“What did you think I meant?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t start evading the truth with me now. I can see in your eyes that what I said hurt you. Why?” At his continued silence, she muttered a harsh expletive he’d never heard her use before. “Cord, surely you aren’t thinking that my comment was meant to imply that that ceremony was more important than this one.”
“Well, it was, wasn’t it? You were marrying the man you loved and you were doing it for real.”
“And I lost him just hours after the ceremony. The two events will be forever linked in my mind,” she said. “Do you think I want a repeat?”
He winced at the explanation. “No, of course not. I didn’t think...”
She sighed. “No. Why should you? It’s not as if you’re supposed to be able to read my mind.”
But, oh, how he wished he could. He would give anything to know if there was some tiny little part of her that was glad they were getting married tomorrow, not just to protect the baby, but because of the feelings and chemistry between them, feelings she had thus far refused to acknowledge.
Don’t, he warned himself. Don’t start wishing for things that weren’t part of the bargain. If he did and Sharon Lynn could never live up to his expectations, if she could never let herself love him the way he loved her, then their marriage—however long it lasted—would be hell.
No, he had to take this one day at a time, just as he’d vowed to her he would. And every day he’d have to pray just a little harder that she’d learn to love him as deeply as he loved her. Perhaps then he’d finally be able to tell her that for him their marriage had never been just about the baby.
* * *
Sharon Lynn awoke on her wedding day with sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window and the aroma of cinnamon buns coming from the kitchen. She and the baby had spent the night at her parents’ house at White Pines, just as she had on the night before her wedding to Kyle.
She closed her eyes and leaned back against the mound of pillows, trying to remember how she’d felt that day. It was funny, though. The memories hadn’t faded, but the sharp, bittersweet feelings had. Cord was responsible for that. He was giving her a whole slew of new and tangled emotions to deal with, starting with this odd little flutter of anticipation deep in her belly.
She glanced over toward Ashley’s crib and was surprised to find her gone. Obviously her mother had slipped into the room and taken her downstairs to feed her in order to give Sharon Lynn more time to prepare for her wedding.
The ceremony was scheduled for eleven. It was barely eight now and she had the luxury of rolling over and going back to sleep if she chose.
Or so she’d thought. Pounding on her bedroom door suggested otherwise.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” Lizzy and Jenny called out as they opened the door. Dani was right on their heels.
“Shouldn’t you all be home with your husbands?” she grumbled as they surrounded her on the bed and waved a freshly baked cinnamon roll under her nose.
“That’s a fine welcome, when we’ve come bearing gifts,” Dani retorted, turning over not only the pastry, but a small, flat package that weighed next to nothing.
“I thought we’d agreed there would be no presents,” Sharon Lynn said, even as she regarded the gift with curiosity.
“These aren’t presents, exactly,” Lizzy explained, dropping her own offering into Sharon Lynn’s lap. “They’re tradition. Something old, something new, etcetera.”
“Don’t open them yet,” Jenny warned. “Not till your mom gets up here. She’s finishing up with the baby. That child does like to eat.”
“She has a perfectly normal, healthy appetite,” Sharon Lynn said defensively.
“Oh, don’t mind her,” Lizzy retorted. “She’s just trying to stir up trouble. It’s second nature to her. You would have thought marriage and a couple of kids would have settled her down, but it hasn’t happened. If you ask me, Chance hasn’t done nearly enough to tame her.”
“You should talk,” Jenny shot back. “Hank spoils you rotten, just the way Daddy did.”
“Ladies, ladies,” Dani soothed, in her traditional role of peacemaker between the sisters. “Let’s not forget what day this is. We shouldn’t be upstaging the bride with all this petty bickering.”
Just then her mother rushed into the bedroom, looking harried, with Ashley already sound asleep in her arms. “Have I missed anything?”
“We waited,” Dani told her. She gestured toward the package she’d put in Sharon Lynn’s lap. “Open that one first. It’s something blue.”
Sharon Lynn dutifully shook the box, then took her time about removing the fancy white paper and neatly tied bow.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, hurry up,” Jenny urged. “We don’t have all day.”
“This is her party,” Lizzy reminded her.
Sharon Lynn removed the top from the box, lifted the tissue paper and gasped. The bikini panties inside were indeed blue. They were scraps of lace and not much else. She flushed with embarrassment, even as she had a vivid image of Cord’s likely reaction to them. To bad he wasn’t going to see them, she thought with genuine regret.
“Cord ought to love those,” Jenny proclaimed as if she’d read Sharon Lynn’s mind.
“Any red-blooded male would love those,” Lizzy agreed. “And Cord is all that.”
“Girls, there is a mother present,” Melissa Adams reminded them, reaching for the panties. “Hmm, I wonder if your father...”
Sharon Lynn stared at her in shock. “Mom!”
“All right, Melissa,” Jenny enthused. “No wonder Cody never takes his eyes off of you, even after all these years. Girls, there’s a lesson to be learned here.”
Sharon Lynn snatched back the panties. “Get your own,” she advised her mother. “Just be sure Daddy has his heart checked first.”
“Okay, enough,” Jenny said, pointing to another box. “That one next. It’s something new.”
After the shock of the last gift, Sharon Lynn was even more cautious about opening this one, especially given Jenny’s daring. Sure enough, inside she found a couple of scraps of lace purporting to be a bra that matched those dangerously wicked panties.
“Are you sure any of this is for me?” she demanded. “Seems to me as if you all had Cord on your mind when you shopped.”
“Not me,” Lizzy said. “I’m the practical, down-to-earth one.” She handed over her gift to hoots of laughter. “Quiet, all of you. Now, Sharon Lynn, this is borrowed and don’t you forget it. Hank gave it to me on my wedding day and I want it back.”
Inside the box was a gorgeous heart-shaped diamond pendant on a gold chain. As far as she knew, Lizzy never went anywhere without it. Because Lizzy washed her hands so often at the hospital, she often left her wedding and engagement rings safely at home, but she always wore the necklace. Her fingers strayed to it again and again, as if it were a talisman. Sharon Lynn was deeply touched that Lizzy would loan it to her, even for a day.
“It’s for luck,” Lizzy said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. “That’s what it’s brought me every single day since I married Hank. I just wanted you to get off to a good start this time.”
Tears welled up in Sharon Lynn’s eyes. “Thank you,” she said in a choked whisper. Lizzy couldn’t possibly know just how desperately she needed a little luck these days, not just for the next few hours but in all the days to come when she and Cord would be battling to keep Ashley.
“I guess that leaves me,” her mother said, pulling out the box she’d tucked into the baby’s blanket. “These were your grandmother Mary’s. Your grandfather asked that I give them to you today with his love.”
Diamond stud earrings were inside the jeweler’s box. They weren’t the largest she’d ever seen, but they were the most beautiful—perfectly cut and shooting off sparks
of blue fire.
“He gave them to her on their first anniversary,” her mother explained. “They didn’t have much money then, because he was trying to make a go of White Pines. In later years, he gave her fancier jewelry, but these were always her favorites. I remember her wearing them on every important family occasion. Now you can wear them on the day you start your own most memorable dates with Cord.”
Sharon Lynn couldn’t prevent another flood of tears. Would they have been so kind, so generous if they knew the truth? she wondered. Probably so, because they loved her and whatever her reasons for marrying Cord, they wished her well.
“I love you all,” she whispered.
“Be happy, darling,” her mother said, hugging her fiercely.
“I’m going to be,” she said, surprised to discover that she actually believed it.
“Oh, my, look at the time,” Dani said. “We’d better get this show on the road. You can’t be late. Harlan Patrick says Cord’s nervous enough without being left to pace outside the judge’s chambers.”
The next few hours passed in a blur. The ceremony was little more than perfunctory with its hastily spoken vows and cursory kiss at the end. She and Cord had given in on having a small reception for the family, but not at White Pines where it had been last time. Sharon Lynn had put her foot down about that. She would have been terrified to get in a car and leave when it was over. Obviously understanding why she was being so adamant, Justin and his wife had organized it at their place in town.
“Let me make up for giving you such a rough time,” he had pleaded and she had agreed.
He and Patsy had spared nothing. Grandpa Harlan’s housekeeper had cooked a feast and the bakery in town had prepared a small but spectacular wedding cake. Sharon Lynn gazed into Cord’s eyes as he fed her the traditional bite of cake and almost gasped at the longing she saw in his gaze.
So, she thought, her grandfather had been right. Cord did love her. Please, she prayed silently, don’t let me let him down. Don’t ever let me hurt him.
Because there was no honeymoon to rush off to, the family lingered at Justin’s. Only when they could postpone their leaving no longer did Cord approach her.
“If we don’t get out of here soon,” he said, leaning down to whisper the words in her ear as if they were a loving secret, “they’re going to start to wonder if we’re dreading being alone together.”
In truth, this was the moment she had been dreading. Walking out of here as Cord’s wife, surrounded by good wishes and taunted by broad innuendoes about the night ahead, she knew she was going to feel like the world’s worst fraud.
“Buck up, darlin’. Let’s give ’em the show they’re expecting,” he said with a devilish glint in his eyes.
“What—?”
The word was barely out of her mouth, when he tucked his arm behind her knees and scooped her up against his chest. The short skirt of the white wool suit she’d worn for the occasion rode up her thighs. With an exaggerated survey of her bared legs and a wink at her family, he said, “If nobody objects, I’m taking my bride home now.”
“It’s about time,” Grandpa Harlan taunted.
“Cord, put me down this instant,” Sharon Lynn demanded, only to be tucked more firmly against the broad expanse of his chest.
“And spoil their fun? I don’t think so.”
He left the house at a pace that left no doubt that he was an anxious new husband. When they turned the corner out of view, Sharon Lynn once again pleaded with him to put her down. “There’s no need now. They can’t see us.”
“Doesn’t matter. I kind of like having you cuddled up here next to me.” He gave her a wry look. “Could be the last time I get this close to you tonight.”
Sharon Lynn sighed. The remark had been made in jest, but there was a longing behind it that touched her soul. “I’m sorry,” she said, the words a soft whisper against his neck.
“Don’t be sorry, darlin’. This is what I bargained for.”
“It’s still not fair. This is your wedding night.”
“It’s our wedding night,” he stated. “You said those vows, same as me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he insisted. “Nothing will change this being our wedding night. The rest will come when it comes.”
“You aren’t disappointed?”
He paused on the steps to the front door and his gaze locked with hers. “Disappointed? Yes. I won’t lie to you about that. I want you so badly I ache with it,” he told her with brutal honesty. “But I respect the deal that we made. I won’t push for more.”
For just an instant she wished things were different, but then he was crossing the threshold and lowering her to her feet so he could pay Patsy Driscoll, who had baby-sat Ashley all afternoon.
When the teenager was gone, Sharon Lynn took Cord’s hand in hers. “Let’s go in and see the baby. Everytime I’m away from her, I’m scared to death she’ll be gone when I get back.”
Cord gave her a look of complete understanding and walked with her to the bedroom. There, in the gathering dusk, they stood over the baby’s crib and stared down at her. She was sleeping peacefully on her tummy, her little bottom poked into the air. She looked so precious, so innocent to have been caught up in such a tempest.
Gazing at her, tears ran down Sharon Lynn’s cheeks. She was thinking not just of Ashley then, but of Kyle, and of another tragic wedding night. When Cord saw the tears, he gathered her close.
“It’s going to be okay,” he promised. “All of it, darlin’. It’s all going to be okay.”
There, with his arms around her, his heart beating sure and true, she could almost believe it.
The next morning they were served with court papers indicating that Hazel Murdock had formally filed for legal custody of her granddaughter.
Chapter Seventeen
On the day set for the custody hearing—April 1, of all days—Sharon Lynn felt as if her world were being torn apart. She couldn’t even look at the baby without tearing up. She couldn’t touch a bite of the breakfast Cord had insisted on making for her, hadn’t been able to eat much since the papers had been delivered the day after their wedding two weeks earlier.
Those two weeks had been consumed with preparations for the court date. Janet had taken on the case eagerly and no one was more fierce in a courtroom battle. Sharon Lynn should have found comfort in that, but right now nothing short of a positive custody ruling in their favor would calm her.
Cord had been wonderful. Though he’d continued to work at White Pines every day, he’d spent every spare second with her. He’d tried valiantly to anticipate her needs, to offer reassurance when she needed it most and a shoulder to cry on whenever she was overcome with panic. No man could have been more devoted. She would owe him for the rest of her life for standing by her as he had.
“You need something in your stomach,” Cord said now, watching with a disapproving scowl as she toyed with the oatmeal in her bowl. “Can’t you eat just a little?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t think I could keep it down.” She regarded him fearfully. “Cord, what if...?”
He touched a silencing finger to her lips. “Don’t. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it.”
“I can’t let her go with that woman,” she whispered. “She won’t be safe.”
“The judge will see that,” he promised, moving behind her to massage her shoulders. His touch was like magic, soothing away tension.
“Do we dare take a chance that she won’t?” she asked, unable to shake her sense of dread. “Maybe we should just pack everything up and leave Los Piños.”
His hands stilled on her shoulders. She could feel the tension that was now radiating from him.
“You don’t mean that,” he chided. “We can’t spend the rest of our lives on the run. What kind of home could we mak
e for Ashley, if we did that? What kind of example would we be setting? And more than that, what kind of man would I be if I encouraged you to leave the family you love?”
“But Ashley would be safe. That’s all that matters.”
“She will be safe,” he insisted. “The judge will leave her with us. I believe that with all my heart.”
“Then why do we have to take the baby with us to court?” she asked reasonably. From the moment she’d learned of that demand, there had been a terrible knot of dread in the pit of her stomach. “I’ll tell you why. It’s because the judge might decide to take her from us right then and there.”
Cord sighed heavily. “She could, yes, but, darlin’, I don’t believe that’s going to happen, not with the evidence we have about Hazel Murdock’s fitness, not with your family there to testify to the care we’ve given the baby. We have to have faith.”
Sharon Lynn had plenty of faith. She believed that God had guided Vicki Murdock’s boyfriend to her door that icy winter night. He’d been protecting the baby then. She just wished she could be as sure that the judge would be guided by God’s wisdom. It had been her experience that humans sometimes made terrible mistakes with tragic consequences.
“Come on, darlin’. It’s time to go,” Cord said quietly. “I’ll get Ashley.”
“No. I will.” She needed to hold on to the baby as long as she could, especially since it might be the last chance she ever had.
Cord regarded her with understanding. Before she could rush from the room to get the baby, he placed his hands on her shoulders and forced her to meet his gaze.
“Darlin’, I believe with every part of me that this will turn out all right.”
“I want to believe that,” she whispered. “I really do.”
“Whenever your faith starts to waver, put your hand in mine and hold on tight.”
She reached up and touched his cheek. “Thank you. I don’t know if I could have faced this without you.” She wished she could say more, wished she could say the words she knew he wanted to hear, but she was afraid to, terrified to admit that she had come to love him for fear he would somehow be lost to her, too.
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