by Gill, Tamara
He leaned down and kissed her, rolling her onto her back. "I'll be by your side, Princess. I promise."
Alessa smiled. "Good, I'm well-satisfied then," she said, spiking her fingers into his hair and pulling him down for another kiss. And another after that.
Chapter 14
Alessa felt like a new woman. A woman who had a delicious secret and one that made each day brighter and more exciting than they ever had been before in her life.
Tonight, they were to attend a musical evening held by the Dowager Countess Howe, one of Aunt Rosemary's friends. The evening would conclude with a light supper and drinks.
As promised, Rowan had remained by her side these past days, and when she could, she had caught snippets of time to be alone with him, but only fleeting.
It was not enough. She wanted more moments together, but how to gain them when Marco had become increasingly observant, not to mention present most of the time?
Alessa sat before her dressing table mirror and watched as her maid pinned up the last of her hair, the string of diamonds carefully woven in afterward to finish her dressing.
A knock sounded on her door, and she bade them entry. The breath in her lungs seized at who stood on the threshold.
Her sister.
The queen.
Alessa schooled her features to one of pleasure, for she was happy to see Holly, but could not figure out what on earth she was doing here in England. Panic seized her that something had happened to their younger sister Elena.
"Your Majesty," she said, standing and dipping into a deep curtsy. "Whatever are you doing here? Is Elena well?"
Her sister nodded, smiling. "Elena is very well," she said, walking over to her and bussing her cheeks before pulling her into a quick embrace.
"I'm so happy to see you, Holly. It has been months and months." But now that she knew Elena was well, she could not help but wonder why Holly had traveled to England. Had Marco written to her? Impossible. She would not have received a letter so soon. She had to be here on another matter of business.
"I am pleased to see you too, Alessa. We have missed you back home. But I do not bring good news, unfortunately. And I do believe it will stop you from being able to see out your Season here in London."
Alessa felt the blood drain from her face. "Whyever not? What has happened?" she asked, slumping back onto her dressing table stool.
"If you'll excuse us," her sister said to her maid. "Please bring up a fresh pot of tea. Thank you."
The maid dipped into a curtsy and left, closing the door softly behind her.
"Why can I not stay?" Alessa asked again. She had not had long enough with Rowan to convince him to remain at her side. To fight for a future together, to marry her if he would have her.
Holly sat in one of the chairs before the fire, and Alessa joined her. Something about her sister's demeanor, the seriousness of her tone putting her on edge. Something was very wrong and bad enough that her sister had crossed an ocean to fetch her back home.
"It is by chance that I'm here in London. Drew needed to return to England to settle some things relating to Sotherton Estate, and so we thought to spend some weeks in London with you. A surprise, as it were. But upon arrival, Marco handed me the latest correspondence to be sent to Atharia and informed me that there is a bounty upon your head. That to strike at me and the crown of Atharia, a gang of thugs wishes to harm you."
"Who would do such a thing?" Alessa asked. There were always threats against all of them. They had grown up living with vague reports of people wanting to do them harm, and they had learned to live with such threats. She knew coming to England, there were rumors of men loyal to her deceased uncle's plans who did not want her here. Her many guards were proof enough of those threats, even though they had done nothing to strike at her yet.
"Our uncle may be alive, Alessa, and still playing his deceitful games. It is said he's here in London and has had men at the ready to strike at you. Have you noticed anything peculiar of late? The feeling that you are being watched or targeted?"
She frowned. That could not be true. "But he died. We buried him. You sat with him as he took his last breaths."
Holly shook her head, seemingly as confused as Alessa was at this news. "I received word from him that he played us all the fool. That he did not die, merely staged his death. I do not know if this is true or not, but it is said he is here in England, hiding in the bowels of London, waiting to hit out at us as soon as he can.
Alessa's mind whirred at the news. There were always people who did not believe in monarchy, but to want her death was not something she had imagined at all.
"I cannot believe our uncle is alive, but of course, if it is true, then that changes my level of safety here in England. I know he will not stop until he gains what little advantage he can. Injuring me, killing me, will hurt you. That is enough for him."
"It is worse, Alessa, and please, do not become hysterical when I inform you of what I know."
Alessa steeled herself to hear whatever else there was to know about this threat. The only comforting element of her predicament was that Rowan was by her side. He was protecting her from those threats and keeping her safe.
He really was her own knight keeping his lady safe.
"Marco suspects that the security hired for your duration of stay in London has been compromised. That someone who is working for the Crown of Atharia, is in fact, under contract to murder you."
A cold shiver ran down her spine at the thought. She clasped her forehead, feeling a little dizzy at the idea of such a thing. All this time and people around her could have done her harm?
Surely not. All her guards had been caring, loyal, and above reproach.
Rowan has not always been so loyal, a small warning voice whispered in her ear. When she had first met him, he had been prickly and cold. But that did not make him a murderer.
She thrust the doubt aside. Rowan had grown closer to her because of their mutual feelings for each other. Not because he wished to kill her.
A man who made love to a woman as he had made love to her was not a murderer—a cold-hearted bastard paid to do others' dirty work.
"I do not believe it. It cannot be true," she said, her body revolting at the idea. "I trust the men around me. They would not do this. Your sources must be wrong."
"We have brought guards from Atharia to continue to secure us all and to keep a close watch on those already in service. If there is any doubt raised on any of them, we will know of it soon enough. But you must not tell anyone, just in case it alerts the guard we're trying to catch, and they flee."
Alessa nodded. "Of course. I will not say a word." Not even to Rowan. She would not disobey her queen or her sister on this.
She supposed this was not the time to tell Holly of her feelings for Rowan or what they had been about these past weeks. This new dilemma would muddle everything. Make it that much harder to explain or gain acceptance from her sister about the man she cared for above anyone else.
"I'm to visit an orphanage tomorrow in Seven Dials. Will this still be agreeable, do you think? I shall have the extra guards, but I cannot stop living my life. I must go on and do what I can for those less fortunate than us, even if others are out to strike us down."
Holly pursed her lips in thought. "I think it shall be acceptable, but we shall take a carriage without the family crest, and we shall take a route that isn't common, just in case our plans were leaked. I think that is best, but we can no longer stay for the Season. Drew's business will take a month at most, and then we shall return to Atharia, where I know I can keep you safe."
"But I have just started working on getting my women's shelter started. We haven't even started the renovations there yet. And as for the orphanage, my secretary is still trying to source the owner so we may purchase the building." Not to mention the thought of leaving England and never seeing Rowan again was like a physical blow to her chest.
Her sister threw her a consoling look, and the
little hope she had been holding on to, to be able to stay, fled. Her sister would not allow it, and she would not go against her queen. Not regarding her safety, at least. Holly had never led Alessa or Elena wrong.
"I'm sorry, Alessa, but you'll have to put in place here before we depart a person of business to oversee all the building works, at least until we have our uncle and his men under control and dealt with. I will not lose you or Elena to these thugs."
"Very well," Alessa said, hating the idea of leaving England and Rowan, who had already declared he would not follow her. Why though? Why could she not get through to him? Make him come with her, be with her forever.
"That is not the only reason I wanted to speak with you," Holly said, pinning her with a determined look that put Alessa on guard.
A shiver of unease ran up her spine, and she could not help but think whatever else they needed to discuss would not be an as easy conversation, as their last had not been. "What else did you want to address?" she asked, keeping her tone level and unperturbed.
"Marco tells me that you've formed a close friendship with Mr. Rowan Oakley, one of your guards. Is this true?"
Oh dear, so Marco had told her sister. Granted, he had waited for her to arrive in England, but still, this was a delicate matter, and she had hoped to have more time to work out every particular of their relationship so she could explain it better to her sister. Hopefully, in turn, gain her approval and acceptance of Rowan.
"We are friends, yes. I did not think that was against the rules. Perhaps Marco has forgotten his place," she added a little more tartly than Marco deserved. Of course he was concerned, he knew the rules just as well as Alessa did, and he knew when one of his men was crossing the line.
But what about her? She had crossed the line just as eagerly as Rowan had, and that could not all be laid at Rowan's door.
"Now, now, Alessa, no one is accusing you of anything inappropriate yet," her sister added. "But you have never formed such a close bond with any of your guards in the past, so it is odd that you have done so now. As it is, I thought to return to London to hear of your betrothal to Lord Douglas. Are you no longer interested in that gentleman? Has he injured you in some way?"
So many questions. Alessa took a calming breath, deciding to answer her sister's second query first. "Lord Douglas is a friend and will remain so, even if he does seek out your approval for our marriage. I do not feel romantically inclined toward him, and that is the end of it. I wish him very well in his future."
Holly raised her brow, watching her keenly. "And Mr. Oakley? Do you feel romantically inclined toward him?"
Heat rushed to her cheeks, and her sister sighed, reading her like a book. "Alessa, please tell me you have not fallen in love with your guard. You know I can never condone such a union. He's a servant. You're a princess. A marriage between you cannot occur, no matter how much you both may wish it."
Alessa knew this, of course, but hearing it made the horror of being separated from Rowan forever all the harder to bear. She could not do it, so the rules had to change. Her family's expectations had to alter to accommodate her feelings that were growing stronger and stronger every day toward Rowan.
"I will not give him up, Holly. No matter what you or anyone else says. Not if there is a future between us. He is the only man whom I've ever had any emotional sway toward. He makes me laugh and smile, and he protects me from harm. How could I not love such a man?"
"Very easily because you are not allowed to, Alessa. Why would you act on such feelings? Are you sure you're not merely swept up in his sweet words that you've never had said to you before? We all have lived a very cossetted life. You may be confused."
Alessa shook her head, knowing she was not confused at all. She saw everything very clearly now. "I'm not confused. I know what I want, and it's Rowan."
Chapter 15
Thankfully they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Alessa bade her maid enter and was informed that the carriage had arrived for their evening out. Her sister clasped her arm when she went to leave, wanting out of the room and away from the awkward conversation.
"We have not finished discussing this subject, Alessa. We shall address this matter further after you've returned from the orphanage tomorrow morning." Her sister stood back, letting go of her arm. "I hope you have a pleasant evening."
Alessa wasn't sure how pleasant it would be now that her sister had told her she could not marry Rowan. Not that Rowan had made any advances toward marriage, but one did not lay with and love as much as he had her and not want a future.
"I will discuss the matter with you then. Good evening," she said, walking from the room, glad to be going out after all, even if it were only a musical night.
The night passed pleasantly enough, although the abundance of guards outside the Dowager Countess Howe's home and near her person inside was obvious and, in truth, not sustainable. She would have to leave if only to be able to walk about without so many eyes upon her every moment of her life.
She did not see Rowan that evening, and she slept badly, nightmares and cold sweats keeping her awake. All too soon, it was morning, and she was downstairs, preparing for her meeting at the orphanage when her private secretary knocked on the library door.
"Good morning, Your Highness. Let us go over this morning's appointment if you're willing?"
"Of course," she said, gesturing for him to sit. "Tell me how the day will play out, if you will."
Her secretary studied his notebook. "You shall meet with the headmistress of the orphanage at first, and then you shall do a walkabout, meet the children, watch them in their classes before you bestow on them your donation."
Alessa turned, happy to be talking and thinking about anything but what her sister had stated the night before. That she could also see Rowan walking about in the gardens, keeping watch, was a second distraction she did not need. To see what one could not have was never pleasant.
"My plans have changed, Mr Todd and you will need to hire a competent manager to overlook both the orphanage and women's shelter’s refurbishment and construction."
Her secretary looked up, adjusting his spectacles on his nose. "You're leaving, Princess Alessa?"
She nodded, the pit of her stomach churning at the thought. "I am, and so regarding the orphanage, I will need assurances and updates that each child will be fitted correctly for new shoes for summer, including clothing for both school and play. We're to repeat the gift during the winter months, and I want the finest wool used for their winter cloaks. They must be kept warm and dry. I insist upon it."
"Of course, Your Highness," her secretary assured, jotting down numerous notes. "And I can hire a competent manager. Both the orphanage and shelter will be a testament to your kindness and an asset for those who seek help."
"I hope so," Alessa stated, watching Rowan speak quickly with Marco. She hated that she could not go and seek him out. Talk with him, touch and kiss him as much as she would like.
"Do you still intend to dine with the orphans at lunch?" her secretary asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
She nodded, looking forward to meeting the children and giving them a little treat at meeting a princess. She hoped that her trip would educate and provide the children with the belief that people did care about them and their futures. That they could be whatever they wished should they attend to their studies and work hard.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
Her secretary glanced down at his notes, a light blush stealing over his cheeks. She narrowed her eyes. "Is there a reason I would not be so charitable to these children? Is there something you wish to say to me?" she pushed him, wanting to know if anyone thought her too regal to be so charitable.
"Well…" He coughed, clearing his throat. "It's just unheard of that a princess, a sister to a queen, would dine with those so beneath her status. I merely want to ensure you are making the correct choice for both yourself and the crown you represent."
Alessa ground her teeth
, having not known her secretary held such arrogant, highhanded opinions of her and such low ones regarding children without a family. "I will be dining there," she said, her tone clipped and brooking no argument. "That will be all. Thank you, Mr. Todd," she said, ending the conversation. She took a calming breath, knowing she would come up against such opinions every day should she pursue Rowan. Their gazes met through the window, and she smiled. He grinned back, and she knew she could not give him up, no matter what anyone said or their opinions on the matter. She would fight for him, and she would get her way. She was a princess, after all. No one said no to her, and nor would Rowan.
* * *
A short time later, they arrived at the orphanage in Sevan Dials, making the premises just before lunch as planned. Alessa stepped from the carriage, Marco and Rowan at her sides as she took in the sight that beheld her.
Children had lined up on either side of the stairs leading into the building, holding little paper flags of her homeland. The sight brought tears to her eyes, and she spent several minutes talking to them all, thanking them for such a lovely welcome to their home.
They followed her indoors. The headmistress, a woman who looked to be in her thirties, came forward, dipping into a deep curtsy. The children behind Alessa chuckled at the sight of their teacher showing respect, and she smiled. "Miss Winters, I presume?" Alessa stated, reaching out to shake the woman's hand. "How lovely to meet you at last."
"Oh no, Your Highness, it is all of us who are blessed by your presence here today and your patronage. We cannot express how privileged you make us all feel, knowing we have your support."
Alessa looked back at the children, their little faces making her heart ache for the trials in their life up to now. How could so many be without family, without love? She hoped they were all happy here and well-fed and cared for. Her tour today would ensure they were and that care continued well into the future, but with a building fit for purpose.