by Tucker, RH
Matt and Carter watch on, unsure what I’m going to say. I don’t mean to rag on their friend, who just so happened to be my best friend all those years ago, but it still annoys me. Nearly five years later and I still get mad about it. But hey, I was in love with him from the time I was five. Not that they know that.
“Okay, fine, he’s my neighbor. Has been since we were five.”
“Really?” Emma’s expression turns to one of surprise.
“Yeah. So, long story short, we were in eighth grade—”
“Eighth grade?” Carter interrupts.
“Shush. We were in eighth grade and I always thought he was cute, right? I mean, growing up we’d play outside, hang out, all that stuff. And there was our back-to-school dance, which I really wanted him to ask me, but he never did. He got all quiet and stuff around me.”
Emma looks on, awaiting my next words, while Carter and Matt stare blankly.
“So, I waited all week, but nothing. Then, finally, after class one day I walked up to him and said ‘Hey, Lucas. I don’t know if you’re going to the dance, but I was wondering if you want to go with me?’”
“Jeez,” Emma says. “Even in middle school you were a go getter, huh?”
“Damn straight, girl. Anyways, do you know what he did?”
“What’d he say?”
“No, he didn’t say anything. What he did. Rebecca Thomas was walking by and out of nowhere he grabs her arm, slings his around her like they were going out, and kissed her right in front of me!”
“No way.” Carter shakes his head.
“He kissed her?” Emma looks about as shocked as I did that day.
“Yes! Well, it was just a kiss on the cheek, but still! I was humiliated! I turned around and stormed off. Ever since that day, we’ve barely said anything to each other. And we still live right next to one another.”
“Okay, that is crazy and all, but come on, Jen.” Carter takes a drink of his Pepsi. “You guys were little kids. Middle schoolers. He either didn’t want to say no and hurt your feelings, because you guys were friends, or he didn’t know how to say yes and freaked out.”
“Carter, that makes absolutely no sense. The saying no part, okay, I can see that. But freaking out about not knowing how to say yes, so he kisses another girl right in front of me? That’s bullshit, even for an eighth grader.”
Matt shrugs. “Well, first day of freshman year I wanted to ask out Jackie Langston, remember her?” He points to Carter who nods. “But I freaked out. I walked up to her, said hi, and then told her I liked her friend. I wanted to say like her, but I chickened out and said her friend. I felt so stupid after that.”
“See?” Carter looks back at me, but I’m not buying it. “We’re guys. We do stupid stuff all the time.”
“Whatevs.” Taking a drink of my water, I collect my thoughts. “My point to all this was, there is no Lucas. Yes, I had a crush on him all those years ago, but I’m with Franco now?”
“What?” Emma gives me a blank look.
“What?”
“Jen, you two are together? It wasn’t just a prom thing?”
I can’t help the smile that sneaks across my face. I’ve liked Franco for a while now, but he always seemed uninterested. When I made prom court and Matt—who’s our student body president—finagled his fingers around who’d be partnering up with who on the court, he paired Franco and I together.
“I mean, it might’ve started out that way, but I like him.” I feel the blush running up my cheeks, before trying to get my emotions under control. I always keep them in check. I might flirt a lot. Some might even call me a tease, and sure, I can be. But Franco is the first guy in a long time I let my guard down around. The first one since Lucas that I’ve trusted.
“By the way, thanks again, Matt.”
“Yeah, don’t mention it,” he says coolly, but gives Carter a weird look.
I turn and look at Emma, who’s eyes dart away from our table, off to the distance.
“Guys, what’s going on? Come on, he’s totally hot and he likes me.”
Matt glances at Carter again, who looks at Emma, as if he’s getting permission to tell me something. She bites her lip and nods.
Carter shakes his head, not making eye contact. “Jen, are you sure this thing you guys have is … for real?”
“Carter! Emma!” I snap to the side, staring at her. “Come on, you guys, you know I like him.”
“I know, Jen.” Emma cringes. “It’s just that … well, Franco hangs out with Jeremy, and you know how that circle is.”
“Ugh!” I shake my head. “I can’t believe you guys.” Pointing at Carter, I wrinkle my brow. “You guys are going out and in love. And you?” I point to Matt. “You got your nerd love, or whatever, going on.”
“Hey,” Matt counters.
“It’s cute, Matt. It really is. I’m just calling it like I see it. Don’t I deserve to be in love, too?”
“Of course you do!” Emma wraps her arms around me, squeezing me tightly.
“Jen, you’re cool. I like you a lot.” Carter offers me a half-smile. “But Franco, I mean, he’s not on McCormick’s level of douchiness, but—” He stops and looks away, before staring at Matt. “How do I put this?”
Before Matt can answer, I speak up. “Just put it.”
“He can be a player,” Carter answers while Matt nods, staring at the table. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, he can be cool at times. Like earlier this year when McCormick and I got into it, he had my back a couple times. But, more times than not, he tends to think the way Jeremy thinks.”
“What’s that mean?”
Carter gives a worried look to Emma, as if he doesn’t want to say it in front of her. Then he takes a breath and let’s it out. “He’s a hit it and quit it type of guy.” Emma scoffs. “Sorry, babe, but it’s true. Franco likes to have fun, and when things get real, he gets gone.”
I cringe because even though Emma is my best friend, I still haven’t told her what happened after prom on Saturday night. I’ve hooked up with boys before, but only had sex once, and Emma knows about it. The first time wasn’t special. I just wanted to get it over and done with. But I didn’t tell her about me and Franco. What happened between us is special and I want to keep it to myself for a little while longer.
I can’t bring myself to believe what Carter’s saying. Franco was the perfect gentlemen at prom. And he didn’t even pressure me to have sex with him afterward. Yeah, we were fooling around at the hotel suite he and a couple friends got for the night, but every step of the way he was checking with me. Making sure that’s what I wanted to do. And I did. And it was perfect.
“Jen?” Matt stares at me, and I’m not sure when Carter stopped talking and if Matt added to his less-than-favorable description of Franco.
“Maybe he was like that before, but this is different, you guys.”
“I don’t know,” Carter says, giving me a worried expression, before smirking at Emma. “He’s got a little bit of the dark side in him. See, I used it correctly there, right?”
Emma giggles and nods, as Carter smiles proudly.
“Awesome, you got him to watch all the movies?” Matt asks Emma.
“Dude, I’ve seen Star Wars before,” Carter complains.
“Yeah, but only Return of the Jedi.” Matt gets a worried expression on his face, his hand coming across Carter’s shoulder. “Hold on, please tell me you started with Episode Four.”
“Why would I start with Episode Four?” Carter says. “What is it with you guys and these movies? Why wouldn’t you start in chronological order?”
Matt’s face drops as he stares at Emma. “Emma … no. You did not let him start with Episode One?”
She shrugs her shoulders, averting her eyes. “I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“You guys are insane!” Carter nearly screams. “Logic dictates you start with the first number, correct?”
“No,” Emma and Matt answer at the same time.
“Hey.” Emma waves him to stop. “You should invite her over to sit with us. I’d like to get to know your girlfriend a little better before school ends.”
“I’ll tell her, but she’s with her friends. Plus, she does a lot of video editing during lunch. I’ll let her know though, thanks.” Matt smiles, before looking back at Carter. “You disappoint me, Carter. I find your lack of faith disturbing.”
“What?” Carter shoots him a confused look.
Matt shakes his head and walks away to the other side of the quad, while Emma giggles. “The force is strong in that one.”
“Oh my God.” Carter rolls his eyes. “I’m surrounded by nerds.”
“Hey.” Emma gives him a playful scold.
“Nerds who I love.”
“As long as one you love more?” Emma singsongs.
He grins. “Of course, Matt’s my best friend. I love him the most.”
“That’s it, we’re breaking up.” Emma laughs, while Carter gives her kissy faces.
“Okay, if you guys are done being adorable.” I stop them. “And talking about Star Wars … I just want to make sure you guys are cool with him.”
“Jen,” Emma groans.
“I’m serious, Emma. Carter, you’re cool, but I seriously wanted to punch you in the nuts when you were still mystery texter-baller-whatever.” Carter cringes. “And Matt’s become our friend, and we don’t really hang out with his girlfriend, but that technically just happened, and I talked to her when she was on court. She seems cool.”
“Jen, where are you going with this?” Carter shakes his head at me.
“What I’m saying is, me and Franco are for real. And I want you guys to give him a chance.”
“Of course,” Emma answers quickly, giving me another hug.
Carter shoots a distrustful look at me but lifts his shoulders. “Fine.”
“Oh, speak of the devil.” I can’t help the smile that forms over my lips as Franco walks over to our table, coming up behind Carter.
Giving him my most flirty smile, I push my hair over my shoulder. “Hey.”
“Hey, you.” He smiles back at me and I melt. Literally, melt. “Sup, Carter?” He taps him on the shoulder.
“What’s up, dude?”
“Not much. Jen, I was hoping we could talk for a minute?”
He can’t see Carter’s face as Carter sends a worried gaze to Emma. Emma in turn looks at me, unsure herself. I, on the other hand, know exactly what I’m feeling. This is the moment. We didn’t really talk much afterward, and we certainly haven’t discussed our relationship status, but this is it. I know it. We’re going to become official.
“Sure.” I bounce up from the table.
Chapter 3
Lucas
I try to make it a point to avoid Jen at all costs during school. I have for all four years. Yeah, we’ve had run-ins every now and then, but every time she sees me, the annoyance on her face is always there. So, when she sees me walking with Matt at lunch, there isn’t much I can do. Telling him I’d talk to him later, I took off the other way.
I’m sure if I told Matt or Carter, they’d tell me I’m crazy. That I should get over it, or try to talk to her, or something. Believe me, those are all things I’ve thought about doing. And freshman year I actually did try, but she wasn’t having it. It’s incredibly stupid, but it’s gone on so long and now that there’s less than a month of high school left, what’s the point? I mean, we’re still neighbors, but she’ll be going to college and so will I. I’m going to UCI, but I don’t know where she’s going. Wherever it is, even if we do go to the same place, it’s not going to be like we’ll see each other much.
As much as I’ve tried to come to terms with our situation, I do wish it was different. Every time she rolls her eyes when she sees me, I wish I’d never did that stupid thing in eighth grade. I liked her. A lot. But she caught me so off guard asking me to the dance that I mumbled something and grabbed a friend and kissed her. Why? Why-why-why? I still have no idea. My only answer is because I was a dumb kid, nervous and embarrassed that she asked me, and I just wanted to get out of the situation. Even that answer still makes no sense.
And even as senseless as my actions were, and as hurtful as they were, since she must’ve at least liked me a little bit to ask me out, I’ve still never understood why it affected her so much. Was it stupid? Hurtful? Humiliating? Yes to all of those, but we were little kids. I’ve racked my brain over the years, trying to understand why she’d hold that over me for years on end, but I’ve come up with nothing. We were best friends. We hung out and played and talked about so much. Did that one mistake ruin everything? She still seemed like the same fun-loving Jen I grew up with, except when it came to me. It’s a mystery I’ve yet to solve and I probably never will.
Reaching around in my bag, I pull out my earbuds and plug them in to my phone, turning on my music. This has been my routine for the past couple weeks, ever since severing my ties with Jeremy. I’m still surprised at myself for calling him a dick, but it’s true. The dude is a grade-A douchebag, and even if I’ve been friends with him for years, I’ve always known he’s a jerk. First with everything that happened with Carter, and even though he wasn’t exactly making fun of Matt, he certainly wasn’t being a friend. So, cutting ties with him meant my friend-pool dwindled significantly. Matt and Carter are still good friends, but since they eat lunch with Emma and Jen, hanging out with them during lunch is out of the question.
What I’ve been doing is hanging out in the bleachers of our football field. It’s connected to campus, which is gated, so the faculty lets student hang out there during lunch. Not many of us do, so I chill on the shaded side, listen to music, and eat my lunch. I’m glad school is almost over, because if I had to do this routine for longer than a few more weeks, I don’t know what I’d do.
Walking past the courtyard, I turn a corner to head to the field, but I accidentally bump in to Jackson.
“Oh, sorry, man,” he apologizes as my phone falls out of my hand and hits the ground. Before I bend over to pick it up, he moves first. Cringing, he looks at the smashed screen and gives me an awkward grimace. “Shit. Sorry, Lucas.”
I shake my head. “It’s cool, it was smashed already. Doesn’t look like any worse damage was caused.”
“Oh, good.” He lets out a sigh of relief. “I was freaking out, thinking I totally demolished your phone.” His eyes roam back to my phone screen. “You like Sam Hunt?”
“Yeah?” I look at him, unsure. I like country music, but I know most people I go to school with don’t.
“Cool, me too.” He smiles as if we just became best friends. “I saw him in concert a while back. Jason Aldean, too.”
“That’s cool.” I nod and start to keep on walking. It’s not that I don’t like those artists, because I do, but we don’t really talk, and I don’t see much reason to start now.
“Hey,” he says, turning to follow me. “Did you have Mr. Sheraton’s assignment from this morning? I didn’t make the class.”
I let out a chuckle—partially because Jackson has to only be passing with a C-average with the number of classes he misses, and partially because we don’t talk much unless we’re on a team. “Yeah.”
“Cool,” he replies nervously. “Um, you think I could get it?”
It’s strange that he’s asking me. He sits next to Tim Paulson, who I know is his friend. Like, an actual friend. I’ve seen them hang out at lunch in the past. “I guess.”
“Thanks.” He glances around nervously and scratches the back of his head. “I’d ask Tim, but …” He trails off, averting his eyes.
I want to ask why he won’t ask him, but he seems hesitant. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
He’s obviously not. If we were friends, I might ask him what’s wrong. But, like I said, we’re not. Since I’m not an
ass either, I can still help him out with the assignment.
I pull my backpack off and reach into it, grabbing my book for the class. “Damn,” I hiss at myself. “I thought I had it with me, but I don’t. I left it in my locker and got my physics book instead.”
“Oh.”
He looks like his dog died and now I’m actually a little curious as to what’s up, but I still don’t want to pry. “What’s your number?” I say, before I give it a second thought. As he gives it to me, I save it in my phone. “I’ll hit you up later and text it to you. Cool?”
He suddenly seems like I’m his best friend again and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. “Yeah, totally. Thanks, man.”
“No problem.”
He turns around and it actually looks like he has a bit more pep in his step. I shake my head, a small grin hitting my face. Jackson seems like an okay guy, even if he’s always kept to himself.
Checking my phone, I realize I’ve got about fifteen minutes of lunch left. My locker is on one side of campus and my last two classes are on the other side. If I go to the football field, I don’t have enough time to sit and relax for a bit. And I don’t want to go after classes, because the student parking lot is right next to my last class, so I decide to go grab the book now.
Making my way over to my locker, I’m about to unlock it when I hear a someone talking around the corner. Jen.
“It was amazing,” she says, and I can hear the joy in her voice. “I’m so glad you said that.”
“Yeah,” the other voice answers. Franco. “And you’re amazing.”
“Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself.”
I roll my eyes and I really want to leave. I quietly spin the lock on my locker, hoping to get it open, grab the book, and leave so I don’t have to hear any more of their damn lovey-dovey talk.
“So, I wanted to make sure we’re cool.”
Jen giggles. “Oh, I think we’re more than cool.”
I raise an eyebrow because I’ve heard from Franco about his break-up tactics, although he says it’s technically not a break-up, since they’re just hooking up and not really going out. It’s sleazy but I never said anything. It’s not like he’s the only person who does it, whether they’re a guy or girl. But this is different, because it’s Jen. And I can tell from the sound of her voice, she has no idea.