by Sam Hall
“If I had said I would have you eating out of my hand when we first got on the quad, you would have said I was dreaming. Yet, here we are.”
“That proves nothing. Eating a grape isn’t the same as having sex. At the risk of sounding terribly provincial, I want to see where things go with Shaun before I start eating other people’s grapes.”
“You will and you should, but it won’t be just him. No woman here sticks to one guy. Shaun would probably think all his Christmases had come at once, for a while. Then he’d get paranoid, wondering if today’s the day you’re finally going to succumb, trying to keep up with who the most likely candidates are, and working out their plays before they even make them. We’re all reconciled to the fact that it's gonna be one girl and multiple guys.”
“Yeah,” I said, “but this is just your play. You want me to focus on your view of things, make me give you a chance to show what you have on offer.”
“I got no problems showing you what I have to offer anytime you like, princess,” he said, getting to his feet and pulling his shirt off in a few quick movements. Seriously, blokes were like trained strippers here, always on the verge of getting naked. He dropped the garment to the ground, revealing another well-defined chest. I almost rolled my eyes. Didn’t anyone have muffin tops here? He was broader and heavier in the shoulder than Shaun, with a smattering of dark hair that trailed down to disappear under his waistband. When he saw my eyes move his hand went to his fly, but I held my palm out to stop him. His hand froze, his eyes boring into mine.
He’s right, in a way, I thought. There was a part of me, a selfish, greedy part that I didn’t really like dealing with, that wanted to touch that different but beautiful flesh, despite the fact I still felt the ache inside me from Shaun. In some way, that was what prompted it. Being drowned in wave after wave of intense pleasure awakened me to the possibility of more. He was equally compelling physically, but he would be something new again. He would touch me, caress me, push me in ways Shaun hadn’t. Ways that may match or transcend the pleasure of last night. Years ago, I’d watched the movie Alien Resurrection. It was confusing and weird because I hadn’t seen much of the franchise before, but there was scene where Ripley descends into the Viper’s Nest. She lies there amongst a thrashing, writhing nest of alien monsters, the dark skin pulsating and twitching. It was both totally repellent and somehow, sexy. In some ways, that’s what this place felt like, a sea of beautiful male bodies to fall into oblivion with.
“You can touch me if you want,” he said huskily.
“No, I can’t,” I said, putting my hand down. “Not yet.”
He nodded, some of the tension going out of his body. He shifted his weight, his eyes meeting mine more naturally now. “You’re right, you know,” he said, his voice a low rasp. “I am making a play, just like anyone else, but I want to believe it’s a little different. Guys here, they’ll promise you anything you want, any position, any combination, any kink… there’ll be someone to give it to you. You can go the route Nerida did and try to exhaust that, but someone will keep on coming up with something new. But me, I’ll treat you like an adult, Julie, whether you want me to or not. I won’t bullshit you, won’t try and seduce you with pretty lies, try to keep you from seeing what’s really going on behind the scenes. There is so much I want to tell you, but I can’t yet. Just know, if you need the truth, I can give it to you.”
“At what price?” I asked.
“I already told you, we’re always looking for a way in. That’s mine. So, now that you’ve been able to resist the mesmeric sight of my chest and we didn’t end up as I hoped, rutting in the dirt during work hours, we better get back to it. You OK?”
“Yeah, but I’m going to feel really weird riding on the back of the quad with you.”
“Don’t worry about it, princess. I’ll enjoy it for both of us.”
We ended up going back to the admin sector, and he showed me the basics of quad bike riding so I could take one solo. He was right, there were guys who appeared outside doors and hanging around in the car park, watching, watching, watching. Buddy just ran in circles and barked at me. Some tried to come over and offer advice, but I waved them away. Slade smiled as I got back on the quad and attempted to follow his instructions better. His approach was blunt and definitely unique, but for some reason, I liked the lack of bullshit. While I had no way of verifying this, I felt like I was on more solid ground with him. I was dripping with sweat by the time he called it a day, putting the bike back in the shed and ignoring Ethan and his crew’s frank interest as I did so. Slade led me up to the bar in the mess hall, and I sculled the cold beer he put in front of me in two goes.
“Hey, tough day?” I turned to see Shaun standing there, looking a little worried.
“Hot, tiring, illuminating, glad you’re here now.” I swung my arms around his neck and dropped a kiss on his mouth. He gave Slade a nod and then turned his attention to me, initiating another kiss and letting it go as deep as it could in polite company. When I pulled away, I saw every guy in the immediate vicinity had his eyes on us. I shook my head and took Shaun’s hand as we headed to the tables. Guys filled all the seats around us in dribs and drabs, and as soon as my plate was put before me, several shot out and tried to take it to go and fill it.
“If you ever want a chance with me, put the plate down now,” I said in a low growl. The dish clattered on the table untouched. “Listen to me, and spread this to all your mates, as I will only say it once. Everyone needs to back right off. I’m not interested in anyone trying to push, persuade or seduce me into anything. If you want my attention, start talking to me like a human being, let me get to know you as work colleagues. I have no problems separating sex and love, but I don’t like fucking people I don’t like. Tonight I want to have a nice meal with Shaun, and I don’t want anyone disrespecting him or me by trying to muscle in on that. Are we clear?” There was a chorus of mumbles and grunts that I figured was as good as I was going to get. I turned to Shaun, who was smiling, a little surprised. “Do you want to get something to eat?”
8
Everything was a lot more low key after that. Shaun and I ate and talked a bit about our day, though I glossed over Slade’s conversation. I wasn’t ready to talk about that yet, I think. Finally, we put our plates in to be washed and wandered outside, hand in hand. I turned to him and drew him in for a kiss, long and lingering. “So, my place or yours?” I said with a grin.
Oh, no, I thought when I saw his face. It was that all too familiar look of guy apprehension that came from the knowledge that they were going to have to disappoint me, and they were really hoping there wouldn’t be a scene about it. I swallowed, I’d been so sure… He was happy to see me, held my hand during dinner, had returned my kisses. I took a step back, then another.
“Jules…”
“It’s OK,” I said, hearing a quaver in my voice and hating myself for it. I ground my teeth, determined to keep my cool, at least until he left. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“Jules, I’ve got to work. There’s a bunch of houses…”
“You don’t need to explain,” I said. “Go, and I’ll catch you some other time.” He sighed, glanced down at his feet and then shook his head. He walked off towards the admin sector and disappeared into the darkness. “What are we going to do, Bud?” I asked, kneeling down and scratching his chest.
“Julie?” I looked up and saw Finn was coming over. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah,” I said quickly, then realised I was heading back to my bungalow with just my dog and my clothes for company. I couldn’t even head out for a drive, I had no idea where to go. “Actually, is there any way to get a TV or a magazine out here?”
He smiled, “Come this way.”
“Now,” Finn said, standing outside the front of a building I’d never been to before. “Just know you’re always safe here.” I looked at him and the building behind him, listening for the thumping sounds of music and was that…?
“Oh, yeah, fuck me harder…” I heard someone call in a muffled whimper.
I narrowed my eyes. “Just what is this place?”
“It’s the social club. Don’t worry,” he said, and he opened the door and walked in. I stopped short of peering around the doorway, but was in every other way entering the room with serious trepidation. It looked like a converted shed with a bar along one side and a woman I’d never met serving beers, a couple of pool tables, a dartboard, small TVs on the walls showing various sports and races, and a huge flat screen TV showing hardcore porn with a semicircle of couches surrounding it. All full of men. I looked at the screen briefly and sure enough, there was one woman and whole lot of erect penises. This is beyond a way to keep the peace, I thought, this is the norm here.
As if by magic, all heads turned our way, almost at the same time. I felt the need to go straight back out that door, the combined gazes of twenty-odd guys and one chick more intimidating than I would have thought. “Don’t worry,” Finn said. “It’s through here.” He held out a hand and I took it, kinda wanting the moral support right now. He pulled me past all the punters over to another doorway on the far wall. Once we slipped inside, the bow chicka wow wow soundtrack dropped away, and instead of beer, I could smell musty books. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s the only way to get here. This is our library. The magazines tend to be a bit out of date, but beggars and all that. Anyway, pick something out, and I’ll show you the borrowing procedure.”
“Wow,” I said, moving towards the stacks without even thinking. It was a tight space, but there were shelves upon shelves of books. I walked past westerns and military and around to my favourite, romance. I ran my fingers along the spines, smiling. There were a lot of old faves there that I could totally re-read, but I was looking for something new. The erotic romance shelves seemed to be overflowing with books, I noticed with a smirk. I picked up a few I hadn’t read and put them in a pile without too much thought. It was only when I had a whole bunch I wanted to borrow that I realised I was going to check them out in front of my boss. I looked down at the books. They always had to make it real obvious what was inside the book, black covers full of pictures of rippling muscles and gasping women. Why couldn’t they have something nice and discreet? I thought darkly. I don’t exactly want to advertise that I’m going back to my place to read mummy porn to my superior. Though we did just walk past a bunch of blokes watching orgies together so…
I squared my shoulders and walked up to Finn, holding the books out, the top one had a cover with a naked woman writhing with pleasure sandwiched between two naked guys. Right now, I figured this could work as a training manual for this place, help me understand the dynamic here. “I’d like to grab these, please.” Finn’s eyes flicked down to take this in for a moment, but he only smiled politely.
“Over here is where you book them out.” I followed him, weaving between the stacks until we arrived at a lending desk where Brandon, the guy I’d met at Nerida’s, was sitting, feet up on the bench, reading a novel with a very similar cover to my choices.
“Hey,” Brandon said with a wide smile, tabbing his page and putting it down. “Got some stuff to borrow out? ‘Sheets of Fire’? Nice! There’s a great scene in there where the alpha… Sorry, I don’t want to spoil it for you. What else have we got? Some Felicity Blaze, she’s great, good characterisation as well as smoking hot. Ms Walters is always good if you want something sweet. Bree Carter, Highlander’s Whore… Just hang on, I reckon I have something you’ll love.” He disappeared through the shelves as I tried to make an intensive study of the patterns on the concrete floor. I was conscious of Finn standing beside me and couldn’t be sure he wasn’t chuckling quietly. Brandon arrived back with a book and put it next to my pile. It was called The Vixen’s Pleasure, and had a beautiful red-haired woman sitting on a throne with a smug smile on her face, a cluster of hot looking men lounging indolently by her feet. “Reverse harem, so plenty of guys and not like the old love triangles, she keeps them all…” He took in my wide-eyed look and stopped mid-spiel. “Look, I’ll sign it out to you, no pressure. So will two weeks be long enough?”
It was either going to be plenty of time, or not enough if I went full bonobo and decided I needed to get some vixen’s pleasure myself. I could film it and reduce the company’s porn bill. I rolled my eyes, only I could go to a smaller community and feel more like a provincial noob. “That’ll be fine,” I croaked out.
“Well, if you need more time, let me know,” Brandon said with a wide grin. He had a longer, leaner, more graceful look than many of the guys here, but that smile… He was still one of the hot guys. Belatedly, I realised I was discussing my guilty pleasures with men I worked with. Hot men I worked with. I watched him scan each book and then bundle them into a brown paper bag, just like liquor or porn.
“Thanks,” I said, dully.
“Not sure if you’d be into it, but we run a book club every Thursday. We sit and talk shit about the book of the week. This week is Vixen’s. Shaun comes sometimes.” His voice sounded hopeful, but I was busy trying to imagine a room full of muscly guys discussing the gender politics and geopolitical implications of erotic romance books. Though if that was where Shaun had learned his tricks… Fuck, I thought, wanting to smack myself in the forehead, maybe I just needed to walk around blindfolded so I could start treating the fellas here like normal guys.
“Sounds interesting,” I said politely. “I’ll let you know.”
“While we’re here,” Finn said, perfectly calm, the smug bastard. “Can we organise a TV and set top box for Julie? She has nothing at the moment at her place.”
“Zeke was supposed to have sorted that before she arrived,” Brandon said with a frown, jumping on his computer and shooting a quick email. “Probably was hoping she’d be forced to come down to the social club and watch the crap they got playing there.”
“The woman getting it in every hole?” I said. “No thanks, I’d rather go and stare at my walls.”
“I keep trying to tell them. If they made things appealing to women, other than Daisy behind the bar, they might actually get some feminine attention, but y’know. Be good to have more chicks down here.”
“Why do guys do that?” I asked, feeling bolder. I couldn’t very well get any more embarrassed, could I? “Watch porn together? Like, I understand if it was gay porn and you wanted to bone the guy next to you, but an extraordinary amount of straight guys seem to like watching girls getting fucked as a group. Aren’t they uncomfortable, all those hard dicks around them?” I looked from Brandon to Finn and back again, and was cheered by the fact they seemed to be looking embarrassed now.
“I got nothing,” Brandon said with a shrug. “Never something I’ve been into.”
“Company, I assume,” Finn said. “Guys get lonely here.”
“Well, thank you for the books, Brandon.”
“Anytime, I’m here most nights,” he said handing me my bag, his fingers lingering over mine. “If you ever want to talk books or need another recommendation…”
All of a sudden, the mood in the room changed. One minute he was this geeky book nerd, happy to help me find something to read, then the next those grey eyes grew hooded as they bore into mine, his fingers hot against my skin. Almost involuntarily, my gaze dropped to his lips, full and soft, and as if in response to my gaze, his tongue flicked out to lick them. For a second the walls, the library, Finn all dropped away, and I felt an almost full body flashback of the way Shaun’s tongue felt inside me last night.
“Thanks,” I forced myself to reply.
“Lemme know if you get into Vixen,” Brandon said with a smirk, nostrils flaring slightly.
9
I left the library in a rush, not even taking in what porn was playing now on the big screen. I stumbled out into the cool night air to where Buddy lay, panting in the dirt, clasping my books to my chest.
“Look,” Finn said, “if you’ve got nothing on tonight...”
“W
hat? You want to take me to the office sex club next?” I snapped out. I wasn’t sure why, Finn was unfailingly polite, though perhaps that’s what bothered me. I was gasping and blushing and stammering like a little girl with a very wet, dirty secret between her thighs, and he was always Mr Cool.
“Nah, that only runs on a Thursday. If you want me to make introductions I could…” I shot him a murderous look, and he burst out laughing. “Sorry, I was just being facetious. No, I was going to say did you want to come over to my place and watch some TV? I should have shown you where I live anyway, in case you have any issues, but I have a pretty impressive DVD collection.”
“What? Like what they’re watching in there?” I quipped.
“There’s some, if that’s what you’re into. No, I was thinking more…” Netflix and chill? my brain supplied helpfully. “…a good comedy.”
Such was my unstable mental state that I was both relieved and disappointed by his response. I was starting to wonder if sexually induced psychosis was a thing, I just seemed to be walking around constantly, horribly embarrassed and horny as fuck. It’s because you aren’t comfortable with what you want, my brain commented. I looked down at The Vixen’s Pleasure and thought that’s not what I want and I totally want to give that a go with as many guys I can find at the same time. I sighed, I was straight up torn. I knew this, this was a popular trope in romantic fiction. Female lead is offered sex or a relationship with a guy she didn’t like or thought was too good for her or acted like a wanker towards her or had a lifestyle incompatible with hers, yet her vagina throbbed only for him. Cue: Should I? Shouldn’t I? Should I? Shouldn’t I? ad nauseum until the leads finally fucked and went off into the sunset to live happily ever after. I looked into the bag at the Vixen. She didn’t seem too conflicted, more like the cat that got the cream, and not of the dairy variety. I glanced up at Finn who was waiting patiently, thinking god knows what while I indulged in this little rumination. “Yeah, sure,” I said.