by Tucker, RH
“So, you do just like hooking up?”
He grimaces, looking back down at the ground. “Yeah, sure.”
I feel like there’s more to the story, but I don’t push it because we’ve walked over to the girls. Sasha makes eye contact with me and smiles.
“What’s up? Sasha, right?” I say to her and she nods.
“Hey, Lucas.”
“The one and only.” I flash a grin, before motioning to Jackson. “This is Jackson.”
He extends his hand to Sasha’s friend and she introduces herself as Tara.
“Yeah, Jackson.” Tara looks as if she remembers him. “I think I had a class with you. You weren’t there much though.”
“Well, I had late nights, and sometimes couldn’t make it to school the next day.”
I give Jackson a look, unsure if he’s being honest or just trying to make up a line.
“Oh, really?” Tara smiles at him. “Late nights doing what?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He gives her that confident grin I’m becoming more familiar with, and I chuckle.
“So, I didn’t know you liked country music,” Sasha says.
“You never asked.” I grin.
“Right.” She smiles back.
“Who’s been your favorite so far?” Jackson asks both of them.
“Oh, Jade Miranda, for sure,” Tara answers quickly. “But, I mean, Jesse Franklin was awesome, too.”
“Yeah, I liked his set,” Jackson agrees, but I know for a fact we didn’t see Franklin’s set today because we were in a different tent watching another artist. I raise an eyebrow at him and he just gives me a look.
“So, what are you guys doing next?” Sasha asks.
“I don’t know, we just saw Gunther but―”
“But now we were gonna hit the honkey tonk dance bar,” Jackson interrupts. He raises his eyebrows, as if he’s telling me to go along with it.
“Yeah,” I agree.
“You girls want to join?” he asks.
“Yeah, okay,” Tara says for them both, and we all make our way over to the bar.
Even though it’s called a ‘dance bar’, it’s really just a huge tent with a big stage up front where bands play, and a small bar for drinks in the back. In between the bar and the stage there’s a huge, wooden dance floor. We saw the set list earlier and the different times the music starts.
“Come on.” Jackson reaches out and takes Tara’s hand and they start dancing.
The band plays a few fast songs, a few slow songs, and then a few songs that get everyone involved for line dancing.
I can move my feet enough for it to be considered dancing, but Sasha can definitely move. It’s a faster song with a banjo twang to it and she has no problem getting a little closer while we dance to the music. I don’t mind, but just like any dance I’d gone to in school, or any girl I’d gone out with, it’s not her I see. I’ve always felt bad for being with a cute girl, who’s obviously having a good time, and all I can do is pretend like I’m enjoying being with her. Because the back of my mind prickles up and I can’t stop thinking about Jen, especially after this morning. I wish she was the one with me right now.
Chapter 10
Jen
My mind wanders as I browse through a rack of pants. As hard as I tried this week, I can’t stop thinking about Lucas. He didn’t say anything to me to try and get me to stay that morning. I don’t know if I’m sad about that or happy. He took care of me and it felt so good to trust him. I wasn’t worried, either that night or the next morning, about him trying anything or saying something stupid. I just wish it hadn’t ended with me yelling at him.
Emma is starting to get supplies before school starts, so we go to the mall, spending some of her graduation money. I’m happy that the school she chose is close to home. Only Emma knows that I’m not going to college in the fall, everyone else thinks I’m going to Irvine Community. When Nancy finds out I’m sure she’s going to be upset.
“Hello, Jen?” Emma waves her hand in front of me.
“Huh?”
“What is going on with you? You’ve been blanking out all day.”
She stares at me as I try to dismiss it, waving my hand. She’s right, though. I don’t think I’ve thought about Lucas this much since the first week of freshman year, when I didn’t want to see him at all.
She’s still staring, so I try to change the subject, holding up a blouse. “This is nice.”
“Eh.” She wrinkles her nose as she looks at me.
Continuing to browse the rack of clothes, I nod, but I can feel her eyes on me.
“Okay, spill it.”
“What?”
“Jen …”
“Emma.”
I still haven’t looked over at her, which must be why she walks around the rack of clothes and stops in front of me. “Come on, you’ve been out of it this whole week. Are you telling me everything?”
My eyes finally jump up to meet hers. “What do you mean? Of course.”
She glances down, embarrassment creeping up her cheeks. “It’s okay if you, you know, did something with Lucas.”
“Ugh.” I roll me eyes. “Emma, don’t even.”
“What? All I’m saying is, I wouldn’t say anything or make fun of you, you know that. Besides, you guys have known each other forever, so it wouldn’t be totally surprising either.”
“We didn’t,” I spit out, harshly. “Okay?”
She turns away, a wounded expression flashing across her. “Oh, okay. Sorry.”
Leaning closer, I wrap her in a quick hug. “Emma, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. We didn’t do anything, that’s true. But I just …” What? Don’t know how I feel? Is that even what it is? I hated him throughout high school.
No, you didn’t.
Okay, I tried to hate him throughout high school, but that night just reminded me why he’d been my best friend growing up. Why I crushed on him for so long. Why I even thought I loved him.
“Okay, real talk?” Emma quirks an eyebrow.
“Okay?”
“Do you like him?”
“No.” The word comes out quickly, but I can’t meet her gaze.
Emma obviously doesn’t believe me, as she gives me an expression that says come on.
“Emma, I don’t. How could I?”
“How could you? Because you’ve known him since you were little.”
“Yeah, and then he―”
“I know, I know,” she says, holding up her hands to stop me. Turning around, she motions for me to follow her. “Come on, let’s grab some Jamba Juice.”
After grabbing our drinks, we walk around the mall a little bit more, before heading back to my car.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you.” She turns to face me from the passenger seat as we head back to her house. “Carter said there’s this summer bonfire happening in a couple weeks.”
“Oh.”
If Carter brought up the bonfire, that means Matt will probably be there. If they’re both there, then how likely is it that Lucas will be too?
“And before you give me an excuse, Lucas always kept his distance during school, so I don’t see why he wouldn’t there.”
“Emma―”
“Please, Jen. Come on, I don’t feel like you’ve been yourself in weeks. Months, even.”
“That’s not true.”
“Oh yeah, who’s the last guy you flirted with? Heck, let’s not even talk about flirting, who’s the last guy you made a comment about?”
I don’t answer, because honestly, I have no idea. I used to be much more carefree and out to have a good time. To joke around with everyone. But this last month or so things have gotten so out of whack, all because I let my guard down.
“I don’t know …”
“Please, Jen,” she begs, reaching over and grabbing my arm. “Look, I would’ve sprung this on you last minute, hoping to keep you from making an ex
cuse, but I also didn’t want you to make plans.” I turn to face her after parking in front of her house. “Come on.”
She’s giving me the puppy dog eyes that I’ve come to love over the years and I can’t say no, even though I really want to. “Maybe.”
She smiles. “I’ll take it. What are you doing now? Want to stay for dinner? My mom’s making enchiladas.”
Her mom’s food is super delicious, but I hesitate. Emma’s not the type to push me for more details about things, not like I am. But I don’t want to take the chance, despite knowing that.
“No, I’m gonna head home. Nancy should be home and I think she wanted to hang out.” I have no idea if my aunt is actually going to be home, but it is something we’ve done in the past.
“Okay.” She leans over to give me a hug. “Text me tomorrow, if you want to hang out this weekend.”
“All right.” I smile at her.
The drive back home is haunted, yet again, by thoughts of Lucas. I can’t help it since his house is right next to mine. Every time I drive down the street, or even just come outside, a ball of nerves bounces around inside. It’s only gotten worse since my drunken sleepover.
His mom comes out and walks over to an SUV in their driveway, waving at me. I force a smile and wave back. No matter what my issues are with Lucas, his family has never been anything but nice to both myself and my aunt.
I can hear the door of their SUV open and close, but I ignore it, not wanting to be called over. Heading inside, I find Nancy on her phone, and she smiles at me. I grab a soda out of the fridge and sit down at our table in the dining room, flipping through a magazine.
“No, it’ll just be until Monday. Yeah, I’ll be back in on Tuesday,” Nancy says as she sits down across from me. “No, I know, but I hate to leave you running the shop for the weekend at last minute.”
I peak an eyebrow, looking over at her. Nancy takes time off from the shop every now and then. Sometimes she’ll go out of town for a week for guest spots at different tattoo shops or for a convention. But I don’t remember her saying anything about doing something this weekend.
“All right, sounds good.” She smiles at me and now I’m curious as to what’s going on. “Okay, then. Yeah. Okay, bye.” She ends the calls and stares at me with a huge smile.
“What?”
“Go pack, we’re leaving in a couple hours.”
“What? Where are we going?”
Her smile suddenly vanishes, replaced with a look of apprehension. She bites her bottom lip, as the silver ring around it sparkles.
“Nancy?”
“Jen, you haven’t gone in years, and this may be the last chance you get before your life gets crazy with college and real world responsibilities.”
My mouth drops. “You didn’t.”
“Yes.” She nods. “Now go pack.”
I cross my arms. “No. Nancy, I can’t believe you. I haven’t gone in years.”
“I know, ever since before freshman year.”
“Yeah, and there’s a reason for that.”
“Jen, I know you and Lucas got all awkward―”
“No,” I interrupt, putting up a finger. “It’s more than that.”
“Well, of course, but it’s hard to know when you’ve never told me what happened.”
Shaking my head, my eyes stay locked on her, scowling. “It doesn’t matter. I haven’t gone on their camping trip since high school started and I’m not starting again now.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Nancy, please. You can’t make me do this.”
She sits there, staring at me like I’m crazy.
Lucas and his family have taken a family camping trip at the beginning of summer for as long as I’ve lived next to them. Growing up, it was fantastic. The campground is a couple hours away and they actually rent out a huge cabin, which is right next to a lake. Ever since we moved next door, Lucas’ parents invited Nancy and I to go with them and we had for years. Up until the summer right before high school started. That year I acted like I was sick. The following two years I simply said I didn’t want to go. By that time, Nancy could see there was something going on between Lucas and I, but she never pressed me for details. She ended up going last year and I stayed home, so I figured that would be the end of it.
“Nancy, I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
We sit there, staring at each other in a stalemate. I’d be content to sit and stare all night, not budging an inch. But her face softens as she unfolds her arms, looking down at her hands.
“Jen, I don’t know what happened, but I meant what I said. After this summer, who knows what you’ll be doing. I don’t want us to …” She trails off, still focusing on her hands.
“What?”
She takes a deep breath. “This is the last summer where you’re still my little girl.”
The words come out almost as a whisper. My aunt has always been there for me. As much as I don’t want to trust anyone, I can’t honestly say that about her. She took me in when my mom didn’t want me. She never brought up what my mom told her, and I’ve never told her that I heard her words. The words that I’ve never told anyone else. As much as I won’t trust anyone anymore, Nancy has always been the one I could. She wants to spend time with me, and as much as I don’t want to be around Lucas, there’s a bigger part of me that really doesn’t want to push Nancy away. Not after all she’s done for me.
“Fine,” I finally answer her, but now it’s my turn to keep my eyes averted.
I’ll just ignore Lucas all weekend. I’ll take books, find a little spot by the lake, and avoid him and everyone else until it’s time to come home. It won’t be that hard, right?
Chapter 11
Lucas
Plopping down on my bed for the weekend, I throw my hands behind my head. Our camping trip every year is a nice getaway. Two hours away from the city, it’s in a nice country area with a huge lake and hiking trails. And while the summer camping trip happens every year, it’s not the only one. We’ve taken them in the winter, a couple times around Christmas, and a few during spring break. I always lay claim to the first bedroom, other than the master room, which we all know belongs to my parents.
The last couple of years, Jen’s aunt has met up with us, so I’m expecting her to show up again. Jen’s been a no show the last four years, so I know we won’t have any tense situations this weekend. Not that I wouldn’t give anything for her to show up. Because ever since that morning my mind’s been buzzing about what she meant. And I still can’t forget how it felt to hold her as she slept.
I’m not doing myself any favors continuing to think about any of that. A shirt hits my face and I smell the all too familiar, and disgusting, body odor of my brother.
“Gross, man.” I flip the shirt off my face, looking up at him as he stands in the doorway of my bedroom for the weekend.
“Come, let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“Mom and Dad aren’t gonna be here for probably another hour. Uncle Howard just got here, so let’s go help them with their bags.”
I shoot him a suspicious look. “You’re being a little too brotherly.”
“I saw these girls near the entrance of the campground when we pulled in.”
“There it is.”
“Let’s go help them with their bags and drag Johnny along.”
“Rich, Johnny just turned sixteen. You’re already trying to defile him?” I laugh.
“Hey, you turned out okay.”
Rolling my eyes, I grab my hat off the bed. “Fine.”
After helping our aunt and uncle with their bags―and the required hugging from our aunt―we head toward the campground entrance, Rich motioning to Johnny to follow us along.
“What’s up, guys?” Johnny says eagerly, a huge grin across his face, as he holds a football Rich asked him to bring.
Two years younger than me and six years younger than
Rich, Johnny’s always looked up to us like older brothers. And whereas I’ve always thought of Rich as my ‘cool big brother’, Johnny practically worships the guy. So, I do understand his giddiness and try not to make fun of him. At least, not too much.
“Let’s see it,” Rich says, as we walk along a dirt road toward the front of the campground.
“What?” Johnny asks, glancing back and forth between us.
“The license, man.”
“Oh yeah!” He practically jumps up and down. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out his wallet and I quickly grab it.
“Hey!”
“Dude, a Spider-Man wallet?” I chuckle.
“Shut up, I know you like Spider-Man.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know that’d I’d throw that on my wallet. You’re gonna be a junior next year.”
“Whatever,” Johnny mutters.
Rich quickly yanks the wallet out of my hand and flips it open.
“Don’t worry, Johnny,” he says as he pulls out the ID. “Luc still wears Spongebob Squarepants pajamas.
“Shut up, Rich, I do not.” I scowl at him while Johnny starts laughing.
“Wow, look at you.” Rich ignores me, examining Johnny’s driver’s license.
“Pretty cool, right?” Johnny beams proudly. “Hey, can I drive your truck later?”
Rich looks at him like he’s crazy. “Uh, sorry, man. Proud of you for getting your license, but no.”
“Aw, come on.”
“Maybe I’ll let you as a graduation present.”
I laugh when Johnny curls his lip in annoyance. We make our way toward a large area where the entrance of the campground is located. The main building is where most of the staff works, but off to the side there’s a smaller building that’s used as a clubhouse with a few pool tables, and where you can check out horse shoes or other sports equipment.
Rich taps my chest, pointing over to the side of the clubhouse, where two girls are studying a huge map of the camp ground.
“Luc, slant right.” Rich glances at me and I nod.
We have this setup that we’ve honed over the last couple years. Whereas when I’m hanging out with Jackson, who uses the straight forward approach, Rich likes to use the ‘fishing’ approach. I kind of like that way myself, because going right up to a girl and asking for a name can and does lead to getting shut down. But with Rich’s way, which usually involves a football, frisbee, or just running, it feels like it takes off the edge of nervousness.