Then, again, he reminded himself, the last time had led him to Texas and eventually to Sharon Lynn. Maybe he ought to be rethinking to whom he owed a debt of gratitude.
“So, do the kid and I pass muster?” he asked, holding up Ashley. She was wearing one of her new outfits, a snuggly little yellow romper with lace trim and colorful ducks embroidered across the front. “She picked it out herself.”
“Oh, really? How did she do that?”
“I held up everything we bought until I got a smile out of her. This was the clear winner.”
“I see. Did you all discuss anything else while I was gone?”
“Just that we hoped that worried crease in your brow would be gone when you got back. It is.”
“I do feel better,” she conceded. “I’m certain everything is going to turn out the way it’s supposed to.”
It had been days since they’d heard anything from her cousin about the investigation. Maybe today they would get more answers. “Will Justin be at dinner?” he asked.
“Everyone will be at dinner, except maybe my uncle Luke and Jessie. It’s a long way from their place and they don’t always make the trip. Then, again, I doubt Jessie will miss the chance to get a look at the baby. She’s called every single day to ask about her.”
“All your cousins will be there, too?”
“Except for Angela, Luke and Jessie’s daughter. She’s living in Montana with her family. They get back for holidays or whenever a whim strikes her. Other than that, Sunday dinners are pretty well jam-packed with relatives. Don’t panic, though. You’ve already met quite a few people. You know my dad and Harlan Patrick and Grandpa Harlan. You’re working with them, so that’ll be a high enough recommendation for everybody else. You don’t have a thing to be nervous about.”
But he was. He hadn’t been this edgy going on his first date ever. Facing parental inquisitions had been nerve-racking then, but they hadn’t really mattered in the long run. Though Sharon Lynn couldn’t possibly realize it, this family gathering did matter. It was vital that he make a good impression. He needed the whole slew of Adamses on his side. Without that, he had a feeling he’d never win over Sharon Lynn.
“Let’s do it, then,” he said finally.
“You sound like you’re going to an execution,” she noted with amusement.
“Feels a lot like it, too.” He ran a finger around the inside of his collar, which felt as if it was cutting off breath. He scowled at her. “Don’t you dare laugh.”
“Never,” she promised, though she looked as if she were having to fight doing just that. “You might try thinking about the fact that I’m walking into that house with a stranger beside me and a baby in my arms. You won’t even be the center of attention. I’ll be plagued with more questions than a politician caught up in the middle of a sex scandal.”
“You really do know how to bring a man back down to earth.”
“I was trying to reassure you.”
Cord wasn’t reassured, but he pushed aside his own uneasiness to concentrate on hers. When they walked up to the front door at White Pines, he gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. “Ready?”
She shot him a brave little smile. “Hey, it’s only dinner, right? How bad can it be?”
Of course, dinner was the least of it. From the instant they walked through the door, they were being subjected to a mix of speculative glances and, in his case, downright penetrating glares. He was relieved when he finally spotted a familiar, friendly face.
“Cord, I’m so glad you could come along with Sharon Lynn,” Harlan Adams said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and guiding him over to speak to his wife. “Janet, you remember Cord, don’t you?”
She gave him a warm smile and shook his hand. “Of course. I’m so delighted Sharon Lynn brought you along today.”
“Thank you for including me.”
She shot an amused glance toward her husband. “Trust me, Harlan couldn’t wait to have you over. He’s already thinking of you as family.”
“Hush, Janet. Do you want to scare the man to death?”
“Just giving him fair warning.”
Cord grinned at her. “Not necessary. I think your husband and I understand each other completely.”
He wasn’t sure who was more surprised by his statement, but Harlan Adams recovered first. With a hoot of laughter, he slapped Cord on the back. “You need any help, son, you just come to me. I still have a little influence with my grandchildren, no matter how old and independent they think they are.”
“If you don’t mind, sir, I think I’ll just take it from here on my own.”
“Confidence, I like that,” Harlan Adams enthused. His expression sobered. “Just remember what I told you when you first came around. Sharon Lynn’s had a rough time of it. You’ll have to take things nice and easy.”
Cord wanted to grumble that if he took them much more slowly, he’d be standing still, but he simply nodded. “I’ve gentled a lot of skittish horses in my time. I figure a woman who’s been hurt is a lot like that.”
Harlan grinned. “I’m not sure Sharon Lynn would appreciate the analogy, but you’ve definitely got the right idea. Now you come with me. I want to get another peek at that baby you two have been looking after.”
“She’s the prettiest little girl I’ve ever seen,” Cord told him as they worked their way through the crowd surrounding Sharon Lynn. “Smart, too.”
“You sound a lot like a proud papa.”
Cord didn’t even bother trying to deny it. “Yes, I suppose I do.”
Sharon Lynn glanced up just then and met his gaze. A smile lit her eyes for just an instant and then she was distracted by the arrival of yet another relative.
“Justin,” she murmured in a tone that held both welcome and panic.
“Hey, Sharon Lynn,” he said, giving her a subtle shake of his head, even as he stroked a finger lightly down the baby’s cheek. “Hey, beautiful,” he whispered.
Cord moved closer. As if there had been some signal, the others slipped away, leaving Justin alone with Sharon Lynn, Cord and the baby.
“There’s no news, then?” Sharon Lynn asked after she’d introduced him to her cousin.
“Nothing concrete,” Justin said.
Cord thought he heard an unspoken warning in his voice. “But you expect to have something soon, don’t you?”
“It’s possible we’re getting close,” Justin said with a worried look at Sharon Lynn.
She swallowed hard, but she didn’t crumple at the news. “How close?” she asked in a breathless whisper.
“I’m meeting with someone in Garden City tomorrow who may know who the mother is.”
The color washed out of her cheeks. She turned suddenly and shoved the baby into Cord’s arms, then fled from the room. Startled by the abrupt move, Ashley began to cry. Justin met Cord’s gaze evenly.
“Here, let me take her. You go see how Sharon Lynn’s doing. Right now, I’m probably the last person she wants around.”
Cord handed over the baby, then went in search of Sharon Lynn. He found her in what was apparently her grandfather’s office, standing at the window, staring off into the distance. He doubted she even saw the beautiful rugged scenery. He stepped up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. She trembled at his touch.
“Don’t panic, darlin’. We’ve known all along this could happen.”
“That doesn’t make it any easier.”
Cord sighed heavily. “No,” he agreed. “It doesn’t make it any easier.”
Whether it was the evidence that he understood or sheer need, she turned and wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest and wept. Cord had to fight the sting of his own tears as he held her and let her cry.
When she was all cried out, he tucked a finger under her chin and tilted her head up until t
heir eyes met.
“It’s not over yet,” he reminded her gently. “This could be a false alarm. Or the mother could be incapable of caring for the child. We don’t know yet what this means.”
“I know but—”
He touched a finger to her lips. “No buts. Right now we need to get back out there and see how our girl is doing. It’s the here and now that counts, remember?”
He watched as panic flared when she realized for the first time that he hadn’t brought Ashley with him.
“Who has her?” she asked.
“I left her with Justin. He seemed capable enough.”
“He’d better be,” she said dryly. “He and Patsy have a little boy from her first marriage and one of their own on the way. Nobody’s better qualified to be a daddy than Justin, though. He’s totally unflappable. It’s ironic, really. His father—you met Jordan—was absolutely panicked at the idea of becoming a father when he married Kelly and adopted her daughter. That’s Dani.”
“The veterinarian whose house you’re living in?”
“Exactly. Anyway, Jordan thought he was totally unsuited for parenthood. Turned out he was a natural.”
“Seems to me as if all the Adamses are naturals when it comes to parenthood. I’ve never met a group of people more taken with babies than your family.”
“I know. It’s one of my biggest regrets—” she cut off the potentially revealing statement before its conclusion.
“What is?” Cord prompted.
“That I’ll never have a family of my own.”
“Why on earth would you say that?” Cord demanded. “You’re a young woman. If ever anyone was suited to marriage and kids, it’s you.”
She refused to meet his gaze. “I had my chance and lost it,” she said bleakly.
Before he could respond to that, she turned and walked away.
How? Cord wondered. How had she lost her chance and why was she so convinced that she would never have another one? If ever they were to have a chance, he had to know the explanation behind that despairing remark. How much longer would it be before she trusted him enough to tell him? At the moment, he was deeply regretting his promise to himself not to seek the answers wherever he could find them.
Chapter Seven
On Monday, still panicked by Justin’s announcement of a lead on the baby’s mother, Sharon Lynn refused to let Ashley out of her sight. Barely was the baby ever out of her arms, even as she worked at Dolan’s. She felt as if time were slipping away from her, as if she might turn around at any second and discover that the baby had vanished as quickly and miraculously as she had appeared.
Despite her best intentions, despite all the warnings everyone had given her, she had gone and fallen in love with the child for whom she’d been caring the past couple of weeks. Holding her, loving her, had been like a gift from God, a second chance to have the family she’d dreamed of.
How ironic that another woman had held the child—had given birth to her—and had still somehow managed to let her go. Had it been a sacrifice, an act of desperation, or had the mother been relieved by the very act that so terrified Sharon Lynn—letting go?
Even though she’d known from the beginning that her claim on the baby was tenuous, known that it could end at any moment, with every day that passed without a lead, hope had taken root and started to grow.
By Saturday when she and Cord had indulged in that totally impetuous shopping spree, she had begun to envision a future, one that included all three of them, because somehow she couldn’t think of the baby without thinking of Cord, too. As impossible as it seemed, it fit. It all fit.
And it was all make-believe. Justin’s words had been the proof of that. Ashley had a real mother out there somewhere, a woman who was entitled to her daughter.
No, Sharon Lynn thought fiercely. A woman who abandoned her baby in the middle of a blizzard had no rights. None. She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the thousand and one voices telling her that until she knew all the facts, she shouldn’t be making judgments. It was a lesson her grandfather had instilled in all of them.
“Wait until you know the facts,” he would say when one or another of them claimed some slight.
Sharon Lynn reminded herself of that now. All that really mattered, she told herself, all that could matter was that the baby remained safe, that she had a good life. If her family could give her that, then so be it.
It hurt, though. It hurt to think she might never see Ashley again, might never hold her or comfort her or watch her grow. She’d never imagined how difficult it would be.
“Are you okay?”
Cord’s quiet question startled her. She’d thought she was alone behind the counter at Dolan’s. The morning rush was over and it was another hour before the lunch crowd would begin straggling in. The last person she’d expected to see in the middle of a busy ranch workday was Cord, especially when he was so committed to making a good impression on his new job. One glance at his haggard expression told her that he’d slept no better than she had the night before, even if he had been back in his own bed out at White Pines, rather than on her sofa.
“What brings you into town? Shouldn’t you be working?”
“My mind wasn’t on my work,” he admitted. “Your father finally took pity on me and sent me on some errands before I could make a costly mistake. I’m pretty sure he intended that I wind up here. He said your mother didn’t like the way you sounded on the phone this morning.”
Sharon Lynn smiled ruefully. “Which explains why she was here an hour ago, claiming she had to pick up a few little things, even though she left without buying anything more than a cup of coffee.”
“I guess everyone heard the news yesterday, then. Once Justin said it, everything else going on out there pretty much faded into the background for me.”
“Believe me, that little tidbit spread like wildfire,” Sharon Lynn acknowledged. “Though everyone was very careful not to mention it around me.”
“I know they’re worried about how you’ll take losing Ashley if you have to give her up, but I got the distinct impression there was more to it than that,” Cord said, regarding her cautiously. “Is there something else they’re worried about?”
Sharon Lynn sighed. She knew he was fishing for an explanation for all the hints and innuendo people had no doubt been dropping ever since his arrival. Maybe it was time she simply told him why everyone tended to walk on eggshells around her. Why they stared at her sometimes as if she might crack like a delicate bit of old porcelain.
“I suppose there’s no reason for you not to know,” she said eventually. “Everyone else does.”
She hesitated, wondering if she could get the words out. For a long time now, she’d thought if she didn’t talk about the accident, never mentioned Kyle at all, the pain would go away. Of course, it hadn’t.
While she debated what to say, Cord remained silent, watching her patiently. She found that reassuring.
“I was engaged for a very long time.” She began slowly, then went on in a rush. “Last summer we finally got married.”
His eyes widened with unmistakable shock and, perhaps, something more, something that could even be regret. But his voice was steady, “You’re married? But where...?”
“I’m getting to that,” she said, her gaze pleading with him for patience. She drew in a deep breath before going on. “That night, leaving the reception, we were hit by a drunk driver. My husband was killed.”
She managed to get the words out in a matter-of-fact way, despite the raw emotions that were churning inside her. She avoided looking directly at Cord, fearful of what she might read on his face. She wasn’t sure whether to expect disgust or dismay or pity. She wasn’t prepared to deal with any of them.
“The damned fool!”
His sharp, angry words startled her into looking up. He reached for her hand an
d enveloped it in his. There was genuine warmth and comfort in his touch, but it was his obvious outrage on her behalf that meant the most.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” His gaze narrowed as a thought apparently occurred to him. “You’re not blaming yourself, are you?”
“I was driving.”
“What the hell difference does that make? The other driver was drunk. He was responsible, not you. There ought to be a special place in hell for people like that.”
She was stunned by his fierce tone. It was more than sympathy for her tragedy. That much was clear, but she didn’t know exactly what to make of it.
“Cord?” she whispered.
He blinked as if he’d been someplace very far away and had been suddenly drawn back by the sound of her voice.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I was just thinking about my father,” he said with stunning bitterness. “He was picked up more times than I can recall for drinking and driving. Around where we lived, everyone knew him. The sheriff’s deputies would pull him over, load him into their car and haul him on home. Maybe if they’d arrested him, thrown his sorry butt in jail, he would have sobered up, instead of wasting his whole life on booze.”
He glanced at her, then sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get off on that. We were talking about what happened to you. I just couldn’t help thinking that but for the grace of God, my father could have killed someone and left someone like you to grieve and blame themselves.”
“But he didn’t,” she reminded him. “That’s something to be thankful for, isn’t it?”
Cord sighed. “Yes.” He studied her. “That’s why you don’t drink, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “Just seeing a beer in someone’s hand is enough to upset me.”
“I should have guessed that night you told me you never kept alcohol in your house.”
“How could you? It could have been anything.”
“There are people who drink responsibly,” he reminded her. “A glass of wine with dinner, a beer while they’re working in the hot sun.”
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