by Lea Hart
Rolling her eyes, she leaned back. “You have to start saying more realistic things. No one can live up to statements like that.”
He stood and winked. “Want to make a bet.”
“No, as a matter of fact, I don’t.” When he didn’t come back with a quick quip she sucked in a breath and knew that holding him off was going to be her greatest test.
One she planned on passing with flying colors.
Because no man got two chances at her heart.
Especially one who could decimate it so easily.
***
Zach took Cecily’s hand as they walked into the Hash House a Go Go and hoped she wouldn’t pull it away. When she gave him a questioning glance, he pointed to his ribs. “I’m in a little pain baby, and it makes me feel better.”
“Are you really going to stoop that low?”
“If it gets you to hold my hand, then yes.”
“You should be ashamed,” she replied as she walked into the restaurant.
Knowing there wasn’t a chance in hell it would ever happen, he kept his mouth shut and got them a table. Once they were seated, he leaned against the booth and let out a breath. “Hope you’re hungry, because they have great food.”
“You should be at home recovering from your injuries, not out gallivanting.”
“Just being in your company makes me feel a hundred times better.”
“You should’ve never gotten into a fight with Ford in the first place.”
“That wasn’t any fight. It was me showing a man that he can’t get between us, no matter how expensive his haircut or suit is.”
“He’s fine by the way.”
Frowning, he ran his hand down the menu. “I barely touched him, so there’s no way he wouldn’t be.”
“You broke his nose, Zach.”
“I know, since it looks like he’s going to try and stick me with the bill from his plastic surgeon.”
“How did that happen so fast?”
“I’m guessing his family’s fancy lawyer needed something to do, so the letter was drafted on Saturday and faxed to our offices.”
“What a mess.”
“Could’ve been a lot worse. And the fact I was able to control myself at all is a testament to all the work I’ve put in over the last two years.”
“If that was control, then I’d hate to see what happens when you lose it.”
Before he could respond, the waiter arrived and took their orders. Once he was gone, Zach took her hand. “I was jacked up from coming off the mission and the stupid prick running his mouth was the flint to my fire.”
“Meaning?”
“The guy knew better and poked me anyway.” When she looked away, he knew his answer did little if anything to quell her concerns. “Cecily, I know it’s my responsibility to keep myself in check no matter who or what comes along and I’m not saying the confrontation was anyone else’s fault but mine. However, Ford didn’t help himself when he said that shit, and he knew it. Why he decided to go up against someone like me is probably never going to be answered, but we both know he was spoiling for a fight.”
“Then it’s up to you not to give him or any other idiot one.”
“Which is what I do most of the time. The only goal I had when I walked into that place was to take you into my arms and hug the living shit out of you until you agreed to give me a chance to fix my mistake.”
“And what mistake was that?”
“Chasing after my brother and trying to be his keeper.” Their drinks were delivered, and he drank his juice quietly.
“It wasn’t a mistake, and I understand your desire to protect your brother.”
“Then what are you mad about?”
Turning, she let her eyes rest on his. “I’m mad that you didn’t turn out to be the prince you promised to be. I really wanted you to do all the things you said, and my mad is about my sad that it didn’t happen.”
“Do you think you’d give me another chance?”
“I don’t know, Zach.”
“What if I told you that I’m not going to take any more assignments?”
“Meaning?”
“I know Seth isn’t done with high-risk shit and I need to leave him to it.”
“Are you?”
Running his hand over his face, he nodded. “Yes, I am. And if I had any doubts, this last gig took care of them.”
“Is that why you decided to take it?”
“Not consciously.” Their food was delivered, and he studied his pile of pancakes, mound of biscuits and gravy and grinned. “This is the kind of breakfast that I’ve been craving.”
“What did you mean by ‘not consciously’?”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t pick up on that.”
“Just tell me, so we can move on.”
“I think I freaked out a little by how real our relationship was becoming and my brother’s stupid-ass need to take a crap assignment gave me the perfect excuse to take a breather.”
“Thank you.”
He lifted her hand and held it against his heart. “For what?”
“Being honest.”
“Always.”
“Are you going to tell me where you were for a month?”
“I can tell you in general terms, but that’s it.”
“Did you enjoy being out there?”
“I enjoyed using the talents and skills I’ve developed over the years, but I can’t live in that world anymore and hope to hold on to my sanity. It costs me too damn much to shut down my emotions, and honestly I don’t want to anymore.” He lifted her chin and let out a breath. “You pierced my nearly dead heart with that first smile and there’s no going back.”
“So you want to have a life on this side of sanity and see if it’s enough?”
“I’m guessing it will be more than enough, if I’ve got you in it.”
“If you ever do half the things you say, then it might be possible.”
“Baby, I’m going to do all of them, and then you’ll be mine forever.” He kissed her head and then picked up his fork. “We should eat because we’re going to need our energy for all those boxes.”
“You’re going home to rest after this.”
“Okay, I’ll just lay on your couch and supervise while I watch football.”
“You can sit on the couch and dust my books before I put them in the bookcase, and we’ll watch cooking shows.”
“You drive a hard bargain, woman.”
“I haven’t even gotten started yet.”
Smiling, he shrugged his shoulders and dug into his food, glad that she was willing to bargain at all.
He pushed his empty plate away and then wiped his mouth. “Was there something wrong with your food?”
“No, it was delicious.”
“Then why did you only eat half?”
“Because I’m trying to keep my weight in check.”
“You look perfect to me, so maybe you should just eat what you want.”
“Don’t try and sabotage my efforts. I worked really hard to get to a size sixteen and I’m not wasting it by eating too much.”
“I would never do that and I’m sorry.”
“Food and weight are a loaded subject for me and…”
“I’ll keep my mouth shut and just tell you how fucking sexy and irresistible you are.”
She laughed then covered her mouth. “I wouldn’t hate it.”
“Maybe I should show you what I mean, because that would really prove it to you.”
“Not yet, Zach. I need some time.”
He slung his arm over her shoulder and kissed her head. “Then that’s what I’m going to give you.”
“So what exactly did you do when you were on assignment?”
“I went to a small island east of China and spent some time with the locals.”
“And did they have something you were particularly interested in or was it just a sightseeing trip.”
“We liked the imperial art and the National Museum
, and the curator had a lot of interesting information to share.”
“Fascinating.”
“It sure was, and it led us to Taichung. Did you know it’s the gateway to exploring the island’s mountainous interior?”
“No, I sure didn’t. Do you think it’s a place you’d like to visit again?”
“Not in this lifetime or the next.”
“Is that because you wouldn’t be welcome or because you’ve seen enough to satisfy your curiosity?”
“Both. Definitely both.”
“I’m glad you made it home in one piece.”
“Me too, baby. Had a minute or two where it didn’t seem possible, so being here and having you next to me is something I appreciate the shit out of.”
“Are you sure you’re done with these trips for good?”
“One hundred percent.”
“Excellent.”
Looking down, he noticed she’d shredded both their napkins into a tiny pile and knew her easy words and calm manor were covering a whole lot of emotion that neither of them were probably ready to handle.
Silently, he promised he’d never do another thing to risk her goodwill. Not only because he wanted her trust, but because he wanted the good stuff that came from having a strong relationship. The only way to get that was to be home taking care of business.
And Cecily was the business he cared about most.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Cecily pulled into the garage, opened her car door and wondered why there was a trail of pine needles leading to the back door. Had elves broken in and delivered a Christmas tree, or just a big rascal?
Laughing at the possibility, she opened the door that lead to the house and heard holiday music. She mounted the stairs slowly and smelled something so delicious that her mouth was watering by the time she hit the top step. “You’re too big to be an elf.”
Zach turned and gave her a smile. “Turns out, Santa doesn’t believe in discrimination and gave me the gig.”
She ran her eyes over his red plaid shirt and did her best to ignore her heart tripping over itself. “And what sort of gig is that?” she asked as she set down her purse and briefcase.”
“The kind that brings some Christmas cheer to my girl’s house.”
“Please tell me you didn’t haul that tree in by yourself.”
Stepping closer, he took her hand. “My cousin Evan helped me, and we also brought all the boxes up from the garage that were labeled holiday.”
“You didn’t have to do all this.”
He bent and kissed her head. “As a matter of fact, I did.”
“I’m leaving for Seattle at the end of the week and won’t be here for the holidays.”
“About that…”
She turned and studied his face. “What?”
“Your phone rang while we were getting the tree set, and I saw that it was your mom, so I picked it up.”
“You did what?” she almost shouted.
“I figured a conversation with her was overdue since I missed thanksgiving and decided that it was as good a time as any.”
Cecily collapsed on the couch and sat back. “You broke into my home and then answered my phone?”
“Technically, I didn’t break in since we put in the security system and I have the code.”
‘That is a bunch of crap and you know it.”
“I’m going to have to respectfully disagree.”
She flapped her hands and let out a sigh. “So, how did your conversation go with my mother?”
“A lot better than I expected.”
Narrowing her eyes, she watched him sit down slowly. “And that means, what?”
“She’s willing to get to know me before she strongly advises you that I’m the worst choice possible.”
“Not sure how you managed that.”
“Apparently I can be charming over the phone, too.”
She closed her eyes and counted back from ten. “If I start yelling, don’t try and stop me.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied as he heaved himself off the couch and walked into the kitchen.
She watched him pour two glasses of wine and check something in the oven. “It smells amazing, by the way.”
“Alessi has been experimenting with some recipes and we’re the benefactors. We’re having a crab and artichoke manicotti tonight and a vegetarian lasagna tomorrow.”
“That’s very nice of her to share the bounty.”
“Tell me about it,” he replied as he returned and handed her a glass of wine and then sat down.
“Can you drink if you’re still on meds?”
“Finished them up, and I’m good to go.”
“You have a hole in your arm and can’t take a full breath, so you’re not good to go.”
“But close enough, so if you want to take advantage of me after dinner, then I’m more than ready.”
“I don’t even know if I still like you.”
He raised an eyebrow and then shook his head. “You still can’t lie, and I recommend that you don’t try.”
“You think I’m just going to forgive and welcome you back into my life with a couple of words and pretty promises?”
“No, but I hope that you’ll eventually give us a chance since we’re destined for one another and the only happiness we can hope for is with each other.”
She lifted her glass and stared at the Christmas tree. “All you’ve given me so far are a bunch of words, and I need time to see if they become more.”
“I know, and all I’m asking for is the opportunity to be together so I can do just that.”
“If I agree, then you have to promise not to push, no matter how long it takes me.”
“No problem.”
Narrowing her eyes, she tried to determine if he meant it or was just agreeing with whatever she said. Not able to get a read either way, she let out a sigh. “My mom didn’t call to speak with you, so did she tell you what she wanted to talk with me about?”
“Yes, and you’re going to be bummed, so don’t kill the messenger.”
Turning, she put her hand against her chest. “Just tell me.”
“Your nieces have the chicken pox and since you’ve never had it, your mom doesn’t want you coming home.”
“Chicken pox?”
“Yes.”
“But…”
“I’m sorry, baby. We can go after the New Year if you want, since they should be over the worst of it by then.”
“But it’s Christmas.”
“And we’re going to have an amazing one. Kelly apparently loves the holiday. Their house looks like a craft store exploded. There’s not a surface that doesn’t have some kind of decoration on it. She’s cooking dinner on Christmas Eve, and I told them we’d host brunch on Christmas Day, so we’re all set.”
“But we’re not together.”
“Yes, we are, and as soon as you forgive me we’ll be right back on track.”
Feeling herself choke up, she closed her eyes. “But I want my mom’s turkey and stuffing and…”
“We can make one if you want.”
“Not the same,” she replied.
He set his glass down and pulled her against his side. “I’m sorry, Cecily.”
“Why am I so emotional over this?”
“Because the holidays always do that.”
“How am I supposed to get us matching pajamas at this late date?”
“Baby, I don’t wear pajamas.”
“I know that, but you will on Christmas morning and they have to match mine otherwise we might as well forget the whole holiday.”
“Okaaaaay,” he replied quietly.
“Don’t act like this is the first you’ve heard of it.” She sipped her wine and wondered if they even made them his size. Standing, she pulled out her laptop, and decided there wasn’t a moment to waste. “What size do you wear?”
“Just get the biggest size they have.”
Nodding, she gave him a faint smile and goo
gled: matching pajamas. “We’re just going to have to do with what’s available and they probably won’t even be cute.”
“That’s okay.”
She watched him push himself off his couch and then walk into the kitchen as he tried to keep from laughing. “You think I’m crazy!”
“No, I don’t,” he replied as he opened the oven. “But I think it’s a hell of a sign that you’d be willing to match with me at all.” He glanced over her shoulder and winked. “Coordinating pajamas means under all that hurt you’ve got a big pile of love for me, and it’s only matter of time before you let it out.”
“It does not. And don’t try and read more into my holiday madness than there is.”
“Okay, dear.”
“You’re placating me.”
“Possible.”
“You can think whatever you want, but I’m having one damn holiday tradition if it kills me,” she mumbled quietly.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
“The manicotti is ready, so bring your beautiful ass over here and let’s eat while you decide what else we need besides new pjs.”
“I have to go to Arizona tomorrow, and I don’t know how I’m going to get everything done.”
“Give me a list, and I’ll have Evan help me.”
“And why would your cousin be willing to do that?”
“Because we gave him a hell of a job and family help each other out.”
Cecily slipped off her shoes and walked into the kitchen and sat down to a perfect meal of manicotti, Caesar salad and fresh rolls. “Zach this is so lovely.” Tears slipped down her face and all the emotion that she’d kept bottled up decided to set itself free. “I was so worried about you. Hardly slept and it…”
“Was awful of me to put you through that.”
“Yes,” she replied as she sniffed back tears. “I can’t do that ever again.”
“I know and don’t plan on a repeat performance.”
She pulled a napkin out of the holder and wiped her face. “I was doing so good. I don’t know why I’m feeling so weepy.”
“Fuck that, Cecily. You do whatever makes you feel better.” He kissed her head and inhaled a breath. “Cry, shout or yell. Doesn’t matter to me, just don’t shut me out.”
“I’m still mad.”
“I know.” Stepping back, he held her at arm’s length. “You can be as mad as you want, for as long as you want. It won’t change my plans of being with you every day.”