by Sarah Noffke
The room fell silent, except for the sound of the kittens burrowing inside the sofa.
“So those are some nice suspenders,” Liv teased Rory.
“Don’t,” he snapped.
“They are nice,” Bermuda said, glancing proudly at her son. “Doesn’t he look handsome?”
“Ummm—”
“Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t want to hear what you think of my son,” Bermuda cut her off, returning her attention to her son. “Maybe you should go and work on the chicken coop in the back, Ro.”
“You’re getting chickens?” Liv asked. “Won’t the kittens be a problem for them?”
“Not if they live outside in the front where cats belong,” Bermuda replied.
Rory scratched his shoulders and fussed with his clothes.
“Now, don’t do that. You’ll mess up your suspenders,” Bermuda scolded, circling her finger and drawing the kittens out of the sofa. Their claws tried to grip the floor as a magical force pulled them to the door.
“I don’t like the suspenders,” Rory grumbled.
“And yet, they keep your pants on your buttocks.” Bermuda forced the kittens out the door with a swipe of her finger, closing the door with a swoosh.
“Buttocks,” Liv repeated with a giggle, earning a frown from Bermuda.
“Is there a reason you’re here, magician?”
Liv couldn’t help herself, although she was admittedly not trying very hard to control her responses. She said, “Besides to see Rory pull the wedgie out of his tight pants?”
He closed his eyes as if hoping to transport himself to another dimension. He’d probably choose one with demons and fire-breathing dragons at this point.
“Do not think that I’ve so soon forgotten that you insulted me in the village of the giants,” Bermuda said to Liv.
This made Rory whip his eyes open. “Liv? You did what?”
Liv blinked, trying to remember what Bermuda was talking about.
Crossing her thick arms over her chest, Bermuda said, “You told me in front of my tribe that my old age hadn’t made me any more attractive.”
Rory stuck both his hands into his hair, pulling it loose from the gel.
“Oh, no, you didn’t.”
“I was pretending to be Decar Sinclair,” Liv explained. “I obviously didn’t mean it, but rather was trying to stay in character. Isn’t that something that Decar would have said to you?”
“Quite possibly,” Bermuda agreed, throwing her nose in the air and still looking offended.
“Well, I apologize if I offended you,” Liv stated. “I, of course, think you’re as beautiful as a spring rose.”
That was apparently not the right thing to say. Bermuda gestured in Liv’s direction as she glared at her son. “You see the disrespect that magicians show to us? The offenses never stop.”
“Wait, I meant that as a compliment,” Liv argued.
The three fell silent, Bermuda glaring at Liv, Rory staring at the floor like he was hoping to fall through it, and Liv teetering back and forth, wondering how to break the tension.
“Roses are considered one of the most unattractive flowers among giants,” Rory informed her.
“Of course they are,” Liv said dryly.
The uncomfortable silence between the three grew.
“Soooo…” Liv said, drawing out the word. “Is this a good time to ask you for help, Mrs. Laurens? I have a situation that could use your expertise.”
Bermuda threw up her hands, sighing deeply. “Of course she needs my help.”
“It’s really important,” Liv stated. “I mean, you don’t have to offer me any help, but if you don’t, I’ll be a fae’s servant for ten years, which will sort of stop our progress on that whole ‘finding the truth’ business. Your call.”
“Fine!” Bermuda said, thundering into the kitchen.
“Fine as in I should leave?” Liv called after the woman.
“Fine, as in I’ll help you,” Bermuda answered, her voice shrill.
“Oh, well, should I follow you?” Liv asked, looking at Rory, who refused to glance up from the floor.
“No!” Bermuda yelled. “I’m getting you crumpets, fruit, and some duck sausage. Otherwise, I fear you’ll waste away in front of me. Seriously, it’s hard to look at you without feeling your hunger pangs.”
“Thank you?” Liv said, uncertainty in her voice.
Rory glanced at her now, shame written on his face.
“So, you and Mum having fun catching up?” Liv dared to ask.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Yes, and thanks so much for suggesting that she come and live with me while we investigate.”
“You’re… you’re welcome,” Liv said, believing that Rory was close to murdering her.
“She told me about my pops,” Rory said in a low voice.
“And the secrets that she kept hidden?” Liv asked.
He nodded. Swallowed. “I guess I should be thanking you. I wouldn’t have known any of this or that this secret was this big, affecting the giants, if not for you.”
Liv didn’t know what to say to that. It was rare for Rory to show her any gratitude. “Your hair is…”
“Don’t.” He shook his head, which broke his curls free of the gel.
“You lot get over here and eat up before it gets cold,” Bermuda ordered.
Liv gave Rory an uncertain expression, but he ushered her forward. “Go on. I can’t wait to find out what you need her help with.”
“Oh, I think you can wait, but I like your attempt at sarcasm,” Liv said over her shoulder to him as Bermuda brought a huge tray into the living room.
When she set it down, Liv didn’t think she'd ever seen such a compelling spread in all her life. China plates were piled high with fluffy crumpets surrounded by jars of homemade jam. Mounds of artfully arranged fruits sat in beautiful blue bowls decorated with little white daisies, and still steaming were a stack of sausages, the smell of which had the kittens scratching at the door. There was enough food on that one tray to feed Liv for days.
“Don’t you have anything to eat?” Liv asked, halting in front of the table, which was covered with a lacy cloth and set with pink and white chinaware.
“Sit and eat, magician,” Bermuda ordered, not appreciating her attempt at sarcasm.
To Liv’s relief, a smile sort of cracked Rory’s face when she glanced at him. He urged her to the chair beside him.
“So, the thing is—”
“I said eat,” Bermuda reprimanded her, handing the plate of sausage to Liv. She pursed her lips and looked at Rory. “Magicians are the worst listeners. In all my dealings, they hear what they want to hear and ignore anything else.”
Liv buttoned her mouth shut, taking a sausage from the plate and handing it to Rory with a tense expression. He seemed to be urging her to remain quiet, but they both knew that wasn’t going to last long.
Bermuda piled a dozen small round crumpets on Liv’s plate.
“Thanks, but that’s probably more than I need—”
“Eat them,” Bermuda ordered, cutting her off.
“Although I appreciate the spread, I just had lunch and—”
“Ro, did I make myself completely clear to your magician friend? She doesn’t seem to understand me.”
“Thing is, I’m an adult, and I don’t do what other people tell me to, even when I need their help,” Liv said, pushing her plate away.
Bermuda grabbed the perfectly pressed pink napkin in her hand, crushing it. “Magicians have no idea how to be civil.”
Liv couldn’t stand it anymore. She stood abruptly from the table, still not as tall as the seated giants. “Will you please tell me something else that magicians do wrong? I really love getting this education from you.”
Bermuda’s face pinched with hostility.
“Ro, are you going to allow your guest to speak to me like this?”
Rory looked between his mum and Liv, like he was trying to decide. Then he shrugge
d. “Yeah, I think I am. There is really no controlling Liv.”
Bermuda picked up her napkin and threw it on the table, her anger palpable. “That’s it, Ro! Go out and work on the chicken coop. I’m going to have a word with this runt magician.”
Rory let out a heavy sigh. “No.”
Bermuda flinched. “What did you just say to me, son?”
“I said, no,” Rory stated simply.
Bermuda gave Liv a murderous expression, her face vibrating with anger. “Get out of here, magician!”
Rory stood beside Liv. “No, Mum.”
Bermuda looked at her son and Liv, confused outrage in her eyes. “What is going on here?”
Liv took a step backward, hoping to hide behind Rory if necessary.
“I don’t want to build a chicken coop,” Rory began. “I like my yard the way it is, and I buy eggs from Mrs. Anderson at the Farmers’ Market.”
“But she’s a mortal,” Bermuda complained. “I saw those eggs. They were small compared to the ones you could have.”
“They work just fine,” Rory said matter-of-factly. “And I like supporting her, because she’s a nice lady.”
“But she’s—”
“Yes, she’s a mortal,” Rory cut in. “You used to have more tolerance for mortals and others.”
“I think that your time living away from the village has colored your view,” Bermuda remarked.
Rory shook his head. “No, it hasn’t. If anything, I see things more clearly. I understand what Liv wants, and she’s right that we can’t keep living with so many divisions, which means you shouldn’t treat her like she does everything wrong.”
Bermuda’s mouth popped open, but she didn’t say anything.
“And another thing,” Rory said, taking down the suspenders, “I don’t like these clothes. While I appreciate your input, I like the clothes I usually wear and the way I wear my hair.”
He then pointed at the door, making it fly open. The kittens sprang into the living room from outside, led by Junebug. “And I like my kittens in the house.”
“But they are—”
Rory held up his hand, cutting off his mother. “Yes, they are mess-makers, but I don’t mind that so much. This is my house, and while you’re welcome to stay here always, you must respect the way I live” He clapped a hand on Liv’s back, nearly knocking her into the table. “And you have to respect my friends.”
Once Liv had recovered from coughing up a lung, she looked up proudly at Rory. He didn’t return the smile she gave him.
“Well, I didn’t realize I was exerting so much of my influence on your life, Ro,” Bermuda said, looking around the table indecisively. After a moment, she managed a smile. “Can we try again? I’ll try to remember your boundaries. I guess it’s hard for me not to take over when it comes to house and family things.”
Rory nodded, pulling out Liv’s chair and offering it to her. She tentatively took a seat, peeking at Bermuda as she did.
The giant studied Liv, pressing her lips together. She picked up a new napkin from the side of the table and folded it into her lap. “Well, shall we eat?” She shut her mouth suddenly and sat back in her seat. “I meant to say, there is food if you are hungry.” She grabbed a crumpet and spread jam on it, apparently trying to quell her emotions.
Liv gave Rory a sideways glance as he took a seat next to her. “This looks great. Thank you, Mrs. Laurens.”
“Now, you had a question for me? Go on.” Bermuda took a small, proper bite of the tiny crumpet.
“Right, yes,” Liv said, trying to compose herself after the strange conflict. “I was wondering if you could tell me how to get past a mermaid.”
As civilized as Bermuda was trying to be, she choked on her bite, the half-chewed food flying across the table and landing in front of Liv’s plate.
She eyed it and then Rory before looking at Bermuda. “So, this is going to be a piece of cake then, huh?”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Liv pushed her plate forward, covering the half-chewed bite sitting before her on the table.
Bermuda dabbed the corners of her mouth. “Now, dear, I appear to have misheard you. I could have sworn you said something about mermaids. What did you really mean?”
Liv nodded. “I meant mermaids.”
Rory pushed away from the table, covering his forehead with his hands.
Liv ignored him, focusing her attention on the giant on the other side of the table. “I read the section of your book about mermaids, Mrs. Laurens, but I didn’t find any strategies for getting by them. And actually what I need is to get something away from the mermaid.”
Apparently having lost her appetite, Bermuda slid her plate away. “No one in their right mind would try to get past a mermaid or take what they are guarding from them.”
Liv laughed. “That’s par for the course for me.”
“Mag—” Catching the glare Rory flashed her, Bermuda changed her approach. “Liv, this is quite serious. Mermaids have the prowess of the worst sea monsters. Sharks and whales have nothing on them. But to make it worse, they have the cunning of the most seductive and deadly women on Earth. I didn’t offer any strategies in my book for dealing with them because there are none.”
Liv deflated with defeat. “Well, I have to try something. I can’t just give up.”
Rory tapped his fingers on the table, the wheels turning in his head. “This is what you have to do for Rudolf?”
Liv nodded. “The mermaid is in the fountain in the House of Seven’s garden. I don’t know what she’s guarding, but she has to have been there for a long time.”
Bermuda, looking uneasy, reached for her teacup. “I fear that whatever she’s guarding is going to complicate things even more.”
“Knowing Rudolf, it’s a gem or a watch or some other strange treasure,” Liv stated.
Bermuda blew on her hot tea. “I’m not so sure. Mermaids are really only interested in one thing, and they will kill anything that tries to take it from them.”
Liv leaned forward and Rory did the same, both of them highly curious about what Bermuda would say.
She set her teacup down. “Well, isn’t it obvious?”
Liv and Rory glanced at each other, their faces full of confusion.
“It isn’t to me,” Liv said. “How about you, Ro?”
He rolled his eyes at her but shook his head. “Yeah, I have no idea.”
Bermuda dropped two lumps of sugar into her tea. “It’s mortals. Mermaids are obsessed with mortals. They only go after vessels that have mortals aboard. They’ll murder a magician or any other magical creature who gets between them and their feast.”
“Wait, then that means that mermaids want to eat mortals, but this one is apparently guarding something else because a mortal wouldn’t be alive at the bottom of the fountain,” Liv reasoned.
Bermuda nodded as she stirred her tea. “I agree, which means the mortal isn’t alive. That makes the most sense, because mermaids only eat their prey alive.”
“So the mermaid is guarding a bunch of bones?” Liv asked.
Bermuda looked at her son. “She does understand how magic works, right?”
“Barely,” he answered with a sigh.
“Hey, there,” Liv warned. “I’m learning. I don’t have the benefit of your many, many years on this Earth, old man.”
Again he rolled his eyes at her.
“Liv, if the mermaid is in fact guarding something, then it must be a mortal, probably in a preserved state,” Bermuda said, trying to take another sip of her tea. “She might be waiting for the mortal to awake. Mermaids, as deceptive as they are, aren’t the brightest. They tend to fantasize and pine for things they can’t have.”
“Well, then I just have to offer her something that she’ll like more than guarding a dead mortal,” Liv reasoned.
Bermuda clapped, the action sounding like a firecracker going off. “That’s actually good. You can bait her with a different mortal. Do you have one you can throw to
her?”
Liv shivered with disgust. “No! That’s horrible. And no. Just no.”
“Well, you need a way to distract the mermaid, and she’s going to be hungry,” Bermuda said.
“Not to mention dangerous,” Rory imparted.
“Yes, and the fact that you can’t breathe underwater will be another disadvantage for you,” Bermuda said.
Liv let out a heavy sigh. “Why can’t I just drain the damn fountain and watch as the beast flops around while I get the prize?”
Bermuda gasped with shock. “For starters, mermaids are endangered species. If you killed her, I’d be liable to report you to the Threatened Magical Creatures office.”
“Of course you would,” Liv said dryly. “Didn’t you just say that it was impossible to get past a mermaid? Why are they dying out?”
Bermuda shrugged. “Because, like I said, they aren’t smart. They end up in fishing traps or tangled up in trash in the ocean. Usually they see the nets as some sort of oasis.”
“Okay, so I have to get into the fountain, get past the mermaid, and retrieve a mortal’s body, which, by the way, I have no idea what it’s doing in the House of Seven,” Liv said.
“Stay focused on the problem at hand,” Bermuda commanded. “It’s none of your business what the body is doing there, but using a minimizing spell will help with carrying it to the surface.”
“Can I try to bait the mermaid with something else?” Liv asked.
“Only mortal blood will be of interest to her,” Bermuda answered. “However, the moment you slip into that fountain, she’ll attack you to defend her mortal.”
“Would a disguising spell work?” Rory asked.
Bermuda shook her head, taking another bite of the crumpet she had tried to eat before. “They can’t be fooled like that due to their sense of smell.”
Liv stood suddenly, an idea occurring to her out of nowhere. “But her sense of hearing would work the same way as other sea creatures’, wouldn’t it?”
Bermuda appeared perplexed. “Well, yes…”
“Then I think I have an idea that could work, but I need to get to John’s shop first.” Liv grabbed a crumpet and waved to the two giants. “Thank you for all your help!”