by Haley Ryan
Not only possible but probable, I realized. Which meant that if Draven ever attempted to find her, he faced an almost impossible task. Unlike dragons, he couldn’t identify her by smell.
If Dathair wanted Morghaine to face justice, he would need the help of dragons. Maybe that was why he’d sent Draven in the first place. And if Draven needed a dragon’s help, maybe I could convince him to choose me. Maybe I could convince him to give us another chance…
“I’m an idiot,” I muttered under my breath.
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Skye murmured. “Your fae friend isn’t exactly hard to look at.”
I shot her a murderous glare and felt the dragon add a little extra punch to the murder part.
She burst out laughing. “Relax, Kira. I’m not after your man.”
“No, you’re just after my brother,” I grumbled.
She jerked like I’d slapped her. “What makes you say that?”
“Um, isn’t it obvious?”
“I hope not!” She looked equal parts furious and worried. “I mean, we’re technically cousins.”
“But you aren’t blood relations,” I pointed out. “And you don’t act like family.”
“We don’t feel like family,” she agreed, grudgingly. “And anyway, that sort of thing doesn’t matter as much to dragons as it does to humans. But, still, I’ve never told anyone. I don’t even think he knows, and it’s virtually impossible to keep that sort of thing from an empath.”
Whoa… “Hold on, you mean it’s Declan you’re interested in?”
“Which one did you think I was talking about?”
I had to backpedal a ways. “I sort of assumed it was Ryker, and I thought he…”
Nope, wasn’t going to go there. As far as I could tell, all signs pointed to Ryker being interested in Skye, and a love triangle that involved two of my brothers wasn’t something I planned to get involved in.
But Skye was so fierce, so effortlessly confident, I’d somehow paired her in my head with someone who seemed to share those attributes. And yet, now that I knew her story, I could see how Declan might appeal to her more. He was unfailingly honest, loyal, supportive—everything she’d never gotten from her adoptive mother.
“If you so much as breathe the wrong way around him, I swear I’ll kill you,” Skye threatened, and it was a bit of a revelation to see that she could get nervous over a guy. It honestly made me like her even more than I already did.
“Not a word,” I promised, crooking my pinky in her direction like a ten-year-old.
I wasn’t even sure she’d know about that human custom, but she grinned and offered me her pinky in return.
We air-pinky-swore and then, in the grand tradition of spurned females everywhere, decided to eat more ice cream.
I woke up alone in my bed the next morning with a raging headache, remembered what day it was, and promptly had to race to the bathroom to throw up.
After a solid ten minutes of dry heaving, I rinsed out my mouth, splashed water on my face, and stared at my pale, frightened reflection in the mirror, wondering how I’d gotten here.
It was almost like I hadn’t fully processed what was happening until it was literally staring me in the face—I was about to step into an arena with a hostile dragon fully intent on beating the crap out of me. And there would be hundreds of people watching, most of them willing to decide my future and that of all dragons based on one bully’s ability to tear me apart.
Everyone watching would have an opinion.
Everyone watching would be ready to make a judgment.
And the truth was, win or lose, I still had no idea why I was doing this.
The challenge itself was nothing more than a steaming pile of bullshit, and everyone knew it. Some bully saw an opportunity to hurt my mother, and I got caught in the middle.
Yes, I knew all the arguments they’d given me for why I had to accept it—if I was kicked out of the enclave, it would be dangerous for everyone. I would be hunted. I could be used against my mother. I would have to face the fae summons. I would be torn apart from my family only weeks after we were reunited.
Why was it only now that I thought to question their premise?
They’d taught me to fight because they believed I was capable of challenging Weldon and winning. But why didn’t they believe me capable of facing the challenge of losing?
If I fought and won, the other dragons would be more likely to accept me as my mother’s heir. By going along with my brothers’ plan, I’d chosen the route that would keep me here, tied to the enclave for the rest of my life. Something I wasn’t sure I wanted anyway.
It was hard enough to realize that my complicated family history had lost me Draven. Now, I was beginning to fear that I had lost myself as well.
So why had I gone along with it? Because I was afraid? Maybe a little. But it wasn’t like I hadn’t already known the dangers I faced long before I set foot in the enclave.
No, once I dug down into my own heart, I found the same truth that had haunted me since the night I first met my real family—that more than anything else, I didn’t want to disappoint them. The broken little girl in me would always remember the last look Morghaine gave me before she disappeared—a look of disappointment—and wonder whether I was the reason she hadn’t come back.
If I lost my real mother, and if I lost my brothers, I didn’t want it to be because they were disappointed. Because somehow, my tiny, pathetic dragon didn’t measure up. Because I wasn’t enough.
I was getting ready to fight for something I didn’t believe in, just to prove that I was good enough to be a part of my own family.
And if that wasn’t messed up, I don’t know what was.
I couldn’t blame them—my brothers had done all this because they genuinely loved me and wanted to keep me safe. The problem here was with the difference between what I claimed to believe and what I was saying with my actions. My words were tough—I claimed I wasn’t ready to tamely go along with what my family had planned for my future—but when it came right down to it, I’d done just that.
In the end, I had to make a judgment I could live with and then act on it. I would have to trust that my family was more than capable of taking care of themselves, and that if they truly loved me, they would respect my decision.
Would I be hunted? Yes. Could I someday be used against the people who loved me? Also yes. But I couldn’t live the rest of my life running from my fears. Hiding here forever would destroy me, and in the end, it would destroy my relationship with my family.
If the rest of the dragon community had shown any sign that they either wanted or needed me, perhaps it would have changed my mind. But they didn’t. I was a newcomer and an interloper, and would probably never quite fit in amongst a people who thrived on stability. For now, they had Lady Tairen, and when she was too old, they would have Skye—who loved and understood her people and their traditions.
And if not Skye? Well, maybe they could get over themselves and consider that gender had nothing to do with the capability to rule. Any of my brothers could succeed our mother and do a kickass job of it.
So where did this leave me? I still had to walk out there and face my challenger, but what was I going to say? How could I somehow make my point without it reflecting badly on my family?
I probably couldn’t. I couldn’t control what others chose to believe. But Lady Tairen, despite her age, was still a formidable woman. I would have to put my faith in her ability to lead and do what was necessary.
And if my family were disappointed in me?
It would hurt. But even if they rejected me completely, I would truly only be losing part of my family. I would still have Faris and Seamus and Wynter. Hugh and Chicken and Waffles. My friends at The Portal. I would be okay.
I just had to find the courage to walk out there and lose.
And the courage to admit that I hadn’t lost Draven because of my family. I’d lost him because he wasn’t willing to take the risk
of loving me. And I couldn’t even blame him, because I hadn’t exactly been willing to risk myself either.
That changed now.
They came for me a little before noon, and yeah, it felt like I was being taken to either an execution or a gunfight. Declan was a bit pale and subdued—probably suffering from all the nervous energy around him—while Ryker was so keyed up, I was surprised he managed to keep his feet on the ground.
“…And remember to protect your wings. The arena isn’t as large as the clearing we trained in, so there won’t be as much room for flight. You’ll be in close quarters, so stay alert…”
He kept talking as if I might be able to absorb any more information than what he’d already stuffed in my brain.
Not possible. The inside of my head was a total disaster, and even the parts I remembered seemed distant.
What I did remember clearly: the arena they used for challenges was a circular sand pit built in the center of the enclave. It looks a bit like a backyard version of the Colosseum— smaller and with fewer seats. Anyone who wanted to could come watch, and the fight would continue until one competitor yielded, or to a maximum of ten minutes, after which the council would decide the winner. Might not sound like long, but in a fight? Ten minutes seemed interminable.
It was permissible to draw blood, but not to fatally wound. Fatal wounds would result in death for the aggressor. Wings could be targeted but not permanently damaged.
And the challenged got to attack first.
I’d thought about simply yielding right out of the gate. I could say I’d changed my mind about the challenge. Walk away shamed but whole. And if it were just me involved, that’s probably what I would choose. I didn’t have anything to prove to myself in that arena.
But even if I’d chosen to lose in the end, I could do one last thing for my family—I could take the opportunity to prove that Weldon and his ilk were nothing but bullies.
I had no idea what would happen afterward. I doubted Weldon would risk hurting me badly enough that I would require medical attention, so the question was really how long they would give me before I was required to vacate the premises. Or whether they would expect me to find my own way home.
So before we walked over to the arena, I stopped my brothers and threw my arms around first Ryker, then Declan.
“Just wanted you to know,” I said, trying to smile bravely, “that no matter what happens, I love you both. I’m glad you found me, and I hope you won’t be too disappointed if I lose.”
“Kira.” Ryker hugged me again, picking me up off the ground in the process. “You’re not going to lose. You’re fast. And you have your scales to protect you. Not to mention the best teachers ever. You’ll be fine.”
He hadn’t said they wouldn’t be disappointed.
“What Ryker meant to say,” Declan interjected, “is that we love you too. And we could never be disappointed in you.”
And there was the Declan I knew and loved.
“Where’s Callum? And… Lady Tairen?” I still hadn’t found it in myself to call her Mom.
“They’re already at the arena.”
It did hurt just a little that they hadn’t come to… oh, I don’t know. Wish me luck? I guess I understood why the queen couldn’t take sides in a challenge, but it also made me more determined than ever in my chosen course of action. I didn’t want this. Didn’t want my mother’s life.
But I couldn’t say that to my brothers, so I followed them meekly to Declan’s SUV and rode in silence to the arena, where they showed me to the dressing area.
It looked like exactly what it used to be—the dressing room for the former resort area’s original swimming pool. I would leave my clothes and enter the arena wearing only a long black robe—easy to shed and easy to put back on after shifting.
Even from inside the room, I could hear the sound of the crowd’s murmuring as they awaited the coming battle. It made me think again of the Colosseum, and wonder just how many of those watching were there because they cared about justice, and how many were there solely for the entertainment.
I was nervous enough that I jumped when I heard footsteps behind me and whirled to face the sound.
“How are you holding up?” Skye asked in a low voice.
“Smashingly,” I reported, wrapping my robe a little more tightly around my body. Turns out, I wasn’t a huge fan of going commando-style. “Didn’t I mention it was one of my life’s greatest regrets that I was born two thousand years too late to be a gladiator?”
She grimaced. “That great, huh?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be out there, feigning neutrality?”
“Yes.” She shrugged. “I guess I just don’t care that much whether I get caught. Weldon is an ass, and I hope you hand him his.”
As satisfying as that would be, it wasn’t going to happen today. I felt a little bad for not telling Skye what I was planning, but I also didn’t want her to try to talk me out of it. So we traded smack-talk for a few more minutes until she left me with an awkward hug and a fist bump.
And before I knew it, the moment had arrived.
The door opened from the outside, letting in too-bright sunlight that forced me to shade my eyes as I walked out and felt my bare feet sink into the sand.
All of the murmurs died away into silence.
I didn’t look up at the crowd—didn’t look for my brothers or Lady Tairen. I only had eyes for my opponent, Weldon, who strode across the sand to the center of the arena as if he owned it, looking entirely comfortable in his own loose black robe. Maybe they were an acquired taste.
After he’d raised a hand to the crowd in patronizing acknowledgment of what he seemed to view as their adoration, he turned to me with a slightly superior smile. “Shall we?”
He took hold of the front of his robe and yanked.
I couldn’t help it—my eyes shut in horrified denial of his apparent comfort with being naked in front of pretty much everyone in Riverhaven.
“Crying craven already?” The grating touch of his mental voice forced my eyes open again, to see an admittedly imposing golden dragon preening dramatically for the crowd.
He was less armored than a black or a red dragon, and featured far fewer spines down his neck and back, but he was still built more heavily than a silver. Every inch of his body seemed designed for the maximum possible visual impact—beauty, grace, strength, and perfectly honed musculature, all of it draped in stunning golden scales.
“Ooh, shiny,” I muttered under my breath.
“Perhaps someone should have taught you that it’s impolite to speak to yourself in front of others,” Weldon sneered into my head.
“I’m so sorry,” I said loudly. “I was just thinking I should have brought my sunglasses today. I didn’t realize you were planning to wax your scales.”
A slight ripple of laughter answered my remark.
“Bold words from a child who doesn’t seem to have any scales. Are you planning to face me in your human skin today? Because I can kill you just as easily in either form.”
Wait, what? He was joking, right?
“That’s not what we’re here for,” I said, a little more quietly. “We’re just going to get this little snit-fit out of your system and go on with our lives.”
“Oh, you poor little thing. Did they tell you challenges don’t ever result in death?” Weldon said mockingly. “How silly. You know, even among dragons, accidents happen.”
Accidents happen?
I looked up into his burning amber eyes and saw nothing but implacable hatred.
He didn’t intend for me to walk away.
So much for my amazing plan.
Fifteen
He gave me about half a second to wonder whether there was anything my brothers weren’t wrong about before he struck.
I dove to the side and rolled over my right shoulder, praying that the move hadn’t exposed everything I wasn’t wearing to the watching crowd, most of whom had leaped to their feet at Weldon�
�s cowardly attack. I heard gasps and shouts, but I couldn’t afford to pay attention to them.
“You’re breaking the rules!” I hissed.
“The queen makes the rules,” he whispered in my head, as his tail took me off my feet and threw me halfway across the sand pit. “They won’t be the same for much longer.”
I came up spitting sand and saw only a mountain of golden scales, poised directly over my head.
So I rolled again. His teeth snapped together about six inches from my head.
What did he mean the rules wouldn’t be the same for much longer?
Was he admitting what we’d thought all along—that someone was pulling his strings? And that he was convinced this someone would be in a position to save his life even if he killed me?
“Are you giving up this easily, little princess? Do you refuse to shift because you’re begging me to end it quickly?”
“No, I’m refusing to shift so everyone in this crowd can see what a despicable coward you are,” I yelled, though I wasn’t sure anyone could hear me over the sounds of both outrage and encouragement echoing from the onlookers.
“I am doing them a favor,” he sneered. “And before this day is over, everyone here will finally understand.”
He sounded like he was expecting something to happen. Something a bit more important than him kicking my disrespectful rear out of the arena. Something that threatened my family, and potentially everyone else in the enclave.
But there was no way anyone could hear my warnings from down here. There was too much noise. And if I knew my brothers, someone would have had to sit on them to keep them from interfering in the fight the moment Weldon proved he was willing to cheat in order to destroy me. They would be more interested in murdering my opponent than listening.
I needed an actual plan. So far, Weldon had been toying with me. He was frustrated and begging for someone to recognize his genius. But now that he’d dropped his hints and made his villainous little speech, he wasn’t going to play around for much longer. Any minute now, he would be trying to kill me in earnest.