Maria
She looked up at Rolf, who had just appeared at the edge of the roof and stared into the forest. She still was a little angry with herself that what he thought of her was important to her. In a way, they were antipodes. She was flexible, able to adapt to any situation, while he - well, at least he seemed as stony as his eyes. A rock. Rolling Stone, she thought and suppressed a laugh. Yeah. He wouldn’t stop rolling until he didn’t have the slightest bit of strength left in him. But as long as it wasn’t like that ... well, then ... now he disappeared from her field of vision and reappeared a few seconds later on the outside stairs. He went down again. She, too, was slowly setting herself in motion. He had announced that they would not rest for long. She had to go back and put on her backpack. Something touched her cheek. It’s a tender touch. Almost like a breath of wind. A noise somewhere. A rattling. She detached her gaze from Rolf and grasped her face with an involuntary movement. Blood at her fingertips. She got hot. She stared at her fingers for two seconds. It only was little blood, just a drop or two. Shit, there was more flowing out of her in an hour when she had her period. No need to act like that. When was the last time I had my monthly ...? Still, she was petrified, and now she got cold. Only when she heard Rolf yelling something from the stairs could she release her gaze from her fingers. She turned her head to him and saw that he had been docking with the hunting rifle for something. Then she understood. They were here. Rolf was the first to fire. The bang of the shot tore up the previous phase of rest and stillness with terrible abruptness. She couldn’t see who he was aiming at, couldn’t see if he had hit his target. But she saw him repeating his weapon and how the cartridge case shone golden as it was ejected and fell far down in an elegant, perfect bow. At the same time, another part of her brain noticed that the liberated were startled just like her. Tins and water bottles were dropped. At least three reacted correctly and grabbed their weapons, which lay next to them on the ground. The others just looked around in horror. Maria held her own pistol tighter. It was still the one Rolf had pressed into her hand when he took her out of the cellar. What... what the fuck is ... concentrate, old bitch! From which direction came the arrow that had touched her? From the south. From the south, of course. Where else? She spun around, the gun ready to fire. Maria searched for a target, but she found none in her direct field of vision. Something hissed past her again, right next to her, someone screamed, no, there were many screams, sounding from her right. Finally she turned her head. There they were. They stormed the courtyard. There were more in the back. How many shots did she have? What did Rolf say? Did he say anything at all? Whatever. She was twenty meters or more from the battle. Too far for her. She’d never shot before, she didn’t want to waste a bullet at any price. A switch had been flipped, deep inside her, and adrenaline flooded her. She wanted to see her bullets penetrate flesh, she suddenly understood, just like their dirty little cocks had penetrated hers. Step by step she walked forward, holding the gun in both hands. Another arrow touched her sleeve, then she remembered something. Don’t put your thumb behind your sleigh. She corrected. Then she shot the Deg bitch who had shot the arrow at her a hole in her pretty but filthy face. It felt good. Who was she? None of Viktor’s squad. Whatever. She went on. She kept shooting. Far outside at the edge of her perception, where everything blurred, she saw how Rolf also shot, from far back, from the barracks, how René came running and also fired, how Huber, that stupid pig, stopped, hesitated for a moment, ducked and then disappeared to the side, how degenerates with burst skulls and shredded torsos died, how Julian was hit in the neck by an arrow and how a degenerate who all the time had yelled incomprehensible orders and instructions, crushed old Marianne’s skull with a club and made her blood gush into his face. But it wasn’t important. What was important was what happened inside her head. Her trance began, but in an indeterminable way different than ever before. Once again Maria found no word for it. She didn’t know why it happened now of all times. The cold force waiting to be released in the small cartridges, the recoil of the weapon and the hot, steaming clouds of blood produced by her hits were all eclipsed only by the exciting fact that for the first time - for the first time since she could remember - they were afraid of her. The horror that flared up in the eyes of a degenerate just before she turned his hand into a chaotic inferno of blood, flesh and bone fragments. This feeling of power overwhelmed Maria to an extent that she could not grasp and resist. She noticed that Rolf dropped his rifle and grabbed one of his sub-machine guns. She noticed that two more of her companions in destiny tried to crawl away from the fighting with arrows sticking deep in their bodies. She noticed that René was no longer in her field of vision. She noticed that a long burst of fire from Rolf’s MP caused a group of five degenerates to break apart and three of them shrugged to the ground. Then she realized that she had emptied her gun. No. No, it can’t stop! On the edge to panic, on the edge to madness, she looked for another weapon. Then she remembered the short pump-gun she had taken from Bastian’s dead hands and stored with the barrel down in an outer pocket of her backpack. A hot impulse of joy flooded her whole body. It wouldn’t end yet. *** She noticed Rolf kneeling before her and pushing her chin up so she had to look at him. She felt comfortable when he was so close to her. « ... me? Can you hear me? You gotta get up! We have to leave before they come back. Maria! Do you hear me?” She didn’t understand right away. The first thing she noticed was that she was sitting on the floor. Then that her hands were painfully cramped around a rifle that wasn’t hers. Not the pump-gun. Then the bodies and the stench. There were so many! Finally, she managed to let go of the rifle and release herself from Rolf’s grip. She stood up with wobbly legs and Rolf rose with her. He said nothing, seemed to want to give her time to process the impressions and come back to her senses. At first she only saw the bodies of degenerates scattered between the two administrative buildings, some in completely absurd postures. Then her logic intervened and she wondered why nobody but her and Rolf stood upright anymore. Where was René? Huber’s pissed off, the fucking rat. Something caught their attention. Something red. René’s fucking scarf. Back by the barracks. He still had it around his neck and lay there as unnaturally dislocated as all the others. Maria was glad she couldn’t see his face. Gradually she discovered the other liberated among the dead. She got dizzy and Rolf had to support her. “Nobody?” she asked quietly. “No. Nobody.” Except Huber, she completed in thought. “Can you walk? A few escaped together with their leader. I’m sure they’re still around and...” Rolf’s gaze fell on the gun in their hands. “Leave it here. We’re almost out of ammo anyway. I only got one hand gun with three rounds left.” Only now did she see that he was wearing a wooden bow and a quiver with arrows and not his usual equipment. She also saw that the ankles of his right hand had burst open. The ankle of the ring finger was still bleeding. “No ammo...” she said slowly. “You’ve been shooting a lot. All of us, but you...” He hesitated and then said. “Even at the dead, just at everyone, if I’ve seen it right. You wouldn’t stop. Going around and...” “Yes. Possibly ... I...” “It’s all right. We’ve got to keep moving.” She let him help her put on the backpack and also take a bow and an arrow quiver, which he took from the pale blue hands of a degenerate woman who no longer had a forehead. “I’ve already repacked the essentials while you’re gone. You scared the shit out of those assholes.” “Okay.” she just replied. Even the dead. All of them.
Milan
Milan exactly knew which of his men had run away first to escape the slaughter - and who had made sure that all those who had stood on their feet following the herd instinct had also fled. Erik. The guy he had appointed as leader of the second squad. Another mistake. Milan couldn’t blame the man. It had been really scary. The ghost had used his weapons with a cold-bloodedness, with a rationality that Milan would not have believed a soul of man could possess in such a battle. Aim, pull the trigger, move. Aim, pull the trigger, move. Over and over again. His facial expressions had sho
wn no movement, no emotion. But the insane one had been much scarier. Milan was sure it had been her who had triggered the flight impulse in Erik. She had laughed, as one imagines it with an evil witch from the fairy tales, her eyes opened so wide that they were almost swollen out of her skull. Milan remembered the fraction of a second when he realized that he was the only one of his hunting troop who was neither dead nor fleeing. He stood in the middle of chaos and saw first Erik and then all the others retreating. The first few steps they had walked backwards, as if they were still hesitating, but then they had turned around one by one and had run. Milan’s brain had registered all this in a very short time. Another fraction of a second later Milan had felt something, a kind of tingling, a heat boost. They had both stared at him, at all the dead and dying lying between them, the ghost with his expressionless face and the lunatic with her horribly distorted features. Then Milan had also run, and he would never have stopped. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t supposed to. His father should be proud of him. He’d forgive him for losing his men. Yeah, he would, wouldn’t he? But only if Milan brought him the ghost. Somehow he managed to find his surviving men and women in the woods and calmed them down. There were nine left. He explained to them what would wait for them if they returned without the ghost. For them and him. What he didn’t yet tell them was that they were assured of a cruel execution anyway when the matter was finally settled, because at the moment he still needed them. Their cowardice would not be forgiven. He wished he still had some of Viktor’s tongue left, but he had already swallowed all the rest at once, for mental reassurance. Now he could only lick the dried blood residue from the dog’s skin, while, surrounded by his people, he huddled behind the large, vertically towering root of a fallen tree and thought. It should have worked, he kept saying to himself. They had crossed the muddy open space between the edge of the forest and the building undetected. No problem. No problem. But then what went wrong? Well, on the one hand, the ghost had still been on the stairs of the opposite building, when they had stormed out right and left behind the front building and had begun the assault. And there was the maniac woman who had stood guard at some distance. Erik had been ordered to take her out, but something had gone wrong. Loser. All the others who had sat together and rested they had been able to finish off pretty quickly, but ... oh ... did that still matter? No, Milan answered the question himself. No. There was only one solution to his dilemma, and wallowing in self-pity and doubt like a sow in the mud didn’t get him anywhere. He had to... Something was rustling to his left. Immediately he was alarmed, and those around him tightened themselves and pulled the bowstrings through. “Wait, its me.” One of his scouts. Rico. I just forgot all about him. Where’s it coming from now? Where has he been all this time? He was bleeding from an ugly gunshot wound to his left upper arm, but he held himself upright. Now he spoke breathlessly. “I... I was able to track them. Didn’t see me. They’re heading north-east. The ghost and the woman. There’s another quarry. A smaller one. They’re hiding in a cave.” Milan processed the information. Why would they hide? One of them had to be hurt. Yes, that´s it. Milan rose and folded his dog skin. “You heard him. Up you go! We’ll get the ghost!” “Good work.” he added towards the scout. “I appreciate initiative.”
Maria
She wondered if the backpack had been so heavy all along. Its weight made it hard for her to put one foot in front of the other, but Rolf didn’t even seem to think of resting. Why should he? They had covered just one kilometer. Maybe less. She was sweating. Then she became dizzy and the forest floor rushed towards her. “Are you all right?” It’s becoming a habit of him kneeling in front of me and holding me by the chin, she thought. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just help me up. We have to keep moving, don’t we?” Rolf nodded confirming and pulled her up as his eyes kept scanning the dense forest around them. “Does anything hurt? Are you hurt?” “No, no, no, no. I’m not hurt.” Again he held her face with a surprisingly gentle grip. His thumb went over the small cut on her cheek, which he watched attentively. The skin was rough and it burned a little. “That’s nothing.” “Looks inflamed.” “We gotta keep moving.” He nodded again. She dragged herself about another kilometer beside him before she stumbled again. When she regained consciousness this time, he did not hold her face in his big hands. She lay on her back and everywhere around her she saw bright rocks. Also on the ground around them lay many loose boulders in all possible sizes. From above, some daylight penetrated here and there. There was something soft under her, and she was covered with a sleeping bag. Rolf squatted a few meters away from her in front of a gas burner and warmed his hands. He also had put two of them next to her, but they didn’t have much effect. She was still cold. She rose into a half sitting position, and he turned to her as he became aware of the movement. “Lie still. You’re very weak.” “Yeah. I guess I’d better. I ...” Then, just as she was about to ask him where they were, it felt like a rabid rat was eating its way through her intestines. The pain was so all-encompassing that she couldn’t even scream. Her whole body trembled in ruthless spasms. Maria tried in panic to find her way into a trance, tried to turn the pain into pleasure, as she had done so often before, but she simply did not succeed. This fact intensified the horror that took hold of her more and more until it had completely taken over her. no. No. No! She registered that Rolf was holding her and how scared he looked. Again, malignant fingers reached for all her organs, fingers with dirty, sharp nails. Tore her innermost. They raged in her body, mercilessly and greedy, until they were satisfied, until they were exhausted and the raging became less bad and finally stopped altogether. Slowly the pain passed and Maria came to her breath again. “It seems to be over. Calm down, calm down. Do you get that a lot?” “Yes.” Maria replied. “Sometimes.” No, and it’s not over either, she thought. That was just a foretaste. I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen what’s going to happen. She remembered the gruesome spectacle. Viktor had experimented on three of them to find the best mixture for his poison. “I’m all right now.” Rolf made efforts to break away from her. She held his hand. “Are we safe here?” “For the moment.” he confirmed. “You can only come in from the cave entrance, and the corridor makes a bend that prevents us from being seen from the outside, we have a good chance that...” “Good. That’s good. I ...” She wanted to tell him she wanted to do it a last time before it was all over for her. That it should be nice and warm. Not as dirty and disgusting as it had been with them. That he should clean her and wash away all the dirt. That he should love her. But to say all this would take too long and he would still not be able to understand it. So she just pulled him over and kissed him. That he understood.
Rolf
When it was over, they were still lying together for a while and enjoyed their warmth. Then her breaths had become more regular and calmer. When Rolf was sure she was asleep, he got up, covered her up and dressed again. The cave they were in was not a real cave, but rather a deep crevice, approximately in the middle of the lowest quarry terrace, where stone overhangs growing out of the walls provided something like a perforated roof. It led about thirty meters deep into the rock. Access was narrow. So tight that the Degs, if they were to find them here, couldn’t make use of their numerical advantage. Rainwater had gathered in front of the quarry terraces and formed a lake of about fifty meters radius in front of the entrance. But it didn’t offer any real protection. There was a shore. You could just circle the lake without getting your feet wet. Rolf now stood on this shore and looked at the calm, dark water. Where are you bastards? Did you run home to lick your wounds? Or are you still somewhere near and wait for the right opportunity? Rolf knew he was taking a big risk resting here. He told himself that he would not have made much progress with Maria in her condition anyway, and that it was a stroke of luck that he had discovered the crevice. That he had made the tactically best choice. But the truth was that he was just done. Part of him wanted everything to just stop. It wasn’t only the tiredness of his body. His soul, too
, was tired. He had failed again. Again, his actions had led to the death of many. He had brought death to the degenerates, of course, but also to those he had wanted to save. He wondered if he should take some of the dry pieces of wood that had been washed up on the narrow shore and light a fire. The smoke could betray them, sure, but Maria ... well, she wasn’t feeling well and she froze, gas burner and sleeping bag back and forth. He remembered the despair with which she had clung to him when they had slept together. The painful power with which her fingers had dug themselves into his back. For himself it was ... he had to admit to himself that he had forgotten how it could be. How ... Then he saw them. On the other side of the lake they came along the forest path that led to the small mould where the quarry was located. They went back for their horses. That’s why they took so long, Rolf’s rational part stated, and all other thoughts and feelings were wiped out. There weren’t many left. Less than a dozen. I wonder if they’ve seen us before. With decent weapons he could have killed them from here, right on their horses, but this way ... he grasped the bow tighter and put an arrow on the string. He’d only use his last bullets if absolutely necessary.
Maria
As if through a veil and from far away she noticed that Rolf shook her and shouted, that he seemed excited and that he kept looking back. She tried hard, but it took her a long time to get out of her sleep. When she could finally sit up, he had already been away again. Forwards, towards the exit, his bow in his hand. They came here. That was good. That was good. A good place. Tight. As tight as they had always wanted her holes. She got up. Her legs trembled and she froze, but that didn’t matter now. She had prepared herself. She had already done so after losing consciousness for the first time, somewhere between this place and the quarry buildings where so many had died. She had taken it out of the side pocket of his jacket and put it in her own. She couldn’t wait too long. Her treacherous body made it hard for her to put on her jacket. Screams were reaching her ear, even they seemed infinitely far away. Her arms didn’t want to obey to her commands and there was something wrong with her sense of balance. She soon gave up her miserable attempts and was content to simply put her jacket around her shoulders. She felt surprisingly soft on her naked skin. She went off with bare feet. She heard Rolf’s gun three times. The shots echoed long through the cave. Until she reached the bend that led to the exit, she had to support herself several times on the cold stone to her right. There was Rolf. He had built up a cover from their backpacks and loose rocks lying around and had just put an arrow on the bowstring. Two had made it through the narrow passage and were already on the ground, another was holding his leg, limping and trying to get out of Rolf’s line of fire. The degenerates were about ten meters away from Rolf and sent arrows in his direction. Two of them held one of the bodies in front of them as a shield. She couldn’t wait long. Rolf was not allowed to be hurt. He didn’t deserve that. She had to hurry. It took a felt eternity for her to reach them. At first they didn’t shoot at her, and she managed to get even closer. Why should they? She was just an unarmed woman who didn’t even wear clothes, nothing but her winter jacket, and there was Rolf, the evil ghost who fired on them and posed a much greater danger to the degenerates. Only when she was only a few meters away from them did one of them, their leader she believed scream: “There’s the maniac cunt!” Yeah, that’s right. Here’s comes the maniac cunt. She smiled. Then, the same moment the leader shot an arrow in her belly, she heard Rolf roar. Not a word. Just an animal sound that mixed anger, horror and regret. You don’t have to, Rolf. It doesn’t hurt at all. It’s no big deal. Feels pretty good, actually. Her trance had returned to her. “I got her. Do you hear me, ghost? I got your little bitch!” Maria could not understand Rolf’s words, but she could hear panic and incomprehension in them. He didn’t understand what she was up to. She would have liked to have told him it was good the way it was. That everything was okay. But she didn’t have much time, maybe not even a second. Her legs broke away under her. She kept crawling towards them. A second arrow drilled into her back, but her brain also transformed this painful impulse into something pleasant. She felt her blood run warm out of her body. Now I don’t have to freeze anymore. Once again something inside her gave her the strength to stand up again and run exactly five steps. Then she staggered again, bounced against one of them, fell forward past him, hit the ground. Then the timer of the time fuse had finally expired, just at the right moment. The moment she was all among them.
Brenner: The Gospel of Madness (Book 5 of 6) Page 4