by Ella M. Lee
“I think we should plan as though we are going. We can abort up until the moment we step through the portal,” I said.
“We’ll need to get some things done,” Nicolas said. “Fiona, you need to work with Keisha to get the portal location figured out. We should get some trinkets from Ryan—he has a few useful items for a tricky operation.”
“I’ll put a list of tasks together,” Daniel said, “but we will abort if we feel unsure about it.”
We stuck around for a while, suggesting things to add to Daniel’s list. Eventually, Nicolas’s phone reminded him of his next meeting, and he left. Sylvio followed Nicolas out, leaving Dan and I alone in the meeting room. He leaned back into the couch and pressed his palms to his eyes.
“Dan?” I said tentatively.
“Fi,” he said, his tone neutral.
“Sorry,” I said. “I know you’re unhappy.”
“I’m not,” he said. “This is just me being very focused.”
“Dan, I need your help here.”
He looked at me, startled. “What?”
“I know I’m not thinking straight about all of this. I need you to push back on me if needed. I trust you to see this more clearly than I can.”
“I will try,” he said, frowning.
I wondered if Daniel was thinking about his own brother. Was he wishing his brother was still alive? Was he jealous of me? Did he understand how hard it would be to see someone you loved after so long? Dan was such a sensitive and perceptive person that I imagined he felt all of that and more.
“Fi,” he said, “you know I would do almost anything for you. I’m trying hard to make this meeting work because you want it. But I’ll keep you in check. I won’t let you do it if it’s a stupid idea.”
“Thanks.”
He held his arms out to me, and I let him give me an encouraging hug. He knew exactly how to support me. Having a friend like him showed me how much I had been missing in my past.
Dan tightened his arms around me. “I know life is hard right now. When this is all over, when it’s safe, I’m going to take you to Borneo on vacation. We’re going to hike every day and get really drunk every night.”
“Sounds great,” I said, sighing. “I hope we’re not dead before we get a break like that.”
It was only 7:24 p.m. when Nicolas knocked on my door that night. He normally wasn’t free until closer to nine, so I let him in with a concerned look.
“Nothing is wrong,” he said. “I merely wanted to give you this.”
He handed me a large crumpled manila envelope. It was heavy and bulky. I dumped the contents onto my dining table. A phone clattered to the wooden surface alongside a wallet, a passport, a set of keys, and a small notebook.
I stared at the pile numbly. I recognized the pale-blue leather case on the phone, the black wallet, the sunset-orange notebook, the “I love New York City” charm on the keychain.
My belongings from when I was in Flame, confiscated by Nicolas after our assassination attempt.
I picked up the phone for a moment, studying it with a frown. I flipped through the passport with shaking fingers. I looked up at Nicolas. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his posture slightly tense and wary.
I cleared my throat. “I don’t need these things.”
“Regardless, I wanted you to have them back,” he said. “I felt strange and awkward keeping them in my possession given how your situation here has turned out. There is no reason for me to have them. I trust you completely.”
“I don’t need you to tell me that either,” I said.
My throat tightened. I understood that Nicolas saw this gesture as kind and considerate, but it was still far too easy to upset me with mentions of my past.
Nicolas shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean to upset you, lamb. I’m sorry.”
“It’s… it’s fine,” I said. “Whatever. Water under a bridge. Flame under a bridge?” I let out a choked laugh. “I don’t know.”
The phone was lying on the table face up. I had gotten it a week before leaving for Vienna. Violet had bought me the case, sky blue with a black cat on it, like the cat that I used to own when I was in Flame.
I put the fingertips of my left hand on the screen and called up my fire magic. With my skin hot and lit with flame, I pressed into the glass, destroying it, crumpling the plastic and metal and forcing my way through like it was nothing more than butter.
When the phone was merely a useless hunk of trash with five finger-sized holes through it, I picked up the passport, wallet, and notebook. I held them in both hands and ignited them, watching them burn quickly into embers, and then into practically nothing.
Ashes.
I brushed my hands off, scattering debris across the table.
When I looked at Nicolas, his expression was sad and pained. With gentle, tentative motions, he put an arm around my shoulder. I swallowed, my throat dry.
“I am sorry, lamb,” he said again, very quietly. “Don’t be angry with me.”
“I’m not,” I said. “That just isn’t me anymore. That life was gone the second I woke up in my cell. I knew that.”
“You are the culmination of everything you’ve experienced so far,” Nicolas said, his voice soft in my ear. “That isn’t your life anymore, but it is still part of you. It shaped you and defined you. It brought you here. The thread of Flame will always run through you, and the strength it gives you is one of my favorite parts of you.”
I sighed and pressed my face into his shoulder. “I don’t feel strong right now.”
“You are,” he said. He hesitated. “When I first met you, I wasn’t sure of your strength. I thought perhaps I’d been mistaken about you, that you were weaker than I had anticipated. But then I realized you do have strength, and a host of other good qualities, hiding under a mountain of anxiety. I have no quick cure for that anxiety, but I’ve seen you push past it in a great number of trying scenarios. That is impressive and remarkable. When you feel weak, I encourage you to recall how often you have been strong. That is always there in you, it simply needs a chance to show itself.”
I closed my eyes. Nicolas always knew what to say to me. He had a gift for nurturing and encouraging others, and I could see why he had become a commander and excelled at it.
“I don’t mean to pry or put any pressure on you,” he said, his tone still gentle and conciliatory, “but if you need to contact anyone in your former life, whether that be family or even former clan members, that is within your purview. I trust you to manage your relationships while keeping our interests in mind.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t want to talk about this right now. Instead, I collected the ruins of my things, stuffed them back into the envelope, and handed it to Nicolas.
“You can throw this out,” I said.
He caught my tone and the implication of my words: You can leave.
“Should I expect you later, lamb?” he asked.
I hesitated, but I knew the answer. “Yes.”
He turned to go, but I caught his arm. “Wait.”
I threw my arms around him, and the first pinpricks of tears appeared in my eyes as he collected me closer. He held me for a long time, running his hands over my back and letting his magic brush against mine comfortingly until I was calm and breathing evenly again.
There was a lot to do before Saturday night—well, Sunday at 11:30 a.m. for us here in Hong Kong.
As usual, Teng and Daniel took the lead on research. They looked into Meteor—recent clan activities, membership, spatial manipulators, anything they could find that was useful. They also looked into Cedar Bluffs—weather patterns, residency, magicians in the area. It was amusing to see my small hometown through their analytical eyes.
Daniel would have loved to find any excuse not to go, but he couldn’t. We were meticulous in our assessment of what could happen to us, yet we still couldn’t find any true danger. It didn’t appear that Mark was working on behalf of a larger movement in his clan. Met
eor wasn’t the type of organization to actually organize, and with Daniel’s and Nicolas’s skills, we could handle anything short of an all-out army of magicians—which we didn’t believe Mark had.
It seemed a lot like Mark would be true to his word.
Ryan lent us several magically crafted items that would be helpful, including several of the same things that were in the standard recovery kit I’d used the previous week—shield breakers and magical grenades. The most interesting item was something called a “trigger.” It had the ability to alert someone from afar, no matter what the distance, when you sent just a tiny bit of magic into it. Nicolas was going to carry it and activate it in case of an emergency. Most of the group would be standing by to react quickly, with Keisha poised to create a portal.
I worked with Keisha to figure out the exact portal location. We had deemed it too risky to go to Cedar Bluffs ahead of time, so we worked with maps and descriptions only. I was grateful she’d been so well trained and was such a great portal builder. Even in the six months I’d known her, she’d come so far in her abilities, and she was now able to create more portals, more quickly, and in more ambiguous scenarios.
On Sunday morning, I was nervous as hell.
“Daniel and I would never let anything happen to you,” Nicolas said, noticing my discomfort. “I want you to keep yourself together during this meeting. I’ve told you—you are strong. You’ve spent years becoming strong, earning what you are. Don’t let anyone take that away from you, for any reason.” His eyes were brilliant and intense. “Do you understand me?”
“Yes, sir,” I said, trying to smile.
“Good girl,” he said. “Call up that fire you have. You’ll need it.”
Chapter 8
It was 11:25 a.m. Our groups were assembled, looking tense and alert. We were in our meeting room, with our many limiting wards and silencing spells in place.
Teng was on his laptop at the center of the room. Cameron was next to him, also on his laptop. Ryan, Chandra, Sylvio, and Irina were arranged around the room, all dressed and prepped for a fight.
Nicolas was turned out beautifully in his usual black jeans and a black jacket, looking stern and calm. He had adopted his usual Water Clan persona—dangerous and deadly and unforgiving. If he was armed, I couldn’t tell, but he hardly needed a weapon anyhow.
Daniel was in all black too. He looked devastatingly unassuming with his messy hair and young features, betrayed only by the sheer amount of magic he drew around him. He fiddled with his watch absently. Yellow jade beads were looped around his other wrist, the only shock of color on him other than his coppery hair.
It was winter in Nebraska—cold and dry—so I had donned a sweater and boots and a thick scarf. I was wearing the rose-gold Cartier necklace Nicolas had given me after our first operation together, as well as my dragon zodiac bracelet from Dan.
“It’s time,” Nicolas said. He looked at Sylvio. “If I activate the trigger, you come in ready to fight. Otherwise, one of us will message for extraction. If we are gone for more than fifteen minutes without contact, you come in with extreme caution. All right?”
“Yes, Nico,” Sylvio said, sounding bored.
The others nodded. No one seemed nervous except for me—as usual.
“Keisha, go,” Nicolas said.
Keisha formed the portal, and my heart raced.
Daniel and Nicolas flanked me protectively, both with their magic flowing impressively around themselves. Their presence reminded me to posture my own magic, and I quickly pushed it into the seedhead shape that had been working for me lately.
Stepping through the portal was jarring. Suddenly, we were in the dark cold expanse behind my barn. It was so familiar to me, yet so alien. I hadn’t stood in this exact spot in years, but somehow it was as though I never left. The barn was huge and looming before us, and I glanced around briefly to see a scant sliver of my family’s house in the distance.
There was light snow on the ground, but the night was clear and not too cold. Light creeped out from the edges of the door in front of us—the tack room where our meeting was taking place. Mark had evidently beaten us here.
The portal dissolved behind us, and I looked to Nicolas. He surveyed the area, blinked several times, then tilted his head toward the door. He didn’t detect anything amiss.
I led us to the door and pushed it open.
My eyes went immediately to Mark. He was seated on a stool on the other side of the room, legs crossed at the ankle, relaxed. His magic was draped around him, and his demeanor was casual and confident. He was undeniably my flesh and blood. His features were mirrored in me, his heart probably still beat like mine.
A petite, pretty redhead sat to his left—the same woman who had escaped with him during Nicolas’s recovery. She seemed magically powerful, likely his lieutenant. She also watched him with the kind of dedication that indicated they were more than that to each other. That was a common pattern in Meteor—to be dating or married to your lieutenant, to be what they called “bonded” to another Meteor because strong emotions heightened the power of Meteor magic.
He smiled when he saw me, a lazy and cocky smile that I had never seen on him before. Another reminder of how many years were now between us.
“Fiona… and entourage,” he said. “I thought I said to bring your commander?”
“I did,” I said sweetly, rolling my eyes. I gestured to Dan. “Daniel Shing, my commander. But I brought Nicolas Demarais, too, in case you were confused about who you wanted to meet.”
“Huh,” Mark said, tilting his head. “Which one is the boyfriend now? Or are you fucking both of them?”
The lack of expression in his voice reminded me that I was dealing with a Meteor commander and not my brother. The Mark I once knew would have said that with disapproval, but right now he was needling me to get a reaction.
“Cheap shot, Mark,” I said. I wasn’t going to rise to any bait tonight.
He let out an amused huff and gestured to the woman at his side. “Evie, my lieutenant and fiancée.”
“Congratulations to the happy couple,” I drawled. “Was I going to get a wedding invitation?”
“If there’s a wedding at all,” he said. “Unfortunately, I might not last that long. I’m dying.”
I narrowed my eyes, trying to shake off the cold shock creeping through me. I searched his face for more detail, but his expression was guarded, as though he was trying to suppress any sort of interest or hope.
“Is that why you called me here?” I asked. “That’s too bad, but I buried you years ago. You’re merely an annoying ghost to me now.”
I was glad to watch him flinch at that. Seeing him right now hurt and aggravated me more than anything else. I tried to find the love I had once felt for him as my kid brother, but it seemed that had died the first time I thought him gone.
“I called you here because I’d like to make a deal,” he said. “I have something you want, and you have something I want.”
“Let’s hear it,” I said.
Nicolas had instructed me not to get distracted. The less time we spent here, the better.
Mark turned his gaze on Nicolas. “You. Nicolas Demarais. You were Smoke’s top researcher, possibly the best they had ever seen. You fixed yourself, and now I want you to fix me.”
Nicolas laughed coldly. He was in full-on commander mode, as frightening and distant as he had acted toward me on my first night in his captivity.
“What makes you think I have any desire to help you?” Nicolas asked, his hands spread.
“Oh, man, did you miscalculate this one,” I cut in. “You tried to kill him, and now you’re begging for help? As if that weren’t rich enough on its own, you weren’t smart enough to learn anything about Nicolas. I can tell you without even asking that he won’t do a damn thing for you.”
Mark didn’t seem fazed by my emotional reaction. “Denying me already, before you’ve even heard the fun parts?”
“Make your off
er, then,” I said.
Mark smiled. “I imagine you already suspect Derek Douglass is the one who hired me. Well, you’re right. I know you’re having a hard time tracking him down and cornering him, but I can give him to you on a silver platter.”
Nicolas, with his years of practice, didn’t react. He was too well trained. He stared down my brother without betraying a hint of interest or emotion.
“I want to hear the story,” Nicolas said finally, folding his hands elegantly. “Tell me how we all got here and what happens next, and perhaps I will consider your offer.”
Mark and Evie exchanged a look, some silent agreement passing between them.
“Take a seat, then,” Mark said.
With a tiny gesture, he used his magic to bring three metal stools to our sides. Daniel tensed. Meteor magic’s associated element was metal, and they could control it fairly easily, making any metal a dangerous weapon.
“I know you can read our minds, Auspex,” Mark said. “I know that’s why you want to hear my story. You’ll be listening for everything except the words I’m speaking, won’t you?”
Nicolas made a noncommittal palm-up gesture that could have meant anything, but it most likely meant: Probably. Why not?
Daniel sat, taking out his phone. When Mark eyed him suspiciously, Daniel said, “Just calling off the dogs. Unless you want to be dead sooner than expected?”
“I was almost dead last week, thanks to you,” Mark said. “Five against one, and the five were Meteor? You’re a badass. What’s your secret, Daniel Shing?”
“Being good,” Dan said.
I was amused by the attitude in his tone. Mark was, too, because he laughed at that.
“We aren’t here to make friends,” Nicolas cut in. “Tell us what we need to know, succinctly, and we’ll discuss your deal. I would advise you to make it as appealing as possible.”
Mark regarded Nicolas as though he were some sort of viper, something he didn’t want to mess with. Regardless, his eyes went back to mine.
“Fi,” he said, and I bristled to hear what I now considered Dan’s name for me on Mark’s lips, “I faked my death because—”