“Be safe,” she whispered.
“Always, mon coeur.” The words were rote, but that didn’t diminish their meaning. She’d been his heart for most of his life. Whether they were together or not, wouldn’t change that. Maybe one day another woman would take her place, but he didn’t see that happening any time soon.
—:—
Dutch stood to the side and watched the two people who mattered more to him than any others, wishing things were the way they used to be between them.
Mantis walked away from Alegria, and straight over to Dutch.
“Shipping out. I’ll be in touch.”
“Be safe,” said Dutch, reaching out to shake his hand.
“What’s that shit?” Mantis said, pulling him into a hug.
“I didn’t know—”
“You always know.”
Dutch felt like a bigger asshole than he had a few minutes ago. They’d never let each other leave without a proper send-off.
“Godspeed,” he said, squeezing Mantis’ shoulder.
“Appreciate it.”
Dutch looked into Alegria’s eyes when Mantis walked away. They were filled with so much sadness, it nearly shredded his heart. She was like a bird with a broken wing, powerless to do the thing she was best at—fly.
It wouldn’t be long before she mended, and when she did, would the time come when she finally admitted she wanted Mantis more than she wanted him?
—:—
Her own stubborn pride put her where she was, and would keep her there if she didn’t let it go and tell Mantis she forgave him.
Was that even fair? Was choosing to live by the commitment he’d made to serve his country something he should be forgiven for?
She wanted him to choose her, and he hadn’t, and that’s the part she hadn’t been able to forgive—until the day in the hospital when she woke up and he was there.
From that moment on, she’d been questioning the decision she made to end things with Mantis. No matter how strongly she denied the things Dutch said about her still loving Mantis, was he wrong?
She wasn’t being any more fair to Dutch than she had been to Mantis when she’d given him the ultimatum. Dutch loved her, and all he wanted in return was for her to love him back. She did, but not in the way he wanted. There was only one man she loved the way Dutch wanted her to love him—Mantis. Could what she felt for Dutch be enough for him, or would the time come when he walked away from her too?
—:—
“Where are we going?”
Striker sighed. “I won’t know for sure until I receive the briefing.”
“Not the final destination, Striker. I need to know where we’re going now. I can’t submit a flight plan unless I know where I’m taking you.”
“Right. Sorry. McLean.”
Mantis nodded. “Headquarters.”
“We had plans.”
“What’s that?”
“Aine and I. I was supposed to spend the rest of the week with her. I rented this car for our drive up the coast. I was taking her back to Yachats.”
“Sorry, man.”
“I thought that once I quit working for the company, I’d be able to choose.”
Striker looked over at Mantis when he didn’t respond. “No comment?”
“It’s never been a choice for me, Striker.”
“Elaborate.”
“That’s what ended Alegria and me. She thought I had a choice.”
—:—
“We need to talk.”
“Dutch, I’m exhausted and I want to sleep.”
“I know, but if I don’t do this now, I’m afraid I won’t do it at all.”
Alegria sighed and folded her arms. “What is it?”
“I saw what happened with Mantis.”
“What’s your point?”
“Why can’t you admit that you’re still in love with him?”
“I can’t do this now. What’s more? I won’t. I’m tired. I’m in pain, and I have no intention of discussing it with you.”
“What if you have no choice?” he asked.
“I always have a choice,” she answered.
Chapter 10
Zary and Gunner
“I need your help,” Zary said to Ava when she answered her call.
“With what?” Ava responded in her usual cheery way. Did nothing ever bother her half-sister?
“It’s almost Christmas and I don’t have a gift for Gunner.”
“Oh. Okay. Um. Do you have any ideas?”
“None.” Zary felt like crying.
“Give me a minute. I’ll call you back.”
Ava hung up before Zary could tell her they were at Gunner’s mother’s house and that, while he’d gone downstairs, she expected him back at any minute. Fortunately, her phone rang less than a minute later.
“Razor and I can bring the gifts with us next week, but don’t worry, I’ll take photos for you so you know what they are. I’ll also wrap everything.”
“Wait. You’ll wrap everything? What does that mean?”
“Well, you want to get him one or two bigger gifts, and then a few smaller things too. Have you hung stockings yet?”
Zary rubbed her temples. “This is so complicated,” she muttered, not intending to say it out loud. “I don’t know what that means.”
“What decorating have you done?”
“We aren’t on the island.”
“You aren’t? Why not? Never mind, it doesn’t matter. This is perfect, though. Aine and I will pick you up in an hour, and we’ll take you shopping. Tell Gunner you’ll be gone most of the afternoon.”
“But I only need one gift.”
“Trust me on this. You want to get more than that.”
“Why?”
“You’ll see.”
Zary disconnected the call and went in search of Gunner. She found him downstairs, sitting in front of a computer while he talked on the phone.
“I said today,” she heard him bark at whoever was on the other end. “Not tomorrow, not the day after. Today. Do whatever you have to, to make that happen.”
He slammed his phone down on the desk hard enough that she wondered if he’d shattered the screen.
She turned to walk away before he noticed her but ran into Odette coming down the stairs.
“Hey, Zary. Have you seen Gunner?”
When Zary turned to point, Gunner was standing in the doorway.
“How much of that did you hear?” he asked.
She cringed. “Just the last thing you said.”
He walked over and put his arm around her waist. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I just wish…”
“What?”
“I don’t want your surprise to be ruined.”
She shook her head. “Then you should stop talking because I don’t know anything other than that you’re angry with someone.”
“I love you,” he murmured, pulling her close and kissing her forehead.
“I love you too. I came to tell you I’m going out.”
Gunner raised his eyebrows and smiled. “You are?”
“Yes. Ava and Aine will pick me up in an hour.”
“I like it.”
Zary folded her arms.
“Don’t give me that look. All I’m saying is that I like that you’re spending time with Ava and Aine.”
“Why?”
Gunner leaned in closer to her. “You have a family, Rocket Girl. People who love and care about you. None of us can have too much love in our lives.” He rested his hand on her belly. “And this little one will have two grandmothers, three aunts, and lots of honorary uncles in his or her life. That isn’t a bad thing.”
Zary nodded. What he said was true, but something inside of her was having a hard time trusting it was real, and if it was, that it would last.
“Can I come along?” Odette asked. “I still have a few things to pick up.”
“I guess so.” Would that be okay with Ava
? She had no idea.
Odette smiled. “I’m sure they won’t mind.”
“Give me a kiss before you leave,” said Gunner.
“And that will be my cue to wait for you upstairs.”
Gunner gave her a chaste kiss, and then cupped her face with his hand. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”
Zary bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know what to give you for Christmas. Am I supposed to get gifts for other people too?” She felt herself getting emotional and did her best to tamp it down.
“I’m sure between Ava, Aine, and my sister, they’ll help you figure it out. What else is on your mind?”
“Why do you think there’s anything else?”
Gunner gazed into her eyes. “Because I know you.”
Zary sighed. There was no point in lying. “There are two things.”
Gunner moved his hands to her shoulders and squeezed. “Just tell me.”
“Topor.”
—:—
“Ah, yes. Your uncle.”
Zary’s mother had hoped her half-brother would be able to join them for the Thanksgiving holiday. He’d said he’d come the day after, but he hadn’t shown up. Now he was promising to come to the island, where they were celebrating Christmas.
“Are you worried he will show up, or won’t?”
“Both.”
“I understand.”
“You do?”
Gunner smiled. “You don’t want your mother to be disappointed again, but you aren’t certain how comfortable you’ll feel with a man who first abducted you, and then made you believe he hated you by the way he treated you.”
“I don’t like that he’s coming to the island.”
“You don’t trust him.”
She shook her head. “Not at all.”
“What’s the second thing?”
“I got a call earlier.”
“From?”
“Losha.”
“And? Has she finally accepted that United Russia is no longer a threat and is ready to come above ground?”
The last Gunner had heard, Shiver still hadn’t found where she was hiding, let alone convince her that he and the K19 team had successfully negotiated the removal of the bounty UR had placed on her head.
Zary bit her lip. “Not exactly. She…”
When Zary tried to turn away from him, Gunner held her close and looked into her eyes. “You can trust me, sweetheart. No matter what it is.”
“How do you do that? It’s like you look inside my mind.”
“Lifetimes of loving you.”
She smiled, and even though it was tentative, it warmed his heart.
“What I’m about to tell you…you can’t tell anyone. You have to promise me.”
He held up one hand. “I swear I won’t tell a soul.”
“She’s here.”
Gunner did his best not to react. Now he understood her insistence that he not tell anyone. By anyone, she meant Shiver. “Where?”
“Washington, and she needs a place to stay. Somewhere…private.”
“I see.”
The solution was simple, but before he made any promises, Gunner needed to talk to his mother.
“I may have an idea for both Topor and Losha.”
“What?”
“I’ll tell you when you get back from shopping. Will she be okay wherever she is until then?”
Zary nodded. “Thank you,” she murmured.
“Wait,” he said when she turned to go up the stairs.
“What?”
“Kiss me.”
Zary smiled again, making the hallway, along with this life, brighter.
“I love you.”
“You told me that a few minutes ago.”
He gripped her arm, pulled her close, and covered her mouth with his. He leaned into her, pushing her up against the wall, while his tongue invaded her mouth.
“Any questions?” he asked, pulling back so he could see her eyes.
“I love you, Gunner.”
“That’s better. Have fun today. Oh, wait. I have something for you.”
“Oh no, is it a gift? I don’t have anything for you.”
Gunner walked back over to where his laptop was and pulled an envelope out of his bag.
“What is this?” she asked, pulling out a letter with a credit card attached.
“What does it look like? It’s a credit card. Actually, it’s a debit card, but it can be used either way. I added you to my account.”
Zary hadn’t talked to him about it, but Striker had told him that United Russia had managed to empty her bank accounts when they knew her intention was to defect. She had money, but it wouldn’t last forever, and he didn’t want her to be worried about it.
“Gunner, I—”
He closed her hand around the card, leaned forward, and kissed her again. “Don’t argue, Rocket Girl. What’s mine is yours.”
“But…”
“Go ahead. Say whatever it is.”
“Thank you.”
“Hmm. I know there’s something else you were going to say, but I’ll accept your thanks. You’re welcome.”
Gunner went upstairs after he knew Zary and his sister were gone.
“Hello, handsome,” said his mother when he walked into the kitchen.
He smiled. “You’re in a good mood.” She wasn’t always, not since his father died.
“You’re spending Christmas with me, and I have a grandbaby on the way.”
“About Christmas…”
His mother put her hands on her hips.
“I was just thinking it might be better if we celebrated here rather than on the island.”
“I have to admit when you told me your plan, I thought it was awfully ambitious.”
“That means people would be coming here. We can keep it simple, though.”
“It won’t be any different than when your father used to invite half his unit over. In fact, your group is smaller.” She wiped her hands on a dish towel. “This means we’ll have to get busy. When will your sister and Zary be back?”
“I don’t know, and why do we have to get busy? I just said we can keep it simple.”
“Gunner,” his mother laughed. “We aren’t having a houseful of people over for Christmas and not decorate.”
Gunner looked around the main floor of the house. It looked plenty decorated to him. “What else is there to do?”
“You run up and bring the rest of the Christmas boxes down from the attic. We can finish everything but the tree. I think Zary might enjoy going with us to pick one out, don’t you?”
Gunner shook his head and started for the stairs. It was no use arguing with her about it. If he didn’t help, she’d do it on her own.
“Wait. Before you go, tell me who all is coming.”
“Same group as Thanksgiving, although I haven’t heard whether Striker or Mantis will be able to make it.”
“With Svetlana staying here, that leaves five bedrooms. Let’s have Razor, Ava, and Sally stay here in the main house. Plus Aine and Peggy. Oh, and Saylor, and the girls. We’ll put Savannah and Sierra in the den. I’m assuming Monk will be coming too.”
“They have rooms already at the Annapolis Inn.”
“They’ll be checking out before the end of the week.”
“I’m sure they’ll be able to tack a few extra days on.”
He remembered the look his mother was giving him from when he was a child. It always meant that whatever he’d said was preposterous.
“I guess that look means they won’t be able to.”
His mother shook her head. “Who does that leave? Just Dutch and Alegria? They can stay in the guest house with Odette. There will be plenty of room if Mantis is able to join us, and of course, Striker and Aine can always stay at his place in McLean and drive in if he makes it back before Christmas. They’ll probably want the privacy.”
His mother really wasn’t talking to him; it was more that she was thinking out loud as she scribbled no
tes on a piece of paper.
“Am I forgetting anyone?” she asked.
“First of all, how did you remember that much? How did you know it in the first place?”
“Oh, Gunner, how do you think?”
“Jesus. Will you quit with that look? I’m not ten years old, and I don’t have any idea. That’s why I asked.”
She patted his arm. “Sally and I talk almost every morning—”
“You talk to Razor’s mother every day?”
She patted his arm again. “Yes, but I wasn’t finished, sweetheart. I also talk to Peggy, and Svetlana and I are doing quite well with that translation thing you put on my phone. Although her English is coming along so well, I’m not sure how much longer we’ll even need it.”
Gunner shook his head.
“This is far more practical, Gunner. I’m glad you changed your mind about trying to ferry everyone to the island. Not to mention, the house there really isn’t suitable for a group this large.”
“I didn’t plan for everyone to sleep there,” he mumbled.
“It’ll be so much nicer this way, and we certainly have the room.”
After his father retired and they settled back in Annapolis, they’d had this house built on the ten-acre property he’d inherited from his parents. The original dwelling sat farther back from the bay and was about a quarter of the size of the one they were standing in. Once they finished construction on the new one, they turned the old one into a guest house.
At the time, he’d wondered why his parents needed a house with eight bedrooms plus three more in the original house, but he hadn’t questioned it. His father had worked hard his whole life, as had his mother. She deserved to live wherever and however she wanted after moving more than fifteen times in the course of his dad’s career.
He walked out to the screened porch that overlooked the outdoor kitchen, pool, spa, tennis courts, and the deep-water slip where his beloved Hinckley Bermuda 40, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, usually sat. It had been far too long since he’d had time to sail her. Maybe in the spring, he and Zary would join the yacht club and sail in the summer race series.
“There will come a time you’ll regret that name, Son,” his father had said when he first pulled her into the slip.
Mistletoe (K19 Security Solutions Book 3) Page 7