by D. J. Holmes
* * *
Katherine continues, “We also had something else in common, which brought us closer together as we talked about it for many hours, crying and consoling each other for our loss. Both of our mothers died when we were both very young. Throughout our marriage, we continued to comfort each other because we could understand how the other felt. Others could see the bond that we had because of it, and they were threatened.”
“Henry paid a lot of attention to me. I wasn’t use to having someone lavish me with gifts, and I was mesmerized with the fact that here was the King of England, the most powerful man in the world, and he was interested in me. He told me that he loved me! I had been thrown to the wolves too many times in my life… finally for the first time, after you left, I felt safe, with this man as my husband.”
“Though Henry was King, our worlds were not that far apart, Jon. Henry was brought up to be King after his older brother Arthur died. And since that time, when you and I played like we were the King and Queen, and we talked about what we would do for our people, I have always wanted to be able to do something to help the people of England.”
“Yes, as I remember, we both wanted to be able to serve the people of England.”
“Yes. And where Henry was brought up to be King, under his tutelage I would have become a great Queen. Through him I could learn languages. I could learn the process of Parliament I could learn the tactics of war. I could learn everything that I should have learned as royalty from my own family, while I was growing up. I could have been a very good Queen, Jon. I could have served my people, and brought peace to my country. But I guess that’s something that we will never know.”
“Katherine, did you love him?”
“Jon, there are many kinds of love. You know how I feel about you. Our love is an eternal love. The love that I felt for Henry was a love of gratitude and safety. That doesn’t mean that it was anything less than I felt for you. It was just different.”
“I felt wanted. I felt loved. Those things are very important in this life, Jon. Henry gave me everything that a person could desire in this world. I felt like I was in safe hands and protected when I was in his company. The love that I felt for this man filled the hole that I had in my heart. By being his wife, I could help every member of my family to once again be a proper member of royalty.”
“So, you were happy being his wife?”
“I was very happy, Jon. But I want you to know that if I wouldn’t have been forced to leave, I would never have been with anyone else but you.”
“I’m so sorry, Katherine. Neither one of us had a choice.”
“Destiny is a strange thing, isn’t it, Jon? If we wouldn’t have met, I would never have become Queen. If I wouldn’t have become Queen, you never would have come back here now, which brings up a point, it’s late and I need to tell my Gentlewomen and you other things. Would that be all right with you?”
“Yes, Katherine, that would be fine.”
Walking back to her Gentlewomen, Katherine says “My dear Gentlewomen, there is something that I would like all of you to hear…. While I lived in the dormitory with all my girl cousins, at my grandmothers, my relationship with my music teacher, Henry Mannox, was only brought on by the emotions that his music would bring out in me. I was only eleven years old then and he knew when I was sad, and missing my family, my home, and though he didn’t know it, when I was missing you, Jon.”
“His music calmed my sadness, raised my spirits and many times made me want to dance. I have always loved to dance. The music he would play, just for my private audience, was not like the music that he normally played in public. It was not structured by society, but came from his heart. I was grateful for his kindness, and loved him for it. He helped me heal from my many depressions, and feelings of being alone.”
“It has been said that I had a pre-contract for marriage with Francis Dereham, while I was also at my grandmother’s dormitory. Looking back, I can see where Francis worked very hard to gain my trust. We slept in the same bed, thinking of him as a brother. It was never my intention to be with him as a woman is with her husband. I trusted him so much that I felt completely safe when he talked me into sleeping with him with no clothes on. It was later that same night, after he had made me feel completely safe, that he quickly took me.”
“I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do. My religion didn’t allow this. If any other man found out, they wouldn’t want me. So when he called me his wife, I just played along and called him husband. It was because of my trust in him, and my naiveté, that he took advantage of me. I never wanted him for a husband.”
“Thomas Culpepper was my sixth cousin, and a Gentleman of the Privy Chamber in the employ of the King. Since we were cousins, we had a lot in common to talk about. There was never an adulterous affair between us. We just laughed, talked and played a lot of board games. I thoroughly enjoyed his company.”
“When we were first married, the King was with me all of the time, and he was very caring and protective making me feel safe and secure. But, he could only put his duties off for so long. Then once again, I was alone most of the time.”
“Jon, our summer together was one of the few times that I had anyone that I could be with. Other than that, I had been alone so much of my life that finally, after the King was busy, I was tired of being alone. I decided that I would be with my peers, dancing and gossiping so that I could feel like I was part of a group, rather than always feeling like I was alone. I love to talk, and laugh and I needed someone to be with me, but the King was always too busy with state affairs to be bothered with the attention that I needed.”
“I want you all to know that I loved King Henry, and was never anything but loyal to him. My pledge to him was, ‘No Other Will Than His’ and I lived by that pledge.”
“If there is anything that I have been guilty of, it is that I was a young naïve girl that loved to gossip, and harmlessly flirt with all of the young men. I never thought that they would take it seriously, knowing that I was the wife of their King.”
“Jon, I looked up to the night sky every evening for years, making my wish on the first star of the evening, that we would see each other as soon as possible. Everywhere I went, I looked for you, hoping that somehow I would see you. When I finally came to the realization that I would probably never see you again, I settled for the attention of these men because I had become a woman, and in this country women need protection.”
“In the end, I can see that no one was ever there for my protection. I was only used by my friends and by my family, to rise to a higher social status.”
“Even my faith didn’t protect me. It is because I am Catholic that I go to the gallows, and for no other reason. Those that are in power want the Church of England to stay supreme in our great country of England. If I were to stay Queen, the powerful English would be worried about returning to their original Catholic faith and losing their power. They knew that the King would do as I would request him to do, and that would be to return to his original faith as a Catholic.”
“It is because of my hold on the King that I am the pawn in this power play.”
“Katherine, I wish I could have been here for you.”
“You are here for me now, Jon. There is one thing though… I wonder would we have ever met as royals.”
“I don’t know, Katherine. The point is that we did meet. But it is the structure of our society that has kept us apart,” I answered adamantly.
“I agree with that. We can be grateful that we are finally together today. Jon, you have said that this is an odd time, but I will say to you that it is the right time. I need you to help me.”
“I’ll do anything that you want me to do, Katherine, just ask,” speaking from emotions deep within my heart.
“Jon…” Katherine was having a hard time formulating her feelings into words. “I… know in your mind that you are planning a way for us to escape, to find somewhere where we can live together forever. But, where wou
ld that be, Jon? King Henry has his armies all over the world.”
“If we were to somehow escape, armies from England, all of the other countries that are loyal to England would also have their armies searching for us. Our families and friends would pay the price. All of my servants that are with me today would be found and held accountable. They would all be tortured, trying to find out where we had gone. If we had children, they would continue to search for all of us, until they finally caught us. Then we would all be brought here to the Tower. We would all be tortured and beheaded. Would you want your future children, your family, your friends, James and Timothy, and everyone you hold dear to you tortured and have their heads impaled on London Bridge?”
“I didn’t think about all of that, Katherine.”
“I want to be with you more than anything I have ever wanted in my whole life, Jon. But how could we be happy when such evil would befall those that we love?”
“What can we do then, Katherine?”
Katherine hesitates again…. How can she ask this of someone that loves her as much as Jon does? “Unless we want to bring a lot of sorrow and pain to our family and friends for generations to come, I have to go through with this execution.”
“What?” I said with horror.
Katherine continues, “There’s no other way, Jon. Our paths have brought us to this point in time, and it’s something that I have to complete.” Katherine puts her arms around my neck and whispers in my ear, “I need your strength, Jon. I need you there. I need you to be my executioner.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Katherine repeats her request, “I’m asking you to be my executioner.”
“…You want what? How could you ask this of me! There must be some other way!”
Katherine continues to try to persuade me. “I ask this for myself, Jon. I have heard of horrible things that have happened to others when they are to be beheaded. I know that with your love, you will be merciful to me.”
“Katherine, I can’t,” I pleaded. “…Anything, but that!”
She walks closer to me, holds my face with her small soft hands and looks up into my eyes. “Jon, our love will last all of eternity. But my life has to end tomorrow. For the sake of those we hold dear, we have no other choice. My beloved, I’m not strong enough to go through this by myself. I need you to do this for me. I need your love to take me to a better world.”
My heart finally opened to see and understand exactly what she was asking me to do. “Katherine, what will I do without you?” I said, with tears coming to my eyes and wrapping my arms tightly around her.
Katherine responds by wrapping her arms around me just as tightly. “I will always be with you, my love.”
There was silence for several minutes, as I tried to process everything that Katherine had just said. Finally, coming to a resolution, looking down at her I said, “Katherine, I will do as you have asked. I’ll take James with me now, and we will prepare for tomorrow. Timothy, will stay with you.”
“Do you have to go now, my love?”
“If I don’t go now I’ll never be able to do as you ask.”
“It will be hard for me also, Jon. I’ve always only wanted to be with you. But it’s not our destiny in this life time.”
“Somehow Katherine, we will both get through this.”
“Will you ask one of your guards to bring me a beheading block so that I can practice how to place my head? I want to look prepared and composed, like a Queen should look, when I place my head on the block, waiting for the ax, in my last earthly act.”
“I will ask for one my love.”
Jon leaves with James. A few minutes later, James brings the block to Timothy, who has been standing guard over Katherine.
In her room, Katherine, has made this commitment to herself, “I will practice throughout the night until I put my head in the right position, so that I feel comfortable enough to be able to look at the crowd, and calmly move my head back to the block. This will be my last message to you my King, as I told you from the first day we were married, that I would live by the motto ‘No Other Will Than His.’ If it is your desire to have me beheaded, then I continue to stand by that motto… as I always have.”
Throughout the night, Katherine practices placing her head just right. Finally, everyone else is asleep. “Jon, my love I must leave you a message.” Going to one of her Gentlewomen she says, “I’m sorry to wake you, but I need your help in writing a note.”
“That’s fine, my Queen. I would be glad to help you.”
Setting down at her writing table, her Gentlewoman writes as Katherine dictates, what she wants written to Jon.
“Thank you, so much. You can go back to bed now.”
“Yes, my Queen. I will see you in the morning.”
“It will be soon, my dear Gentlewoman. Thank you for your kindness.”
As soon as Katherine is alone once again in her room, she quietly says, “Now where shall I put it. If the King ever finds out what I feel for Jon, his head will be on the block also.”
Looking around her room, she looks up at the rafters. “Ah, there is only one small place that the pigeons don’t go. It looks like it will be perfect.” As she climbs on top of the table she finally reaches the rafters and sticks the envelope tightly in the chosen area. Getting down from the table she goes to the window, and looking at the stars, she says, “You brought him to me. Now make sure that he receives my last note.”
Later that morning, February 13, 1542, at 6:45 a.m., a knock is heard at the door. The guards summon the Queen. “My Lady, it’s time.”
Knowing that her execution is scheduled for 7:00 a.m. Katherine asks her Gentlewomen, “Would one of you please open the door?”
“Yes, my Lady.”
Timothy is standing outside the door.
Looking toward the door, Katherine asks, “Where is Jon?”
He answers, “I don’t know, my Lady. He sent these guards to get you. Let me go and see if he is here.”
Katherine starts to walk toward the entrance, as the other guards enter her room. A strange feeling comes over her. Wanting comfort, she looks down at her hand.
“…My ring! I’ve got to have my ring!”
She turns around to go over to retrieve her ring and is stopped by a guard.
“My Lady, we have to go!” he says abruptly.
“I’ve got to have my ring. Please let me get my ring,” she pleads.
Timothy is now walking back and hears the commotion. “What’s the matter?” he questions.
“Timothy, I need my ring,” Katherine begs.
“Let her get her ring. What is it going to matter?” Timothy asks.
“My Lady, we have no time to spare,” the guard announces.
Katherine quickly runs to her bed, reaches under her mattress and retrieves her ring. “I couldn’t wear it while I practiced with the block, my love,” she says, quietly hoping that Jon would somehow hear what she said.
It was a somber procession as they walked to the court yard. “Timothy, did you find, Jon?” Katherine questions.
“Not yet, my Lady,” Timothy responds sadly.
Katherine looks all around the courtyard searching the crowd, “Where are you, Jon? You said that you would be here for me. I can’t do this without you. Please! Where are you?”
Walking on the Tower Green with her guards and Gentlewomen, “I can feel you near me, but I can’t see you.” For a moment, she feels the warmth of his hand on hers.
The guards push her forward toward the stage. She continues to scan the grounds and the crowd trying to find any sign of Jon.
Finally, she sees the stairs of the straw covered stage directly in front of her. Walking up the stairs, she pleads, “Jon, please I need you.” Once on the stage she sees the block…. Still standing, she takes off her cloak and hands it to one of her Gentlewomen. Scanning the crowd she takes a long breath, as she looks for any sign of Jon.
“Please, Jon. I’m here. I’m on the
stage at Tower Green. Please, I need you!” She says, pleading in her heart, while trying to look composed to the crowd.
He still isn’t anywhere to be found.
She looks toward the sky, silently asking for strength.
Finally, she hears footsteps quickly coming up the stairs, walking behind her and to her left, “I’m here my love,” he says loudly breathing like he is out of breath.
Katherine turns around, “Jon!” She says breathing a sigh of relief.
He looks into her eyes and then kneels before her on his right knee, holding the ax with his left hand. Bowing his head, he says, “My Queen, please forgive me.”
“I forgive you, Jon.” She takes the ring off of her finger. “Here is our ring. Remember, I will always be with you my love.”
Jon looks into her eyes. “Katherine, my love goes with you.”
She continues to look into his eyes. “And mine with you.”
Jon stands up. Katherine turns around to face the crowd. Though she has done nothing wrong, for the sake of her family, she asks for forgiveness.
“My good people please forgive me for my trespasses. All that I have been charged with was done by me alone. No one in my family had anything to do with my offence against the King…. May God be with you all.”
Katherine kneels down and puts her head on the block. Quickly turning her head to the left she looks up for one last look at Jon as he stands with the ax high above his head. Continuing to stretch his arms as high as he can to get the maximum blow, he looks down at Katherine with a determined, yet compassionate and questioning look, which states, “Are you ready?”
Katherine blinks her eyes once, signifying “Yes,” and quickly, but smoothly, repositions her head on the block. With the cut of an expert, the newly sharpened ax comes down precisely on target, taking only one stroke to behead his beloved Katherine.
Writing in first person Jon pours out his heart.
“With my promise fulfilled, I almost burst into tears when I saw her. Holding my breath, I quickly walked down the stairs and behind the stage. Leaning against the back of the stage, my chest began to feel so heavy, I couldn’t breathe. My hands went numb, and I felt like I was going to pass out.
“Am I in the middle of a horrible dream? How could I have done this to someone that I love? The only thing that is going to get me through this is the fact that she didn’t suffer like so many others in this position, at the mercy of their executioner, had been made to suffer. That is my only solace, my love.”
Regaining my breath, and finally the feeling in my hands, I looked at James. “She’s gone, James. Here is the ax that killed her. Destroy it!” I continued to aimlessly walk away from Tower Green, the most famous staging area for beheading those of noble birth, living in England.
“Maybe this was just a dream. If I can get away from this place, maybe I’ll be able to wake up and start my life with Katherine. We’ll be able to be together again. We’ll be happy like we were when we were young as, Mary and Matthew.”
“Jon, where are you going?” James yells.
I continued to walk without direction, saying nothing. At this moment I felt nothing but pain. “Life doesn’t really happen like this, does it?” I asked myself. Yet, remembering the campaigns that I had been on with my father, the one thing that war had taught me was, “Yes, things like this do happen!”
Since the day that I left on campaign with my father everything that ever meant anything to me, had been taken away.
Trying to recapture my life and to make sense of everything that I was experiencing, I got on my horse and rode as fast as I could. “If I can just get home, maybe I can come out of this horrible dream.”
Exhausted after riding for several days, I was finally home. But when I got within view of our palace I didn’t want to go in. I only wanted to be where I had been with Katherine.
I turned my horse around and rode to the meadow where we would meet. When I arrived at the field I yelled, “Mary,…Katherine, whoever you answer to now, where are you?” Please come out. If I can see you I know that I will be able to come out of this horrible dream.”
Looking as far as I could in all directions, waiting for a moment, straining to listen for her voice, her infectious laugh, or acknowledging that I had arrived with “Hello Jon, I’m over here.” All I could hear was the birds singing, but nothing, except silence came from my heart. I decided to quickly ride to the stream where we sailed our boats.
“Katherine, if you’ll just walk down the shore, like the day that we first met. Just walk down the shore, Katherine. Please, Katherine, walk down the shore toward me. I need you to help me get out of this dream!” I pled.
“This isn’t real! It can’t be,” I yelled. Confusion as to what was real was clouding my mind.
“I can’t see her. I can’t feel her. I’m beginning to forget what she looks like already. Nothing is the same! Please, Katherine, don’t leave me! I can’t do this without you. Please, please, Katherine, please,” raising my hands to the sky, “I need you!” I yelled, as tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
Crying inconsolably for quite some time, I finally came to reality and decided, “I’ve got to write everything down so that I won’t forget.”
I got down from my horse and hastily wrote everything that I could remember about our experiences as young children. I also wrote about how we were reunited.
Writing about Tower Green I began with, “History will record that you wore a simple black velvet dress to your beheading. But I will remember you wearing the red dress, as I knelt asking for your forgiveness, that I first saw you wearing in the Rose Garden at the Abbey. The beautiful red rose color reminding you of the courage that you would need to accept your fate.”
“I will remember your beautiful smile, infectious laugh, and love for life. I will remember the kindness, and respect that you showed to everyone you saw. I will remember your beautiful blue eyes and long flowing golden hair. But, what I will remember most of all, is our love for each other.”
“Oh, Katherine, how will I be able to live without you?”
Getting back on my horse, I continued to wander without any specific direction. I had no appetite. Without Katherine I had no reason to live.
Several hours later, exhausted from the most traumatic time of my life, and traveling many days to return home, I slumped over in my saddle.
Jon’s horse is going slowly enough that he doesn’t fall off. On the back of his horse, he continues his journey.