that I haven’t eaten since this morning.

  “What is this?”

  “I didn’t know what you might want, so I went several places. These boxes have sides. They have French fries which are something made from potatoes, broccoli…but they steam it here with cheese, and some other fried things; pickles, onions, and Oreos. I don’t know what that means, but they smell sweet.”

  I take one of the boxes and sniff the French fries. They smell divine.

  “In these are main courses,” he points to more boxes. “Chicken made into something called nuggets. Steaks from a smaller version of our mootley grazers, and shrimp which is really small here, and they fry it.”

  The two of us dig in and barely talk as we stuff our faces with human food. Everything has a different taste although the fried things taste similar. I lay back on the ground once I’m done and groan, completely full. The sun is starting to set and it feels like ages since the fight with the strange humans, and meeting Trick.

  “That was strange but pretty good food,” I say. “Thanks, Ky, for going and getting it.”

  A rustling in the bushes catches my attention and I move over to get a closer look. “Trick,” I say, “is that you?”

  “Highness,” Ky sits up from where he’d lay down in a near food coma. “Be careful.”

  Pushing some of the bushes back I peer in thinking it’s strange for Trick to be spying on us again. Why wouldn’t he come out and talk to us?

  The low growl and hiss alerts me to my mistake as the cat leaps up towards my face once again, trying to claw my eyes out. Ky is already there to swat it and we take off running. It caterwauls loudly, sitting next to where the portal disappeared.

  It’s calling the goblins, and things are about to get dangerous. I now wish I wouldn’t have eaten so much. My stomach is starting to hurt and my body feels like it could pitch all the delicious food right out. It would be such a waste.

  Goblins can inhabit anything. They could easily slip inside my body and use my powers. There’s really no telling what Gia wants them to do. Perhaps she wants them just to kill me. But if one gets into my body then she could control me as a pet or a slave forever. I simply don’t want to deal with that. Plus, how gross is it that they can just put themselves inside you?

  We run back towards town but we stay clear from the side of town we’d been on earlier in the day. There’s no reason to head back and get in more trouble. The streets are full of people, again walking slowly and looking into the windows of the shops.

  I realize they each have a different tree with lights and decorations in them. They must be set up that way for people to admire.

  I have no clue where to look for another portal, or how to call one up that’s been closed. We need a sorcerer, but I doubt we’ll find one.

  The street lights don’t give us enough light, and I hear the low death rattle of the goblins before I see them. Think about that terrible sound people on their deathbed make and then turn it into a sort of bark. That’s what a goblin sounds like.

  I illuminate the alley we’ve run into. “I can’t tell where they’re coming from,” I tell Ky.

  “Me either. I think we really need to get back in a crowd. If we’re near people, they will be less likely to attack.”

  “Okay, fine.” I turn in circles looking for the shadow melding goblins.

  Goblins mostly stay on the Unseelie side, and if my sister sent them after me, she would have had to make a deal with them behind my mother’s back.

  The Unseelie were the Seelie’s enemies, and we’d alternated between a cold war and all-out war for centuries.

  I was supposed to be the queen to lead a transition year where we attempted to form some sort of peaceful treaty with them.

  My stepfather and sister thought this was the worst idea ever, and I think they convinced my mother that’s why I had to go. There were so many Fae that wanted the Unseelie to be at peace with us, they wanted me as queen. That’s why my family didn’t stop the coronation.

  They wanted to keep the people on their side. And if I died, then they could make me a martyr. They’d pretend to seek peace while keeping the war strong and saying the Unseelie were th
e ones fighting it.

  Anger fills my body again as I think about how deceptive my family is, and how evil.

  Shadow melding was given to the goblins by a darkling. It allows them to melt into the shadows, making it impossible for them to be seen until they’re on you.

  We make our way back onto the sidewalk and start walking along with the other humans looking in the windows. Goblins are single-minded and they will be coming after me relentlessly. The thing is, they don’t like crowds, humans or otherwise, so he’s right that they might not come after us if we can stay around a lot of people.

  I look around to see if they are lurking anywhere beside the buildings, but so far, they appear to be lying low. I don’t hear them any longer. As we walk, I start to hear some type of music. The people around us stop at each window, and the pace is insanely slow. I grow impatient and tap a lady beside me.

  “Is that a real fur?” She looks at me in horror.

  “I don’t know. What’s a real fur?” I was simply going to ask her what that music was. Now I’m intrigued why she is so affected by me.

  “If I had paint right now, I’d put it all over you.” She makes an angry motion in my face.

  “Like body paint?” I quite like body paint. There were several times we used it for events in Fae.

  “No. Are you an idiot?” she says. “Real paint, to ruin your fur.”

  “I think I’m going to hurt you now,” I tell her just so she knows it’s coming and then pull the hat off the top of her head. This trip so far has not been the greatest and these humans are way too entitled for non-magical and non-royal beings.

  Next, I grab handfuls of her long dark hair and rip it out. She screams and clutches my hands, but I decide to use her hair to choke her to death. Wrapping the locks around her neck from both sides, I laugh as I pull.

  “No, come on,” Ky says pulling me away while the woman bends over struggling to breathe.

  “Come on, threatening to ruin the Queen’s coat has to be a reason to execute someone,” I cry as he pulls me through the crowd.

  “Not here. And acting like that is a good way to draw the goblins straight to you,” he says, pointing to the corner where the cat stares at me. Great, that thing is the worst.