by Tucker, RH
“Can I?” he asks, looking up at me. I know he won’t move it anymore unless I give him the okay, and somehow that puts me at ease. Biting my lip, I give him a slight nod.
Keeping my hands on his head, I stare up at the ceiling and feel my shirt lift up just below my chest. He lays his face down on my stomach, and I feel his hand slide over my hip. As skittish as this position makes me, there’s also a calm sweeping over me. He moves his face a little, and his stubble scratches and slightly tickles. Then his hand lands over my belly button, and he pauses.
“So, I have to tell you something,” he whispers, sending a pang of anxiety through me. “I was watching you sleep right now, and a thought hit me. You know how I feel right now, no matter how you look. But one day you’ll be bigger than you are.” The anxiety morphs into real panic as he looks up at me. “And when that day comes, I’m going to be honest, my feelings are going to change for you.”
I shut my eyes, trying to force away any negative thoughts. Micah loves you, I repeat in my mind. He pulls down my shirt and crawls back up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Do you want to know why?”
I work on my thoughts again, trying to remember everything he says he loves about me. Things I’m trying to love about myself. So even though the fear is there, I nod slowly, still keeping my eyes shut.
“You’re gonna be bigger because one day,” he chuckles, “not any day soon, but one day, you’re gonna be pregnant.”
His words halt any more thoughts. My eyes pop open.
“You’ll be a mom one day, Veronica. And I have no doubt you’re going to be an amazing mom. So when that day comes, and you’re carrying my baby—in case that isn’t clear.” He smiles, and it forces a small laugh out of me. “Of course you’re going to be bigger. And my feelings will change. I don’t know how because it’s kind of hard to fathom right now. I love you so much, and I can’t imagine loving you anymore. But I know, when that day comes, I will. Because you’ll not only be my love, but we’ll be starting a family, and I know that love is just going to grow. Somehow, I’ll love you even more, but I just don’t know what that’ll feel like until it comes.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he kisses me with everything he has. His fingers sweep through my hair, as his other hand holds me tightly. The uncertain thoughts have vanished, replaced with nothing but searing love. To know that’s what he’s thinking makes me want to stay in bed with him, his hands on me, and my lips on his, forever.
His mouth breaks away from mine, and I sweep my fingers across his swollen lips. “I love you, Vero. I’ll always love you.”
I don’t want any space between us, so I reply while keeping my lips pressed against his. “I love you, too. And I really wish I wasn’t on my period right now.” My words make him chuckle.
“Silly girl.”
The End
Taylor
Shit, did I leave my TV on again?
I’ve done it before and had Micah hitting the walls, telling me to turn off my porno collection. I don’t have a porno collection. I just stream it. Who buys DVDs anymore?
Cracking my eyes open, I look down at the foot of my bed. Nope, TV is off. I hear the muffled moan again and realize it’s not a television. It’s Veronica.
For all her cutesy and innocent demeanor, I would’ve never guessed she was a screamer. I chuckle at the thought, grabbing my phone to check the time.
“Eight o’clock? Are you kidding me?”
Another moan, this one louder than the last, and she calls out his name.
“Hey!” I slam my hand against my headboard. “I’m trying to sleep in here!”
I don’t have work for another three hours, which means I have another two hours and thirty minutes of sack time left. I’m not really upset at them either. Ever since transferring to Woodbridge High all those years ago, Micah’s become my best friend. Almost like a brother. And I’m happy for them. I really am. But if this is what it sounded like to Micah while he was single and I was having my fun, I seriously don’t know how he didn’t move out. Not only is it annoying, but now I’ve got a raging boner.
“Sorry!” Veronica’s muffled apology echoes through our apartment. I hear Micah laughing.
I’m just about to put my phone back on my nightstand when it dings with a text message.
AJ: Sorry, I know it’s early. U up?
Me: I’m up. What’s up, kid?
The thought bubbles pop up like he’s typing something then they disappear. They show up again and then they’re gone again.
AJ: U didn’t come to the recital anniversary?
I knew he was going to say it, yet it still stings.
Me: I know. I’m sorry. They scheduled me to work and I tried to it get off, but the only other day I could get was a day I had an exam in one of my classes.
AJ: It’s okay :(
I feel like a real bastard, but not just because I missed the anniversary of Reese’s recital. It’s because I’m lying. However, I can’t tell him the truth. I can’t tell him I have to distance myself away from all of that. That was a lifetime ago. I was a different person then. I can’t be that person anymore.
AJ: You’re still coming for her birthday though, right?
Of course I can’t say no to that. Nor would I ever want to.
Me: Absolutely, kid. I got cupcakes last year. Think she’ll like those again.
AJ: I was thinking cookies.
Me: Really?
AJ: Yeah, she loved oatmeal raisin.
I laugh at the screen. A genuine laugh that doesn’t happen a lot while talking about Reese.
Me: Yeah, she does.
It doesn’t go over my head that I still use the present tense with her. I always will.
Me: Okay, oatmeal raisin it is. We playing video games after? It is a tradition, after all.
AJ: Yeah, a tradition of me kicking your butt in any game you pick.
Me: We’ll see. I’ve been practicing. You better watch your back.
AJ: Alright, cool. Later T. I gotta go to school.
Me: Later, buddy.
Birthdays and anniversaries. They should be happy events filled with laughs and love. And I guess, in a way, they still kind of are. But it’ll never be the same. I’ll never be the same.
I know there’s no way I’ll be able to go back to sleep now. Might as well open an app.
“Nope.” I swipe left. “Hmm, maybe … naw.” Another swipe left. “Oh, you could be fun.” Swipe right.
My phone dings. It helps I keep the profile picture of myself right after an intense workout session.
Looks like I’ve got my day planned out. Head to the gym for work, after work stay for a workout session, hit up my late afternoon class, and end the day forgetting my past life with another face from the crowd. Hey, it’s worked so far.
Piece by Piece
Rumor Has It, Book 5
Prologue
It’s a quiet morning. I’m smiling. She’s smiling. She wasn’t a few days ago, but now she is. This is what we needed, just her and me. As long as we’re together, it’ll be okay.
I turn through the winding road along the coast, thankful again that my uncle helped me out. He could’ve told me I was crazy, or even worse, told my parents. What sixteen-year-old asks his uncle to reserve him a hotel room for the weekend for him and his girlfriend. But that’s what he did. Probably because he knows, just like everyone else, that she’s the one. She’s always been the one.
“Thank you, Taylor.” Reese smiles at me, and I reach over and grab her hand, keeping one hand on the steering wheel. “You were right, this was perfect. And I know it’ll be okay.”
“Of course it will,” I answer, kissing her hand. “Reese, there’s nothing to worry about. We got this. And no matter what happens, even though I know nothing will,” I release a grin that makes her giggle, “I love you. Forever. We’ll be fine.”
As I look at her, I can’t help but think of how gorgeous she
is. I’ve always known she was beautiful, even before I knew what beautiful was. Even before I thought of girls as gorgeous. She was it. Always has been.
The sun hangs over the midday, and that sparkle shines over her, just like it always does, and I can’t help but smile again.
She reaches over and holds my face for a moment, before looking ahead.
“Taylor, look out!”
Chapter 1
Sasha
Again.
How is this happening again?
Look, I get it. People get hung up on exes, unrequited loves, or even become stalkers. How do you think people end up murdered with fingers replaced with broccoli stems, or their skin covered in gravy? Grotesque, I know. I think I saw it on one of those unsolved murder-mystery shows.
I’m digressing because I’m sitting in front of Alex. Alex, who I thought was interested in me. Who knows, maybe he actually was in the beginning, but for the last ten minutes—wait, has it been ten minutes? I glance at my phone, sitting at a very nice little Italian restaurant in the middle of the day, and check the time.
Nope. Twenty minutes.
He’s been going on and on about his ex for twenty-freaking-minutes. So much so, that he hasn’t seen me looking around the café, calling the waiter over—first to refill my glass of water, then for the check—and now to check my phone for the umpteenth time today. He just continues saying how he’s still in love with her. Rebecca.
Sorry, girl, you’ve got a whiner on your hands. Come to think of it, Becca … do you go by Becca? I’ll never meet you, so I don’t care, I’m calling you Becca. Come to think of it, Becca, you’re doing me a favor.
“Sasha, I’m so sorry,” Alex continues to apologize. “I never wanted to do this. Seriously, we were over.”
“It’s okay, Alex.” I gently tap his hand, trying to sound as understanding as I can, when all I want to do is throw water in my face. Yes, my face, not his. Because I can’t believe this is happening. Again.
“It’s not though,” he responds, finally making some semblance of an action that shows he wasn’t still in love with his ex all along. “I really did like you.”
“I know.” I nod, waiting for the waiter to bring the check. Where the hell is he?
“It’s just, we ended on such a weird term, you know?” he says like I should know.
Why would I know, Alex? Why would I have any idea about how your relationship ended with your ex-girlfriend?
“She wanted this job, but it’s in Bakersfield, which is a few hours away. Regardless, I still want to go to grad school.”
“Alex, it’s okay.” I offer a strained smile. Waiter, I asked for the check an hour ago. Maybe not, but it feels like it.
“Sasha, you’re so incredible. Seriously, I was thinking about introducing you to my parents.”
“Seriously, I get it. You know, sometimes, you just can’t move on from some people. Believe me, I know about it. Sometimes the heart just wants what it wants.”
“Yeah.” He nods, giving me a genuine smile like everything is right in the world.
“Here you go,” the waiter says, dropping the check off. Thank God.
Alex reaches for it. “Let me get that.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Please.” He moves his hand over mine, giving me another smile. It’s the smile that I liked to begin with. I give in. It’s the least he can do.
“Okay.”
He scans over the check then reaches for his wallet. I see the bill and notice he leaves the waiter a thirty percent tip. Damn, he’s a good tipper. That’s always a plus.
No. Sasha, you’re not going to think about him anymore.
As a matter of fact, I’m not going to think about any guy anymore. Why bother, when the guys I want to get serious with end up still pining over some other girl?
“Will you be okay?” Alex asks, getting up from his chair.
I plaster on the biggest smile I can. “Absolutely. This sucks, sure, but I’m glad you guys reconnected.”
“Seriously, Sasha, I didn’t mean to do this to you.”
“I know, Alex. You’re a nice guy.”
He nods, giving me one more smile before he turns and leaves.
Nice guys. What the hell is my problem with nice guys? And why the hell are they the ones dumping me? Isn’t the saying ‘nice guys finish last’?
It started senior year in high school. I know, almost two years ago, but still. I dated a couple of guys, but Charlie was the one. At least, I thought he was. When we went out, he’d just broken up with his girlfriend. I knew him for a while, so I helped him through that. He seemed really torn up about it.
After a few weeks, one thing led to another, and we dated for a couple of months. We had less than a month to go before we graduated. My first time was going to be with him. Then he told me he and his ex-girlfriend got back together.
Just like that, too. No big scene. No explanation. Well, no, there was an explanation.
“Sorry, Sasha, but me and Lisa are getting back together. We decided to work things out. I do want to thank you for helping me when we broke up though.”
Helping him? Seriously? Did he think I was just lending him my lips to make out with? As much as it hurt and as much as I wanted to be mad at him, I couldn’t. I knew Lisa, too. They were both really nice. And I knew they both liked each other, they were just freaking out because of the long-distance relationship thing that was coming up since they were going to go to different colleges. They were both my friends. She wasn’t even mad at me for hooking up with him. Now that I’m thinking about it, it is kind of weird.
I thought, okay, fine. High school, right? Guys and girls do stupid stuff in high school. I knew a guy that broke up with his girlfriend via Snapchat in high school. But high school ended. Guys should’ve been a little better now, right?
Nope.
Enter Lucas. God, Lucas was insanely hot. At first, I thought he didn’t like me. That should’ve been my first clue. I mean, I’m not saying every guy has to like me, but when the guy ignores you after you make out with him, and you have to practically beg him for a date, that should be a clue, right?
It was the summer before I started university, and we finally went out. Then there was a hot make-out session in his bed. For about twenty seconds, it was bliss. Until he called me another girl’s name. Yeah, if that’s not a mood killer, I don’t know what is.
But again, I couldn’t be mad at him. We’d had exactly one date. And it was at a dance club, not some romantic one-on-one dinner by candlelight. As soon as he told me he was hung up on someone else, I thought of Charlie. Maybe that’s the reason I tried to be understanding. Charlie wasn’t a bad guy. He was a good guy. A nice guy. And so was Lucas. Instead of berating him, I told him I understood. And in a way I did. I knew Charlie, so I kind of understood Lucas not being able to get over someone.
But that was it. Since then, I’ve gone out on dates, and I’ve had fun. But getting serious with someone? Forget it. Some of the guys I’ve gone out with have seemed like decent guys, too. They acted as if they wanted something serious, but I wasn’t taking that chance. We’d go out, have our fun, and I’d end it. I was happy with that. After all, I’m young … I’ve got time for a serious relationship later.
That’s when Alex popped up. We had English together. When our first year was over, we went out a couple of times over the summer. I decided to take up a job at a friend’s restaurant instead of going back to school, so that cut out time when the next semester started up again, but it really seemed like things were going good.
Alex was the first guy in a year and a half I thought would be different. Someone who could be long-term, boyfriend material. He’s hardworking, but he likes to hang out. We went to a play one weekend, and then the following weekend, we went to see the Dodgers play the Angels. Totally well rounded. He’s such a nice guy. Damn it, there’s that word again.
My phone goes off.
Tara: Hey, want to catch a movie ton
ight?
Me: Sure, my plans just completely freed up
Tara: ???
Me: Tell you later
That’s it. I’m so over nice guys. And trying to be in a relationship with guys hung up on exes or possible exes, or long lost loves they never knew they had until I came into their lives.
I’m cursed. It’s the only logical explanation. I’m cursed.
Chapter 2
Taylor
“Read it and weep, bitches!” I slam my midterm down on the counter at work.
Micah rolls his eyes because he knows exactly what I’m talking about since he’s my roommate. But the other two guys, Calvin and Ethan, both lean over the counter, inspecting my work.
“Bullshit,” Calvin argues. “You slept with the teacher or something.”
“Hey, I got nothing against cougars, but I don’t get down with sixty-three-year-old biology professors.”
“You’re missing out, man,” Ethan quips, making us all laugh.
“Yeah, well, I’ll let you keep the baby-mama-drama, E. We going out tonight to celebrate?” I ask.
“Yeah, I can swing that,” he answers.
“I’m down,” Calvin says.
Micah shakes his head, smiling. “Can’t tonight, me and Veronica are hitting up the movies.”
If it were anyone else, I’d make a stupid comment, but Micah’s like a brother. And I really like Veronica. They’re great together. “It’s all good, it’ll be a CTE night then.”